“……What did you say?”
Lariette asked again in a frail voice. Her white fingers, clutching the doctor by the collar, trembled violently.
The elderly doctor, half strangled, barely managed to wheeze out a ragged breath as his white eyebrows drooped pitifully. But he was not the one who was truly pitiful.
“I-I’m sorry. It was a misdiagnosis.”
“A misdiagnosis?”
“Yes, Lady Blanche, you are not terminally ill! You don’t have to die!”
The most pitiful one was her, Lariette Blanche.
She had believed every word about having only three months left to live and had gone and caused all sorts of trouble—only to be told she had a long life ahead of her. It was a horrifying thing to hear.
Her fiancé had flown into a rage, saying she had cursed him, and her parents had declared they would strike her from the family registry.
And above all else, the empire’s finest sword, the war demon Duke Candel, was chasing after her.
—No matter where you are, I will find you. My Lariette, so do not even think of running away.
When she recalled the words he had once spoken with tender eyes on a beautifully clear day, Lariette felt her liver and gall turn cold, goosebumps rising all over her body.
At the time, she had thought that sweet whisper tickling her ear was an affectionate murmur of love, but now that she had run away from him, she realized it had clearly been a threat. A warning.
The doctor, the very person who had driven her into the fires of hell, had no idea what she was feeling and merely chuckled, as if to say that it was fine as long as she was not going to die.
‘Just tell me I’m going to die instead!’
Lariette swallowed back the tears that seemed ready to spill at any moment and screamed inwardly.
***
The beginning of it all went back three months. The place was the same: “The Clinic of the Renowned Physician Zakaskov,” located on the outskirts of the capital’s downtown district.
Worried by the way her body had been especially prone to aches and fatigue lately, Lariette had stopped by the clinic since she happened to be out in the city. Assuming it would be nothing serious, she had brought only a single escort knight and had told no one of her visit.
Unexpectedly, however, the elderly doctor with the long white beard examined Lariette here and there with a grave expression.
“Hmm……”
“Why…… What is it?”
“Well, this is……”
Zakaskov, the self-proclaimed renowned physician, did not answer. He merely stroked his beard and sighed several times. Lariette, tense to the utmost, unconsciously swallowed dryly.
After groaning for quite some time, the doctor finally lifted his head and slowly met Lariette’s gaze. Seeing the thick sorrow contained in his green eyes, she guessed that the situation was not good.
“You haven’t been sleeping well lately, have you?”
“No.”
“You keep craving spicy food, but once you eat it, your stomach feels bloated.”
“Yes.”
Lariette obediently answered and nodded. The doctor looked at her with meaningful eyes and continued.
“And especially…… it feels as though your heart keeps beating too fast, doesn’t it? As though you can constantly hear the sound of your own heartbeat.”
“Yes, that’s right. How did you know?”
“Haa, as I thought. Goodness…… How should I tell you this……”
The doctor ran a hand down his face as if he had a headache. Lariette found his way of seeming about to speak but never quite doing so frustrating, but out of fear of what might come, she did not urge him on and quietly waited for his next words.
And the situation was far more serious than anything she had imagined.
“It is Rocadura disease. A rare, incurable illness that appears in an extremely small number of people who are born with an excessive amount of mana. It usually manifests before adulthood, but in your case, Lady Blanche, fortunately, it has appeared a little late.”
“An incurable illness? What does that……”
“And the fatality rate of Rocadura disease is ninety-eight percent.”
“……Pardon?”
“In other words…… Lady Blanche, you will die in about three months.”
For someone who had hesitated for so long, it was a remarkably blunt declaration of a terminal illness.
***
Lariette returned to the mansion with a face far too composed for someone who had just been diagnosed with a terminal illness. The announcement had been so sudden that she had no idea how she was supposed to act.
‘How do ordinary people react when they’re told they’re going to die?’
With the help of her maid, she changed into an indoor dress and thought blankly. Was she supposed to sob? Or should she have grabbed the doctor by the collar and shaken him, demanding that he save her somehow?
But Lariette thought crying would be a waste of stamina, and as for grabbing the doctor by the collar, she did not think he had done anything wrong. Besides, from the beginning, she had never been particularly greedy for life.
“My lady, you’re even quieter than usual today. Were you worn out from looking around town?”
Lariette’s personal maid, Anne, asked with a smile. She seemed puzzled by how especially quiet Lariette was.
“Anne, listen. What if.”
“There it is again, that ‘what if’ of yours.”
“I mean, really, what if……”
Anne shook her head wearily. It was because Lariette was always presenting her with countless “what ifs” and demanding answers to absurd hypothetical situations.
“If you found out you were going to die soon, Anne, how do you think you’d feel?”
“Me? Already? My lady, I’m still in the prime of my life.”
“That’s why I said what if. For example…… if you were going to die from a rare disease.”
“Well……”
Anne thought hard as she diligently brushed Lariette’s hair. There was not much time left until dinner, so she had to keep moving.
Lariette’s pink hair was dazzlingly beautiful, but it was long and curly, making it difficult to manage. Of course, that difficulty fell to the maids.
“Wouldn’t I be sad? I’d feel sorry for the people I’d leave behind, and I think I’d feel regretful and wronged over all the things I hadn’t done yet.”
“The things you hadn’t done……”
“Yes. I’d make a bucket list and do everything I wanted before I died!”
“A bucket list?”
“A list of things you want to do before you die. For example, buying every kind of cake and taking just one bite of each.”
Anne’s expression turned dreamy, as if she were imagining the sweet cakes from her favorite dessert shop.
A bucket list. It was an unfamiliar phrase. Lariette blankly repeated that one word over and over in her mind.
“But how could I die and leave our princess behind? You wouldn’t even be able to brush your own hair prettily.”
Anne continued with a playful smile. Lariette grumbled that she could brush her hair by herself just fine, but since she had no confidence that she could brush it prettily, she closed her mouth.
Anne and the other maids quickly finished dressing her with professional skill. Before long, the finely adorned young Lady Blanche stood in the mirror.
Her pink hair curled naturally and swayed near her waist, while a faint apricot hue colored her pale cheeks, as soft and white as flour dough, giving them a healthier glow. Beneath her long lashes, her violet eyes sparkled like beautiful glass beads, and her plump lips were elegantly red, like roses.
“Gasp, my lady! Doesn’t your makeup look especially good today?”
“Perhaps it’s simply my face doing all the work?”
“Please don’t say that anywhere else. You’ll be beaten by a mob!”
At the serious warning, Lariette giggled and left the room. On the way to the dining room, she went over Anne’s answer to her “what if.”
Unlike Anne, Lariette was not particularly devastated. The only person she could truly say she would leave behind was Anne, so she did not feel especially sorry.
However, as Anne had said, she did feel wronged by how many things she had never done. From the moment she was born until now, Lariette had lived while killing herself inside.
‘A bucket list…… What is there that I want to do?’
She tried to recall the things she had usually wanted, but nothing came to mind. Since she had believed that longing for what one could not have was another name for unhappiness, she had consciously wished for nothing at all.
When Lariette arrived, the waiting servants opened the doors to the splendid dining room. In order to preserve the dignity of a ducal family that had continued since the founding of the nation, every space in the mansion was large and luxurious.
‘Though that is already a thing of the past.’
Lariette thought cynically, a crooked smile hanging on her lips. It was a face quite different from the one she wore when she was with Anne.
As she entered elegantly, holding up her dress, what greeted her were the cold voices of the Duke and Duchess Blanche.
“You’re late. Sit down.”
“Tsk, arriving later than your parents. Where has your mind gone wandering?”
“Yes, Father. I’m sorry, Mother.”
Lariette answered politely and calmly took her seat. Although she had arrived before the appointed time, there was nothing to gain from talking back.
“Ahem. Have you been getting along well with Marquis Segrev lately?”
After a long silence, the duke posed a question. Lariette consciously smiled and pretended to be the good daughter.
“Of course, Father.”
“You must attend to him without any shortcomings. You have heard the rumors that he will soon purchase the mines, haven’t you?”
“Yes, of course.”
“Good. Bear this in mind. Marriage to him is the only way you can prove your worth.”
Of course it would be, to you, Father. Lariette gracefully sipped her tea and swallowed the answer containing her sharp true feelings along with it.
Marquis Segrev had already been married twice. He was fourteen years older than twenty-two-year-old Lariette, lusted after women, and had an ugly heart.
But none of that information mattered to the duke and duchess. The only things that mattered were that he possessed many assets and that he would pay the House of Duke Blanche a great deal of money as the price for Lariette.
The House of Duke Blanche had maintained its lofty position as a family of founding contributors, but recently, its financial circumstances had grown difficult. This was because Lariette’s father, the fifth Duke Blanche, had magnificently ruined a business venture.
And so Lariette had accepted the dreadful engagement to Marquis Segrev. Because that was the quality expected of an excellent duke’s daughter.
‘For the family……’
Those two words, so familiar to her, swam through Lariette’s empty heart. And at that moment, a loud noise rang out and snapped her back to her senses.
Bang!
Someone roughly opened the door and entered the dining room. It was a rude act, as though he had learned his manners in the afterlife, yet the duke and duchess lifted their heads with bright faces they had never once shown her.
“Raon! My son, you came quickly. You must be hungry, hm?”
“Bring the young lord’s food warmed up! It has already gone cold.”
“Oh, come on. It’s just a meal with family…… Why make such a fuss?”
The only young lord and heir of the House of Duke Blanche, and Lariette’s older brother, Raon, approached while roughly scratching his red hair, which resembled the duke’s. His face was wholly unkempt and his clothes disheveled, but his attitude was endlessly confident.
As if something displeased him greatly, Raon sat down in his seat with a deep scowl. It was directly in front of Lariette.
When he lifted his head and met her violet eyes, the crease between Raon’s brows grew even deeper.
“What the hell? Why are you here?”
“I don’t think this is somewhere I’m not allowed to be.”
With perfect posture, Lariette cut into the white-fleshed fish and kohlrabi as she answered indifferently. Raon, finding that attitude arrogant, continued in an irritable tone.
“Ha, you’re acting rather bold for someone who’s about to be sold off. Since when did you join family meals?”
“Why don’t you use the time you spend getting angry over pointless things to take more heir lessons? Sir Joel’s face looked dreadful.”
Lariette’s eyes curved gently, and a subtle sneer hung on her lips.
Sir Joel was the exclusive mage of the Blanche family and Raon’s tutor. In their childhood, he had been a teacher who taught Lariette as well, but after her mother insisted that a girl had no need to learn magic, only Raon was currently receiving his instruction.
Blanche was called a ducal house loved by magic. It was because many of the greatest mages throughout history had borne the name Blanche.
As such, her parents’ expectations for Raon were great, but unfortunately, he had not been given the gift called talent.
At Lariette’s remark pointing out his magical ability, Raon’s face flushed red with anger. And without thinking any further, he moved.
Splash!
At the sensation of something thick trickling down over her head, Lariette’s body froze like ice.
The sauce from the appetizer she had been cutting until moments ago stained her hair and beige dress red.
Thud. The head of the nameless fish that had decorated the plate slid down from her hair and fell onto her lap. The fish’s empty eye was turned toward her as though mocking her.
“Raon! What manners are these at the dining table!”
“Mother, I’m not eating if she’s here. Just looking at that unlucky face ruins my appetite. How am I supposed to sit here?”
Lariette slowly lifted her napkin and wiped her hair. The frail fingers holding the napkin trembled without her realizing it.
But there was no one here who would comfort her.
“Then why do you speak to your older brother that way! How uncultured…… Lariette, go up to your room.”
“……Mother.”
Lariette called out to her mother in a desperate voice. But the gaze directed at her was nothing but cold.
It was the same when she turned her head to look at her father. The Duke and Duchess Blanche cared only for their son; Lariette was not within their sight.
She had always tried to gain her parents’ recognition. She had desperately learned etiquette and obeyed their words.
But the one who always received their recognition and attention was Raon. Even though he never made any effort at all.
There was no happiness for Lariette in a place like this.
‘I’m going to die in three months.’
Her lips moved, but all that came out was a small, deep breath.
‘But you wouldn’t care, would you?’
Lariette rose to her feet and brushed the fish head and sauce from her lap.
When the sticky sauce smeared onto the carpet, the duchess immediately frowned. Lariette ignored her mother’s sharp nagging and walked out of the dining room.
Red sauce ran down her white cheek like blood. Yet her bearing was nothing but proud.
At last, she had found something she wanted to do.
“I won’t die like this.”
Lariette whispered as if making a declaration. For there was nothing for her to fear when she stood before death.
Or, to be precise, when she mistakenly believed she stood before death.