I basically spend my days in idleness.
When I wake up, I wash up briefly and have breakfast, then stare blankly out the window. Around noon, I go find Sohwi and spend teatime with him, laze around some more, have dinner with Sohwi, and then go to sleep.
Laid out like this, it sounds like the daily life of an utterly hopeless person, but what can I do?
I have nothing to do.
Right after my possession, I stayed only in my room, being cared for because I was a patient, and now they won’t give me anything to do because I have no memories.
Even so, a life like a pet’s, where I just sit still and eat the food I’m given, doesn’t suit someone like me, who used to live as a working member of busy modern society.
…It is a little nice. Being supported is the best. But I’m getting beyond bored and turning lethargic.
I even brought it up to Hwaya, asking her to give me some simple work I could do.
Things like preparing ingredients, which I used to do for work, or cleaning—something anyone could do.
“Madam, you truly never change.”
But she refused for a reason I couldn’t quite understand.
Never change? I don’t know how much time has even passed since I possessed this body for Hwaya to make that sort of judgment.
All I’d done was mention sewing for wages because of money.
A day is so long. If they won’t let me do anything, how am I supposed to spend it?
“If you are truly bored, how about trying embroidery?”
Embroidery…
The only sewing I’d ever done in my life was on my military uniform at Nonsan Training Center. Could I really do this?
“You used to enjoy embroidery before as well, Madam.”
It seemed Ryu Sua had enjoyed embroidery, so it was only natural for Hwaya to recommend it to me.
The problem was that inside the body of her mistress was an old man who had lived a life far removed from such elegant hobbies.
I had no idea when she had brought it out. Before I knew it, Hwaya was holding a basket filled with what appeared to be embroidery supplies.
“If I could, I would stay by your side and teach you all day, but preparations for receiving guests are in full swing.”
“When you say it like that, what does that make me for whining that I was bored?”
With an expression full of lingering regret, Hwaya handed me the basket, and even as she left the room, she looked back several times.
I waved at her and saw her off as she went to work.
The moment I was left alone in the room, I sat down carelessly where I was and checked the contents of the basket she had given me.
There were bundles of thread in various colors, needles of different sizes, pieces of fabric that looked like scraps, and papers with drawings on them.
At a glance, I could tell Hwaya had prepared everything carefully for me.
“But what am I supposed to start with?”
I had no clue where to even begin touching any of this, or what I was supposed to do first.
For no reason, I picked up a needle and tapped it against my finger, then stroked one of the thread bundles before putting it back where it had been.
This is hopeless. I just want to shove this basket into a corner, stare blankly out the window like usual, and when the time comes, have tea with Sohwi.
But the original owner of my body supposedly enjoyed this as a hobby, so it would be strange if I showed absolutely no interest in embroidery.
To them, I was merely Ryu Sua without her memories. The same person.
“Let’s just try something for now.”
I don’t even need to be good at it. As long as there are traces that I at least tried, that should be enough.
I picked up a random needle, pulled out some black thread, and tried to thread it through the eye, but the thread wouldn’t go through the tiny hole.
Only after struggling for ages, wetting the end of the thread with saliva, did I finally manage to pass it through the needle.
“Not much to it.”
I had only just threaded the needle, but they say beginning is half the battle, don’t they?
Even if you call it by the grand name of embroidery, its essence is still sewing. If I poke a threaded needle through cloth here and there, something will probably be finished eventually.
Things like this usually turn out fine if you just follow the recipe. So all I have to do is look at the patterns that came with it and copy them exactly.
“Let’s see… flowers. Trees. Is this a valley?”
I take it back. Cooking according to a recipe is actually the hardest thing.
The patterns I had imagined were at the level of children’s coloring books. You know, pictures drawn in big, clear shapes.
But the patterns in my hands were like someone trying to hand me acrylic paint. There was no way I could recreate these.
As I returned the patterns that looked far too daunting one by one into the basket, the once sizable stack dwindled until almost none remained.
Only three or four sheets with relatively simple flowers and a few animal-shaped embroidery designs managed to remain in my hands.
“A fox…”
Among them, my eyes went to a cute little drawing of a fox.
If I’m going to make something, wouldn’t it be nice to give it as a gift to the two people I’m always grateful to?
A handkerchief or something wouldn’t matter even if it was a bit poorly made. I could embroider foxes matching each of their fur and eye colors and give those to them.
“Good. Decided.”
Now, which of the two should I make first? Sohwi, I suppose?
Yeah. I should start with Sohwi’s.
Sohwi’s fur is white, so if I just outline the shape on white cloth, it’ll be done.
After picking up a piece of white fabric from the basket, I immediately and carefully pushed the needle into it, then pulled it out through the other side.
Even though it was a thin piece of cloth, the sensation of piercing it with the needle was clearer than I expected.
The faint sound of the thread passing through the fabric after the needle had pierced it was pleasant to hear.
“Oh.”
I had only just sewn a single stitch, but somehow, it felt fun.
When I first tried cooking, even just pouring oil into a frying pan had been enjoyable. This felt exactly like that.
Even though it was nothing special, a sense of accomplishment from doing something slowly bloomed in my chest.
As I continued sewing, one stitch, then two, the places the thread passed through, which had been no different from dots, gradually connected into lines.
The jagged, uneven line clumsily followed the pattern and engraved the shape of a fox onto the cloth. I finished it off by tying a knot in the thread.
For a first attempt, I thought I’d done fairly well, so I immediately spread the cloth out and checked the embroidery.
“Hmm…”
It wasn’t good. Of course the shape was clumsy, since it was my first time.
When I started, I had definitely thought it would be complete as long as I outlined the shape on white cloth, but now that I had actually sewn it, all I could see were black lines.
It didn’t look like a fox with “Sohwi’s colors” at all.
“Shouldn’t it look at least a little decent?”
It was a ridiculous thought.
I was trying embroidery for the first time. What did I mean, make it look decent?
But it felt disappointing to call it finished like this, so I carefully filled in the body I had left blank with white thread.
And yet, the clumsy white fox embroidery still didn’t satisfy me.
“Hmm… was this his eye color?”
Muttering unconsciously, my hand naturally reached for the basket.
I found a bundle of yellow thread that resembled Sohwi’s eye color and carefully stitched eyes into the fox embroidery.
“Ah, damn… is this not it?”
Even as I tilted my head and continued stitching one careful thread at a time, the clumsy fox embroidery didn’t please me.
It was a white fox, yes. But I didn’t want to say I had embroidered it while thinking of Sohwi.
I could picture him perfectly well in my head, so why didn’t I like what I’d embroidered?
Just yesterday, we had held teacups together and talked about trivial things.
The way he was busy but still deliberately made time every time to come find me and throw mischievous jokes my way.
And yet, how he always looked at me with careful eyes…
“Wh-what am I thinking about?”
Not that. I should be picturing Sohwi in fox form.
A little too much strength went into the hand holding the cloth I had been embroidering, and I crumpled the fabric slightly.
“Ah.”
A small sigh escaped me without my realizing it.
I worked pretty hard on this… No. This is actually better.
Since it’s my first attempt and it looks clumsy, I’d be embarrassed not only to give it as a gift, but even to show it to him.
“A handkerchief?”
“Yes. It’s a handkerchief. But I need to make it again—eek!”
Without thinking, I answered the voice that came from behind me, and then my heart dropped in shock.
Startled, I immediately turned my head and saw Sohwi, who had somehow come close behind me and was looking down.
My question of when he had gotten there lasted only a moment before Sohwi snatched the piece of cloth from my hand in an instant.
“Teatime passed quite some time ago, yet you did not come. I wondered what you were doing.”
“W-wait!”
I reached out in surprise, but Sohwi immediately straightened up and lifted it out of my reach.
Even when I stretched out with all my might, I could barely reach near his face, let alone the hand holding the embroidery.
“So this is what you were making?”
“Please give it back.”
“Was this not meant for me?”
“It was, but I’m going to make it again. Again!”
Why did he have to snatch the one I made badly? I shouted inwardly as I looked up at Sohwi.
The faint smile on his face was annoying.
“I like it quite a bit.”
“I hate it because it’s a mess!”
The mindset that it was fine for it to be clumsy because it was my first time had long since vanished.
I absolutely did not want to give him something sloppy.
Why was that?
“Before, I probably gave you something well made…”
Ah. I see.
“I don’t want to give you something that’s a mess.”
I was embarrassed.
I was embarrassed that it would be compared to something Ryu Sua, who did embroidery as a hobby, had given him.
Surely, as befitting someone like a female protagonist, she would be good at embroidery too. Just looking at those difficult patterns that had been in the basket was enough to know that.
But I couldn’t even properly do the easiest shape, and it turned out clumsy.
“What does that matter?”
“It’s embarrassing!”
“I like it because it is the first thing you made for me.”
Ah. Again.
Again, I felt a little dizzy and hot.
“We decided not to mind what happened before you lost your memories, did we not?”
Whenever I saw that sly smile, it felt like I was getting heatstroke.
“It’s my first one, so it’s bad.”
“The very first embroidery you made was mine?”
“No, that’s not what I—!”
Like someone dazed from the heat, unable to think straight, I couldn’t even string my words together properly.
In the meantime, Sohwi lowered his head toward me.
“Thank you.”
And in an instant.
With a soft smack, something hot touched my forehead.
“Huh…?”
Before I could properly understand what had just happened.
“Well then, my wife, I am rather busy today as well, so I shall see you at dinner.”
I stared blankly until Sohwi, who was retreating as if fleeing, disappeared from view.
The moment he was no longer visible, I collapsed onto the spot.
Belatedly, I tried to cool down my burning face by covering it with my hands, which were at least cool, but by then my hands and ears had all become hot as well, so it didn’t help.
…I-I was angry. I think I was annoyed too.
I’m a man, after all. If I receive skinship like that from another man, of course I’d get heated. Yeah. My temperature would rise.
Yeah.
That’s what it was.