Chapter 44
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Returner I
Shin No-a
1
There are a lot of weirdos among the Awakened.
I can't speak for other places, but among Korean Awakened, the ratio of weirdos is definitely high. Take Tang Seo-rin, who's serious about witch cosplay, or Cheon Yo-hwa, who calls their guild a girls' high school.
But at least those two understand human language, so they're on the relatively manageable side.
Today, let's talk about one of the most uniquely deranged among the weirdos—the Sword Queen of Yuldokuk.
2
As we've seen, the 'Wheel Murderer' incident was wrapped up somehow. However, the fact that the Saintess had fallen dealt me a massive shock.
It's been quite a while since I took this much of a mental hit.
If I had to find a similar case, it would be when Go Yori, whom I trusted as a thoroughly 'good person,' hit a grand slam into the back of my head.
What this means is:
'It's vacation season.'
A shout rang out from across the Busan Station waiting hall.
"Hey, you fucking bastard! What kind of bullshit is that!"
"Hoi."
The sound of popcorn exploding—poof—also rang out.
The man who exits faster than anyone else in the world, Seo Gyu, eliminated.
"Kyaaah!"
Because of a fairy who doesn't understand human hearts, people screamed and fled in all directions. It was a familiar scene.
With this, the birth of SG-Net was gone. In other words, I voluntarily gave up one of the means to control Awakened, whether openly or secretly.
What is there to hide?
I, Jang the Undertaker, a regressor, had absolutely no intention of saving the world in this 108th iteration. That Seo Gyu died was simply proof that I had gone on strike.
'And above all, that guy... is too weak to women.'
Seo Gyu had long ago fallen for Go Yori and sold information about the Saintess.
That much I could understand. Go Yori's mental brainwashing beam was just that powerful. Didn't even I fall into hypnosis and almost produce an R-rated gore-style doujin out of nowhere?
But the last iteration was different. Now that I think about it calmly, Seo Gyu that bastard was 100% recruited by the Saintess.
He probably took charge of cleverly manipulating SG-Net's public opinion or instilling fear about the Wheel Murderer.
There was no problem with cooperating with the Saintess itself.
The problem was that he hid it from me!
'Insolent brat. Ungrateful brat. After all I did for him.'
I raised him with such care, and in the end, he was saying that his relationship with a female colleague was more important than his savior and teacher.
For reference, I held grudges for a long time. How long, you ask... roughly 200 years?
When a regressor holds a grudge, not just the dog days of summer but all four seasons, 365 days a year, frost and hail and yellow dust would sweep in.
You say it's unfair for the next iteration's self to be punished for the previous iteration's mistakes? Life was inherently unfair. That little brother needed to be beaten for a while.
Where else in the world is there a big brother like me?
Seo Gyu liked Italian-style pizza so much that I特意 saved a pizza artisan in Busan and helped him open a shop. Such was the extent of this big brother's love.
'Pizza confiscated!'
For the crime of disappointing his big brother, Seo Gyu that brat would have to endure a life without pizza for the next 200 years. That is, from the 10th to the 15th iteration.
Anyway, Seo Gyu paid the price by getting 'Hoi-ed' by the fairy.
What was really important was how to make good use of this vacation.
As I crouched in a corner of the waiting hall planning my vacation, Fairy 264 came toddling over.
"What are you doing, human?"
"As you can see, I'm planning my vacation."
"Vacation?"
"Yes. The world is ruined anyway, so I should enjoy a peaceful and meaningful time. Since I'm going on vacation, shouldn't I pick a unique route I haven't experienced before?"
"Hoek. So you were a crazy person... The seniors taught me not to even go near crazy people..."
The fairy scurried away.
As usual, I farmed silver bells from the waiting hall's souvenir shop and then sank into solitary contemplation.
Suddenly, the conversation I had with the Saintess in a previous iteration struck my mind like lightning.
—All Awakened like me!
—No, only 50% of Awakened like Mr. Undertaker. It's just that the strong ones are positioned in that 50%, and among the remaining Awakened, there are many who have been eyeing Mr. Undertaker. Like the Sword Queen of Yuldokuk.
The Saintess's words unintentionally pricked my pride.
I, Jang the Undertaker, may be a lowly regressor, but I had the pride of treating and helping people without prejudice as much as possible. Worried that my personality might become arrogant after a long life of regression, didn't I deliberately stick to polite speech with everyone I met for the first time?
If I set my mind to it, I was confident I could make not 50%, but 90%, no, 95% of Awakened like me.
"Alright."
I stood up from my crouching position.
In this iteration, I would win the heart of the Sword Queen of Yuldokuk.
3
The fact that the Sword Queen was a crazy old man could be clearly seen just from his title 'Sword Queen.'
Anyone who's read martial arts novels would know that Sword Queen was a type of title. And one that attached only to female masters, not male ones.
But the Sword Queen of our world was, by any measure, an old man with a splendidly grown beard, a man well over sixty years of age.
Doesn't the back of your neck already tingle?
"This one is the foremost under heaven!"
And this person, his first-person pronoun was 'this one.'
Since he called himself Sword Queen, he wore a sword, but that sword was actually a fake sword stolen when a kendo dojo went bankrupt—in other words, a fake sword made of aluminum.
I trust it's now perfectly explained why I hadn't been close with the Sword Queen through 108 iterations. He's completely crazy.
"Furthermore, this one is also the foremost of all time."
Now.
Perhaps some of you may have already judged, 'Ah, so it's that cliché where he seems like a crazy person but turns out to be normal when you dig deeper into his circumstances? I know that one.'
If so, I must reluctantly deliver some sad news. You have absolutely no talent as a fortune teller.
A true madman is on a different level from such crazy person cosplay. When you dig into the circumstances, the crazy person level rises even more, like approaching a radiation-contaminated zone.
"Finally, this one is the Sword Queen of Yuldokuk!"
"Yeah. What is Yuldokuk?"
"Ahem, you don't know Yuldokuk? Alas. It was a nation established by His Highness the Grand Duke, who righteously rose up in anger against the tyranny of those English fellows."
Looking it up later, Yuldokuk's real name was the 'Principality of Sealand,' a micronation.
What kind of fateful intersection this old Sword Queen found between the English 'Sealand' and the Korean 'Yuldokuk,' even I, fluent in eight languages, don't really know. Even if you asked the laborers at the Tower of Babel construction site, you'd probably only get 'I don't know' as an answer.
For reference, Sealand... no, Yuldokuk chose not a democratic republic but an absolute monarchy. A class system existed. It was somewhat behind the global trends and currents.
Going a step further, the Yuldokuk government learned its philosophy of governance from none other than the Romance of the Three Kingdoms.
In the old Three Kingdoms period, there was a man named Yu Gul who was emperor of Han. This monarch, commonly called 'Emperor Ling of Later Han,' was a cutting-edge leader running at the forefront of fashion at the time.
Fully 1700 years before The Wealth of Nations was published in faraway England, Yu Gul had personally awakened to the principles of capitalism.
—The state is my property. Therefore, official positions are also my private property.
—If you want to borrow someone's private property, shouldn't you show due sincerity?
The emperor firmly refused the worn-out evil practice of lining up official positions based on blood relations. And instead of the superstition of bloodline, he appointed officials based on the only faith that existed in this world—money.
This reformist monarch not only sold high positions at high prices but also created a system allowing impoverished subjects to pay for positions in installments. Contrary to conventional wisdom, the seeds of capitalism bloomed in the East before the West.
Although Yu Gul's reforms ended in failure, they later inspired countless revolutionaries.
Even Britain, the home of capitalism, could not escape this influence.
At the end of the 20th century, a certain Briton decided to found a nation on a remote platform. He learned the wisdom of governing a state from ancient sages.
—Wouldn't selling noble titles help the national finances?
It was truly a reversal of Eastern Way Western Technology, a scene of Western Way Eastern Technology.
This Briton went a step further than his predecessor, opening doors not just to his own citizens but to people worldwide. He well understood the truth that money should have no borders or nationality.
The power of open doors reached South Korea, thousands of miles from Britain. The protagonist of this story, the Sword Queen, was the very exemplar.
He spent a hefty sum of 70,000 won at list price, with various options added up to 250,000 won in Korean currency, to purchase the title of Baron of Yuldokuk. It was a triumphant feat of a Korean reclaiming the noble title that had officially disappeared since the fall of the Korean Empire.
The old man lifted his nose high.
"From now on, call this one Sword Baron."
He liked martial arts novels, so Sword. Baron, so Baron.
It was an insane naming sense, but the tragedy didn't end there.
While humanity was fracturing along race and nationality, monsters treated everyone equally. When Seoul flew away in Korea, East Anglia evaporated entirely in Britain.
Naturally, the nearby micronation couldn't be safe either. Yuldokuk, boasting an actual population of 4, vanished, remaining only as a page in history.
For reference, it was also the fastest-exiting nation to perish in the world after the Gate incident.
"How could this be! My country has perished!"
The old man who lost his country in an instant swallowed his bitter tears.
If he had collapsed here, he would have been merely third-rate. The old man righteously stood up. A man's tears for a ruined nation needed only one drop.
"From now on, this one will carry on Yuldokuk's legacy!"
The fastest-exiting nation suddenly experienced the fastest revival movement.
"However, this one cannot forget His Highness the Grand Duke's grace, so how could this one presumptuously claim the grand ducal title? This one will only claim a title below the Grand Duke, below the Duke. From now on, call this one Sword Queen!"
That's right.
The Sword Queen's Chinese characters were surprisingly Sword Queen—meaning Marquis of the Sword.
It was rare even in Yuldokuk for someone to leap from Baron to Marquis, skipping Viscount and Count. Because the original Yuldokuk had no Marquis title.
Naturally, the official name of the new Yuldokuk also changed to 'Yuldo Marquisate,' a nation ruled by a Marquis. Of course, the only person claiming to be a citizen of this backward nation was the Sword Queen himself.
Having heard the background of how the Sword Queen came to be, any sensible human would judge, 'If I get close to that old man, my address might get transferred to a mental hospital.'
But surprisingly, the Sword Queen survived. He firmly preserved himself in this chaotic world where the world had ended and monsters ran rampant. Far from being confined to a mental hospital, Awakened were fighting to have the Sword Queen.
Could it be because he was a sword master like his title suggested?
The answer is NO. The Sword Queen didn't even know how to use aura. A fashion swordsman carrying around a fake sword—how well could he fight? I guarantee that an elementary school student who just got their yellow belt at a Haedong Kendo dojo would show more of a master's quality than the Sword Queen.
The Sword Queen's survival strategy was established in a truly unexpected field.
"Um, sir."
"……."
"……."
"…Sword Queen-nim."
"Oh, are you a young scholar of the martial world? What brings you here?"
"It's nothing else, but I wanted to ask how this spring's farming is going…"
"Guah! Farming is sincerity and care. You should think that this one is growing things well enough—why are you trying to surveil!"
"No, not surveillance…"
"Guah! Why does the young scholar have so many words! If you keep bothering this one, I might just cut off food supplies to your guild entirely!"
Behind the shouting Sword Queen spread golden wheat fields.
The Sword Queen's ability was [Growing Plants].
Regardless of climate, soil, or water quality, he could grow crops freely, and the speed of crop growth could be accelerated by 3 to 6 times—an absolutely broken SSS-grade ability.
Because of this, the Sword Queen evolved from 'crazy old man' to 'old man that absolutely no one can touch or mess with.'
"Do you know? If this one sets his mind to it, all you young scholars' stomachs will rot! Want to taste the barley hill?"
"……."
The Sword Queen.
Very unfortunately for Korea's Awakened... this crazy old man was the only lifeline of the Korean Peninsula after civilization had perished.