Chapter 38
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Father and Son III
Shin No-a
5
"Follow me this way."
"Y-yes..."
A certain soccer stadium located in Busan.
Half-destroyed by monsters, the stadium's outer walls had nearly collapsed. Amidst the debris of steel frames scattered about, I visited this place for the first time in a very, very long while.
The first time I visited, I came with someone who was a father. The second time, I came with his son.
"Wow."
Kim Si-eun looked around like a crane, perhaps never having been to such a large stadium before.
"It's really big. Do those spectator seats get completely full on game days?"
"Cases where it's completely full are rarer than you'd think. Still, I understand that an average of about 10,000 people used to attend in person."
It was a place I was revisiting after more than 500 years, yet I found my destination surprisingly quickly.
On one side of the spectator seats, a crystal that looked like it belonged in a deep cave had emerged. It was a crystal as tall as I was.
A marker visible only to my eyes.
I personally called that crystal a 'monument' or 'tombstone.' Since no one else could even perceive it anyway, I could have just called it 'that thing' and it wouldn't have mattered.
Even Kim Si-eun, standing right next to me, couldn't see the crystal that had come right up to his nose.
"Now, take my hand."
"Ah, yes."
"I can freely enter the dreams of those I've sealed at any time. But you can't. You can only access the dream while holding my hand. So no matter what happens, you must never let go of my hand. Understand?"
"I understand, hyung-nim."
Kim Si-eun cautiously grasped my hand.
I nodded.
"Then close your eyes. Prepare yourself."
"...."
"Here we go."
I placed my left palm against the crystal's surface.
With a soft squish, my hand passed through the crystal. The surface, which had been transparent and gleaming like a mirror, accepted my body without any resistance, as if it were a water surface.
In that state, one step.
Another step, and about six steps in total, and everything around me rapidly turned pitch black. It felt like some mischievous child had smeared black paint everywhere, or like I had entered the deepest part of the ocean.
"...."
It was a familiar sensation to me, but probably not to Kim Si-eun. The feeling of flinching in fear was conveyed directly through his hand.
After a while.
-Waaaaaaaaah!
Suddenly, a cheer that seemed to shake heaven and earth erupted beside us.
"Hiek!"
Kim Si-eun opened his eyes in surprise. He reflexively surveyed his surroundings. And his eyes grew even wider than when he first heard the cheers.
"W-wait, what?"
The cheers were from supporters.
The stadium, which had been desolate with not a single person except us, was now filled with home fans and away fans.
Where the debris of ruins had been, now stood soccer club flags, slogans, balloons, and above all, people.
"Attack! Attack! Quickly, quickly!"
Someone who looked like a coach was shouting from the edge of the field.
On the green field, players were running like madmen. Every time they dribbled, every time they made a brilliant pass, every time they prepared for a corner kick, cheers that could shake the sky rang out from the spectator seats.
-Oh! Our club! Our eternal hometown!
The heat of support that could be tasted only before the world became this broken.
By others' standards, 5 years ago. By my standards, more than 500 years ago.
-My love! My hometown!
-Today too, we shall win!
The soccer club fans were waving their smartphones and jumping in place. At the forefront of the spectator seats, giant flags fluttered endlessly.
Beneath the flags rippling red like evening waves, Kim Si-eun stood frozen solid.
"...."
"Look over there. Si-eun."
I pointed at the field. Kim Si-eun's gaze followed my finger.
Thump, the soccer ball bounced up from the grass. A player received it with his chest and skillfully dashed forward.
Kim Ju-cheol.
-Ohhh!
The crowd gasped in admiration.
Kim Ju-cheol, whose appearance had been buried in the fog of time in my memory, was running on the field looking a bit younger and a bit sturdier.
Above all, Kim Ju-cheol's left foot freely kicked the ball—thump, thump—as he sprinted forward.
-Go! Quickly go! Counterattack!
-There's no one there!
-Kim Ju-cheooooool!
Despite being a defender, Kim Ju-cheol crossed the half line without hesitation. Both allies and enemies desperately chased after him.
A striker on his side barely managed to get his head to the ball that Kim Ju-cheol had sent up with his left foot. The ball, having hit his head, shook the goal net.
-Waaaaaaaaah!
Kim Ju-cheol had recorded an assist.
His exploits didn't end there. Shortly after, in a corner kick situation, Kim Ju-cheol leaped high. And this time, he directly headed the soccer ball into the goal net himself.
The scoreboard changed from 1:1 to 2:1. A comeback goal.
A defender had produced 1 assist and 1 goal in an instant.
-Gooooooal! Goal! Goal!
-Kim Ju-cheol! Kim Ju-cheol! Kim Ju-cheol!
Right at that moment.
Kim Ju-cheol lightly slid like a skater and ran toward the spectator seats. The camera illuminated him. Kim Ju-cheol easily jumped over the advertising boards and approached a female spectator to give her a kiss.
The female spectator was holding a young child in her arms. Kim Ju-cheol also kissed the crown of the child's head. The scene was captured perfectly on the stadium's large screen.
-What? Who is that?
-They say it's Kim Ju-cheol's wife!
-Ohhh! Kim Ju-cheol! Kim Ju-cheol!
He even received a warning from the referee for the excessive celebration, but neither the players, nor the crowd, nor Kim Ju-cheol himself cared at all.
Beside me, Kim Si-eun murmured quietly.
"Mom...?"
It seemed Kim Si-eun recognized who the woman the soccer player had kissed was. He couldn't close his gaping mouth.
"No way. Then it's really..."
Kim Si-eun's small murmur couldn't continue for long. The supporters' cheer song rang out.
-Kim Ju-cheol! Our iron wall!
-No one can break through Kim Ju-cheol!
-Kim Ju-cheol! Our iron wall!
Kim Ju-cheol's face, holding the young child, looked incredibly happy. The child in his father's arms was also beaming with laughter.
A past that could never be returned to.
A glory that could never be regained.
"...."
"That was the happiest moment for your father."
I spoke quietly.
I spread my aura to create a barrier between us two and our surroundings. The crowd's cheers grew distant like a faint echo. As the sound faded, the scene before us flickered like a dream.
"And it's a moment he's repeating forever."
"Th-this is strange. He looks so happy. Why on earth did he erase himself from this world? Huh? Why did he abandon his family and trap himself in a dream like this?"
"...."
Because not long after, Kim Ju-cheol's left foot would be completely shattered.
Because he fell into alcohol and gambling, abandoned his family, and collapsed in Macau or Gangwon-do, and because his wife, who had been raising their son alone, had died.
But instead of answering that way, I asked this:
"Do you want to go ask your father directly?"
"...."
Kim Si-eun's lips trembled.
"...Yes."
This place had already become Kim Ju-cheol's world, but as the caster, I too had some power to interfere.
When the match ended, Kim Ju-cheol finished his MOM interview and headed to the locker room. I followed behind him, still holding Kim Si-eun's hand. No one perceived our existence.
"Huh?"
Only Kim Ju-cheol recognized me. He had been bouncing along with his teammates when he turned to look this way. With a brightly smiling face.
"Who might you be? A fan? You shouldn't come in here!"
"It's me. Mr. Kim Ju-cheol."
"Huh? Who are you?"
"The undertaker. The one who trapped you in this time."
I looked straight into his eyes.
"Don't you recognize me?"
"...."
The smile faded from Kim Ju-cheol's face.
At the same time, all the colors that had dyed this world turned completely gray. The players chanting cheer songs in the locker room, the manager and coaches about to enter, the champagne some player had popped—all stopped in mid-air.
"Ah...."
Only Kim Ju-cheol's sigh flowed quietly.
"Right. That's right. Correct. It was a dream."
"...."
"This was a dream. Yes, it was all a dream...."
Kim Ju-cheol quietly looked around. He looked at the people who had been his teammates one by one with eyes filled with various emotions. Then, whoosh, he exhaled.
"So it's become a lucid dream now. Actually, that's better. Since things have come to this, I should go see my wife and son's faces one more time. No reason to stay in the locker room with these insufferable guys."
"There won't be any need for that."
"Hm?"
"Once this moment passes, you will forget everything, Mr. Kim Ju-cheol. The memory of meeting me, the conversations we had. Just as the people of the world remember nothing about you, you too can no longer accumulate any memories about the world."
"Goodness. Is that so? That's pretty brutal...."
Kim Ju-cheol flopped down on the bench. Wiping the sweat flowing all over his body with a towel, he spoke.
"Then why have you come to see me, undertaker? Is this meeting also something that's been repeated many times without me knowing? Did you come to watch my awesome mad movie in person?"
"Because even if it has no meaning for you, it could have meaning for your family."
"Hm? What does that mean?"
"This young man who came with me is your son."
"What?"
Only then did Kim Ju-cheol look at the companion beside me. As if finally recognizing the presence of another person.
Kim Ju-cheol blinked.
"Si-eun?"
"...."
"Si-eun? Is it really Si-eun? Wow, how did he get so big!"
Kim Ju-cheol sprang up and rushed at Kim Si-eun. Kim Si-eun flinched but didn't refuse Kim Ju-cheol's hug.
"My goodness! You've become a man! Wow, when I last saw you, you were a baby, a real newborn baby! How old are you now? Middle school? High school?"
"...I'm 20."
"What? 20? No, why is the kid so tiny! What have you been eating all this time that your height turned out like that! Do you know what kind of genes I have!"
The tall defender seemed shocked by his son's height.
"Um... Father?"
"Huh? What do you mean father? That's unnecessarily embarrassing. Just call me dad like usual...."
Kim Ju-cheol suddenly closed his mouth.
He peered into Kim Si-eun's face. Then he looked at my face. A shadow rose on his face.
"...Wait a moment. Sorry, but my wife... your mother, when did she pass away?"
"...She passed away 7 years ago."
"...."
The surroundings fell silent.
After a long while, "Ah," Kim Ju-cheol murmured.
"That's why."
His gaze briefly turned toward me.
"That's why you warned me. That's why... that's why."
I didn't bother answering him. I simply gave a small nod.
I knew well enough how terrible it felt to be forgotten by the one you cherished most. But while I had the chance to start over anytime, Kim Ju-cheol could never be given such an opportunity.
Forever.
"...."
"...Si-eun."
The father took his son's shoulder. Kim Ju-cheol took Kim Si-eun's shoulder. It wasn't a grip with strong force. Rather, it was closer to a fragile pressure, like the leaves of weeping willow trees.
"I'm sorry."
"...."
"Your father... your dad was a very weak person. A truly weak person. I didn't know you'd survive when the world turned out like this. No. Even before the world turned out like this... I just drank, went around gambling. I was a rotten man. I ignored your mother's calls, only got angry. Truly...."
Kim Si-eun listened to Kim Ju-cheol's apology as if he didn't know what expression to make. It wasn't something to blame Kim Si-eun for. To him, Kim Ju-cheol was nothing more than someone he met for the first time today.
Seeing his son's face, Kim Ju-cheol couldn't help but shudder once more.
"This. This was hell."
"...."
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Si-eun. Dad is sorry."
The soccer player trapped in his prime kept repeating only words of apology, like a broken music box.
6
I don't want to speak at length about the aftermath of this story.
However, I believe readers now sufficiently understand why I disliked the ability [Time Seal] so much.
Honestly, I never wanted to deal with [Time Seal] forever. It was that much of a dark history. But on the other hand, I do feel relieved to finally confess my ability to you all now.
Yes. I sealed the time of not just Kim Ju-cheol, but countless people.
Back then, I thought it was right.
But looking back after years had passed, those people, and I as well, had given up on the world far too early, far too hastily.
The fact that I came to name my own biography a 'story of failure' was partly influenced by [Time Seal]. No matter how many times I repeated regression, there were simply too many people who could no longer meet any other ending.
"Something feels strange."
But even so, the survivors had to carry on living with the remaining connections.
Kim Si-eun, who came out of the stadium, kept looking back. The stadium, whose outer walls had been destroyed to reveal its insides, stood precariously far away.
"Do you think you came for nothing?"
"Eek. No! Absolutely not that. It's just, someone I can't even remember is crying saying they're my family, but I can't recall at all who that person is. Um. It feels strange."
Kim Si-eun adjusted his backpack with a heave.
"It just makes me think I should live diligently."
He leaned on his walking stick and bowed his head toward me.
"Anyway, thank you, hyung-nim! Thanks to you, I found my mother's hometown and met my father on this trip. The feeling is bittersweet, but it was meaningful."
"Where do you plan to go now?"
"I'm going to try to find passage to Japan somehow! By now I've been everywhere in the country."
"Japan."
Actually, in this day and age, Japan was hard to recommend as a light travel destination.
If someone asked me to name just the two most dangerous regions in the world excluding the Korean Peninsula, I would answer the Japanese archipelago and the Indian subcontinent without a moment's hesitation.
Because the beings worshipped as 'gods' in those parts had loved humans so much that they decided to personally take care of them. For reference, the genres those gods preferred most were #confinement #training #gore.
The whole world was equally dangerous, but those two regions were dangerous in a different sense. In terms of genre, you could understand it as the difference between apocalypse fiction and horror fiction.
But this was a story for a few years later. The Japanese archipelago was still relatively safe.
I didn't stop the young backpacker's spirit.
Instead, I gave this advice:
"If you hear strange sounds while walking, or see strange objects, or feel any strange sensations, don't try to identify them. Just put your palms together in greeting and then pretend you don't know anything and leave the area. Especially, never enter tunnels."
"...?"
"You'll probably stop by Fukuoka, but don't hang around with the provisional government people if you can help it... Well, anyway, remember this, and the day will come when you'll use it."
"Hmm. Yes! I understand!"
I didn't know what conclusion Kim Si-eun would reach after crossing over to Japan. Probably with high probability, he would meet a terrible end.
But I didn't particularly mind. From my perspective as a regressor, life wasn't a sports match where a whistle blows after 90 minutes, but rather closer to a journey that briefly stops at a station before stepping back on the rails and moving forward.
Unlike his father, he still had opportunities to travel toward other places.
"Let's meet again next time! Hyung-nim!"
For reference, I trusted Kim Ju-cheol's sincerity.
I didn't want to bother distorting the intention of a man who had murmured 'my son' even at the moment of disappearing from the world. I set aside for a moment the question of whether he was truly strong enough to keep that heart until the end.
If he had truly apologized for his son's sake, wouldn't he have surely been happy to see Kim Si-eun not being crushed by the past and heading toward a new destination?
Wouldn't he have blessed him?
Looking back once more, I could see the stadium with its collapsed outer walls.
-Gooooooal! Goal! Goal!
-Kim Ju-cheol! Kim Ju-cheol! Kim Ju-cheol!
There, a certain nameless soccer player now forgotten by the world was always playing. With his intact left leg. Receiving the crowd's cheers.
And he would forever be running to perform a ceremony toward his family.
- Father and Son. End.
An infinite regressor tells his story