“Bweeeehk!! *Cough, cough!!*”
“….”
I rubbed the back of my neck as I looked at Diamond, who was soaking the bedsheets with a flood of tears.
“Come on, stop crying. You’ll get the blankets all wet.”
“Hic, but… it’s because you said you won’t be my chef…!”
This had become quite the predicament.
If it had been a request to become her exclusive chef, I would have done my best to refuse amicably, but I never dreamed she would scream and cry loud enough to blow the roof off.
“Why on earth won’t you do it…?! *Hic!*”
I do understand how she feels.
In this world, I am someone without family or friends. On top of that, I live alone in a crumbling mansion, so she must have thought I would undoubtedly accept this offer.
‘But is this really something to get so broken up about?’
Of course, I’m glad she appreciates my desserts. There haven’t been many people who praised me so directly.
I wish it could have ended with such simple praise, but Diamond was showing a strangely obsessive attachment toward me.
“Heeuuk… *hic!*”
It even felt like I’d done something terrible, which left me feeling oddly guilty.
“I’m the one who actually got kidnapped here… Ah, don’t grab my pants. They’ll get stained with tears.”
“Uhehehk! Uheuk! Ueek!”
“Besides, your crying sounds filthy! What kind of animal is this?!”
It was impossible to imagine this as the crying of a noble young lady. Had she been like this since she was little?
I had followed her into the bedroom to calm her down, but if it was going to be like this, I should have just escaped.
“Wait, wait! I said don’t grab my pants! They’re getting wet from your tears spreading!”
“Gueeeuuk~! Keueeeuuk~!! Bweeeehk!”
“….”
The sight of a Champi—no, Diamond—committing an unspeakable disgrace with her face buried in my groin.
If anyone in the mansion saw this, I wouldn’t be able to live anymore. And I mean that literally.
“You’re her maid! Do something about her!”
I looked desperately at the maid called Ruri and pleaded for help, but—
“*Slurp*…”
She was enjoying her black tea peacefully without paying us any mind.
“Ah, did you call for me? I was testing the black tea teabags I found at Lord Jade’s residence, so I didn’t hear you very well.”
“This one’s out of her mind too.”
When exactly did she get into my house? The more I dug into this, the more my sentence seemed to lengthen.
“Ah, come to think of it, I found a curious book on your bookshelf. ‘Let’s Finish It in One Volume! 69 Correct Facts About Pregnancy and Childbirth’—”
“Don’t pay that too much mind.”
“Understood. Then how about this ‘Prenatal Class with the World’s Best Medical Team’?”
Why did she even bring that?
“…Once Lady Diamond starts crying, she doesn’t stop for five or six hours. Just throw in the towel and walk the path of an exclusive chef.”
To think I’d get a job just to avoid making a girl cry—if you only heard the words, it would be like a fairy tale.
Anyway, I needed to somehow deal with Diamond, who was clinging to my crotch and wouldn’t let go.
“Brilliant Aste Diamond!”
“……?”
When I called her full name, she barely came to her senses and looked up at me.
“Just stop crying for a moment. I’ll make you as many desserts as you want.”
“…Really?”
Now she finally understood. Though it felt less like a conversation and more like soothing a toddler.
“Cake too? Ice cream too? Muffins too? Pudding too? Cookies too? Tarts too? You’ll make all of them…?”
“Yeah. I’ll make cake, ice cream, muffins, pudding, and cookies.”
“You left out tarts!”
“Cake and ice cream… anyway, I’ll make all of them.”
I gently rubbed her back and spoke to her kindly.
Only then did Diamond wipe her tears and nod, looking finally satisfied.
“So let’s continue this talk later. Got it?”
“Okay…”
I was about to wrap up the conversation on a good note when Ruri suddenly cut in.
“My lady, your friend has come to visit.”
“…Who is it? *Hic!*”
At Maid Ruri’s words, Diamond answered, blowing her nose with a tissue.
Judging by her state, she wasn’t in the mood to meet a friend right now. I figured she’d politely send them away.
“Lady Amber is here. She is certainly your classmate—”
“Ah, Amber! Come to think of it, I’ve been wanting to invite her over!”
The moment Amber’s name came up, Diamond immediately threw the tissue she’d blown her nose on into the trash bin and replied with a bright expression.
She looked nothing like the person who had been foolishly clinging to me and bawling just moments ago.
*What the hell. Is she emotionally unstable?*
Anyway, it was quite unexpected that Amber had come here alone. I would have preferred they sent a Silver Bureau agent skilled in infiltration.
Since Amber said she was close to Diamond, it might be possible to resolve this through conversation, but…
*Isn’t this a bit reckless?*
If she handled this poorly, she might leak information about the Silver Bureau without realizing it.
As it was, the shoddy camouflage of the Gaia Foundation had already reached the ears of the next head of House Brilliant.
But Amber must have had her own thoughts on the matter. She might not be the brightest, but she wasn’t a child who couldn’t tell right from wrong.
“I’ll escort her here. Please wait a moment.”
About three minutes later, the savior who would extract me from this place appeared.
“Wow~ Diamond-chan’s house is so huge!”
“Amber, listen! No matter how much I offer him, he won’t come over!”
She sure knew how to distort a story. She had the talent of a news reporter.
Anyway, upon hearing those words, Amber smiled kindly and began to scold Diamond.
“You shouldn’t try to buy people with money. You have to consider other people’s feelings first, right?”
“Other people’s feelings… aren’t those still just money?”
“That’s because there are people who won’t be swayed by money. Like this older brother here.”
“Hmm, that’s difficult. I’ve never seen anyone who isn’t tempted by money before.”
She shook her head as if she truly couldn’t understand.
“Then Amber, convince him for me! You said you knew the coffee brewer, right?”
“Yes, I know him. But I think it will be a little difficult to convince him…”
“Ehh?! Why! Don’t tell me you’re after him too?”
“No. It’s not for that reason, it’s simply—”
Just as I was wondering if the situation was getting worse instead.
Suddenly, Amber crossed her arms and winked at me with a cute expression.
“To be honest, this guy is my boyfriend.”
…So that was an option.
***
Thanks to Amber’s help, I was able to safely escape the mansion, but—
“Wow~ I didn’t think we’d get past them by pretending to be a couple. Let’s hurry back and report to the boss.”
“Wait, don’t change the subject. Where do you think you’re going back to on your own?”
It didn’t work, huh.
“Anyway, you keep getting into dangerous situations every single time! What were you planning to do if I weren’t there?”
“Sorry!!”
I had no words to retort with, so I shouted at the maximum volume I could muster.
“No, apologizing in such a loud voice just makes it sound like you’re talking back…”
“Actually, I thought the same thing while I was shouting.”
It certainly wasn’t a proper attitude for an apology. Needlessly drawing aggro, pedestrians were staring at us from all around.
It was still 10 a.m. Despite causing such a commotion and making all sorts of desserts for Diamond, it hadn’t even passed noon yet.
“Haaaah… Fine, I’ll forgive you this time. Since it was just Diamond-chan arbitrarily kidnapping you.”
“That’s exactly what I’m saying.”
Honestly speaking, I was almost entirely blameless this time. I’d come to my senses already confined in that mansion.
“…You won’t get kidnapped again, right?”
She wouldn’t calm down even after eating her fill of desserts, so I compromised by giving her priority rights at Cafe Eclipse for now.
Even when I tried to give her the recipe, she threw a fit saying she didn’t want any other chef.
But she might change her mind again before long. I needed to solve the fundamental problem somehow.
“I’m tired of this lifestyle too. Needless attention just doesn’t suit me.”
This time, she was at least a docile young lady, so there was no serious trouble, but there was no guarantee my life would be spared next time.
I had to somehow end this trend and gradually reduce the attention on me.
“But do you have a good method? It’s not like you can close the shop.”
“Well, the only way to cover a trend is with another trend.”
Trends rise to become the talk of the masses at absurd speeds, but if the firewood runs out while the flames are hot, they die down just as quickly.
This unprecedented teatime trend that I unintentionally spread was ultimately caused by the celebrity Diamond.
So by setting her against a celebrity who surpasses her, I could easily resolve this.
*I hadn’t really wanted to borrow her power, but…*
What was done was done. And I’d wanted to have a calm conversation with her someday anyway.
I picked up my smartphone and entered a contact into the touchscreen.
It was a number I had kept memorized ever since borrowing Sophia’s phone that one time.
The contact information of humanity’s hope—Magical Girl Ruby, known by every soul in the world.