Honestly, at first, the feeling was pretty good.
Unlike how tense I was, my body didn't tremble and played its part properly.
'This time, I even have a cheat sheet.'
The commercial I saw in my past life came to mind with astonishing clarity.
The acting Kim Jungha had done back then, and the performance of the child actress Lee Jiyeon at the time, surfaced as if etched onto my retinas.
I can do this.
This should be no problem.
That's what I optimistically thought, but.
'……Something feels off.'
The girl caught on camera is uncharacteristically very bubbly and full of life.
However, 'Joo Seoyeon' was still visible.
This means my RP.
In other words, it meant I hadn't acted properly.
'What's the problem?'
Honestly, even thinking carefully, I couldn't know.
I've never learned acting, and stretching along with children's exercise shows while watching kids' broadcasts was all I've done.
I've acted out characters in my delusions, but I've never filmed and checked like this before.
"Hmm……."
Director Jo Mintaee also had a worried face.
"Actually, it's fine to just go with this."
He responded to my words asking to film again.
"To be honest, there isn't a glaring problem. Right?"
"Ah, yes."
"I honestly don't really know what the problem is."
"It's just, a sense of incongruity…… I feel like there is."
It was a word someone among the staff blurted out without much thought, but it struck my chest.
Sense of incongruity.
'Right, that's it. There's a sense of incongruity.'
Why is that?
As I continued to stare at the video, someone tapped my shoulder.
"Kim Jungha sunbaenim?"
"That…… you know."
She looked hesitant to speak or not.
It was an attitude like 'does someone like me even have the right to say this.'
Indeed, some staff members shook their heads looking at Kim Jungha.
This acting was good, but it was probably because she had been showing poor performances all this while.
It must have looked like she was giving advice acting all high and mighty when she had only done well once.
But I know.
Kim Jungha is a future ten-million actress.
She was an actress with talent recognized by ten million audience members.
"Kim Jungha sunbaenim."
"……Yeah?"
"I've never properly learned acting."
At my words, Kim Jungha blinked her eyes.
When I saw those eyes directed at me, she might have taken it as me acting arrogant.
"So, naturally, there are many lacking parts. If there's anything strange, I'd really appreciate it if you pointed it out."
There's something I felt while working in the office.
If you don't know, you can just ask.
That saying doesn't really apply in workplace life.
If you don't know, put in the effort to find out yourself.
That was the words I heard the most from that Section Chief Kim bastard.
'However, the Kim Jungha in front of me isn't Section Chief Kim.'
Well, they do share the same surname Kim, but at least Kim Jungha isn't someone who returns questions with yelling.
Even though she's a bit timid, she tried to tell me something.
She's not stupid.
Given that she hasn't been acting well, she must know that speaking up first would only earn her ridicule.
Nevertheless.
Even so.
She tried to tell me.
So, I wanted to hear that answer.
"……This is, really. Just my personal thought."
Perhaps my words worked, Kim Jungha stuttered.
"Seoyeon's emotional acting is really good. Even though she's still young, it's amazing. Honestly, I can't even imitate it."
She pointed at the playing video with a trembling hand.
"But, emotional acting alone can't convey everything on a small TV screen."
At her words, I opened my eyes wide.
'Ah.'
That's it.
I understood what she was trying to say.
Jo Mintaee also let out a small exclamation at Kim Jungha's words.
"Ah, right. Yes, that's the feeling. Seoyeon sshi, you said you've never learned acting?"
"……Yes."
"I see. Never learned. That's why it shows like this here."
Those words made me feel a bit ashamed.
I felt like an ignoramus who just dove in without any training.
'Acting isn't just about emotional acting.'
And, honestly, the emotional acting that everyone admires doesn't really resonate with me.
Is it because I'm the person herself?
Or is there a problem with me?
But I could understand the problem.
'Gestures.'
Acting isn't solved by emotion alone.
The tone of the lines, the intonation.
The actions and movements connected to them.
All of that is expressed comprehensively as acting.
I had only acted through emotion and the movements remaining in my memory.
And those movements were, ultimately, those of the child actress from my past life, Lee Jiyeon.
It was natural that they wouldn't fit me.
If viewed separately, it would look like skillful acting, but it wasn't perfectly my acting.
'However.'
I hadn't really done much physical acting.
"……If it's okay with you, would you like me to teach you a bit? I'm, at least, a bit…… confident in this."
Kim Jungha said, faltering.
These were the words of ten-million actress Kim Jungha.
It was an offer I should naturally accept.
"Of course. Rather, I'd really appreciate it if you taught me."
Emotional acting becomes the most powerful weapon on the screen.
Because the screen that fills the field of view, along with the voice and music, moves people's emotions the most.
But if you watch on a TV or a small computer screen, the impact is significantly less than on the big screen.
So, what compensates for that is 'visual acting.'
"So, here you do it like this……."
Even though filming resumed, the staff didn't voice any complaints.
They just quietly watched Kim Jungha teaching me various movements, and me.
Like that, one hour.
Two hours.
"Alright, then we'll start filming again!"
Only when it was around evening did filming finally restart.
Standing on the set again with Kim Jungha, somehow my body trembled.
Tension. And anxiety.
Emotions I hadn't felt during the audition overwhelmed me.
'Can I do it?'
I don't know.
Honestly, what I just learned doesn't even count as basics.
It was just patchwork, a temporary fix for this CF.
'Still.'
I look at the camera.
I saw Director Jo Mintaee moving his lips to give the cue sign.
And.
"……Director Jo."
"Yes?"
"This seems like too much of an advantage for the sponsor, doesn't it? Seriously, this is ridiculous."
My first shoot ended like that.
***
"Hmph, Mom said I was going to pass!"
"J, Jiyeon. You don't need to worry too much. That's not the only audition anyway."
"But still~~!"
Hong Jinhee let out a sigh at the sight of her daughter, whose confidence had completely died since failing the audition.
It had already been several months.
'Haa, just who passed that audition anyway.'
Hong Jinhee grumbled like that, but inwardly had a hunch about a certain child.
The child who was sitting there indifferently back then.
The child who was quietly by herself even though all the other kids were nervous came to mind.
'It's definitely her. It must have been pre-selected.'
That's why she wasn't even nervous.
'I've heard such cases exist occasionally……, haa, how frustrating.'
There were cases where they pre-selected someone and still held auditions.
Hong Jinhee thought her daughter had definitely failed for that reason.
Her face was a bit.
No…… a very cute child, so she must have passed on looks alone!
Hong Jinhee thought so and comforted her daughter.
"My pretty daughter. You'll be going to kindergarten soon, so stop crying right now!"
"Hmph."
"Okay, it's time for the BingBingPing that our Jiyeon likes."
Beep, she turned on the TV to soothe the child.
Thinking how amazing her daughter was for whining every time she remembered what happened months ago.
"Huh?"
While waiting for BingBingPing to air.
A commercial came on.
"Mom."
"Yeah?"
"I think I've seen her before."
Hong Jinhee nodded at her daughter's words.
She was thinking the exact same thing at that moment.
It was a soy milk commercial.
A soy milk commercial from a new brand she had never heard of.
"Older sister! Is this milk?"
It started with a girl with long black hair whining.
Then, a woman with a lively impression came out and wagged her finger.
"No way~. It's soy milk that older sister bought for her younger sibling."
"Soy milk?"
The girl held the soy milk in her hand, squeezed her eyes shut, and sucked hard on the straw.
Glancing at her older sister was incredibly cute.
"Wow! It's sweet!"
Then, the colors changed and the girl's face brightened up radiantly.
Bouncing around lively, her walking made it impossible to take your eyes off the child's cuteness.
In the brightened colors, she hopped around brightly and lightly.
In between, the benefits of soy milk appeared naturally, and the face of the girl deliciously drinking it was shown in close-up.
Boom!
A commercial with very strong colors that could easily seem distracting.
But, the starring woman and the young girl didn't feel that way at all.
Arms moving lightly.
The steps of the girl spinning round and round arm in arm with her older sister.
'Clear Beans, Pure Soy Milk,' those words stamped firmly at the end.
"Mom."
When she came to her senses, her daughter Jiyeon was tugging at her collar.
Seeing the child's pouty face, she must have been calling her for a while.
'So this is why.'
Hong Jinhee thought.
If her daughter had been in that spot.
'This is why she didn't pass.'
She loved her daughter dearly, but she felt her daughter couldn't do it like that child.
***
I was extremely tired.
It was because Mom had dragged me out early in the morning.
"Mom, I have low blood pressure……."
"My, what are you talking about. Seoyeon doesn't have such a thing."
Well, that's true.
In my past life, I had terrible low blood pressure, so I didn't really like moving in the morning.
"And Seoyeon, you'll be going to kindergarten soon, so you need to get into the habit of waking up early."
"Kindergarten……."
Just hearing the name made me not want to go there at all.
How useless and annoying a place it is.
Joo Seoyeon, six years old.
It's the time when I'm slowly hoping time passes quickly.
It would be more fun if I could at least relive high school life.
Kindergarten is a bit much.
"Mom, you don't need to rush so much."
Anyway, I rubbed my eyes and said that to Mom.
Mom, Sooa, frowned at my words as if asking what I was talking about.
"I was originally planning to come out even earlier. If our pretty daughter hadn't been sleeping soundly until the sun was high in the sky."
"……."
Um, well. I could understand Mom nagging like this.
She had been in this state since yesterday.
'Precisely, since yesterday, after watching the CF.'
Yesterday was the first broadcast day of the CF filmed a few months ago.
Mom, who had been waiting in advance, even recorded it and meticulously preserved that record.
She even hugged me tight saying our daughter is a genius, and I almost suffocated in her large chest.
'There should be plenty left anyway.'
The soy milk from Garam Dream, 'Clear Beans, Pure Soy Milk,' was just a moderately selling product.
Originally, it was a product that sold as clearance, but with the commercial Kim Jungha filmed, it sold at an average level.
'In the first place, how much soy milk could people even buy.'
Moreover, since the neighborhood mart was quite large, the quantity should be plentiful.
That's what I thought, but.
"……They're all sold out?"
"Not just all sold out, they went out in the morning. If I knew this would happen, I should have stocked more."
At the words of the mart lady speaking regretfully, Mom's eyes turned to me.
With a gaze full of deep resentment, I quietly turned my head away.
I never dreamed in my wildest dreams that they would sell out.