Ever since I was young, I always thought about it.
From the day I saw that acting, I wanted to perform like that someday.
Whether it was jealousy or admiration, even I don't know.
...To be honest, it was closer to admiration.
When I was young, Joo Seoyeon was truly amazing, so I couldn't even dare to think of chasing after her.
When she went into hiding, I couldn't understand it, and I pressured her many times to come back.
After entering puberty, I came to understand the reason to some extent, but before that, we almost fought over it many times.
That's how special Seoyeon's acting was to Jiyeon.
"If it's hard, you can do it next time. There's no rush."
Jo Seohee said that.
Filming without Joo Seoyeon was really harder than expected, and the staff were full of exhaustion.
She couldn't even film in one take without NGs.
She had to film repeatedly several times before finally getting a decent scene.
But.
"It's okay."
Rather, now that filming had grown longer, she felt she could do it.
She felt she could be more honest with herself and reveal this emotion.
"I'll try."
Joo Seoyeon probably doesn't know.
Ever since she was young, Jiyeon's goal was to perform the same kind of acting as Seoyeon.
'...Of course, if Joo Seoyeon knew, she'd probably look at me with a smug face.'
Since she didn't really like that, she had no intention of mentioning it.
But it's an undeniable truth.
She wants to act like her.
Acting like starlight that moves everyone.
Because that has been her cherished dream since childhood.
***
"I've always thought I envied you, miss."
Stopping Michiko from committing suicide, after a brief struggle, Yeon Seonye pinned both of her arms against the wall.
If she didn't do this, Michiko would try to jump out the window at any moment.
"Such a grand mansion. Whatever the miss wants to do, the maids become your hands and feet. How wonderful."
She had no money and struggled constantly to pay for her younger sibling's treatment, but such a fortune was mere pocket change to Michiko.
That gap.
Yeon Seonye had secretly been jealous of that difference she could never even dream of reaching.
No, she was angry.
"To have so much, what could be so unfortunate that you wear such an expression of death?"
The audience held their breath at that voice filled with anger.
It felt as if Yeon Seonye's emotions transcended the screen.
It wasn't concern for Michiko.
Jealousy—vivid, palpable jealousy could be felt.
Jiyeon glanced at Seoyeon sitting beside her.
She was a little worried about what reaction Seoyeon might show.
'She's probably seen that face before.'
"I wanted it so desperately, yet you treat it as if it's nothing."
Yeon Seonye's cry was similar to words she had once said to Seoyeon.
She thought her actual emotions from that time were somewhat mixed in.
"If only these things had been given to me instead, how wonderful would it have been. I thought that countless times."
No matter how much she acts, it doesn't work.
She can't do it.
Blocked by a wall, the things she wants to do can never be grasped no matter how hard she tries.
"Do you know, miss? The feeling of watching your younger sibling die because you have no money and being able to do nothing but watch!!"
Yet, someone who has everything does nothing.
Surely she could do so many things.
Surely she could easily obtain what I cannot.
"I hated that so much."
As Yeon Seonye said that, her eyes reddened and a single tear rolled down.
Just like back then.
So angry.
So unfair.
So pathetic about herself.
"That powerlessness."
So, she ran away.
Just like Yeon Seonye.
Jiyeon tried hard to avert her eyes.
What she couldn't do, she kept telling herself it was impossible from the start.
There's no point in desperately chasing starlight.
A small flame can never become a star.
People have something called talent, and unreasonably, it makes it so you can never grasp what you truly want to do.
Occasionally, there are blessed people whose desires align with their talent, but at the very least, she wasn't one of them.
If Seoyeon's acting is shimmering starlight, then her own acting would be, at best, a candle illuminating a small room.
That's why she hated Seoyeon, who had it but did nothing.
For a very brief moment, truly.
Why does she have the talent she so desperately wants, yet does nothing?
If only she had that talent instead, how wonderful would it have been.
Countlessly, truly countlessly, she had such thoughts.
Funnily enough.
"I've never been in the miss's position, though."
At Yeon Seonye's face with tears falling drop by drop, Michiko was momentarily unable to say anything.
It wasn't simply jealousy.
Hatred.
It wasn't because of such emotions.
Yeon Seonye's emotions revealed self-contempt more than any other feeling.
Contempt for her foolish self who could only feel jealousy.
"Of course, I still want to become someone like you, miss."
She's still envious.
Envious, but she came to understand the pain she carried.
Why she wears such an expression.
Why she can do nothing but stand still.
She came to understand by watching her continuously.
"But, I no longer think I envy you, miss."
Michiko was alone.
From the moment her parents disappeared, she was always alone.
There was no one who treated her sincerely.
She simply lived in solitude all along.
No matter how much money she had, there was no one to boast to.
There was nothing she wanted to buy, nothing she wanted to have.
No matter how much money she had, it was meaningless.
Even if she dressed beautifully, what returned were only empty compliments from the servants.
No one ever tried to approach her sincerely.
Loneliness.
Yeon Seonye now understands that.
"I'll stay by your side."
Holding Michiko's hand, Yeon Seonye speaks.
"By becoming your family."
While searching Michiko's room for the necklace's whereabouts, Yeon Seonye happened to discover a photo of Michiko.
A photo taken with her family when she was young.
In the photo, Michiko was smiling brightly.
Unlike now.
"So, don't say you'll die."
Because she, at least, would treat Michiko sincerely.
That heartfelt words spread through the screen.
Everyone in the audience was immersed in the screen, unable to take their eyes off it.
As if they were all wearing the same mask.
Only Jiyeon couldn't immerse herself in this scene.
From nervousness.
She isn't strong like Seoyeon.
She can't be composed in everything like Jo Seohee.
Just an ordinary person.
A seventeen-year-old girl trembling in this seat where she would hear everyone's evaluation.
Scared.
Afraid.
Many emotions swirling, appearing as trembling hands.
Ever since she was young, her hands would tremble like this when she became anxious.
Then, a poke at her side.
She felt delicate fingers touch her.
Momentarily, she almost jumped in surprise.
Looking to the side, she felt Seoyeon watching her.
Yeon Seonye and Michiko's acting.
The moment the audience was entranced.
When everyone had their eyes fixed on the screen.
Seoyeon's eyes curved gently as she looked at Jiyeon.
As Jiyeon's gaze was captivated by those eyes.
Seoyeon moved her fingers on the back of Jiyeon's trembling hand.
Wondering what she was doing suddenly, Jiyeon realized the movement was writing letters.
'Amazing.'
Just three letters.
When she looked at Seoyeon with wide eyes at those words, Seoyeon smiled as if proud.
In that moment, at that smile, Jiyeon felt an indescribable overwhelming emotion surge through her.
Emotions buried by tension, fear, and terror felt like they were rushing back with a small trigger.
Seoyeon was always her goal.
But that didn't mean she wanted to become like Seoyeon.
Jiyeon wanted to stand on equal footing with Seoyeon.
Like Jo Seohee.
Or like Stella.
She thought it was the vain greed of an ordinary person, but right now, it felt like she had chased up to that boundary.
Seoyeon's index finger slowly lifting from the back of her hand.
Seeing that, Jiyeon reflexively grabbed it.
Even she was flustered by her own action, but somehow she couldn't easily let go.
At that action, Seoyeon's eyes widened briefly.
But seeing Jiyeon's trembling hand, she merely smiled with a slightly troubled expression.
As if saying it couldn't be helped.
As she held Seoyeon's index finger with her own, she felt the trembling in her hands gradually subside.
At the same time, as Jiyeon and Seoyeon's eyes met, they both unknowingly burst into laughter.
It was because they both felt their appearances were rather comical.
And, without needing to say who went first, they turned their gazes back to the screen.
The movie was at its climax, but it wasn't over yet.
***
It was when the ending credits rolled that critic Kang Yuseok came to his senses.
At some point, he had lost himself and immersed completely in the movie.
Unlike himself.
He was someone who always had to watch movies with a critical eye, but today he couldn't do that.
He had no choice but to immerse himself with the pure gaze of an audience member.
Since when was that?
'When Yeon Seonye started her conflict?'
Or when Yuina's emotions changed?
When Michiko decided to commit suicide?
He couldn't quite remember since when.
That's how much he 'enjoyed' the movie.
Especially the climax, the conversation scene between Yeon Seonye and Michiko.
The argument that broke out as Yeon Seonye stopped Michiko's suicide.
The exchange of emotions.
'I thought it was acting without presence.'
Boring for a lead role.
She was just a newcomer who had only appeared in cable dramas, so it couldn't be helped.
That's what he thought, but it was completely different.
Yeon Seonye in the latter half never fell behind the other actors.
In terms of time, it really wasn't long.
Maybe 10 minutes? Or 20?
But that was the climax of the movie.
Those 20 minutes she was perfectly the protagonist.
She received more gazes than any other actor in this work.
"...Hey, you said it would be fun this time."
Critic Lee Seokhun, who came with him, shrugged his shoulders unnecessarily and said.
He had a very satisfied face because a movie by his favorite director turned out well.
"Indeed. I was wrong this time."
It was a pleasant mistake.
This year truly saw a flood of high-quality movies.
And this was a film without any shortcomings to cap it all off.
So much that one could forget the prejudice of it being a homosexual film.
'I want to write the review quickly.'
It had been a really long time.
Since a movie made him feel this way.
Everything was satisfactory.
From the protagonist Yeon Seonye, to Jo Seohee and Joo Seoyeon.
Even the acting of Stella, who made a cameo, how was that?
Thinking it was a cameo, she'd only appear for a few seconds or minutes, but her weight was at the level of a decent supporting role.
How on earth did such an actress end up appearing in
Really, did she have a friendship with actor Joo Seoyeon?
'Actor Joo Seoyeon...'
The most talked-about actor this year.
He watched
Yuina's emotional line.
Her back as she affectionately let the two go at the end was still vivid in his eyes.
The acting that revealed the emotions of a girl with unrequited love was so good that sighs of regret erupted from the audience.
Michiko and Yeon Seonye were really good.
But the relationship between Yuina and Yeon Seonye was also undeniably good.
'I'm looking forward to it.'
When this work is released, what kind of reaction will occur.
They said it was a simultaneous release in Japan.
Indeed, it wasn't for nothing that Japan showed interest in this film.
Critic Kang Yuseok thought so.
***
In all sorts of movie communities,
A film by director Baek Min, famous for artistry.
A film starring the recently talked-about Joo Seoyeon.
Jo Seohee took the lead role, but the protagonist was played by an unknown actor.
So, there were many people who found the casting strange.
Jo Seohee and Joo Seoyeon are appearing together, but the protagonist is a different actor?
Such reactions.
Even the rumor that Stella would make a cameo.
The rumor that it was actor Lee Sangsoo's comeback work.
Since it was a film that carried all sorts of topics, attention was focused on the preview evaluation.
And, today.
The evening the preview was revealed.
A famous movie YouTuber's broadcast started.
"Ah, I'm telling you, this is definitely a hit. Wow, how should I put this... if it goes well, couldn't it hit ten million?"
- What homosexual movie hits ten million lol
- Bongsik, you're going too far lol lol
"What are you saying! Hasn't there already been a homosexual film that hit ten million in our country?"
- That was an exception lol
- The actors' acting was insane
"It's really frustrating that I can't tell you the details. You really just have to watch it once. When the movie opens, I'll do a proper review then. You can just say, 'Wow, Bongsik is a movie expert,' then."
- Overreacting is truly #1 lol lol
- But if Bongsik doesn't find it fun, he really wouldn't go this far
- The preview was really okay?
- With Joo Seoyeon and Jo Seohee lol lol honestly the box office is guaranteed
"No, these two actors, Joo Seoyeon and Jo Seohee, were amazing too..."
Han Bongsik stopped speaking there.
For this part, it was better to see it directly than to explain.
"First, please make sure to watch it on opening day. Really."
He said in a rarely serious tone.
Because not watching this felt like a loss in life somehow.
***
Seoyeon didn't have many thoughts about this movie preview.
Originally, since Yuina had no explicit scenes, she didn't have many thoughts about it.
So when the reviews were actually released, she felt she had done something unfair to Lee Jiyeon.
Unlike herself, Lee Jiyeon had... somewhat intimate scenes with Jo Seohee in the movie.
'I almost thought of that scene again.'
Still, when watching it on the screen, since she had already seen it once, it was a bit better.
She almost collapsed at the screen otherwise.
It was a good thing she saw it beforehand.
Thinking such thoughts, she entered the classroom.
"......?"
However, not long after entering the classroom, Seoyeon felt a subtly different atmosphere than usual.
The gazes looking at her were quite piercing.