What must it have been like for the very first person to see the sea?
I'm not quite sure.
But I think it might have been similar to the feeling I felt when I faced my own emotions.
The sea seen from afar is simply a beautiful, blue, and clear unknown.
For me, emotions were no different.
To my past self, emotions were 'a certain something'.
Of course, I don't think my past self was miserable for not feeling emotions at all.
It was simply an illness, just one form of difference.
Because I wasn't used to it, because I didn't feel the need for it.
Or perhaps, I think I avoided it because I didn't feel the need to change.
But isn't that how it is?
Just because a person wants to avoid emotions, just because they don't want to feel them, doesn't mean they can't.
Naturally, as humans, they are bound to express them as a matter of course.
So, at some point, I too was naturally approaching my emotions.
One step, then another.
And then, the seawater washing up on the shore soaked my ankles.
It was so cold and unfamiliar.
I'm still not used to it, but by persistently repeating it, I've come to understand it a little.
My reflection in the water.
"Well then, let's check it out."
At Director Kong Jung-tae's words, I swallowed dryly.
My heart pounded.
Until now, I had never felt afraid when checking my acting.
It was everyday life to me, it was natural.
Even if everyone applauded my acting, it was ultimately acting that a child shouldn't be able to show.
They were merely applauding the emulation of emotions close to reality.
Acting.
Yes, looking back, that too was acting.
Since my past life, I had acted out the characters others wanted.
But that was it.
For a veteran actor, or an actor who could show more, these were things they could already naturally do.
I could simply fabricate it effortlessly, like a habit.
So it was as natural as breathing, and held no specialness.
Nor did I feel any sense of accomplishment.
"Queen Dowager!!"
Hearing my own voice, unfamiliar yet familiar, the acting began.
I watched it, forgetting even to blink.
No, I wasn't the only one.
Director Kong Jung-tae, the staff.
And Actor Yoon Jong-hyuk, and Actress Jung Eun-sun.
All watched my acting from their seats.
Until the very last moment, when Princess Yeonhwa left the room and the door closed.
"Wow."
As soon as the video ended, Camera Director Heo Jung-soo let out an exclamation of admiration.
"We filmed it, but it's really amazing. Look here, I also..."
"That's true. The movement of light at the moment Seo-yeon raises her head is really good."
The originally bright light momentarily dimmed at the instant Seo-yeon raised her head.
Because of that, Seo-yeon's red eyes appeared even more vividly.
This part was slightly different from the composition Director Kong Jung-tae had initially requested.
It could be called a sensory ad-lib by Camera Director Heo Jung-soo.
"...But was this reflected by an oil lamp? No, if someone saw it, they'd think CG was applied."
Director Kong Jung-tae said so and examined my eyes.
Unlike in the video, my pupils right now were closer to brown with a reddish tint.
Thanks to that, Director Kong Jung-tae looked at my face with a puzzled expression, then soon smirked.
It seemed my face looked different from usual.
"Miss Seo-yeon."
"Yes?"
"Do you think it came out well?"
At his question, I hesitated for a moment before answering.
What should I say?
I recalled the video I had just watched.
Memories of the hardships over several days to shoot that single scene came to mind.
I could also feel the stinging wound on my palm.
But, this is.
Not an aquarium, but stepping forward while soaking my ankles in seawater.
It was my first footprint deeply engraved on the beach.
"Yes."
I think this was probably the first time I realized.
That when something is so overwhelmingly joyful, you end up smiling without realizing it.
Which my past self could never have known.
This intense emotion felt by the 7-year-old Joo Seo-yeon.
"It really seems like it came out well."
Perhaps, at this moment, I was smiling like a child my age.
Surely.
***
After that day's filming, as expected, I was bedridden for a full ten days.
I'm not sure if it was due to the excessive emotional acting, or the physical abuse over the past few days.
My body, vulnerable to stress in many ways, languished as expected, and by the time two weeks had passed, I had fully recovered.
It seems even this sturdy body I gained upon being reborn has its limits.
"They say since Seo-yeon's portions were filmed in advance, it's fine to get plenty of rest for a while."
Mom told me this as if telling me not to worry.
The deadline was plenty loose anyway, and since I had been filming hard for a while, there wouldn't be any particular issues.
In fact, I had enough leeway to rest for another week.
'Everyone worries too much.'
That thought crossed my mind, but come to think of it, it was only natural.
I was only seven years old.
Considering how other kids behave, this side was the abnormal one.
'But if deep emotional acting is like this now, puberty might be a bit difficult.'
This is a problem I can't control.
I'm already struggling as it is; wouldn't it honestly be difficult during puberty when hormones are imbalanced?
There's the influence of my past life, among other things.
Of course, since I'm in a child's body right now, I don't think it'll be much different.
"Joo Seo-yeon, you came today? Why did you come?"
"It sounds like I shouldn't have come."
Holding my mother's hand, I arrived at the kindergarten.
What greeted me at the place I visited after exactly ten days was a strangely pouty Lee Ji-yeon.
"You want to be the princess too, right?"
For a moment, I wondered what this kid was talking about again, but I could only understand the reason once we went inside the kindergarten.
Come to think of it, there were about two weeks left until the kindergarten recital.
So the teachers of each class were preparing plays or dances and such with the children.
And this wasn't something to scoff at just because it was a kindergarten recital; lately, they've been held quite grandly.
First of all, all parents participated, and it was often held by renting out an auditorium.
"Alright then, raise your hand if there's a role you want!"
Min-a, the teacher of the Sun Class, said to the children.
Of course, her gaze glanced at Lee Ji-yeon.
And then glanced at me.
'A play is too obvious.'
I had expected it, but what the Sun Class was preparing was a play.
And a common one at that: Snow White.
I thought it would have been nicer if it were a bit more creative, but considering it, this is probably the norm.
The important thing was that, given it was a 'play', I could feel a strong resolve to take first place in the recital.
"You know what? Joo Seo-yeon?"
"Can't you just call me by my name normally?"
When calling me, Lee Ji-yeon always firmly attached my surname.
She said it sticks to her mouth better.
"Actually, my mom said. In plays like this, it's the parents who are overly zealous."
Where did she hear such things again?
Come to think of it, it's only natural.
Everyone would want their son or daughter to be the princess or the prince.
So they say there are quite a few parents who say they dislike plays with fixed roles.
For reference, Lee Ji-yeon told me all of this.
Sometimes I wonder what on earth Ji-yeon's mother says to her young daughter in daily life.
"Hmm, well. I'll take the leftover role."
"Really?"
At my answer, Lee Ji-yeon smiled as if she were delighted.
She always has quite the greed for the lead role.
Anyway, since I stayed still, Snow White naturally went to Lee Ji-yeon.
Originally, children tend to shy away from lead roles that have lots of lines and carry pressure.
Of course, there were kids who wanted it, but they couldn't dare to go against Lee Ji-yeon.
It could truly be called Lee Ji-yeon Unrivaled.
"Um, Seo-yeon. Do you have any thoughts on doing another role?"
"No. There aren't really any other roles left."
"I see..."
Teacher Min-a made a regretful voice towards me, who took the leftover role.
Even so, it's a kids' play, isn't it a bit much for me to step forward?
Well, I am a kid too.
My parents would have wanted to see me shine too...
'Umm...'
Still, it's not like the role I got was a simple extra.
It was a fairly proper role.
None other than the Queen's 'Magic Mirror'.
A role no child dared to touch.
'The face doesn't even appear, but there are quite a lot of lines.'
Is there any other role as disliked as this?
The seven dwarves at least make a proper appearance.
'Well, anyway, let's do my best.'
Come to think of it, isn't this mirror role in a similar position to a VTuber?
It's just that the Queen didn't throw enough Super Chats.
Just because I got serious about acting didn't mean my will to become a VTuber had diminished.
Rather, I was just agonizing deeply over how I could tie it together with being an actor.
Anyway, as the recital approached.
The final filming of my 'The Sun Hidden by the Moon' began.
***
The Sun Hidden by the Moon.
A fictional historical drama prepared by KMB.
At first, the evaluation was just that it seemed to be a historical drama targeting the younger demographic with considerable capital invested.
However, since the making film was released, its topicality had increased in many ways.
"Director Kong, Seo-yeon's filming was all finished yesterday, right?"
Ha Tae-oh, the planning producer of The Sun Hidden by the Moon, said to Director Kong Jung-tae.
Before today's meeting, he had a lot he wanted to say in many ways.
"I saw the footage, Miss Seo-yeon. It's true that this is her first time filming a drama, right?"
"Yes, that's what they said."
Ha Tae-oh recalled the footage he received yesterday.
Raw footage that hadn't been properly edited nor had any music inserted.
Even so, Ha Tae-oh watched the footage as if drawn in without realizing it.
Of course, it wasn't just Seo-yeon.
Rather, the acting of Yoon Jong-hyuk, who played the role of Grand Prince Jo Young, stood out the most.
It was acting that made the phrase 'A master of villain acting!' come out naturally.
"Yet she didn't fall far behind Actor Yoon Jong-hyuk... No. In certain scenes, there were parts that were even more intense. Only for a very brief moment, though."
Seo-yeon's eyes as she first raised her head.
Ha Tae-oh still couldn't forget that sight.
What would happen if editing and sound were added to that?
Just thinking about it gave him a thrill.
"And on top of that... You filmed that yesterday, right?"
"That's right. Isn't that also excellent?"
"Wow, really, you can't look down on child actors these days. As expected of Actor Park Sun-woong's son. Ah, of course... Miss Seo-yeon goes without saying."
Ha Tae-oh's voice was rarely this excited.
Thanks to that, Kong Jung-tae let out a snort of laughter without realizing it.
Well, seeing that acting, it couldn't be helped.
Park Jung-woo, who had been called an acting genius since he was young, how surprised he must have been.
The sight of him screaming and acting was quite a spectacle.
"The scene where the young Princess Yeonhwa appears for the last time is S#32, right?"
"Yes."
"Hmm."
Ha Tae-oh recalled the footage he saw yesterday and twitched his lips.
It was a smile holding back a laugh.
Sometimes there is.
A vague sense.
A feeling that it will unconditionally succeed.
This time, it was exactly that for Ha Tae-oh.
"Miss Seo-yeon, you're going to get very busy."
If they saw Seo-yeon's last acting, anyone would want to seek out that child.