“Analyze status.”
[Name: Karl von Dietrich]
[Status: Relief at having escaped by a hair’s breadth, evaluation of Max Jäger currently soaring through the ceiling]
[Name: Helga von Strauss]
[Status: Cognitive dissonance with the common sense she once knew]
[Emotion: Sense of defeat felt as a perfectionist, deep recognition of and curiosity toward Max Jäger]
[Name: Hermann]
[Emotion: Awe toward Max Jäger]
“Perfect.”
I cheered inwardly. The regimental commander now saw me as a treasure he could not afford to lose, and his fastidious adjutant had acknowledged me in a major way. As for the quartermaster, he was practically my loyal dog now.
With this, my standing within the regiment had risen by one level—no, by two.
“…It’s finished.”
I said so as I closed the last file. For a moment, silence settled over the conference room. Outside the window, dawn was already breaking in a bluish hue.
“This is… truly all done?”
The regimental commander picked up the stack of documents with trembling hands. The ledgers that had been full of holes only a few hours ago had now been reborn as the most exemplary casebook in the Empire.
“It is perfect, Colonel.”
Major Helga added in a voice far softer than usual.
“After reviewing it, I can say there is nothing even a legal officer could find fault with. Every expenditure and every consumption record clearly cites the relevant regulations and precedents.”
“Ha, hahahaha…!”
Laughter burst from the regimental commander’s mouth. He sprang up from his seat and strode over to me. Then he seized both my hands.
“Max! You saved me! No, you saved our 7th Regiment!”
His eyes were moist with emotion.
“In my thirty years of military service, I have never seen an officer as versatile as you. You are a hero on the battlefield, but you are a hero at the desk as well!”
“You flatter me, sir. I merely wished to protect your honor, Colonel.”
I bowed my head at an appropriate angle and offered some lip service.
“Sergeant Hermann!”
“Yes, Colonel!”
“Compare these documents against the originals and organize them immediately! If even a single letter is wrong, I’ll kill you!”
“Do not worry, sir! I will stake my life on handling them perfectly!”
Hermann hugged the pile of documents like a treasure chest and began pounding away at the typewriter with ferocious momentum.
*
Nine in the morning.
When the appointed hour arrived, the conference room door flew open. Lieutenant Colonel Zwinger entered, and two or three inspectors followed behind him. Their expressions gleamed like hyenas before their prey.
“Good morning, Colonel. Did you sleep well?”
Zwinger sat down with a leisurely smile. Seeing our hollow eyes, he seemed certain of his victory.
“Now then, shall we begin? First, the ammunition consumption ledger and the food requisition records…”
“Here they are.”
At the regimental commander’s jerk of the chin, Sergeant Hermann set a thick file down with a thud in front of Zwinger.
“Hm, let’s see how well you managed to match things up…”
Zwinger opened the file with a sneer. His fingers rapidly flipped through the pages. At first, his hand moved as though he found it laughable, but gradually it began to slow.
Rustle. Rustle.
A crease formed between his brows.
“…What is this? Disposal? Action taken first, report submitted later?”
“Article 14, Paragraph 3 of the Wartime Emergency Materials Management Regulations.”
The regimental commander spoke leisurely as he lifted his teacup.
“It was my oversight for failing to account for the humidity at the front. Fortunately, however, a capable platoon leader handled it properly on-site.”
“Ha! That is an absurd excuse. Then what about the food? This enormous excess…”
“Hygiene Code, Article 7. Measures to prevent contamination by enemy materials were applied.”
This time, Major Helga cut in with a cold voice.
“Because the possibility that toxins had been mixed into the orcs’ provisions could not be ruled out, the entire quantity was incinerated. In its place, special rations were issued to boost the soldiers’ morale and preserve their caloric intake. Here is the data compared against the nutritional intake standards.”
Zwinger’s eyes began to waver. Desperately, he flipped to the next page, then the one after that.
Rustle. Rustle.
The sound of paper turning felt unusually loud.
“T-this is…”
Zwinger’s hands trembled. Breaking into a cold sweat, he took off his glasses, wiped them, and put them back on. But the contents of the documents did not change.
Uniform expenses, medical supplies, operational maps… The holes he had intended to point out were packed full with perfect regulations and precedents.
“…Is there anything more to look at, Lieutenant Colonel Zwinger?”
Zwinger could not say a word. His face repeatedly flushed red, then turned pale.
“Analyze status.”
[Name: Albrecht von Zwinger]
[Status: Complete logical defeat. Mistakenly believes he has fallen into a trap.]
[Emotion: Disbelief.]
“…It is too perfect.”
He muttered in a hoarse voice.
“It is so perfect that it is suspicious. Field unit paperwork matching up this flawlessly without a single discrepancy? This is… artificial. Someone deliberately pieced it all together…”
“Lieutenant Colonel.”
I cut him off cleanly.
“Are you saying our regiment is suspicious because we followed the regulations too well?”
“What…?”
“If the documents are a mess, it is embezzlement, and if the documents are perfect, it is fabrication? Then just what tune are we supposed to dance to?”
I took a step closer and threw back at him the very logic he had shoved at me yesterday.
“You said it yourself, Lieutenant Colonel. Numbers do not lie. We proved it with numbers. And now you intend to deny everything with your gut feeling?”
“Ghk, ugh…!”
Zwinger could not refute me. The words he had spoken had returned as shackles.
The air in the conference room changed. Satisfied smiles spread across the faces of the 7th Regiment’s officers.
“Then, is it my turn now?”
The regimental commander set down his teacup. A clear clink rang out.
“You said it, did you not? That if even a single blemish appeared, I should take off my uniform.”
The regimental commander rose from his seat and slowly walked behind Zwinger.
“And yet, far from a blemish, all that has been confirmed is an exemplary operational state worthy of a commendation. Now, what will you do? Shall I formally bring charges before the military court for accusing an innocent field commander of embezzlement and intimidating his subordinates into giving false testimony?”
“C-Colonel… That is a misunderstanding… I was merely following up on a report that came in…”
Zwinger’s spirit had been completely broken. He was practically groveling now.
“A report? I am very curious who that informant might be. …Of course, I can find out if I file an information disclosure request with the Central Inspection Bureau.”
“N-no! That is not—what I mean is…!”
Zwinger’s face turned white. An inspector being investigated in return for false accusation? His career would be over.
The regimental commander gave a faint laugh and whispered into his ear.
“Fine. I will overlook it this once.”
“…Pardon?”
“But there is a condition. That report you will submit to the capital.”
The regimental commander gestured with his chin toward the perfectly organized stack of documents.
“You will write it like this without changing so much as a single word. That the 7th Regiment is the most exemplary, upright, and valiant unit among His Imperial Majesty’s army. Of course, you will also cooperate so that His Imperial Majesty’s scheduled commendation and reward procedures are processed in the shortest possible time.”
It was a deal that opened an escape route while demanding definite submission. Just like an old fox.
Zwinger had no choice. Would he be ruined here, or would he survive even if it meant crushing his pride?
“…Understood.”
Grinding his teeth in humiliation, Zwinger lowered his head.
“I will… handle it as you say, Colonel.”
“Good. Then you may leave. My adjutant is terrible at brewing tea, so I am afraid it will be difficult to entertain you any further.”
It was a clear order to get out.
Without even the presence of mind to gather the stack of documents, Zwinger fled the conference room as if running away. The subordinates who had followed him hurriedly tucked their tails and went after him.
Bang.
*
I headed toward the 3rd Platoon barracks with light steps. When the building came into view in the distance, I sensed a strange stillness hanging over it. It was different from the usual bustle.
Creak.
When I opened the barracks door and stepped inside, dozens of pairs of eyes fixed on me all at once.
“L-Lieutenant!”
The first to react was Gunther. The giant sprang to his feet and ran over.
“You’re here, sir! So… how did it turn out?”
Behind Gunther’s fierce-looking face were Kurt, Klaus, and even Hanna. Every member of the 3rd Platoon was holding their breath and staring only at my mouth.
“Everyone, pack your bags.”
“Pardon…? O-our bags, sir?”
Gunther asked back with a blank expression.
“Surely not the guardhouse?”
“No, this time it has to be the pioneer battalion…”
Despair spread through the 3rd Platoon.
“Not your drab field uniforms. Pack your finest dress uniforms. Polish your boots until you can see your faces in them, too.”
“…Pardon?”
“Did we hear you wrong?”
This time, murmurs spread.
“I’m telling you not to look like country bumpkins. We are going to have an audience with His Imperial Majesty. We cannot very well show up looking filthy, can we?”
“……!!”
For an instant, silence flowed through the barracks. The soldiers looked as though they could not understand what they had just heard.
“H-His Imperial Majesty…?”
“That’s right.”
I grinned as I looked around at them. The 7th Regiment’s return to the imperial capital was now an established fact.
“The inspection? That bookish inspector tucked his tail and ran. Right in front of me, and in front of your achievements.”
My tone carried a hint of exaggeration.
“No matter how hard that bastard pushed his pen to find fault, he could not erase the real merits we earned. If anything, he even stamped us with a certificate saying the 7th Regiment was the cleanest and bravest unit in the Empire.”
“Waaaaaaah!!”
A cheer erupted as if it would blow the roof off the barracks.
“Is that true? We won?”
“As expected of the Lieutenant! You chewed up the inspector, too!”
“Hurrah! Hurrah for the 7th Regiment! Hurrah for the platoon leader!”
“Finally… We’re finally getting out of this damn mud!”
The soldiers looked ready to embrace one another and dance.
Just as the soldiers’ cheers began to die down, someone lightly tugged at my sleeve.
I turned and saw Hanna. Her hazelnut-colored eyes were sparkling more than usual.
“Lieutenant.”
She looked around, then lowered her voice.
“As expected, you are amazing.”
[Status: Pride and faith in the Lieutenant.]
[Emotion: Worry for the Lieutenant has transformed into deep trust and joy.]
I grinned and lightly patted her shoulder. Her status analysis window was worship itself. She had no tail, but she looked exactly like a puppy.
This is why I can’t help doting on her. After glancing around, I discreetly stroked down near her waist where no one could see.
“Of course. There was no way I would lose to that stupid inspector.”
“Yes… I knew you would pull it off, Lieutenant. A-and…”
At my touch, she twisted her body and whispered by my ear in a damp voice.
“To celebrate driving out that stupid inspector…”
Hanna’s gaze changed blatantly. She did not continue. But I could tell what she wanted without using [Analyze Status].
I lightly bit her earlobe, then let go.
“Get ready and come. I’ll leave the door open.”
“Yes…♡ I’ll wash up and come right away.”