Sure enough.
Our group had been decided as the cute-themed “Sneakily.”
“Wow, but how are you cute, unnie? I don’t get it.”
Kim Seoyun? Cute?
I really couldn’t understand it.
“What are you talking about? I’m totally cute. I’m basically the embodiment of cuteness.”
An inexplicably chilly atmosphere right from the start.
We eased the mood with jokes.
Hwang Yeonha, the oldest at twenty-five, naturally took on the role of leader.
Yeonha unnie began assigning positions.
“Then shall we pick the center? Anyone who wants to be center?”
The first to raise her hand was Gu Eunhui.
“Me!”
Hadn’t she said she was quitting being an idol?
Now that she’d made it into the top twenty-four, had she gotten some hope that she could debut?
All of a sudden, Gu Eunhui was getting greedy for center.
“Just one person? No one else?”
Then Meirin timidly raised her hand.
Meirin had repeatedly made mistakes in the last second-round performance, but she survived the second ranking announcement on her visual pick alone.
Seoyun unnie lightly tapped my thigh.
No matter which of the two, Gu Eunhui or Meirin, became center, the team’s future was obvious.
She was telling me to apply for center.
‘Haah... I want to stop doing cute things now.’
Still, there was no choice.
First, I had to win.
“I want to be center too.”
Gu Eunhui’s face crumpled when she saw me.
She must have really wanted to be center.
“Three people, including Dohee? What do we do... The center decision has gotten intense.”
After thinking for a moment, Yeonha unnie pointed to the line on the lyric sheet that said, “wrapped tightly around us,” and spoke.
“Then let’s say this is the center part and have the three of you act it out once each. Who wants to go first?”
But when told to do it, the two of them didn’t step forward.
A sigh rose on its own, but I swallowed it down.
“I’ll try first.”
“Okay, Dohee first?”
I began singing in time with the beat Yeonha unnie counted for me.
“Wrapped tightly around us~”
Even to my own ears, my voice had become much cleaner.
And I crossed my arms, posing as if I were hugging myself, while making the freshest expression I could.
“So cute, so cute!”
Yeonha unnie’s reaction.
“You’re good. Nice, nice.”
Kim Seoyun, who would normally have teased me, simply piled on the praise this time, since the matter was what it was.
“Yeah, cute!”
Only Yeeun unnie still didn’t seem to realize that every time she said something like that, she was putting herself in the line of fire.
After my turn ended, it was Gu Eunhui’s center acting.
“Wrapped tightly around us~”
Somehow, her expression was unnatural.
Her movements were unnatural.
It was skill that made me think she definitely would have been eliminated if not for the first-place reward.
“Haha, okay, that was good.”
Yeonha unnie was smiling for her, but she probably knew it herself too.
That she had done badly.
Last was Meirin.
As expected, since she had the visuals, she was much better than Gu Eunhui, but it still didn’t really hit home.
“Then we’ll vote now.”
While the three of us who had applied for center, including me, closed our eyes, the remaining three discussed and voted to decide the center.
“Our center is Dohee!”
Yeonha unnie clapped enthusiastically and shouted, trying hard to lift the sunken atmosphere.
“Thank you. I’ll work hard!”
“Sure.”
“Dohee, fighting!”
It seemed like it would end warmly like that, but an uncomfortable mood began with Meirin, who had her back to the camera and was facing the wall.
In the end, Meirin began to sob.
“Yirin, why are you crying~”
Yeonha unnie hurriedly tried to soothe her while hugging her.
But the more she was comforted, the louder Meirin’s crying became.
“...I’m sorry. I really wanted to do it, and I feel like if I can’t show myself as center this time either, I’ll be eliminated...”
Meirin’s rank at the first ranking announcement had been 8th.
But at the second ranking announcement, she was 22nd.
Of course, her rank had plummeted because of her own mistakes in the second performance, but it made sense for her to be anxious.
Also, the team reward of twenty thousand votes given to the winning team in the third performance didn’t guarantee survival either.
Still, she was better than Gu Eunhui.
Crying like that meant she was that desperate.
It was a hundred times better than not working hard.
At least until Meirin said this, big tears dropping from her eyes.
“Could I try just one more time...?”
***
The third performance, the theme evaluation.
Not a cover of an existing song, but a new song.
In other words, a performance where the contestants were evaluated on original songs.
Because of that, we had to meet the composers and proceed with guides and recording, so the schedule was even tighter than usual, and thanks to that, the interim evaluation also began earlier than usual.
“Why did you say you wanted to be center?”
And in front of us, Trainer Mun Jinu heaved a sigh that seemed to sink the room, then spoke in a stunned tone.
It wasn’t just Trainer Mun Jinu.
Every trainer, every judge, criticized us harshly.
“Your lines don’t match~ your timing doesn’t match~ What a spectacle, seriously.”
“How did you even survive to the third round? Aren’t you sorry to the girls who were eliminated?”
“Your expressions are stiff. Do you know that, girls?”
“Girls, what were you thinking while practicing? We don’t have time right now.”
“It’s not cute... it doesn’t make my heart flutter... and on top of that, Eunhui is getting all the choreography wrong. It’s a total mess.”
The choreographer of “Sneakily,” who had come as a special trainer, also criticized us harshly.
“When I made this choreography, there were images I imagined, performances I pictured, but I can’t feel any of that at all. It’s just, this is this move~ that’s that move~ Do you think all you have to do is stick out your arms?”
It had been less than two days since we had begun practicing, so everyone still had a lot of rough edges.
But even taking that into account, the criticism was excessive.
In other words, it meant our team coordination was in serious condition.
A time bomb that had been unstable from the very beginning.
It had finally exploded now.
“This isn’t the time to cry. I’m asking why you became center.”
Trainer Mun Jinu snapped, and beside him, Meirin was shedding tears pitifully.
“Could I try just one more time...?”
With that one line from Meirin, I had lost my options.
Because of the camera.
If there had been no camera, I would have soothed her and soothed her again, then told her we should take the first-place reward and work hard to win.
But in front of the camera, it would have looked strange to say no.
Then should we vote for center again?
From that moment on, the team atmosphere would obviously fall apart.
In the end, the only thing left was to give in nicely.
Of course, for me and my image, there was nothing to lose.
Image-wise, I would probably look better.
But could I get first place this time?
I didn’t know.
“Meirin trainee, listen carefully. The center is the image of that team. It’s not just about being pretty! Have you thought about what you can show as the center? You should have said you wanted to be center when you were at least prepared to show one thing properly, whether that’s your expression or the choreography.”
Even if he was an idol from a generation long past, as long as he was an idol, you’d think he would manage his image, but Teacher Mun Jinu had none of that and was raising his voice with veins standing out.
After the interim evaluation, where we received nothing but rebukes, it was practice time again.
This time, the choreographer in charge of the song came and began intensive training.
Thanks to that, our formations, lines, and timing began to come together little by little, but even so, we still couldn’t avoid harsh criticism.
“Are you getting everything wrong from the very beginning?”
“Girls, what are we going to do if you still can’t do it?”
“Girls, let’s memorize it quickly. We don’t have time right now.”
“One, two, three, four. You’re not supposed to look to the side there!”
“Eunhui, what exactly were you doing while the others were learning? Are you the only one having a hard time?”
Our team’s situation was a total crisis.
Gu Eunhui, who wasn’t practicing properly.
Meirin, who didn’t have the capability to be center.
Yeeun unnie, who had shrunk under the atmosphere.
Yeonha unnie, who was running around anxiously taking care of the team members as leader.
Kim Seoyun, whose mental state had been wrecked because of Gu Eunhui.
And me, who had reached enlightenment.
It was a combination where I didn’t even know where to begin untangling things.
***
Inside the recording booth.
The composer’s voice came through the talkback mic.
“Lee Dohee trainee, let’s have you sing the entire chorus once.”
The instrumental flowed through my headset.
The pre-chorus rhythm passed, and it became the chorus part.
“My heart, like a tiny bug”
“Is scurrying lightly along”
“A secret tremble, a small desire”
“Are wrapped tightly around us”
“For the last part, could you sing the ‘kkok’ more like ‘kko-ok’?”
“That was good just now, but this time, instead of bending it, shall we try singing it smoothly?”
“Okay, we’ll go one more time.”
Following the composer’s requests, I sang several times while matching the mood.
“Oh, that was really good just now. Come out for now.”
The composer gave the okay sign.
After hearing the voices of all the trainees, with my recording as the last, the composer looked like he was clearly choosing his words carefully.
“First, I’ve listened to everyone’s voices once... When I made this song, I put the core of it in the center part.”
“Because it’s a cute-concept song, if this center part can’t create an atmosphere that’s lively and fresh... the overall mood of the song tends to become loose.”
“That’s how much the center part can control the overall atmosphere of the song.”
“Um... yes. To be honest, if we’re considering the completion of the song, I don’t think it can be helped. I’m sorry to Meirin trainee, but as the composer, I’d like Lee Dohee to take the center.”
At the composer’s words, Meirin’s eyes filled with moisture again.
“Yes...”
Sigh...
The conclusion was one thing.
After going all the way around in a huge circle, I ended up taking the center again.
There were about five days left on the schedule now.
The third performance already had the shortest practice period, so the future was already pitch-black.
I had practiced for four days as Sub Vocal 3, and now they were telling me to be center.
Changed formations and changed parts.
The thought of having to match everything on my own, without even sleeping, made me want to throw up.
“I’m sorry, Dohee...”
As if she knew she had done wrong, Meirin clung to me and burst into tears.
Well, fine.
If I don’t sleep, I’ll somehow manage it.
I’m confident in that.
But Meirin.
Could Meirin adjust to the new part?
Ah, fuck, I want to beat them all up.