“Princess, you need to get up soon. You have to go to kindergarten today.”
“Mmhmm, what time is it?”
“Seven thirty~. Hurry up and wash up and get dressed. Mom laid out your clothes.”
Waking up earlier than usual, I’m still drowsy and half-asleep.
Dad, who would normally already be at work and out of the house by the time I woke up, seems to not have left yet at this hour.
Dad hugs me with a big grin on his face from early morning.
“Our daughter’s awake? Let’s go wash your face.”
“Yeah...”
Since I can’t reach the sink, I step up on a toddler’s footstool and roughly wash my face, which wakes me up a bit.
After washing up, I roughly put on the clothes Mom laid out.
A frilly dress completely to Mom’s taste. If it weren’t a morning when I’m utterly drained of energy, I would’ve run straight to Mom to protest.
“*Yawn*, I’m all ready.”
“If you’re done, come eat, Dohee. Oppa, you need to leave for work now; it’s almost time.”
“Got it, I’ll be back. Dohee, have fun playing at kindergarten today, okay? Daddy’s heading out now.”
“Yeah, have a good day.”
After wolfing down breakfast, I left the house with Mom and got in the elevator.
Getting up and going out at a time when I’d normally be sleeping is killing me.
I’m only going to kindergarten today, and that’s it.
Once elementary school starts, I’ll be suffering at this hour every day anyway, so I should rest while I can.
While riding the elevator down, it stopped, and an ajumma got on.
The ajumma smiled the moment she saw me.
“I haven’t seen this little one before. She’s so pretty—how old is she?”
Mom smiled proudly as she answered.
“Ah, she’s five. Haha.”
“Are you going somewhere with the little one?”
“It’s her first day of kindergarten today.”
“Oh my, is that so? I thought she was a child actress heading to a filming set because she’s so pretty. If you’re interested, you should try having her act.”
As the small talk between Mom and the first-time ajumma was winding down, the elevator arrived at the basement first-floor parking garage.
“We’ll be going then. Dohee, you should say hello.”
“Goodbye.”
“Aww, the little one greets so well too. Alright, take care~”
While heading to kindergarten by car, Mom asked.
“Honey, do you want to be on TV?”
“TV? Well, that’s all experience too. It might be worth trying once, just for the experience.”
“Hehe, our daughter talks like an adult. That ajumma mentioned child actors earlier. Ah, a child actor is—”
“I know what that is.”
“Aww, our smart girl doesn’t not know anything. Mom wishes you could try everything you want to. Think about it.”
“Yeah.”
Before I knew it, we had arrived at kindergarten while talking with Mom.
We asked a teacher who was guiding arriving students at the kindergarten entrance and headed to the principal’s office.
“Welcome. Are you Dohee’s mother who called yesterday?”
“Ah, yes, that’s me. Hello.”
“Hello, Principal.”
“Well, hello there, Dohee. You’re so pretty. You look just like your beautiful mother, don’t you? Hoho.”
“Oh, stop. Haha.”
It’s true that I’m pretty, but something about the principal opening her mouth feels ominous.
“Come sit over here first.”
“Yes, thank you.”
“Would you like some coffee or tea?”
“Ah, coffee, please.”
The principal guided us with practiced movements, then made coffee and gave me a candy while asking Mom.
“So, you said you wanted to do a one-day trial visit?”
“Yes, it’s not like we’re a dual-income household, so I could just play with her at home instead of sending her to kindergarten. But I figured she needs to make friends to develop her social skills.”
“Of course, Mother. These days, children need to develop their sociability from kindergarten so they can adjust well to school later.”
‘What’s the point of getting close to snot-nosed brats at my age... Though my body is five years old, sure.’
“But if you only do a one-day trial, it’ll be over before she can even develop any social skills. How about trying it for a month instead?”
“Ah... Our daughter really wants to stay home.”
“Mother, not only sociability, but at our English kindergarten, children naturally learn English. By the time they enter elementary school, they’ll be better than most kids who’ve studied abroad.”
“Ah, that’s right... English is important.”
At this rate, something about the flow felt wrong, like I’d end up having to keep attending kindergarten.
I looked at Mom and shook my head violently.
“But the child hates it so much...”
“Hoo, Mother, you know our English kindergarten is 1.99 million won per month, right? We’re running a special promotion that we’ve never done before—if you register by today, you can attend for a year at 990,000 won per month. You’ll really regret missing this opportunity.”
‘No, is this ajumma running an English kindergarten or a gym? What kind of promotion is this? And she set the price with nines too. No matter how gullible my mom is, such a simple sales tactic...’
Mom’s eyes are wavering.
At this rate, I’ll end up signing up for a full year before even doing the trial visit.
‘Sad thoughts... sad thoughts...’
‘My dick I left behind in my past life... I’m sorry, hyung... that I never got to use you even once...’
Thinking of my poor little one, tears began to well up.
Is this how parents feel when they lose a child?
“Mommy... I want to stay with Mommy.”
Along with the line, I gently close my eyes.
A single tear rolls down my cheek.
Seeing me shed tears, Mom pulls me into a tight hug.
“Aww, our princess, Mommy’s sorry. Mommy didn’t understand our daughter’s feelings.”
‘Kiya, that was some acting. Should I really try being a child actor?’
“Mommy... I just want to do... today... *sniff*...”
“Yes, yes, we’ll just try today, and our princess can decide.”
‘Shit, I’m saved. I almost got played by the principal’s silver tongue.’
“*Ahem* Then we’ll set it up as a one-day trial visit, and you can pay 99,000 won.”
“Yes, here’s my card.”
After the payment,
“Hmm... Then which class should I place her in for the trial... Berlin class, Rome class, Paris class, Madrid class, Lisbon class...”
‘Jesus.’
This English kindergarten doesn’t seem to be in its right mind.
They completely left out the capitals of actual English-speaking countries like England, America, Canada, and Australia, naming all the classes exclusively after capitals of countries that don’t speak English.
“Principal, could she possibly be in the same class as Baek Hwi? If she has a friend there, I think our Dohee would adjust quickly.”
“Ah, is that so? Which class was Baek Hwi in again... ah, here it is.”
The principal rummaged through the roster, found the class of that blessed golden-spoon brat, and picked up the intercom.
“Ah, Teacher, we have a new student in your class today, so please come to the principal’s office to guide her.”
Then she hung up and said.
“I’ve called the homeroom teacher, so she’ll be here shortly, hoho. And Mother, after you experience it today, if at all possible, signing up for the year today would be best because of the promotion. You understand what I’m saying, right?”
“Ah... yes.”
‘The principal is ruthless, utterly ruthless.’
*Knock knock.*
“Principal, may I come in?”
“The homeroom teacher is here.”
“Hello. I’m Yoo Sohee, the Seoul class homeroom teacher.”
‘Kya, following Berlin class, Madrid class, and so on, now there’s Seoul class? That’s the crowning touch.’
The homeroom teacher bent her knees and looked at me as she asked.
“Nice to meet you. What a pretty friend has joined us. What’s your name?”
“I’m Lee Dohee.”
“Such a pretty name too. Shall we have fun playing with Teacher today? Mother, you can go home and rest now, then please come back by 3:30.”
“Yes, I understand. Dohee, Mommy will go home and come back. Have fun playing today, okay?”
“Yeah, got it. See you in a bit.”
As Mom left, the homeroom teacher took my hand and said.
“Dohee, shall we go too?”
As we were about to leave, the principal called the homeroom teacher over and whispered openly into her ear.
“Wait a moment, Teacher Yoo, come here.”
‘One-day... one-year...... persuade her...’
At this point, I want to applaud the principal.
I guess that’s how you make money.
After the principal’s orders were finished, the homeroom teacher returned with an unnecessarily grave expression.
“Well then, Dohee, shall we go?”
“Yes... let’s.”
I entered the Seoul class.
The first thing I saw upon entering was children running around, chasing each other.
A child stacking blocks and a child knocking them down.
A child snatching a toy and a child being snatched from.
A child sleeping, at least.
A child transforming, claiming to imitate an animation he watched yesterday.
A child waving a magic wand pretending to cast magic, and so on...
‘Ah, bratty age five...’
“Everyone, attention.”
Even though the homeroom teacher shouted for attention, the children were in a chaotic uproar.
“We have a new friend in our class today. Shall we all say hello?”
‘No, is the teacher too just saying what she wants to say regardless...’
“Now, attention again. A very, very pretty friend has come to our class.”
Amazingly, the children started glancing at me one by one, then went quiet, fixed their heads in place, and stared at me intently.
My looks can even make five-year-old brats concentrate.
I thank the miracle of Mom and Dad’s genes...
“My, did everyone quiet down so quickly because Dohee’s so pretty? Now then, shall we introduce ourselves?”
“Yes... Hello, I’m Lee Dohee. Nice to meet you...”
“Everyone, applause~”
*Clap-clap-clap.*
“Now, does anyone want to ask Dohee a question? Yes, Jangmoon.”
“Hello, I’m Park Jangmoon. I’m the 32nd-generation descendant of the Miryang Park clan, Joldosa-gong branch, the youngest of two sons and one daughter with an older brother and sister above me. My dad is a baseball player and my mom is a stay-at-home mother. When I was at the LA Kids Cafe, I... so... that’s why... and then...”
‘Who the hell is this kid? Is nobody in this goddamn kindergarten sane?’
“The house I live in now is at the Bandeom Yubora Central Park View Edu River Marina The First City.”
‘Kya, even the apartment name is long-winded like its owner.’
“So anyway, if you don’t have a boyfriend, go out with me.”
“Shit!”
‘Ah. I couldn’t hold it in, and a curse slipped out in the moment.’
‘In this life, I was trying to live cultured and without cursing, but...’
Hearing my curse from beside me, the homeroom teacher’s eyes went wide in surprise.
She had a flustered look, as if wondering whether what she’d heard was really a curse word.
“A... ah... my foot is falling asleep...”
I pretended my foot was asleep from standing there during Park Jangmoon’s speech.
“Hoho, Dohee’s foot fell asleep? Your way of speaking is just like a noblewoman from a Joseon-era yangban household.”
“Yes, I watched a historical drama on TV yesterday too... hehe...”
I was putting on a desperate act, but Park Jangmoon shamelessly shouted again.
“So, if you don’t have a boyfriend, go out with me!”
“Ah, sh-!”
I need to slowly catch my breath first.
Hoo... haa...
‘Ahh, shit, calm down...’
After calming my breath, I decided to use that move.
‘Hoo... it can’t be helped.’
“Sorry, but I’m going to marry my dad.”
‘In the end, even such words are coming out of my mouth...’
Looks like today is going to be quite an eventful struggle until I can escape this English kindergarten.