"Are you all willing to extend the contract?"
Having received the proposal from Shock Entertainment, I postponed answering on the spot.
It was partly because, for me and the members, since we each had our own agencies, what mattered was the will of our original agencies.
And it was also partly because it was realistically, rationally expected that most of those agencies would have no intention of agreeing to Seven's contract extension.
But the bigger reason was that my heart was in turmoil.
The unnies who had been with me since trainee days until the debut team, who would be waiting at Topist.
Twenty-four hours a day, three hundred sixty-five days a year.
The Seven members who had become more than colleagues, sharing the same bed and the same space, living together through it all, and the fans.
I had to weigh them, choose, and answer.
The members were probably the same.
That must be why they had postponed their answers too.
Or even if they had wanted to extend, they probably hadn't said it out loud, considering the other members' positions.
"Guys, our Gocheok Dome is sold out!"
And after the Gocheok Dome sell-out, along with the news that each agency would meet for extension discussions, my state of mind grew more confused and complicated.
Afraid our hearts might waver needlessly, we decided to hand over even our phones for the remaining schedule and focus only on the new song and the concert.
* * *
Days, dates, and weeks passed, and extension negotiations were still going back and forth.
Our schedule remained unchanged.
Every schedule was proceeding as planned.
And the same went for our title track.
Just like the Season 1 and Season 2 project groups.
The final title of a project group on the verge of disbandment was a ballad.
Because a farewell needed a lyrical song that could convey emotions to the fans.
Since we couldn't switch songs in such a short time, we decided to keep the title track as it was.
Since it was a ballad, except for when the members gathered in the practice room to rehearse for the concert stage or take vocal lessons, for the most part, they went into their individual vocal rooms to practice the song alone.
"What did I look like back then?"
And I too was holed up in my vocal room, continuing to practice.
"What were you thinking when you looked at me?"
When I sang the lyrics with emotion, my feelings would well up and surge for no reason, and I'd get choked up, but then I'd lean back in the chair for a moment, throw off my headset, and close my eyes.
'Getting teary-eyed over something like this...'
I picked up the water bottle on the desk and gulped down water to settle my nerves.
"Phew..."
Having rubbed shoulders with members who were women in their prime for over a year, I had come to viscerally realize that my demeanor had become noticeably more feminine, as if I had unknowingly picked up their mannerisms.
Well, I was a girl group member, so I had to act like a girl; I must have done it even more.
"Ugh... I've really become a full-fledged girl."
Since I had thought something like this might happen when I became a girl group member, the self-deprecating complaint came out even stronger.
"I am a girl, though...?"
"Ah, you scared me!"
Startled by the sudden voice from behind, I turned my head to see Sera unnie already standing there with a broad smile.
"Dohee is such a super cute girl...!?"
"No, when did you come in?"
I must not have heard her enter while I had my headphones on practicing.
"Um... ten minutes?"
"No, then you should make some noise. Why were you just standing there?"
"I don't know...?"
It wasn't unusual for unnie to suddenly visit, so I was used to it by now.
"Forget it, get out!"
But not now.
It was time to practice.
'She saw everything while I was practicing, damn...'
It was a bit embarrassing.
Besides, Sera unnie sang better than me.
"D-Dohee sings so well! Better than me...!?"
Sera unnie seemed to catch on to my feelings, shaking my arm and shouting desperately.
"As if I sing better than you."
Not even a fan who has me as their bias would say that.
"No, Dohee sings so well and is so amazing...!"
"Just get out. I'm practicing and it's embarrassing."
At my firm words, Sera unnie sulked.
"Are you really making me leave...?"
"Yeah. Come back in a bit."
Sera unnie looked at me pitifully for no reason.
"Hng... I'll leave...?"
And at that sight, my heart weakened needlessly.
"Sera's leaving..."
Because Sera unnie had looked sadder than anyone else among the members with disbandment approaching.
Though she had looked a little better lately after hearing that there was a possibility of extension.
"Ugh... let's hang out for ten minutes. I have to practice after that. People are paying a lot of money to see us. We have to work hard."
"Okay!"
So I hung out with Sera unnie for ten minutes.
It was nothing much, just eating snacks unnie had brought over and chatting.
"Should I... leave... now?"
"Yeah, we'll see each other at dinner anyway. Let's eat what you like for dinner."
"Unh..."
In the end, she left sulking again.
Anyway, after unnie left, I started practicing again.
Just as I put the headset back on to sing.
The door burst open again.
At Sera unnie coming in when she had just left, I turned my head in what even I thought was a rather irritable way.
"Ah, Sera unnie! I told you I need to practice!"
But when I turned around, it wasn't Sera unnie standing there.
"So what if you sing worse than me."
A vocal line who worried about singing as little as Sera unnie did.
"What, it's Seoyun."
Seoyun unnie suddenly puffed air into her cheeks.
"Mmh, cute Tteoyuni is here again."
"Ah."
I really hate this.
When I glared at her with contempt, Kim Seoyun excitedly sat in the chair next to me.
"But why does Sera like you so much? Tteoyuni Tteounhaeng~"
Ah, why does she do this.
"Well... because I'm cute, pretty, kind, and have a good personality?"
Now Seoyun unnie was looking at me with contempt instead.
Does she have no conscience?
"Should I just leave."
"Yeah, leave. I need to practice."
Of course, that was what I wanted, so I put my headset back on.
"No, play with me."
And Kim Seoyun tried to take off my headset.
I swatted her hand away.
"Ha... I was wondering why you left so obediently."
"Tteoyuni, play with me~"
The whining pierced through the headset.
There was no choice. I'd have to play with Kim Seoyun for ten minutes and then send her out.
"Yeah, I'm not leaving even after ten minutes~"
"I'll use my fists after that."
Kim Seoyun averted her eyes.
Even though she's an adult now, I'm stronger.
"Anyway, is there anything you want to eat?"
Kim Seoyun quickly changed the subject.
"Why? Nothing in particular."
"Let's decide where to go on our next vacation. Remember last time, Hana unnie said she found an escape room you'd like. How about going there?"
"Vacation?"
"Yeah. It was your birthday recently, but you couldn't even go out. I was worried about you for no reason."
She worries about everything.
"We cut the cake and celebrated together, so that's enough."
Besides, we had a celebration party and did a live broadcast.
"Still, the concert ends next month, so let's go out then."
"I don't really... I don't care that much about birthdays, so it doesn't matter... And if the contract gets extended in the first place, we might not even get a vacation."
Though the chances of extension were slim.
"That is true..."
Seoyun unnie's expression changed subtly.
"So what do you want to do?"
Though it seemed no different from before, her intonation and the atmosphere she gave off were different.
What Seoyun unnie was asking now was not some trivial matter like vacation.
"Extension?"
Seoyun unnie nodded slowly.
We were usually close without any age gap feeling between us, but it was a topic we hadn't talked about alone until now.
I had a feeling Seoyun unnie had come in when we were alone to ask this.
"Who knows. It's stupid to even worry about it."
I hung the headset around my neck.
It was a gesture that I didn't really want to talk about it.
"Just think of it as ending and focus on preparing for the concert."
And upon hearing that, Seoyun unnie somehow looked annoyed.
Maybe because she's the emotional type.
Though it might also be because I spoke a bit rudely.
"Is that possible for you?"
"Then what am I supposed to do?"
"No..."
Seoyun unnie tried to continue but swallowed her words.
And a brief silence passed.
I opened my mouth one last time before putting on my headset.
"Honestly, it's better if there's no extension. There are too many complications."
"That's why they're saying to extend briefly. Just one year."
"Whether it's a one-year extension or a six-month extension, once it ends, there will be more extension talk again. The fans will ask us to do it again since we did it once. It's better to end the contract as contracts should end."
Unnie sympathized with my words but continued to show displeasure.
"Must be nice being so rational."
And it wasn't that I couldn't relate to her annoyance.
Emotion and reason were different.
Because even I, who was saying this, wasn't feeling good about it.
"I'm just saying."
So there was no point in talking more; it would only escalate emotions and lead to a fight.
So I put the headset on completely.
And at the same time, unnie flopped down, leaning back in her chair.
"No matter how I look at it, I have too many distracting thoughts."
Honestly, Seoyun unnie probably only talked about this kind of stuff with me.
"It's a trait of idiots. Stephen Hawking said to focus on what you can do."
We had been together for a long time since trainee days.
Whether we liked it or not, we were people who would be together in the future too.
"Must be nice being smart."
"Right. My grades prove it. I Dohui, expected to enter Korea University. No, should I just go to Harvard? Or Juilliard?"
"Juilliard? As if. Get into Hanseong Arts High School."
"Ahh~ the world constrains me~"
Seoyun unnie, finally breaking into a smile, continued.
"Come to think of it, you're entering high school next week, right?"
"Yeah. Ugh... school at this age. I really don't want to go."
"That is the age for school. I'll get you pretty flowers for the entrance ceremony, so look forward to it. I learned flower arranging last time."
"I don't even have to see it to know you'll come empty-handed and say you are the flower."
"Oh, you hit the nail on the head."
Still, even if other things changed, I didn't think our relationship would change.
"So annoying, so sick of it."
"Your face."