*
Around the time the admin was off on a trip to dreamland.
Far away from the room filled with the stench of ammonia, in a field beautifully lit by moonlight.
A knight clad in silver armor was smashing skeletons against that dazzling, beautiful backdrop.
“They truly come in endless waves. Can you lot not even respect another’s mealtime?”
Crack! With that sound, a skull shattered like a crushed cookie.
The greatsword the knight swung smashed apart any enemy it touched with ease, as if foes of this level were nothing at all.
“It was a feast such as I had never tasted in my life. The most satisfying meal in all my long years. And you lot barged in while I was savoring it—what, then, am I to do with you?”
The knight’s name was Duke Greywarden.
Those he had aided called him “the Hero.”
And the gallery users called him the Madman of Bare Mountain.
His fixed nickname was “Two Meals a Day.”
It was a nickname that showed his firm resolve to eat two meals a day, no matter what.
“““Clack... clack-clack...”””
Had they been frightened by the greatsword packed full of rage?
The army of skeletons, which seemed to possess no emotions whatsoever, all began rattling their joints at once.
Having his meals interrupted was an everyday occurrence for him.
While he was boiling tree roots dug up from the mountains, enemies would leap out from behind trees.
While he was roasting a small rat he had caught in the fields, enemies would burst out from beneath his feet.
While he was cleaning a fish he had caught in the river, enemies would emerge from the water.
For him, who traveled in search of places where miasma grew dense, it was just another part of daily life.
If anything, for Duke, being able to enjoy a meal in peace was what could be called out of the ordinary.
When was the last time he had eaten peacefully?
If his memory served him right, the last time had been a meal on the back mountain of some village.
“I made broth from tree roots and boiled a bird I hunted, was it? I cannot quite remember.”
He had eaten in peace, but it did not seem to have tasted good.
If it had been delicious, his memory of it would not have been so faint.
“““Clack! Clack-clack-clack!”””
“Be quiet. You have no tongues attached, yet you are disgustingly noisy.”
Whoooosh! The greatsword was swung lightly.
The skeletons touched by that blade were swept away like fallen leaves in an autumn gale.
The number of skeletons that had first appeared had surely exceeded a thousand.
And yet, before Duke’s eyes, only a single skeleton remained.
“Now then... I doubt you will answer, but will you tell me where the one controlling you is?”
The stronger an undead was, the stronger its sense of self.
Weak ones had no awareness at all of why they were here, or what they were doing.
Compared to them, the relatively strong ones?
“Clack-clack-clack-clack-clack.”
They could even feel fear and tremble in terror like this.
Knowing that characteristic better than anyone, Duke had deliberately continued trying to converse with them, and had left only the skeleton that seemed the most emotionally shaken on the battlefield.
“Point with your hand to where your master is. If your master prevents that, you may use your foot. If even that is impossible, turn your gaze toward it. Do that, and I will simply kill you.”
Simply kill it?
No matter how close it was to a threat, the condition offered in exchange was so bewildering that the skeleton tilted its head.
“If you do not, I will tear off only your head and use it to search for your master.”
It immediately nodded fiercely and accepted Duke’s proposal.
Slowly, the skeleton’s hand rose.
At the sight, a chilling smile bloomed on Duke’s face.
Had he not been wearing a helmet, the skeleton would have been horrified by what it saw.
“I see. My prediction was correct. As promised, I shall send you off comfortably. Present your head.”
But thanks to the helmet, the skeleton saw nothing at all, and swiftly offered up its skull as Duke had instructed.
Whooosh—! Crack!
With that sound, it was able to enter eternal rest.
“Phew...”
After confirming there were no further threats nearby, Duke removed his helmet.
Full-body armor with not a single part of it, from head to toe, that he liked.
And among it, the helmet he hated most of all.
As always, once the battle ended, he took it off at once.
Why?
Because he could not eat during battle while wearing a helmet.
The miasma he was currently holding back was merely a byproduct of the aura emitted by the Outer God.
After the goddess’s attack, which had been close to mutual destruction, the Outer God had hidden itself on the far side of the world to recover its strength.
What was currently attacking the continent was, so to speak, only the dregs of the Outer God.
Because they were nothing more than dregs, they were weak.
But there were many of them. Overwhelmingly many.
Under that overwhelming quantity, the living beings of the continent were continually being driven into corners.
They polluted the land, strengthened magical beasts, revived the dead, and pressed forward with sheer numbers.
Duke’s mission was to hold back such invasions, even if only a little.
“I shall have to eat today’s meal while walking. The bread I was eating earlier is... over there.”
Duke retrieved the bread he had carefully set aside a short distance away.
Then, with his helmet tucked under his arm, he began walking in the direction the skeleton had pointed.
“Bread spread with jam. This is truly delicious. No, I dare say it is the finest.”
As Duke savored the strawberry jam, he began writing his feelings and thoughts about this feast in the gallery.
[Write Post]
[Title: Bread with jam? To me, this is s*x]
Content -
“Hmm...”
As he pondered how to write it so that everyone would understand his feelings.
*
“A strong and powerful morning! If you ask me, I am the admin!”
As soon as I woke up, I gave Sora a spirited greeting.
I couldn’t even remember how long it had been since I woke up feeling this refreshed.
[...Good afternoon, Rain.]
Was this Sora’s first time hearing Waldo-speak?
Her response seemed slightly delayed.
If she didn’t know it, then there was nothing to be done.
Even so, however, this morning really was a strong and powerful morning for me.
“Sora, could you display my remaining points on the screen?”
[Yes. Understood. I will display your current remaining P below.]
[59,---]
“Kiyahoo!”
Moving day!
Today was the joyous day of moving.
That day adults talked about, the day without evil spirits?
Who cares?
I didn’t even have a calendar in the first place, so there was no way to check.
But that didn’t mean there was nothing to check at all.
Checking the gallery before moving.
What if I thoughtlessly dumped 59,000 points straight into moving?
What if I got so excited I bounced around everywhere, then checked the gallery and found some problem had come up that required points?
The dragons would be paying me a house call right away.
“I finally get into a new house, only for it to be smashed to pieces immediately? That can’t happen. No. Absolutely not.”
Was it because I had gone through the twelve-hour incident?
Feeling that my crisis avoidance ability had leveled up by one stage, I accessed the gallery.
[Welcome to the Ark Gallery!]
[*Announcement Regarding Jam*]
[Thank you, Heroooㅠㅠ]
[A Study on Jam Consumption and the Corresponding Increase in Happiness]
[Bread with jam? To me, this is s*x]
[Our Crown Princess is pretty, right? Cute, right? Lovely, right? Upvote if you agreeㅠㅠㅠ]
[It is delicious! I cannot stop eating it!]
ㅡㅡㅡㅡ
[Current state of pioneer settlement settlers who stayed up all night eating jam lololol]
[My daughter ate jam and cried. I was always worried because she acted too grown-up]
[Strawberry jam! Grape jam! Baguette bread!! Uheongㅠㅠㅠㅠ]
[I think I’d have no regrets even if I died today]
[I went to the orphanage run by the cathedral convent and shared jam]
There was a change on the gallery’s main screen.
It probably had something to do with the upvote and downvote functions...
“Sora-Sora. Was this updated together with the last feature addition?”
I asked Sora to make sure.
[Yes. That is correct. What you are currently viewing is the “Featured Posts” section. Based on the periods from 12:00 a.m. to 11:59 a.m. and from 12:00 p.m. to 11:59 p.m., the posts that receive the most upvotes will be displayed at the top of the gallery for the next twelve hours. Also, unless announcements are set separately, the most recent announcement will always be placed at the very top.]
“Thanks for telling me, Sora-Sora.”
I was able to get a definite answer.
Should I say the gallery was getting richer?
Seeing that there was more and more to look at made me feel strangely proud.
It was no longer a racehorse-like gallery where the list would pass five pages while I read a single post, but a gallery where people could read and laugh together over posts that had drawn attention.
Then shall I see what happened overnight?
There was fun in searching through and reading things one by one, but I had desperately wanted a function that let me view them this conveniently.
[Thank you, Heroooㅠㅠ]
Author: Ravenhill Village Chief
- Thanks to the Hero helping us last night, everyone in the village was able to remain safeㅠㅠ
The sight of him swinging his greatsword and smashing the army of skeletons,
and even the sight of his back as he walked away eating a baguette after everything was over...!
All of us of Ravenhill Village will never forget it until the day we die!!!
Once again, thank you so much!
(Gif of villagers bowing their heads)
(Gif of an old man prostrating himself on the dirt floor)
Upvotes: +9999 Downvotes: 2
(Comments)
- Once again, thank you so much, Heroㅠㅠㅠㅠ
- Thanks to you, we didn’t have to leave the village! Thank youㅠㅠ
ㄴ Heorㅕo thank yoou!!
ㄴ I’m the comment author! My child really wanted to say thank you, so I helped them...!
- Isn’t that place in the west? I thought the Hero was seen near the south recently
ㄴ Yeah, that’s right. There, he wiped out an army of ghouls + skeletons and left;;
ㄴ Does he seriously never rest? Damn, I respect him
ㄴ He’s the pillar supporting the world, after all~
ㄴ He hasn’t collapsed for 50 years, after all~
- (Clop-clop clop-clop) The Hero saved me once too, and if I ever meet him again, I’ll repay the favor even if I have to spend my entire fortune. For real
ㄴ What do you do? Your nick makes me curious for no reason
ㄴ (Clop-clop clop-clop) I’m a peddler. I raised cows in my hometown, but the trade route got blocked, so I cleared it myself to make a living ㅇㅇ
ㄴ So you were an amazing lunatic;;
- Who the hell downvoted? This kind of post got 2 downvotes?
ㄴ One of those was me, sorry sorry;; I was reading the post and sneezed, then pressed it by mistakeㅠ
ㄴ If it was a sneeze, there’s nothing you could do ㅇㅇ
Excited by the word “Hero,” I had gone into the post practically dancing.
My heart warmed.
But so there were Heroes too.
“Mana, dragons, and Heroes... then I guess Demon Kings and gods exist too?”
Since strange things kept popping up if they existed, I felt like I would be disappointed now if they didn’t.
Just in case, I looked at the screen I used to chat with Sora-Sora.
[I cannot inform you. I apologize.]
I received exactly the answer I had expected.
There must be something.
I was incredibly, incredibly curious, but since I had no way of finding out, I moved on to the next featured post.
[Our Crown Princess is pretty, right? Cute, right? Lovely, right? Upvote if you agreeㅠㅠㅠ]
Author: CrownPrincessFootstool
- First, I would like to state in advance that these photos are being uploaded with the consent of the imperial family.
The purpose is to experience and confirm the gallery’s new function.
And to verify whose ability to capture the Crown Princess’s natural appearance is superior.
Since I demonstrated the most outstanding ability, I am posting them on the gallery like this.
(Gif of the princess in distress, clutching her head in the field inside the imperial palace)
(Gif of the princess suffering before a pile of parchment and documents)
(Gif of the princess happily biting into a baguette)
(Gif of the princess drooling as she spreads jam on a baguette)
(Gif of the princess tearing up while biting into a jam-covered baguette)
(Gif of the princess belatedly noticing she is being filmed and flailing with bread in her mouth)
(Gif of the princess sulking with her cheeks puffed out)
(Gif of the princess happily jumping up and down after receiving a green grape-flavored candy)
Her Imperial Highness the Crown Princess is pretty, right? Cute, right? Lovely, right?
If you agree, hurry up and smash that upvote
Upvotes: +9999 Downvotes: 0
(Comments)
- Wow, that’s a lot;;
- You can see the princess’s whole day just from the gifs ㄷㄷ
ㄴ Work to resolve the famine, administrative work that piled up in the meantime, mealtime, mealtime 2, mealtime 3... snack time
ㄴ Hey, when you put it like that, it sounds like she only eats all day lololololololol
ㄴ Looking at the gifs, that is kind of true lolol
ㄴ We all know she works all day and mealtimes are only for a moment~
- She really is the light of the empire. Every gif is shining ㄷㄷ
ㄴ Shining... shining..? rai—
ㄴ Hey, don’t do it
ㄴ All the imperial family members must be watching, yet someone’s brave enough to try this ㄷㄷ
ㄴ Isn’t it a kind of suicide attempt? Life must have been really hard for them ㅇㅇ
- She hasn’t accomplished anything, yet you people are so happy to fawn over her, ugh
ㄴ You bastard, where do you live? You’re a noble from the provinces, aren’t you?
ㄴ Suspect identified immediately lolol
ㄴ You seriously better watch yourself. If I find out where you live, I’m coming to kill you.
A heartwarming, heartwarming comment section.
Amid the comments shouting about how much they loved the Crown Princess, there was one comment floating there alone, getting cursed out.
“I was wondering why there were so many comments insulting provincial nobles, but none in the posts.”
As soon as one appeared, the gallery users were stir-frying him from all sides.
It seemed this was why they had just been lurking.
In any case, the gallery users didn’t seem to have any particular problems.
Even while I was reading the featured posts, the pages of ordinary posts were passing by in an instant.
Everyone was screaming, overcome with happiness.
“No problems in the gallery, no scheduled point spending. Check complete.”
The time had finally come.
Bunker!
A name that made my heart flutter just from hearing it.
It was the moment I escaped from the shabby room that had turned into a toilet.