His steps toward the bedroom quickened more than usual; it could not be helped.
It was the place where Sisi existed, the one space in his black-and-white world that alone gave off vivid color. His feet hastened toward her as if drawn by a magnet.
He wished the door would be opened even a little sooner, but the attendant, as though unaware of the emperor’s heart, opened it at the usual pace.
“His Majesty the Emperor enters.”
At last the bedroom door opened, and the first thing to enter his sight was Countess Esterházy standing beside her.
Franz Joseph had to make an effort not to frown at the sight of her.
‘That tiresome woman.’
The perfection of Countess Esterházy, who seemed as if not a single drop of blood would spill even if she were stabbed, was utterly tiresome.
And next came Sisi. His wife.
‘Normally, she wouldn’t be sitting like that…’
Joseph expected that she would now rise and that the stiff etiquette of the court would unfold, and he sighed inwardly.
‘Under Esterházy’s guidance, she too will recite the prescribed lines with a perfect curtsy, like an emotionless doll. Must I see the very same thing I have seen from my subjects all day long even in my own bedroom?’
But what entered his eyes was an entirely different sight.
As though she had not anticipated his arrival, Sisi’s delicate shoulders flinched in surprise.
With a face plainly showing her confusion, she clumsily began to bend her knees.
The elegant, deep Hofknicks that Esterházy must have taught her was nowhere to be seen; instead, she wavered precariously like a small bird on the verge of toppling over.
“W-welcome, Your Majesty.”
Instead of the set lines, an honest voice that had not passed through any filter of thought slipped out.
At that moment, the emperor’s mask that had been firmly fixed upon Franz Joseph’s lips quietly crumbled.
The fatigue that had weighed on him all day vanished like melting snow, and a warm smile took its place.
‘Ah, thank goodness. You are still the same.’
She was not the perfect empress Esterházy had made. Nor was she the intricate jewel his mother wanted.
She was that very girl who, for his sake, to make him happy, tried her best despite her clumsiness, trembling in fear yet looking up at him with clear eyes.
The Sisi he had fallen in love with was there.
Without hesitation, he strode toward her, gently took her small hand, and helped her to her feet.
“That is enough, Empress. You must have had a tiring day.”
He kissed the back of Sisi’s hand. If he did not do even this, his mother might scold her even more harshly.
“Ah, Your Majesty’s labors cannot possibly compare.”
He cast a brief glance toward Countess Esterházy, who stood to one side of the room.
‘It is the first day. Surely this is enough?’
It was a silent order to withdraw.
Esterházy led the maids away without a sound, and at last the heavy door closed.
The gray world outside was perfectly shut out.
Franz Joseph looked at his wife, who still did not know what to do, and smiled gently once more. Even the awkward silence felt peaceful.
He had returned to being not an emperor, but simply a man with the woman he loved.
This was the only place where Joseph had color.
***
What should I even call this atmosphere?
In any case, thanks to the emperor, I managed to avoid being scolded and let it pass.
From what I’d learned, the imperial couple didn’t change their own clothes or anything like that, so…
Am I supposed to undress him?
Even when I looked around, there was not a single attendant to help us.
He gave a small, awkward cough and touched the button near his collar.
“I should change my clothes now as well. Shall I call your maid?”
“It is all right, Your Majesty.”
“Esterházy is not here now, nor is my mother. So you need not be so stiff, Sisi.”
Do I really have to do it? Me?
When I stood there at a loss, Joseph nodded his chin toward the direction of another room.
“I will go and change.”
While he headed off to change his clothes, I sat on the edge of the bed and thought.
Shouldn’t I do something to keep this awkward silence from continuing?
What should I do?
Aah… I don’t know.
It was unfair enough that I had suddenly fallen into a place like this, but after the suffocating etiquette lessons that had continued all day, every muscle in my body was screaming, and my mind was hazy as if covered in fog…
At the feel of the soft bed, my body began to lean backward without my realizing it.
Even the bed is a different size. Is this the dignity of the imperial family?
It was large enough that even after laying down one body—mine—several more people could probably sleep here, and there were even two fluffy pillows.
There are two pillows…?
As if struck by lightning, my mind snapped awake.
Wait, is today the emperor’s and my wedding night?
Until now, I had managed to endure wearing dresses, putting on makeup, and learning etiquette by thinking of it as acting the role of an empress, but a wedding night isn’t something you can solve with acting alone!
My thoughts tangled in confusion, and my heart began to pound like mad.
What should I do? What am I supposed to do? A way to escape this situation—
The moment I thought that far, the world seemed to spin before my eyes, and then my consciousness cut off with a snap.
Extreme tension and exhaustion had shut down every power source in my body.
***
A short while later, Franz emerged after changing into comfortable indoor clothes and looked around the empty bedroom.
The wife who should have been there was nowhere in sight.
“Sisi?”
Just in case, he slowly approached the bed and opened the heavy canopy curtains.
There, Sisi was fast asleep, completely unaware of the world.
The hair ornament she had not yet managed to remove was slipping down precariously, and her lightly tinted lips were slightly parted as she breathed evenly.
The moment Franz saw that sight, a faint smile mixed with pity and tenderness appeared on his lips.
‘Was she that tired?’
When he thought of Countess Esterházy’s face, of how she must have driven Sisi all day, it was admirable enough that she had endured until now.
Joseph resolved to put her peaceful rest before the duty of the wedding night.
He approached carefully, removed the slippers from Sisi’s feet, lifted her into his arms, and laid her down properly.
Finally, with cautious hands, he removed the ornaments from her hair and placed them on the table beside the bed.
After finishing everything, Joseph lay down beside her as well and silently gazed for a long while at his sleeping wife’s face.
“Sweet dreams, Sisi.”
***
The first thing to wake me was the faint light.
Ah… so it wasn’t a dream.
It felt like the second day at a training camp…
That feeling of hoping this hell would disappear once you opened your eyes, only to realize that, in the end, you couldn’t escape reality.
And then, at the unfamiliar warmth and the steady breathing beside me, goosebumps rose all over my body.
I slowly turned my stiff neck to the side.
There lay Joseph, asleep with a peaceful expression.
What happened last night…?
No way, did we? Did we do it?
I hurriedly lifted the blanket, but I couldn’t find any trace of anything.
“Sisi, are you still tired?”
Newly awakened from sleep, in a husky voice, he spoke the first words of concern I had heard since arriving here.
“I should get up now and begin the day—”
Just then, Joseph gently took my hand and laid me back down.
“No, it is all right. Not yet.”
He pointed to the small bell on the table beside the bed.
“Until I ring that bell, no one may enter this room. Not Esterházy, not my mother.”
At that moment, I realized.
This man had not only tried to suppress and control Sisi.
At times, the imperial power Joseph possessed could also become the most perfect shield to protect Sisi.
This brief morning before the bell rang. It was the only safe zone in this hellish palace that Joseph had created solely for me.
Still holding my hand, he spoke quietly.
“Until yesterday, many people advised me to reconsider this marriage. They said it was ominous from the very beginning. But I told them clearly. There will be no Empress of Austria other than you, Sisi.”
…But I’m not Sisi.
When I sat there blankly, he reached out and gently tucked the hair that had fallen over my cheek behind my ear.
“So do not try to bear that weight alone. Is that not what it means to be husband and wife—to be together?”
Outside the window, the day had fully brightened, and from afar came the sounds of the court busily beginning to move.
Even as Joseph put the mask of the emperor back onto his face, he let out a short sigh, as if reluctant.
“…Now we truly must begin the day.”
He reached out, took the silver bell, and lightly shook it.
Ring—
With the clear, cold sound of the bell, the time that belonged only to the two of us came to an end.
As if it had been a lie, the bedroom door opened soundlessly, and before it stood Countess Esterházy and the maids in the same perfect formation as yesterday. Our brief, peaceful morning had come to an end.
They moved like a well-ordered army, leading me to the bathroom, washing my body with water infused with fragrant oils, and combing my hair.
Having someone wash me for me… might be a little nice.
“Straighten your back, Your Majesty. The posture of the empress is the pillar of the empire.”
Ah, right.
With no choice but to leave my body to Esterházy’s instructions, I sat before the mirror.
While the maids applied makeup to my face and arranged my hair for the event to be held that afternoon, Countess Esterházy stood behind me and began to explain the day’s schedule.
“Before Your Majesty awoke, extra editions containing the official announcement of the court were distributed throughout Vienna.”
She spoke in a businesslike manner, as though making a report.
“The main content is that Her Majesty the Empress has miraculously recovered her health thanks to the fervent prayers of all the people of the empire. We also added that His Majesty the Emperor’s devoted nursing bore fruit. By now, every church in Vienna is likely ringing its bells to celebrate Your Majesty’s recovery.”
Just as I was about to nod to show that I understood—
“Your Majesty.”
Ah, right. Without emotion.
“All of this is for this afternoon, Your Majesty. Because Your Majesty collapsed, we have not yet fully concluded Your Majesty and His Majesty the Emperor’s marriage before God and the people of the empire.”
Countess Esterházy personally fastened the diamond necklace brought by a maid around my neck, then met my eyes directly through the mirror.
“This afternoon, Your Majesty will ride in a carriage with His Majesty the Emperor to St. Stephen’s Cathedral. There, you will hold a mass to complete the marriage vows that were interrupted, and tens of thousands of subjects gathered in the streets will meet Your Majesties.”
She straightened her back again and said,
“Therefore, this morning, we shall rehearse in advance.”
For the shield the emperor had made for me, I had no choice but to continue the play.