Last Will
Third period, just before lunch.
In one more hour, today’s classes would all be over.
Afternoon classes would begin next week, so today would be the last day I could take my classes in comfort this semester.
It was a shame that the time I could spend playing around would decrease, but it couldn’t be helped.
A student’s duty lay in their studies, after all.
For the sake of the future, I had to cultivate myself tirelessly.
I entered the lecture room and looked at Hong Yena, who was standing at the lectern.
She was holding a stack of blank paper.
“The class representative and vice representative, come up front and hand one sheet out to everyone.”
“Yes.”
“Okaay.”
At Hong Yena’s call.
Having succeeded in persuading Min Arin and ended up sitting a little farther back than before, I rose from my seat with her.
We went to the lectern, received the blank sheets, and walked around the lecture room, distributing them to the students in their seats.
“The kids are sitting all over the place, so even handing these out is a hassle.”
“…I agree.”
“How about we find some time to push for assigned seating?”
“Assigned seating? Hmm….”
Perhaps because Min Arin did not particularly like moving around, she unusually saw eye to eye with me.
As she handed out the blank papers to the students, she seemed to sink into thought.
“Wouldn’t the kids push back?”
“They would, of course. When that happens, we can just beat them down with our skills, can’t we?”
“Hmm….”
“If you and I join forces, it’s not like we can’t handle them.”
“That’s true.”
“More importantly.”
“Because we’re members of the Ten Great Families?”
“Exactly. Who would dare defy us?”
“….”
The students nearby who had been eavesdropping on our conversation flinched.
When our eyes met, they desperately shook their heads.
The desperate look in their eyes seemed to be telling me something.
We agree.
A strong denial was a strong affirmation.
“It feels like the kids are in favor too, doesn’t it?”
“…!”
“Then we should think a bit about how to assign the seats.”
“H-Hey, Gyeonwoo? Arin? Maybe hear our opinions first….”
“Aren’t you in favor?”
“Are you saying you oppose what I just said?”
“I-I’m obviously in favor…. But the others might have different opinions….”
“Isn’t everyone in favor?”
“No one’s against it, right?”
“….”
Silence was also affirmation.
No one opposed it.
Min Arin and I decided to set aside some time soon to positively review the idea of assigned seating.
We would eventually have an inter-class match someday, so I thought it might be a good plan for the sake of class unity.
‘Anyway, what is she planning to do with this?’
After sitting down, I lightly examined the blank sheet placed on my desk.
Even when I flipped it over to check the back, I couldn’t find any traces of mana.
From the looks of it, it wasn’t an artifact, but simply ordinary paper.
“Does anyone know what this is?”
“….”
“No one?”
“If someone guesses what it is, Instructor will give them a tasty candy!”
Hong Yena fluttered the paper.
No one could readily answer her question.
I, too, only stared intently at the paper and tried to deduce its identity.
Then, Min Arin opened her mouth.
“Me.”
“All right, Arin. Tell us.”
“Isn’t it a last will?”
“….”
“That’s correct. Yes, this is a last will.”
“Instructor will give Arin a candy!”
Min Arin let out a soft huff as though it was nothing special.
Sitting beside her, I could see her lift her chin and hold her head high.
Meanwhile, the students began to stir at the words “last will.”
Hong Yena calmed them down and explained in a composed voice.
“Death is equal to everyone, and it always comes suddenly. No living being can go against that law of nature, without exception. There are plenty of cases where people die before reaching their given life expectancy. In a way, people live their lives without knowing when, where, or how they will die, all for the sake of eventually dying.”
“….”
“As you all know, hunters keep death closer than anyone. They say people who know how to regulate their physical aging with mana have longer life expectancies, but hunters, who have to take on all sorts of risks, tend to have shorter life expectancies than people who live ordinary lives. Does anyone here know the life expectancy of a hunter?”
“Me.”
“All right, Arin.”
“Thirty-eight.”
“That’s right. According to the statistics released by the Association, the life expectancy of hunters this year is thirty-eight. The fact that it increased by two years compared to last year is encouraging, because it means the actively working generation has grown stronger. Even so, we can’t ignore that it is still a low number. 37.2%.”
“….”
“That’s the probability that a hunter who graduates from the Academy and enters society will die within five years. In other words, one-third of you will die within five years after graduating. Even if I say it like this, it probably won’t feel real to you. You haven’t experienced a life-or-death situation before.”
“….”
“But I told you, didn’t I? Death can come at any time. If the death rate for newly minted members of society is that high, what do you think the mortality rate is like for Academy students?”
“According to last year’s statistics, 18.4%.”
“Yes, thank you for answering. It’s 18.4%. Even though the Academy pays attention to safety, the mortality rate is not low. One in five dies without ever becoming a hunter. Our class has a capacity of fifty, so you could say ten of you will die before graduation. You know that, unlike hunters, you won’t receive a pension even if you die, right? Your deaths would be meaningless, like dogs’ deaths. So try not to die if you can.”
“….”
“But that’s easy to say. Is it really something you can manage just by trying? In the end, death cannot be avoided.”
Hong Yena used unflinching words to instill a sense of warning in the students.
Because of that, an uncomfortable and solemn atmosphere settled over the lecture room.
Even I, who had heard about the reality of hunters from my family, could not go against that atmosphere.
Even so, Hong Yena continued without hesitation.
“What makes such deaths of yours meaningful, at least, is a last will. It leaves traces for your precious people that you existed in this world. During this period, you will write that last will. And you will keep writing one as you live from now on.”
“….”
“According to Association regulations, all hunters are required to write a last will once every half year, and also whenever they set out on a mission where their lives may be in danger. It is no different for you, who aspire to become hunters. You, too, must write wills regularly during the three years you attend the Academy. In other words, this won’t end after writing one today. You will continue writing them from now on.”
“….”
“Afternoon classes begin next week. Afternoon classes will be much more difficult and dangerous than morning classes. From now on, you really may die. So don’t write one as a joke and hand it in. Write it seriously, assuming that you really have died.”
“For those of you writing a will for the first time, Instructor will tell you the basic format that should go into a will, everyone—.”
And so, we ended up writing our wills.
* * *
Hunters live with death closer at hand than anyone else.
It was something I had constantly heard while learning the sword in my family.
That was why Hong Yena’s warning did not cause much of a stir in me.
From five years ago, when I remembered my past life.
I had already steeled myself for death.
I would not waver now.
It would be a lie to say I was not afraid, but without that resolve, I could not move forward.
I would not become a hunter.
Even if I did, I would only die.
The fact that I might kill someone meant that someone might also kill me.
When we were fighting with our lives on the line, if I did not prepare myself for death, I would eventually be killed by my opponent.
A stronger resolve kills resolve.
With a weak resolve, you die.
Ironically, in order to live without dying, I had to accept death.
It was truly paradoxical.
But to live was, in other words, no different from dying.
We are dying.
We live in order to die.
One must not deny that truth.
There are things one only realizes by acknowledging it.
—I do not know when I will die. No, I might die tomorrow. Swing your sword with that mindset, and live until the very moment you die. Focus on each moment, each day, and live faithfully so that you may live a life without regrets. Was my day today worthwhile? Ask yourself that constantly, and establish an unshakable sword in your heart. That is what it means to be prepared for death. It is to make a vow to live without regrets until the day you die.
It was advice my grandfather had once given to Do Si-eun and me from the bottom of his heart.
Because I had engraved that advice deep in my heart.
I was able to maintain an unmoving mind.
Whether I wrote a will while preparing for death, or prepared for death while writing a will.
Unlike the other students, I had already prepared myself for death, so my feelings toward writing a will were calm.
‘Even so, a will, huh….’
Leaving traces that I had lived in this world.
It was something I had never thought about.
While the sound of pens scratching across paper seemed to come from all around me.
I could only glare at the blank sheet, having written nothing on it.
‘What should I write….’
What regrets would remain when I died?
I wasn’t sure.
As someone who tried to live each day to the fullest and without regret, I had nothing that could particularly be called lingering attachment.
I had no desire for fame, and I was not particularly interested in leaving traces behind after my death.
To begin with, if I died, the world’s fate would end there as well.
When the world was going to be destroyed, what use would a will be?
‘All right, let’s just not write one.’
Writing a will was a matter of freedom anyway, and no one else could carelessly look at it.
Although I had prepared myself for death, it wasn’t as if I planned to die right now.
Five years and three years.
Ever since I became aware of my past life five years ago, my goal had been to survive all the incidents that would come crashing down during my three years at the Academy.
My purpose was not to die.
Telling someone like me to write a will was no different from nonsense.
If I were to think about the time when I died, it would be after I graduated from the Academy.
Having decided that, I was about to neatly fold the paper and put it in the envelope.
“Writing a will is a matter of personal freedom, and in reality, there are many hunters who don’t write one simply because it’s a hassle. There are also cases where they take advantage of the fact that no one can carelessly read it because it contains personal information, and submit it only as a formality. Some hunters overestimate their own skill and submit an empty envelope, saying they won’t die anytime soon. But you are students, aren’t you?”
“….”
“As an instructor who must guide you, I intend to check your wills. So let’s not create a situation where someone submits one with nothing written on it and we end up needlessly getting upset at each other, all right?”
…It felt as if she was speaking directly to me.
I stopped folding the paper and, regrettably, had no choice but to give up.
It couldn’t be helped. I had to write something.
─ Last Will ─
Combat Department, Swordsmanship Track
Year 1, Class 17, Number 11, Do Gyeonwoo
I have many things to say, but there isn’t enough space, so I will not say them.
Thank you for everything.
‘…I’d get cursed out if I wrote it like this, wouldn’t I?’
This was the result of trying to write something.
No matter how I thought about it, it seemed better to write it again.
Just then, a shadow fell over my desk.
I looked up at Yu Noeul, who had somehow come to stand in front of me.
She was smiling.
“…Instructor?”
“If you don’t have enough space, tell me anytime. Instructor will bring you as much paper as you want.”
“…No, I was just thinking of starting over from the beginning.”
“I think that’s a good decision too. You know a will isn’t something you write as a joke, right?”
“Yes….”
“Gyeonwoo, do you not have a family?”
“…Both of my parents are alive and well. I have a younger sister too. What about you, Instructor? Is your family doing well?”
“Instructor doesn’t have a family, but now that you ask like that, I suddenly feel like thinking about my deceased mother. Sob….”
“Ah… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it that way….”
“Sorry, that was a lie. She’s alive and well.”
“….”
“But it’s not a lie that Instructor doesn’t have a family. I cut ties with them.”
“Ah, yes….”
“The conversation somehow went off track, but what Instructor wanted to say was that if you can’t think of anything appropriate to write, you should at least write to your family, ‘Thank you for raising me.’”
Yu Noeul liked teasing people.
Flustered by her unexpected prank, I let her leave and gave a hollow laugh.
Soon, I considered writing a letter to my family, as she had advised.
But the sentences would not come out.
‘Mm….’
It was too cliché and embarrassing.
Because my heart wasn’t moved, my hand would not move the way I wanted.
In the end, I could not submit my will even by the time class ended.
Surprisingly, the others were not much different.
Hong Yena said to us:
“Keep in mind that a will is not something you write for yourself, but for the people who will miss you. Those who could not submit it today will have it assigned as homework, so bring it by next Monday. You know you have to put sincerity into it, right? If there is anyone who writes it insincerely, I will deduct points from that person’s midterm grade. I’ll also make them clean the lecture room. Conversely, I will award extra points to anyone who writes one sincerely and well.”
“Tomorrow is the weekend, right? Don’t try to play around too much just because it’s the weekend, and I hope you work diligently on your assignment too! Then, everyone, I’ll see you next week!”
I Became the Childhood Friend of the Middle Boss