‘….’
When I opened my eyes.
I was standing at the scramble crossing, a famous landmark in District 23 of Academy City.
But.
‘Why… did it turn out like this?’
It was utterly different from the scenery I knew.
Sculptures half-buried in the ground, cars piled up like mountains, traffic lights dangling in midair as though they might snap loose at any moment, buildings with their tops blown off or their windows shattered….
And, as if a hole had been gouged clean through the middle, a building with its hamburger shop carved out of it….
The area where the roads named Fantasy and Romance intersected had been mercilessly destroyed.
Here and there were corpses that still retained their shape, or blood and flesh scattered in a grisly mess.
I could only doubt my eyes.
But the sight that made me doubt them even more was….
‘…What the hell.’
Across from where I stood.
I existed there, separately.
‘Why am I over there?’
There was no mistake.
“I” was kneeling with Kang Hanbyeol and the others, as if we were surrounding someone.
And the moment I saw the person collapsed on the ground, hidden among them—
‘…Yeon Haneul!?’
I kicked off the ground at once.
I ran straight toward them and took in Yeon Haneul in detail.
She was….
As if declaring there was no way to save her, she was dying with a hole pierced through her abdomen.
‘Move!’
I couldn’t believe it.
My breath caught, and my heart dropped. I pushed between my friends and tried to touch Yeon Haneul’s body.
But my hand passed through her and swept through empty air.
Only then did I realize that I was an existence without substance.
At the same time, I was bewildered.
‘What the hell? What’s wrong with my body?’
I couldn’t understand the situation.
I had to save Yeon Haneul somehow….
All I could do was fret helplessly.
Meanwhile.
“…I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Haneul.”
Unlike Kang Hanbyeol and the others, who had their heads bowed solemnly without taking any action.
“I,” who had been sniffling beside Yeon Haneul, parted his lips.
Guilt was buried in his voice.
“If I… if I hadn’t turned away, if I’d gotten a little closer to you… this wouldn’t have happened….”
With tears and snot streaming down his face.
“I” sobbed.
I frowned as I looked at “myself,” who seemed to have no backbone at all.
‘What are you doing with my face? Pathetic bastard…. Don’t cry. What right do you have to cry?’
If I could.
I wanted to beat the hell out of the guy who hadn’t even managed to protect Yeon Haneul properly.
The more I looked at his face, the more my anger surged.
Then, because of the presence of “myself.”
I was able to put a little distance between myself and the situation I had been immersed in.
My thoughts grew calm.
‘Am I… dreaming?’
Was it because I had recently tried to dig too deeply into the memories of my past life?
Perhaps….
That was it.
Because.
‘This was a scene that appeared in the game too.’
I searched my memory.
The sight I was seeing now was extremely similar to what happened right after clearing Yeon Haneul’s episode.
Having become frustrated with and despaired of the world, she transformed into the Witch of Calamity, destroyed part of Academy City, and, as if mocked by the world, met her death in this very place where Fantasy and Romance intersected….
However, in the game, it only showed her closing her eyes in solitude. “I” was never brought into focus.
‘Is this… something my subconscious created because I was curious about the next scene? Or….’
Was it something that had actually existed?
Unable to reach a clear conclusion, I decided to watch quietly.
“I’m so sorry, Haneul.”
“I” was still crying.
To me, it was nothing but unpleasant.
‘If you’re sorry, then don’t do things you have to be sorry for. If Haneul was your elementary school classmate, you should’ve taken care of her properly. Then she wouldn’t have lived such an unhappy life. Useless bastard.’
It made my blood boil.
It was lamentable that I couldn’t intervene.
I clicked my tongue.
And then, at that moment.
“Ah….”
“Haneul….”
Yeon Haneul regained consciousness.
She lifted her eyelids with difficulty and looked up at “me.”
Then she tried to move her lips, as if she wanted to say something.
But perhaps because she had exhausted all her strength, her body did not obey her.
In the end.
‘….’
Without leaving behind a single word.
Yeon Haneul breathed her last.
At the very end, she seemed to close her eyes peacefully, as if accepting death, and merely smiled softly.
Even if it wasn’t real, my heart felt heavy.
Meanwhile, “I” forcibly twisted his sorrowful face into a smile.
“…Rest in peace, Haneul. If… if there’s a next life… and if you’re all right with it… then, I want to become your friend. I’ll definitely protect you. No matter what….”
‘What next life?’
“I” mourned Yeon Haneul’s death.
I truly didn’t like it.
Feeling something close to self-loathing, I sneered inwardly.
‘Huh?’
That was when the world changed.
Before I knew it, I was standing in an empty, pure-white world.
No.
‘That’s….’
It wasn’t completely empty.
Far in the distance, I saw a pillar of light soaring high into the world.
The light shone with a brilliant yet gentle platinum radiance.
From there—
I’m here.
Use me.
An earnest voice reached me.
As if bewitched by that sound, I walked toward the pillar of light.
At last, just as I was about to reach out my hand.
“…Huh?”
I woke up from sleep.
An unfamiliar ceiling came into view.
Beside me, Yeon Haneul was sleeping soundly in the nude.
“….”
I blinked blankly.
Then I muttered.
“I feel like I had some kind of dream….”
What kind of dream had I had?
Unfortunately, I couldn’t remember.
* * *
Some time after returning the Ultramarine Sword.
From time to time, I would hear auditory hallucinations.
I’m here.
‘…Again.’
Geumgang Academy, a private training room inside the Training Hall.
I had been in the middle of training hard to break in the sword I had borrowed from the Academy Vault, and yet….
At the sound that suddenly brushed through my mind, I had no choice but to falter.
‘Why do I keep hearing it?’
At first, I had dismissed it as a hallucination caused by simple fatigue.
But lately, I had been thinking….
If there wasn’t something wrong with me, then it didn’t seem like I was mishearing things.
It might be a sound I was actually hearing—for instance, someone’s thoughts.
“….”
If so, who was the owner of that androgynous voice, neither clearly female nor male?
In order to solve that question.
Recently, whenever I heard the voice, I would look around.
But I had gained nothing.
Because the voice could be heard anywhere.
Even when I was alone in a closed-off space like this….
That being the case, I couldn’t pinpoint its identity.
Judging solely by the distinctive voice, however, it was at least probably not someone I knew.
‘And yet it says it’s here…. Where is “here”? If you’re going to tell me, at least tell me properly.’
Was it trying to toy with me?
For something like that, there seemed to be sincerity in the voice….
I didn’t know.
“At this rate, I won’t be able to concentrate either….”
The flow, my immersion, had been broken.
I put away the sword in my hand and decided to clear my head for a bit.
I left the training room to get some air and headed up to the roof of the building.
There.
“Ah….”
I met Min Arin.
Having run into each other unexpectedly, we both flinched.
It was awkward.
“Did you come to train? Or to prepare for midterms?”
“…Both. What about you?”
“Me too. Both. Then I came out for a bit to get some air.”
“Mm, I see….”
“….”
Min Arin and I had been in the same class in our first year, and we had been very close.
But after we advanced to second year.
To be precise, starting from when I began dating.
She began avoiding me, and I, who belatedly realized her feelings, also became cautious around her. Before we knew it, the distance between us had grown.
“What about Yeon Haneul? I don’t see her for once.”
“Haneul is at the student council….”
It had been quite a long time since the two of us had met alone like this.
And it wasn’t just that.
Looking back, I didn’t think we had even had a proper conversation since the semester began.
Even when Yeon Haneul and I got married, she had practically been buried among our friends and only briefly offered her congratulations.
Because of that.
“….”
Both I and Min Arin.
Couldn’t help but feel awkward in a situation where we were talking alone.
The conversation simply wouldn’t continue.
We watched each other’s reactions.
At some point, we were just silently having a staring contest.
By now….
“Huh? You closed your eyes. That means I won, right?”
“Hmph, what are you talking about? You closed yours first. I only closed mine because you closed yours.”
I found myself laughing for no reason.
To the point that it was absurd we had felt the need to be conscious of it….
In truth, the relationship between Min Arin and me hadn’t changed at all.
As if nothing had happened, we returned to the same relationship as before and lightly exchanged jokes.
In the middle of that, she asked.
“So? How’s married life? Are you happy?”
There was a nuance to it as if she were sounding out my true feelings.
In reality, she probably was.
I felt like I understood now.
I lightly shrugged my shoulders.
Then I chose my words.
“I’m happy. Very.”
“….”
“Before, every day was fun, but lately, I think it’s been even more fun.”
“Even though you left your family? Even though people are badmouthing you?”
“It’s not that it doesn’t bother me, but I’m still living with satisfaction.”
Perhaps.
To Min Arin, who had once harbored romantic feelings for me, those might have been words I shouldn’t say—words that would hurt her.
But since I had not chosen her, if I answered with a clumsy lie on purpose, claiming it was to avoid provoking her or to comfort her, I felt that would be an even worse thing to do.
It would be nothing more than self-satisfaction from not wanting to look bad and wanting to remain a good person.
Hypocrisy, and cruelly giving her false hope.
I thought that honestly telling her was the better path for someone who had wanted my heart.
That was what I believed.
Fortunately.
“Oh, really? Don’t you ever get tired of it? You’re unbelievable. Seriously, unbelievable. You just have to keep rubbing salt in the wound until the very end.”
It seemed my judgment hadn’t been wrong.
Min Arin let out a soft laugh, as if she had expected as much.
At the same time, her resigned face somehow looked relieved as well.
Inwardly, I felt my worry ease.
“Well, who told you to ask? And how could I get tired of Haneul? Every time I see her, she feels new to me.”
“Ugh. I’m going to puke. Would you stop bragging about your girlfriend—no, your wife? You’re blinded by love so badly…. Once those rose-colored glasses come off, you’re going to regret it.”
“I don’t know…. They probably won’t come off. Won’t they last my whole life?”
“Hmph, you never know. Right now, you’re just newlyweds. And even if things go the way you say, you’re definitely going to regret it.”
“Why?”
“Because you didn’t even realize there was a woman around you who was better than Yeon Haneul, and you let her slip away. You’ll realize it later and regret it terribly, won’t you? Not that it’ll matter by then. You’re a married man now.”
“Huh….”
Min Arin tossed back her red hair and puffed out her chest for me to see.
Looking at her as she raised her nose with brimming confidence, I could only smile bitterly.
Then, she provoked me.
“Just you wait. You’ll regret it.”
“Sure. I’ll wait and see.”
Min Arin poked me repeatedly.
I held my ground so as not to be pushed back and accepted her provocation.
Soon.
“I’m going now. I should go back and train. I rested too long.”
“You’re leaving? Take care. Work hard.”
Min Arin stepped back with her hands clasped behind her back.
Turning around along with her red hair, she moved farther away.
I saw her off as she left.
But all of a sudden.
“Still, it’s a shame. I was hoping you’d be a little unhappy. Hearing that you’re happy really annoys me.”
“….”
Min Arin stopped walking.
Standing just before she passed through the rooftop door, she turned only half her head and spoke to me.
I clicked my tongue.
“Isn’t that a bit harsh?”
“Hmph, harsh? Just take this much as me being sulky.”
“Yeah, yeah, I got it.”
Min Arin snorted.
Then, as she disappeared beyond the door, she left behind one last remark.
“Congratulations on your marriage. Sincerely. I hope you’ll live happily from now on.”
“…Thanks.”
I answered briefly.
* * *
She had thought she had completely given up her feelings for Do Gyeonu by now.
But apparently, that had been a misconception.
Having run into him by chance on the rooftop, Min Arin felt her heart pounding.
She was excited.
At the same time, she hated him.
“You jerk….”
That was why.
The truth was, she wanted to tell him outright.
I like you, you oblivious idiot.
I like you so much. Because I like you so much…
Even if I’m not first, even if you don’t like me…
Please, couldn’t you accept me, even as second?
Min Arin did not entirely lack the urge to throw away her pride and cling to him, no matter how pathetic it might be.
It felt too unfair to end like this, without even confessing, without ever being given the chance to show herself off, fizzling out in incomplete combustion.
“Hmph, must be nice being happy all by yourself. You should have just lied instead… Then I would have felt relieved. See, I knew it, serves you right… I could have told you to change your mind even now… Sob…”
So even if she had to confess like that.
She wanted to burn herself down to the very end.
She wanted Do Gyeonu to look at her.
Even if only for a moment…
She wanted him to think of her.
Even if she were rejected, that would have been fine.
Because then she would have been able to see him troubled because of her, his head filled entirely with thoughts of her.
But Min Arin gave up.
“There are so many men in the world… Half the population is men… I’m sure if I looked, there would be plenty of men way better than him… Why, why should someone like me cling to him? What am I lacking? Hmph, the two of them can go live happily ever after for all I care. Just you wait…”
Do Gyeonu and Yeon Haneul were both her friends.
She did not want to steal her friend’s man.
She did not want to lose a precious friend, and a girl with whom she was engaged in fair competition, because of that.
Most of all.
“I’m Min Arin. Just you wait… Do Gyeonu, you’re really going to regret this someday.”
Who was she?
She was Min Arin, the little griffin of the arcane Min family.
And someone like her would throw away all her pride over one man and become the second woman?
Absolutely absurd.
She always had to be the best.
She had to be first.
But if she abandoned her dignity, her pride, how could she still be Min Arin?
That would be someone else.
A separate existence.
It would no longer be her.
In the first place, it would be denying from the roots the path she had walked until now as a mage.
“I’m Min Arin. I’m Min Arin…”
If she weighed Do Gyeonu against herself.
If she weighed Do Gyeonu against magic.
Then to her, she herself was more precious.
Magic was more precious.
That was why she did not confess.
“Hmph.”
Min Arin wiped at the corners of her eyes with the back of her hand.
She would not cry anymore.
She would become a great mage.
She would become a splendid, magnificent Min Arin.
With that resolve held in her heart, she returned to the private training room.
“Yeon Haneul did it, so you think I can’t? I can do it now.”
And thus, with heartbreak as her foundation.
She finally reached the 5th tier.
I Became the Childhood Friend of the Mid-Boss