6.
Morning sunlight seeped through the curtains and tickled my eyelids.
“Young lady, it is time to wake up.”
A familiar voice. Helen’s voice, gentle yet firm.
“...Just five more minutes.”
“You said the same thing yesterday.”
Even though I, the daughter of a count, had spoken, she pointed that out as sharply as a knife. I pretended not to hear and pulled the blanket over my head, but Helen likewise pretended not to see what I had done and simply tugged the blanket away.
“Please get up.”
When I looked around in a daze, the curtains had already been drawn, and another maid had prepared the water for washing.
At this point, there was no helping it. Helen really was diligent.
“Young lady, this afternoon you are scheduled to attend a tea party at the Marquis of Ceylon’s estate...”
“I know, Helen.”
Helen was telling me again the schedule I already knew. Without realizing it, I puffed out my cheeks.
Another tea party.
Spring was the season of society. It was a fact I knew all too well after having endured it to exhaustion.
But the endless procession of tea parties since last month was making my head throb. From the moment I stepped down from the carriage to every word I spoke and every fragment of a smile I showed, I had to pay attention to everything. What an aggravating time. Who on earth would welcome such a thing?
“But Helen. There’s no end to it.”
I puffed out my cheeks as I got out of bed. Yet even seeing me like that, Helen merely smiled gently.
“You have changed, young lady.”
“...?”
“In the past, you would not even have said such a thing.”
“Hm...”
Had I?
Before, I had been the type to swallow my complaints even when I had them.
After all, pretending to be perfect with a smile at all times was all I had ever learned.
Suddenly, a man came to mind.
A shabby alley.
The counselor in a place that, until I gifted them, had not even possessed a cup to serve a glass of water in.
Thinking of him made me feel strangely spiteful.
These days, I call him “Teacher.” It was the first time I had used such a title since my childhood tutor.
And yet, even though I was personally addressing him that way, what came back from him was always the same stiff title.
“Perhaps because they are tea leaves brought by Lady Levantia.”
“Perhaps because it is a teacup brought by Lady Levantia.”
“Perhaps because Lady Levantia brewed it herself.”
“Hmph.”
A short laugh escaped me without my realizing it. But when I thought of it again, my heart grew uneasy.
How long am I supposed to remain “Lady Levantia”?
As if I do not already hear that title to the point of nausea in society, must I hear it from him as well?
I even call him Teacher, so even if he cannot go as far as Miss Chloe, would Lady Chloe not be acceptable?
“...Helen.”
“Please speak.”
Sitting in front of the dressing table, I asked as if it were nothing important.
“You know. Do you happen to know a way to make someone call me by my given name instead of my family name?”
“...By your given name?”
“So, for example. If I wanted someone who calls me ‘Lady Levantia’ to call me ‘Miss Chloe’ or ‘Lady Chloe’ instead...”
Beyond the mirror on the dressing table, I could see Helen. Her expression was as indifferent as usual, but I could see the faint hint of a smile on her lips.
In case she misunderstood, I made myself very clear.
“This is purely a question about how to conduct oneself in society. I am not yet perfect enough to say I know everything, after all.”
“...”
Helen calmly brushed my hair while looking at me through the mirror.
Her eyes seemed to say she already knew everything.
Pretending not to notice the little prickling ache in one corner of my heart, I lowered my gaze.
Thankfully, Helen did not pry any further. Only, the hand brushing my hair became a touch gentler.
“If I were to speak in general terms, I suppose you could ask the other person. ‘Teacher. You may call me more comfortably.’ Like that.”
“...”
Seeing Helen imitate my manner of speaking made irritation surge up inside me.
I was sure she had been a little more rigid before. When had she become like this?
Ah, perhaps around the time she recommended the counseling office to me.
Turning my attention away from the prickling in my heart, I considered Helen’s words.
Ask him first.
That was somewhat...
“Isn’t that... a bit much?”
For me to say something like that first was difficult in various ways.
No, that was it. It was a matter concerning the dignity of the Levantia count family. It had absolutely nothing to do with my feelings.
But I merely moved my lips, and in the end, I said nothing until I was fully ready to go out.
The fact that my ears in the mirror were slightly red was...
“It must be because of the morning sunlight.”
***
The carriage came to a stop in a shabby alley.
Inside the carriage, Helen was looking at me.
“Young lady, if you are going to attend the tea party, you should be nearby in advance...”
“I know. But if I want to check whether the tea leaves I gifted him last time are being properly stored, there is no helping it.”
“...”
“Even if he locked them away, tea leaves are weak against moisture, aren’t they? What if mold grows on them? He does not seem like the type to pay attention to such things.”
“Young lady, it has only been two days since you gave them to him.”
“Two days is enough time for mold to grow.”
“Mold will not grow in two days in this season.”
“...It might.”
When I stubbornly insisted, Helen did not refute me. She merely smiled instead of sighing.
I felt as if I knew what that smile meant, which made it bother me even more, but I pretended not to notice and opened the carriage door.
It was a slightly late morning.
In front of the place with the small sign that read [Isaac Psychological Counseling Office], there was no one.
That they accepted only three clients a day was common knowledge among all their customers by now. At this hour, they should have long since closed for the day.
But I was different.
I had given him expensive teacups, and I had given him precious tea leaves.
Above all, as far as I knew, I was the only person who had ever received three consecutive counseling sessions in one day at this place. It was something no one else had accomplished.
With that much, if not special treatment... then at least some kind of different treatment would naturally be expected, would it not?
Filled with confident assurance, I stood before the shop door.
Ignoring the sign brazenly posted on the door that read, “Closed for Today.”
Jingle—
I opened the door and went in.
The familiar sofa. The familiar desk.
On the desk sat the teacup set I had gifted him, and beside it, the box stamped with the Levantia family seal and secured with a lock was resting neatly in place.
“Hm... It doesn’t look as though anyone else has used them.”
While I swept my gaze over the interior, he raised his head from beyond the desk, where he had been writing something in a notebook.
“Ah, ‘Lady Levantia,’ you’re here?”
...Again with Lady Levantia.
I am calling you Teacher, am I not?
Has it never occurred to you that by now, I might allow you to call me by my name?
A small surge of indignation rose within me, but I did not let it show on my face.
As usual, I smiled demurely and moved toward the sofa.
“Mr. Counselor... no, Teacher, you seem to be free today.”
Softly, naturally. I walked slowly in that way and sat down across from him.
No, I tried to sit down.
The moment I was about to sit, he hurriedly rose to his feet and wore a troubled expression.
“I am sorry to say this, but...”
“Hm?”
“Counseling for today has already closed...”
My body stiffened in an awkward half-sitting posture.
Closed?
Even though I came?
To me, the only client who had given him teacups, given him tea leaves, carefully taught him each and every movement involved in drinking tea, and even received counseling three times in one day?
I barely managed to keep my lips from jutting out in a pout.
If I let it show, I would lose. The daughter of the venerable Count Levantia family could not reveal that she was disappointed just because she failed to receive a single counseling session.
I spoke with a light smile.
“Would it not be possible even for me? We could simply have a cup of tea and talk for a moment...”
“No.”
A knife-sharp refusal without the slightest hesitation.
I could tell that if I asked again, it would become pleading rather than requesting.
“I see.”
I nodded and turned around, barely holding onto the smile that was about to crumble.
When I came out of the shop, Helen was waiting with the carriage door still open.
Though she said nothing, it was as if she had known from the beginning that things would turn out this way.
“You have returned, young lady.”
“...”
Without a word, I climbed into the carriage.
Soon the door closed, and the carriage slowly began moving toward the Marquis of Ceylon’s estate.
I looked only out the window, not wanting the scratch on my heart to be discovered. From the shabby alley to the central district. From the central district to the manors of the nobility.
Then Helen spoke quietly.
“He shows the same attitude no matter who the other person is.”
“...That is true.”
It was laughable.
That this one sentence alone eased my heart ever so slightly.
If he was the same to everyone, then it meant he had not refused me because it was me.
It was not as though I was angry at being rejected or anything, but in any case, his consistent attitude softened my mood.
Ah, yes.
I had also confirmed that the tea leaves were safe.
I had not opened them, but realistically, there was no way mold would grow in just two days.
Turning my gaze toward the distant view outside the window, I quietly puffed out my cheeks.
“Next time, I just need to go a little earlier.”
Then I recalled them.
The things he had said during counseling.
His sweet voice that reached my ears in the middle of our sessions.
As distant as if I had heard it in a dream. And yet, words that stirred my heart.
“Because there is no way that was a lie.”
I had clearly heard it, after all.
What he thought of me.