“He is my… benefactor.”
After much deliberation, Cecilia gave her answer, but for some reason, she did not feel relieved.
Benefactor.
There was no word more convenient than this to define her relationship with Ashen.
He had helped her.
She would repay the debt she owed him.
Once she did, she could live without paying him any more mind.
It should have been such a refreshing, clean-cut relationship, and yet…
‘Why does that bother me?’
As if a tiny pebble had gotten into her shoe, this very moment bothered her.
At her answer, Euphoria narrowed her eyes and looked at Cecilia.
A gaze that seemed to see right through her, like a snake’s.
Feeling burdened by that gaze, Cecilia unconsciously lowered her eyes.
“Hmm. So that’s where the problem starts.”
Seeing Cecilia’s reaction, Euphoria gave a small nod as if she understood.
Rising from her seat, Euphoria placed both hands on Cecilia’s cheeks.
Their eyes met, and Cecilia could no longer look away.
Euphoria whispered to Cecilia.
“You’re a liar. And a liar who even deceives herself, at that.”
“Pardon? What do you…”
When Cecilia answered in a flustered tone, a smile settled on Euphoria’s lips.
“If you truly considered him your benefactor, you wouldn’t have come all the way here. You would have simply bought some suitable gift somewhere and gone to see him.”
“That’s…”
“But what are you doing right now? You came to me and started agonizing over how you should speak to him. Well? Am I wrong?”
Cecilia could not say a word in response to Euphoria.
She wanted to deny it, but her subconscious was admitting it.
Euphoria’s words were the truth.
Euphoria removed her hands from Cecilia’s cheeks and looked at her with a serious expression.
“Listen carefully. Right now, I’m giving you a choice. If you want, I can give you a simple solution regardless of what’s in your heart. Buy a reasonably expensive gift, go to him, and say, ‘Thank you!’ in a charming way. But if you sincerely want advice, I can’t say anything. I don’t have time to advise a liar who doesn’t even know her own heart.”
Euphoria withdrew her gaze from Cecilia and sat back down.
For a moment, silence flowed between the three people in the room.
In the end, the one to break the silence was Cecilia.
“…I’ll be going now.”
“Sure. Think about it some more.”
Without even looking at Cecilia as she left, Euphoria merely gave a slight nod.
Eleonore tried to follow Cecilia, but Euphoria caught her by the shoulder.
“Leave her be, Eleonore. Children need time to think for themselves.”
“Is… that so?”
“Yes. Especially in a situation like that. More importantly, Eleonore. Since you’re here anyway, why don’t you chat with me? For example, are there any male students who are your type?”
“I respectfully decline!”
“Oh, you’re no fun.”
Laughing at the horrified Eleonore, Professor Euphoria looked toward the door Cecilia had gone through.
With a warm gaze unlike her usual one.
**
About thirty minutes had passed since Cecilia left Euphoria’s office.
She was pacing the corridor in front of the Humilitas dormitory.
Even as she walked to organize her thoughts, her heart only wavered and showed no sign of settling.
A liar who even deceives herself.
Professor Euphoria had said that, and Cecilia agreed.
But knowing that changed nothing.
‘What is my true heart?’
A dormitory mate? A rival who would take classes with her? Or a relationship between a man and a woman?
‘What I hold isn’t such a simple emotion.’
What she held was something deeper, something that could not be expressed in words…
Just as her thoughts were growing deeper, the sudden sensation of colliding with something brought Cecilia back to reality.
Looking around, it seemed she had bumped into a student coming from the alley on the left.
Realizing this, Cecilia reflexively lowered her head.
“Ah, I’m sorry.”
From the other side, a familiar voice answered her.
“No, it’s my fault. Sorry, huh?”
When she raised her head, Cecilia found herself facing healthy coppery skin and golden eyes.
Her name was surely…
‘Was it Lena?’
One of the two people who went around with Ashen, and one of those she had tried to recruit into her faction.
‘If this woman is nearby…’
Could that mean Ashen was nearby as well?
She hurriedly looked around, but unfortunately, Ashen was nowhere to be seen.
“He isn’t here.”
A single remark slipped from Cecilia’s lips, along with an unconscious sense of relief.
But when Lena heard it, her eyes flared.
“Don’t tell me you’re looking for Ashen. You’re not going to do something again, are you?”
“…Do something?”
“You made things difficult for Ashen before!”
“…It’s true that I was at fault, but still, that’s a bit harsh…”
“Do I look like I’m trying not to be harsh? Because of you, Ashen—”
In the middle of speaking, Lena suddenly glanced around, then whispered into Cecilia’s ear.
“Couldn’t keep the ‘secret,’ you know?”
“Ah.”
Only then did Cecilia understand what Lena was talking about and let out a small exclamation.
The power Ashen had used when he saved her last time.
Before using it, he had told her that she must never tell anyone.
So she had kept silent, but apparently Lena was an exception.
‘Well, the two of them are that close, so it’s not strange.’
Yes, that must be it.
Her head understood it immediately.
And yet, why…
‘Why does this bother me so much?’
Just the fact that Lena knew the secret she had barely come to know made Cecilia feel as though something had congealed in her chest.
“You call it a secret, yet you speak of it so easily.”
At the sharp tone that slipped out before she realized it, Lena’s eyes narrowed upward at the corners.
“You knew about it too, didn’t you? That’s why I whispered, and you’re still unhappy?”
“If it were me, even if I knew you already knew, I wouldn’t have brought it up first.”
This was unreasonable.
Cecilia knew that much herself.
Even so, just seeing Lena’s dumbfounded expression somehow made her feel as though her chest had opened up.
“I thought so before, but you and I really don’t get along.”
“The feeling is mutual.”
The two glared at each other.
Lena’s golden eyes, reminiscent of a wolf’s, stared straight into Cecilia’s deep green eyes.
Normally, Cecilia would have immediately felt fear under Lena’s gaze, but this time, she did not want to avoid it.
“Fine, let’s say I don’t say it out loud. So what? He had to use that power because of you, so what good does keeping your mouth shut do?”
“Th-that was an emergency! And you must have—”
“Sorry, but I’m different from you. I saw that power while resolving a crisis together with Ashen. On top of that, Ashen later told me himself what kind of power it was.”
“That’s…!”
Cecilia covered her mouth with her hand to stop the words that were about to burst out.
‘That was dangerous.’
If she had made a mistake, she might have unconsciously said that she was jealous.
But jealous? Why on earth?
‘Could it be…’
Was she jealous of this woman?
‘That can’t be!’
Why would she have to feel jealous when looking at this woman?
She herself had far more than this woman did.
The other party was a commoner, and she was a noble.
There was no way she would envy this woman merely because she had someone to whom she could truly open her heart.
‘Ah.’
When her thoughts reached that point, Cecilia had no choice but to admit it.
‘I am jealous of this woman.’
Of Lena, this woman who could lay everything bare with Ashen.
Once she admitted it, her thoughts quickly fell into order.
What she had wanted was not a simple relationship between a man and a woman. Nor was it an ordinary relationship between companions.
It was simply a relationship where they could reveal everything to each other.
A relationship where they could share secrets they could not even tell their families, and be comforted for them.
She had merely wanted to become that.
Realizing that, a hollow laugh slipped from her lips.
“Wh-what? Why are you laughing all of a sudden?”
“…Could I become that too?”
“What?”
“Could I become someone to him the way you are?”
Her voice was so small that it would be hard to hear without concentrating, but just saying it made Cecilia feel her face flush bright red.
Lena stared at her for a moment, then soon let out a snort of laughter.
“You’re finally being a little honest. Why don’t you act like that normally?”
“Be quiet.”
“And I’m not the one who should answer your question. You should ask him yourself. Right, Ashen?”
“Pardon?”
At Lena’s words, Cecilia raised her head in shock.
In the alley Lena had come from, Ashen was leaning against the wall, watching the two of them.
At that fact, Cecilia pointed at him with a trembling finger.
“Wh-when on earth did you…”
“Around ‘Could I become that too?’ I was training with Senior, but she didn’t come back no matter how long I waited, so I came after her.”
When Ashen answered calmly, Cecilia looked at Lena with a gaze that asked, Did you know?
“Of course I knew. It’s a basic quality of a warrior. Besides, things like this should be resolved directly between the people involved, right?”
A mischievous smile appeared at the corners of Lena’s mouth.
Seeing it, betrayal rose in Cecilia’s eyes, but Lena merely shrugged.
Meanwhile, Ashen had already approached and was looking straight at Cecilia.
When his sharp gray eyes looked at her, she wanted to hide immediately, but unfortunately, there was nowhere to run.
“So, Cecilia, you want to become close to me too, right?”
“Y-yes. That’s right.”
Ashen stroked his chin as if thinking for a moment, then soon nodded to Cecilia.
“There’s nothing bad about that. If possible, it’s better for me to stay close to someone who knows my secret.”
“R-right?”
“So, Cecilia.”
“Yes?”
“Would you become my friend?”
Looking at Ashen’s hand extended toward her, Cecilia stood blankly for a moment.
Friend.
It was a word that might be somewhat distant from the relationship she had wanted.
Even so, the fact that the other party had proposed it himself somehow made her happy.
“All right, friend.”
‘Let’s start from there.’
Thinking that to herself, Cecilia took Ashen’s hand in hers.
A firm but not unpleasant sensation.
For some reason, she rather liked that feeling.
**
The Astrum branch of the War Order, Joshua’s room.
Joshua slowly turned to the next page of the report.
His fingers were slow, but the eyes scanning the documents were as persistent as a beast of prey seeking its quarry.
A long time passed like that.
After examining the final page of the report, Joshua tossed it into the trash bin and spoke in an indifferent tone.
“That Ramsey bastard disappoints me.”
He had thought the man fairly talented and made him a spy, yet all the information he had gathered was ordinary.
That alone was unsatisfactory, but there was something else that displeased him even more.
‘Content has been omitted.’
Joshua examined his dagger out of habit and sank into thought.
Certainly, the contents of the report were natural. Looking at the contents alone, there was no reason to be suspicious.
But his instincts were telling him.
Something was missing from this report.
Someone else might dismiss such a thought as mere paranoia, but not Joshua.
For a man who had lived his entire life on the battlefield, instinct was a more excellent informant than anything else.
‘Who interfered? Ramsey himself? Or that monster of a headmaster? If not, was it the killer of royalty?’
The faces of several people flashed through Joshua’s mind, but he could not be certain any one of them was the answer.
‘As expected, one informant isn’t enough.’
He needed a more useful informant, one who could approach them more easily.
The moment he thought that, someone knocked on the door.
“Enter.”
When Joshua spoke in a low tone, the door opened and a paladin of the War Order entered.
In his hands was a parchment sealed with a large seal.
The moment Joshua saw that seal, he bared his teeth and smiled.
“It’s finally here. Bring it.”
No sooner had he finished speaking than the paladin carefully brought the parchment to the desk.
Joshua immediately tore it open.
He slowly read down the contents of the parchment, and his eyes gleamed.
At the killing intent overflowing from that alone, the paladin unconsciously took a step back.
“The Grand Patriarch has personally granted permission. Good. Now I can use ‘that’ as I please.”
Looking at the parchment with eyes that flashed like a beast that had found its prey, Joshua smiled.
“Now then, shall you show me what you can do, ‘Hero’?”