Episode 88
The conversation with the count continued for another hour or so after that. Of course, it was mainly the count and Sasha who did the talking. Isaac merely responded perfunctorily from time to time, letting most of their conversation pass him by. It was all he could do just to suppress the resentment he felt toward the father he had met again for the first time in a year.
The conversation, which had made him wonder when on earth it would end, finally seemed to draw to a close when Sasha naturally let it show that she was a little tired. As soon as they left the drawing room, Sasha saw the servants waiting for them and calmly said to Isaac, “You said all the way here that you wanted to show me the garden. Aren’t you going to, Isaac?”
Because of the conversation just now, Isaac’s nerves were more on edge than usual. When Isaac did not answer, Sasha, as if it did not matter, slipped her arm through his and turned in the opposite direction without hesitation. Only then did Isaac realize what Sasha intended, and he headed toward the garden at the back.
“Realistically, it’s impossible to hold a wedding within a week. He must have simply said it. He’s doing this because he finds me offensive. After not setting foot here even once since the funeral, I’ve shown up now saying I’ll accept the title and the inheritance.”
As soon as they reached a quiet spot in the garden, Isaac spoke as though he were spitting out what he had been holding back all this time. At his claim that the count had merely said exaggerated nonsense because he found Isaac hateful, Sasha tilted her head to one side.
Well. As Sasha, who had focused more intently than anyone on the conversation with the count just now, could not agree.
“No, Captain. His Lordship was serious. He said they were already working on the conservatory in the mansion. If he had merely said it on a whim as you claim, Captain, he would have kept needling you as though threatening you. He wouldn’t have held on to me and explained this and that about the marriage customs of the count’s family.”
“……”
“You didn’t say a word from the middle onward. You weren’t really listening to our conversation, were you?”
Her tone was not particularly reproachful. Even so, Isaac turned his head away sharply, his face flushed red, unable to meet Sasha’s eyes.
“In any case, His Lordship is serious, Captain. I think he has probably been exchanging letters with the Dowager Countess all along while preparing at the same time. If there is any relief to be found, it is that the ceremony will be small precisely because it is being rushed. He said it would be held only with family, without inviting outsiders separately. His Lordship is probably taking into account the wedding that will be held in the capital.”
“……”
“In a way, it is a situation where we have nothing to say and is a little embarrassing. It is bewildering, but we were the same in trying to get the wedding over with first in a slipshod way.”
Isaac did not answer her, showing only his profile the entire time. Whether he did or not, Sasha spoke in a quiet, methodical voice, as though objectively sorting out the situation.
Whatever the case, it was not a situation they could refuse. Apart from the fact that, as she had pointed out, their side had also intended only to notify them.
“His Lordship promised, didn’t he? That as soon as the ceremony is held here, he will immediately petition Her Majesty the Queen.”
“……”
“Perhaps you may be summoned to the palace before we even hold the wedding in the capital, Captain.”
Whether Isaac answered or not, Sasha continued speaking.
As if telling him to face his situation squarely, regardless of the confusion, in a calm tone.
Isaac looked at her composed face, feeling miserable in more ways than one. Soon, he roughly dragged his large palm down from his cheek to his chin.
“I’m sorry.”
The first thing to come from the lips that his callused palm had swept over was an apology.
Isaac turned back from the side as if he had been evading her, and looked at her directly.
“For what?”
At Isaac’s apology, Sasha asked back with an innocent-looking face, “For what?”
Isaac was a little dumbfounded. Of course, he had not expected her to feel as much resentment toward the count as he did, but he was simply amazed by how astonishingly calm she was.
Come to think of it, Sasha had been like that from the beginning. From the moment they first met, no matter what emotions he felt, had she not always judged the situation strictly from her own position?
But back then, it had quite literally been their first meeting. We, now, are a little more than we were then.
……A little more.
“That we suddenly have to hold two weddings? That in the count’s family, the signet ring serves in place of a wedding ring, so there was no need to have separate wedding rings made in the first place? Or else……”
“No. Not something like that.”
“Or else.”
Whether Isaac cut her off or not, Sasha calmly continued.
“That I have to wear the wedding dress the Dowager Countess wore on the day of the wedding?”
“Miss Grayson.”
Unable to endure it, Isaac took one step closer to her and cut her off.
His face looked not merely gloomier than usual, but almost ominous.
Sasha looked up at Isaac anew and recalled the first time she had seen him on the day of the birthday party. Come to think of it, that man had been making that face all along.
“I mean that, regardless of my intentions, I ended up deceiving you.”
Isaac distorted his brows and spoke as though forcing the words out.
“I truly did not know he would act like that. I had no intention of deceiving you, Miss Grayson.”
At his continued words, Sasha froze for a moment, then calmly opened her mouth and answered.
“You didn’t deceive me, Captain. You simply overlooked some of the circumstances around you. That’s all. It isn’t anyone’s fault.”
“In any case, the conclusion is that I ended up deceiving you, isn’t it?”
“It’s all right. I’m only a little bewildered. I’m not that angry. Why do you think I would be so angry in the first place?”
“……Because if it were me, I would have been angry. What I hate most is deceiving others.”
Sasha’s hand, which had been adjusting her hat, stopped once more.
Isaac continued speaking without heed.
“It has been a long time since I attended anything like a family gathering. That was also why I could not answer properly when you asked me before. The last time I was together with my family was Edmund, that bastard’s……”
“Captain.”
Isaac’s ominously continuing words abruptly stopped. He blankly looked down at Sasha’s face as she held his cheek and gazed at him firmly, as if telling him to calm down.
Sasha looked straight at him and slowly shook her head. As the silence filled the space between them, Isaac belatedly heard something rustling nearby and turned a sharp gaze toward the direction of the sound.
He saw a young servant passing quietly nearby, shoulders hunched as if trying to be quiet in his own way. He looked to be around fifteen at most.
“I thought it might be better than the room, but there are eyes here too.”
As Sasha said that, she took Isaac’s arm and pulled him toward her. Of course, her strength was nowhere near enough, so Isaac did not budge.
A beat late, he faltered closer to her as Sasha led him.
“Is there somewhere a little quieter?”
Sasha asked.
“……There is a place farther in that no one but Grandmother goes to.”
Isaac answered with a reluctant face and slowly led her away. A high flowerbed brimming with summer blooms greeted them. Isaac took her inside. Within stood a statue of a girl with her hands clasped in prayer.
Sasha naturally ducked beneath the statue’s interlaced hands. Isaac, too, ended up following her and folding his large body beneath the statue.
As soon as Sasha saw him crouching to follow her, she let out a small laugh.
When Isaac, his face reddening, tried to straighten back up, Sasha took his hand and pulled him toward her.
“I wasn’t laughing at you. Just come this way.”
If you weren’t laughing at me, then what was it? Isaac, who had been about to ask back with a sullen face, felt the words disappear the moment he saw Sasha smiling gently at him.
Isaac settled beneath the statue again as if hiding with her, and looked down at their hands, which were still clasped together. Realizing that he was looking at their joined hands, Sasha released his hand with an unconcerned expression.
For some reason, Isaac felt sorry that she had. He felt as though he had lost his mind. They had been in the middle of a serious conversation only moments ago, and yet here he was, flushing red over something as simple as holding hands, which made him feel like a complete madman.
“……Then, will you do it…… as my father said?”
At the end of his desperate attempt to change the subject, Isaac forced himself to bring up that unwelcome topic again.
“Of course.”
Sasha answered that it was obvious.
“……There is nothing for you to gain from it.”
“It’s a wedding held among family, so it won’t be much of a burden for me. You are the one I’m worried about, Captain.”
“……I’m not so inflexible as that. Given the circumstances, I should follow Father’s words.”
When Isaac accepted it with a deep sigh, Sasha smiled at him as if to say, That’s how it should be.
“Yes. Put aside your immediate resentment and aversion, and think only of what you will gain from it.”
“It wasn’t simply because of that that I felt bad. I……”
Isaac stopped mid-sentence and stared intently at Sasha.
“How much do you know about me, Miss Grayson?”
He suddenly asked Sasha that.
“……Not that ridiculous story about arranged meetings. You must have already investigated enough about me. I already know that.”
“I don’t know what you mean specifically.”
“……Things about me and my family. You had already heard and knew the rumors about me and Grandmother, hadn’t you?”
Instead of immediately denying it and lying, Sasha closed her mouth.
Of course, as it was the most basic of basics, she had been told a great deal in advance about his family circumstances as well. The same was true of the rumors about him and Caroline, as Isaac had pointed out. Of course, upon meeting her in person, Caroline had turned out to be an ordinary grandmother who sincerely cherished and loved Isaac.
“Yes. That’s right. I know. From the rumors that circulated between you and your half-brother, to the way the count continued to respond lukewarmly to them. I know that much.”
“……”
Sasha answered readily and looked at Isaac. As if to say, So what?
At Sasha’s admission, Isaac sighed, his face showing a complicated mix of emotions.
“Fine. Then without any need to hide it, Miss Grayson, you not only know everything from my most pathetic aspects to my most miserable ones, you have even seen them for yourself.”
“Captain.”
His thoughts, which had been about to sink endlessly to the bottom, came to a halt. Isaac turned his head as he felt a hand touch his cheek.
Her soft bare hand, with its glove removed, stroked his cheek as if soothing him. Her face was right before his eyes.
“It’s all right, Captain. I don’t laugh at you. You know that.”
Isaac felt her index finger carefully stroke the scar on his right cheek.
“I do. That isn’t what I’m worried about.”
“Then what?”
If that isn’t it, tell me.
She asked as though she could handle anything.
Holding back a hollow laugh, Isaac answered.
“I simply dislike showing you this side of me.”
At Isaac’s next words, something churned inside her. Sasha stopped stroking Isaac’s cheek.
They were both inexperienced when it came to feelings like this, but Sasha was at least far more perceptive than Isaac. She had also heard enough to roughly understand why he felt upset.
Looking into the blue eyes gazing steadily at her, Sasha pretended not to know and repeated her earlier answer like a parrot.
“We’re already in the same boat, after all. It’s all right.”