Episode 64
No matter how distant she had become from the Duchess, Sasha was still a wealthy heiress. And in the end, bound as they were by the tie of family, there was a good chance she would reconcile amicably with the Duchess. Miss Carol and her friends had judged as much, and unlike others who treated her with indifference, they had willingly invited her into their gathering.
After all, any ill will they earned from that great lady would disappear once Sasha grew close to her again. In other words, in many respects, they had decided to become Sasha’s friends with an eye toward the future.
Friends. Sasha turned the word over in her mind with a blank expression. When she did not even have a real family, let alone friends, such a relationship felt all the more distant.
After satisfying the questions they had been most curious about, they belatedly began asking Sasha about Isaac. First Jeffrey Grayson, then the Duchess, and then Isaac Pinscher. It was all to determine the truth of the rumors surrounding the people connected to her.
Without any particular sign of regret, Sasha answered smoothly about her relationship with Isaac. As she and Isaac had agreed beforehand, she spun out the false love story laced with exaggerated lies: that she had sought him out first, fallen for him at first sight, and pursued him relentlessly.
Miss Carol seemed unimpressed, but Miss Gordon and Miss Bernard listened to Sasha’s love story with considerable interest.
“In fact, Count Pinscher is a friend of my father’s. He is such a taciturn man that whenever he met with my father, he never once spoke of his family. Perhaps Miss Grayson will become closer to the Count even sooner than my father has.”
“Once you marry, you become family. Naturally, that makes you far closer than friends, Miss Bernard.”
Miss Carol spoke as though neatly summing up Miss Bernard’s remark, then smoothly changed the subject.
They returned to their usual topics, but more than before, they took Sasha into consideration and spoke mainly of things she would know.
The classical plays Sasha went to see every weekend, the books she usually read, and even the indoor garden she tended herself.
“You really are propriety itself, Miss Grayson.”
Miss Carol, who had been listening to Sasha’s stories all along, murmured with a slightly fed-up expression.
“They’re all things the lady taught you to cultivate a young woman’s accomplishments. So even after she passed away, you’ve continued doing them as if they were assignments? Are you truly doing them because you enjoy them?”
Sasha had felt it before, but Miss Carol never hesitated when she spoke. Her blunt manner of speaking, which someone else might have mistaken for rudeness, did not feel particularly unpleasant to Sasha. Still, in a different sense, Miss Carol had struck at the heart of the matter.
Was she doing them because she enjoyed them? Of course not.
“……They’ve already become ingrained in me like habits. If I skip even a single day, I feel as though something is missing. That is why I do them.”
Instead of answering completely honestly, Sasha mixed in a suitable lie.
At the same time, she imagined laying everything bare to Miss Carol.
Before my grandmother passed away, she left behind a will filled with conditional inheritances. I must follow every instruction she gave in order to receive that enormous estate little by little.
“……Poor thing. Come out with me next time. I mean it.”
Miss Carol, who had known the old lady even longer than Sasha had, would likely click her tongue as though it were no surprise at all. And since money was involved, she would probably offer the eminently practical advice that there was no helping it and that Sasha should grit her teeth and endure.
Like Miss Carol, Sasha was also accepting and carrying out that will from an extremely practical point of view. She had simply discovered among its clauses the item of marriage, which would allow her to receive far more money at once than any of the others.
“Thank you. Please write to me next time. Of course, I would be troubled if you sent it like another notice, Miss Carol.”
“Ah, of course. Our next meeting will take place somewhere much farther away, after all. A picnic? Please. Just give me an entire week. If your fiancé permits it.”
At Miss Carol’s banter, Miss Gordon and Miss Bernard chimed in one after another, asking to be included as well.
Sasha joined them and smiled appropriately.
＊＊＊
Their pleasant conversation continued for about another hour before coming to an end. When Miss Bernard was the first to recall a prior engagement and rise from her seat, the gathering naturally took on the air of breaking up.
After Miss Bernard, Miss Gordon stood, and then Miss Carol and Sasha rose and left the building. Their farewells were even simpler than their greetings had been. Before parting, Miss Carol lightly pulled Sasha into an embrace.
Hugs always felt unfamiliar to her, no matter when they happened. No matter who the other person was, they made her uncomfortable.
Even so, Sasha did not show it and patted Miss Carol on the shoulder. Of course, some part of Miss Carol was likely looking ahead for the sake of her own business interests, but she was sincerely worried about Sasha. So Sasha pressed down her discomfort and hugged Miss Carol back.
“What I said earlier, I meant it, Miss Grayson.”
“What you said earlier?”
“It’s certainly admirable to carry on your grandmother’s values as they were, but I’m saying you shouldn’t lose sight of what you are truly interested in and what you truly want to do. I’m only asking just in case, but that sudden marriage partner of yours was not on her list of conditions in the will, was he?”
“……Good heavens. Carol. Of course not.”
“Perhaps it turned out his family and the lady were especially close.”
“Absolutely not. House Pinscher had no dealings with the ducal house whatsoever.”
Carol paused for a moment.
“Now I understand. So that’s why you chose that man?”
“Pardon?”
“No matter how I think about it, it makes no sense. I kept coming and going from that mansion and watched you all that time. You are absolutely not the type to fall for someone at first sight, Miss Grayson. You may fool other people, but you can’t fool me.”
Under Carol’s persistent questioning, Sasha belatedly twisted her body as though uncomfortable.
“Miss Carol, I……”
“Miss Grayson. I know you are more conservative and stubborn than one might expect. You will never tell me. Well, I suppose that’s how it is.”
But whether Sasha did or not, Miss Carol gripped her shoulders firmly with both hands, gazed into her face, and continued speaking as though she understood everything.
Sasha could not imagine how such strength came from a woman thinner and shorter than herself.
“Fine, Miss Grayson. I’m not trying to frighten you. Quite the opposite.”
Miss Carol sighed, then continued.
“If you were marrying merely as a means of escape, I wanted to tell you to stop at once. Do you think I’ve only seen one or two women who escaped into marriage simply because they hated their families or because their futures seemed bleak, only to regret it later? I nearly ended up in that very position myself.”
It was sincere concern and advice.
At Miss Carol’s blunt words, Sasha’s faint struggling ceased.
“It is not an escapist marriage in that sense, Miss Carol. Absolutely not.”
“Absolutely?”
“Strictly speaking, it has the nature of an agreement for mutual benefit. Just as I use him, he uses me. That is all. We will never do harm to each other.”
Why was she telling Miss Carol all of this? Was it because Miss Carol had used the word “friend” first?
No, Sasha knew that, fundamentally, Miss Carol was not a person whose tongue was all that loose. Rather, because she had heard so much, she understood the weight of words better than anyone, and she was someone who did not easily let truly important matters pass her lips.
Was that not why Lady Rosaline had always kept her close? She had even once grumbled that Miss Carol would never tell her anything truly important, no matter how much she pressed.
“Very well. A marriage of convenience, then. Old-fashioned, but far more convincing. The difference is that it is not an arrangement between families, but an agreement between the two of you as individuals. Good. That makes it much clearer. I was simply curious. Thank you for satisfying my curiosity.”
“I’m saying this just in case, but I would prefer you not tell others.”
“What do you take me for, Miss Grayson? I know better than even the people involved what stories may be told to others. For example, things like what happened with that wastrel Jeffrey Grayson.”
Miss Carol looked at Sasha as though hoping the conversation would continue. But Sasha only smiled faintly and did not offer the additional story she wanted.
Miss Carol clicked her tongue in obvious disappointment and only then let Sasha go.
No, just when it seemed she was going to let her go, she hugged her once more.
“This may sound insincere, Miss Grayson, but I truly hope you break free from your grandmother’s influence and live doing what you sincerely want to do.”
Sasha now hugged her back far more comfortably than before.
“Thank you, Miss Carol. I surely will.”