Episode 32
Isaac Pinscher dislikes people.
He especially hates men. In his experience, most of his fellow men were base and petty. And that wasn’t all. He hated the way they constantly sized others up as if taking their measure, and he shuddered at that nature of theirs—how the moment they decided someone was easy prey, they would start crawling all over them. Excessive self-consciousness, and the presumptuous outbursts of inferiority that came from it. The men who had tormented him throughout his life were mostly that sort.
Women were at least somewhat better. But only somewhat. To Isaac, women were uncomfortable beings in a different sense. He was simply uncomfortable around them. Unlike men, who could at least puff themselves up with intimidation or whatever else, the gazes of women whispering among themselves as they looked at him remained one of the things he found hardest to endure even now.
Isaac had never had a lover, nor had he ever been in love. If asked whether there had never been anyone he found attractive, even for a moment, that was not the case. But it had only ever been a fleeting instant. Most of them found it uncomfortable to speak with Isaac at length. Just as Isaac did.
The greatest reason Isaac Pinscher had failed at all his marriage meetings was that he himself was uncomfortable around women. Even without him saying a word, the women across from him were the ones who sensed what he was thinking most keenly, albeit indirectly.
As his adjutant Felix had said, Isaac was quite decent-looking as long as he kept his mouth shut. And that was not all. His tall, muscular physique was also a rather distinctive charm compared to the scrawny men his age. But once they actually faced him, he would clamp his mouth shut as if anyone could see he was uncomfortable with them, answer in monosyllables when spoken to, and when their eyes met, either glare defensively or conspicuously avert his gaze to the floor.
His appearance might have been presentable, but his personality and behavior alike shaved away every bit of his appeal. The women who had first felt curious about him quickly forgot whatever goodwill they had held toward Isaac.
His marriage meetings had always failed that way.
I’m sorry my letter is late. I wanted to send it right away, but after I arrived, there were all sorts of things I had to take care of. I was only away for a few days, yet work had piled up like a mountain again.
Have you been well these past two days, Captain? I imagine you must have felt at peace for once with a certain someone who came by every day to bother you gone. Now that I’ve written it down, I feel a little embarrassed. It really does seem as though I was quite blatantly pestering you. Still, in the end, I’m glad you thought positively of the proposal I gave you.
Sasha Grayson, who had said she would write as soon as she returned, sent him a letter only after several days had passed. Isaac, currently suspended from duty, had, just as she pointed out, shut himself away in his quarters and was doing nothing, enjoying a rest that was not quite a rest.
There is truly a great deal to prepare in one way or another. I was thinking of having the contract notarized by a lawyer I know well. What do you think? Since it isn’t a real marriage, we’ll need a confidentiality clause as well, and with that being the case, I think it would be best for both of us to have it properly notarized by a lawyer.
There is a lawyer my grandmother has trusted for a long time and entrusted with all matters related to the estate. He also manages the Gillian Foundation that my grandmother established. I can vouch for his reliability.
She had been this kind of person from the very beginning. A woman who, even when bringing up marriage, had spoken plainly of the matter at hand without the slightest trace of sentimentality. To her, marriage seemed to be truly nothing more than a means to an end. Just as it was to him.
At the part about even having it notarized by a lawyer, Isaac stopped reading for a moment and tapped that section with his finger.
It was not a bad proposal. It had been suggested by none other than the person concerned. Yes. In that short time, she had already figured out that he was an extraordinarily suspicious person.
It was no different from Isaac himself shouting at the top of his lungs that he was suspicious by nature. Hadn’t he been making it clear with his entire body that he could not trust her?
I think it would be better to meet and discuss the contract in more detail. There are various matters we need to coordinate, after all. If it’s all right with you, why don’t you come here? Since you treated me to a meal last time, I would like to introduce you to a nice place on my side as well.
If you are not in a situation where you can freely go out, I will come to you again. To be honest, I would prefer that.
Reading the sentence that seemed to contain her true wish, Isaac chewed over the memories of last time.
He bit his lip as he recalled himself sitting before her, dressed like an idiot, in a restaurant filled with all manner of grotesque decorations.
But at the same time, he also recalled her eyes sparkling as she delighted like a child over the ordinary view of the lake, and that uncomfortable sensation of warmth rising at the nape of his neck as he watched her.
I hate both.
Can’t we just do this by letter?
Isaac hesitated for a long while with his pen in hand. Then, in the end, he wrote a reply.
I will go to you. Please let me know the time and place.
＊＊＊
The appointed place was a quiet café. It was a very small café in an outer alley of the old district, an area of the capital with relatively little foot traffic.
“Do you like it? I thought you would, Captain.”
“What do you mean?”
“It’s quiet. There’s no better place to discuss secrets.”
To anyone, it would have sounded very much as though she was saying she had chosen this place in consideration of his personality and tastes. Isaac did not respond to her words and merely coughed with an uncomfortable expression.
The weather was cloudy. In truth, during this season, rain in the capital would fall at the slightest provocation. The walls and pavement of the alley were all an old ashen gray. As raindrops began to fall one by one over it, the place took on a somewhat dreary air.
The café was small, and suffocatingly quiet. Only the woman sitting across from Isaac was smiling brightly by herself. With that characteristically polite and kindly face of hers.
“The reason I had to call you here today, Captain, is to speak clearly about boundaries.”
Sasha said.
“Boundaries.”
“Yes. I want a perfect disguise that no one will be able to suspect. I want us to look, to anyone who sees us, like lovers who are clearly in love.”
Isaac immediately choked. He forced himself to look somewhere far away as he coughed, then barely managed to put on a composed face and answer, “……Yes.”
“That makes sense, doesn’t it? Who would look at us and think we were in a political marriage?”
“……But wouldn’t it lack plausibility? I am not as wealthy as you are, Miss Grayson, nor is my family so outstanding, and…… I am not…… particularly handsome, either.”
I can’t believe I just said that with my own mouth. Isaac simply wanted to die.
When Sasha lifted her head without replying and stared intently at him, Isaac wanted to throw everything away and pretend none of this had ever happened. Sasha looked him over lightly, then blinked.
“What? No. If we had to find plausibility, it would be in your appearance, Captain. You’re tall, and you have a good physique……”
Without realizing it, Sasha’s gaze swept from Isaac’s strong jaw down to his Adam’s apple, and she hurriedly looked away.
“In any case, you don’t need to worry about that part. You remember that our first meeting was rather unconventional, don’t you? In truth, that alone is enough. It gives people room to imagine things on their own.”
“……Room to imagine things?”
“Yes. I mean…… that’s usually how romance novels begin, isn’t it? Two protagonists who, far from being well-disposed toward each other, only give each other unpleasant feelings, ultimately fall in love……”
As she took out a pen and paper, she smiled for a moment with a sheepish expression.
“……At least, that’s how it was in the books I’ve read. I’m sorry. In truth, I’ve never dated anyone, much less had a crush on someone. Everything I know is from books. As for stories people tell me directly, there are quite a few vulgar ones, so I tend to let them go in one ear and out the other.”
Sasha realized that she was, yet again, talking too much without meaning to. She hurriedly changed the subject.
“All right. Then let’s set that part aside for now and move on to the main point.”