Chapter 126
A different tension hung in the air than when he had voluntarily laid bare his family affairs.
Sasha was his wife now. Even if their marriage had begun with a most impure purpose, the two of them were now bound by fate to embrace each other’s hardships as well. Yes. Just as the officiant had said at the wedding.
But before Sasha was his wife, she was a civilian, and after much deliberation, Isaac conveyed the matter as briefly as he could.
“Sergeant York was once my closest subordinate and comrade-in-arms. He and I crossed the line between life and death together many times. That is… until the Selwood operation. What I’m about to say may sound… extremely irrational. Of course, this is only from my perspective. What I mean is….”
Isaac stopped speaking, as if to catch his breath. Sasha looked at him in silence and threaded her fingers through the joints of his thick ones. By now, she knew all too well how to calm him.
Isaac looked at her with eyes that seemed somewhat more at ease. Then, more calmly than before, he spoke of the things he had lost in that operation and the false accusation placed upon him.
“I believe the scout’s operation report was switched in the middle. After the general approved it, the report was sent directly to me, the commander. And in it… fabricated information had been written. Every piece of information was written the opposite way.”
The fortress that was supposed to be empty was still swarming with the Archduke’s men, and the commander who was said to be a young officer with no combat experience was a seasoned colonel whose face Isaac had already memorized. In an instant, with the sound of gunfire bursting out, a bullet flew in and pierced through his shoulder blade.
Isaac rubbed one shoulder, where a large scar remained from that injury. Fortunately, they had been near a stone building that could serve as cover, and so they were at least able to avoid being wiped out on the spot, riddled with bullets like a honeycomb. By using his wits to divert the enemy’s attention, he had barely managed to bring the survivors back alive, but even those who lived were nearly dead.
When he opened his eyes, he was on a hospital bed, and around him, his surviving subordinates were groaning as if screaming. It was the first time he had ever felt such despair. And for the first time in a long while, Isaac felt humiliation.
As a soldier, death was not something all that unfamiliar or shocking to him. The problem was how they had died. He had never sent off his comrades in such an absurd manner before.
But when he protested, what came back to him were only the utterly cold gazes of others and the scout’s report, which had already been switched. At Isaac’s protest, the scout instead looked baffled. If it had truly been switched as Isaac claimed, then that would have been a grave matter indeed.
But the report had come down after receiving the general’s approval. There were some who truly believed in Isaac’s innocence, but most of them did not have the nerve to hold the general responsible.
“…I tried to find the fabricated report I had received and show it to them. But by then, it had already been replaced with something else. In other words….”
“With the real report the scout was said to have written.”
Sasha calmly continued his words, as if organizing them.
Isaac nodded as he looked at her. She did not look at him the way others did, as if he were insane.
“And now, that Sergeant York has sent you a letter. Along with a paper stamped with the date from back then.”
Naturally, Sasha knew little about the world Isaac belonged to. Though Isaac had pared down the details in his own way before telling her, to her it still felt unfamiliar and heavy. Yet even amid that, the helplessness and injustice he must have felt came through clearly.
Sasha calmly arranged the series of events Isaac had experienced in her mind, as if putting them in order. Then, as though she had finally reached a conclusion, she said,
“Do you think that Sergeant York stole the real report?”
“It’s only a suspicion.”
“But you’re already certain, aren’t you?”
Isaac did not answer. But that alone was answer enough.
“…All right. Tomorrow, you intend to go to the meeting place written on the note that man York left.”
“I am not doing this simply to prove my innocence.”
As if he had been subjected to that accusation countless times by others, Isaac spoke defensively before she could say anything.
Sasha looked at him with an expressionless face.
“I know. You’re not a selfish person. It must be for your comrades who were unjustly caught up in it and died, or were left with permanent disabilities. You want to uncover the truth, if only for their sake.”
Sasha looked at Isaac’s face, which seemed more stubborn than usual.
Yes. So this was the face he made as a soldier. It was a discovery that felt new to her.
“Why are you telling me as though asking for my permission, when you’ve already made up your mind?”
“I haven’t decided yet. It’s just….”
A lie. Instead of cutting him off, Sasha smiled gently.
“Do you want me to stop you? Do you want me to ask why you’re trying to dig up something that’s already over, to tell you that you’re no longer a soldier but the head of a family now, so I hope you’ll think of your family and simply endure it and let it pass?”
At Sasha’s direct words, Isaac shook his head.
“…No. That isn’t what I wanted to hear. But as you said, I am well aware of what now rests on my shoulders.”
“Then are you asking for my understanding? From me, who deceived you from our very first meeting, who kept lying to you until others exposed me? …You truly are honest and kind.”
Before he could continue, Sasha embraced him. Isaac’s rough breath, slightly flustered, brushed against the nape of her neck. Sasha paid it no mind and stroked his black hair.
“…Do you not think that what I’m saying might be a lie? That perhaps, as they said, my mind created a delusion to defend itself….”
“No, I believe you. And I understand your desire to reveal the truth even now, for the sake of others and for your own convictions.”
It felt as though she had struck directly at the heart of him. Somehow embarrassed, and grateful as well, Isaac pressed his heated face into the nape of her neck and buried it there as though pretending not to notice.
Sasha smiled with a slightly resigned expression and toyed with the still-damp ends of his hair. Yes. He had always been this kind of person. And she had fallen in love with him because he was this kind of person.
If she had not loved him, she would have stopped him, just as he expected. It was already enough that he had fallen out of favor with Jeffrey, the young duke, and now a general? She would have desperately tried to dissuade him, asking why he wanted to get entangled with someone of such rank again.
Their conversation that followed turned into promises and cautions. In Sasha’s cautions was a faint implication that if it truly seemed his life might be endangered, he should pretend not to know and withdraw, and for some reason, Isaac did not dislike it.
Before long, the sky had been dyed entirely black. Beneath the quiet darkness, where not even a single star could be seen because of the clouds that had gathered, Sasha kissed Isaac’s temple and forehead in turn.
Isaac was still unaccustomed to her displays of affection, as though she were treating him like something precious. But he was so pleased by it. So pleased that he wanted to pretend not to know and remain in her arms forever.
Isaac continued to receive her kisses as if feigning ignorance, then lifted his head. When he sat up properly, he once again became larger than her. He reached out, cupped one of her cheeks, and kissed her.
His other hand rose to wrap around her waist. His large hand held her lower back with ease. From the experience of the previous night, Isaac knew the spot where Sasha was unusually ticklish. He knew her weakness.
“Promise me you’ll come back safely.”
When their lips parted, Sasha whispered quietly against his mouth.
Isaac had been recalling that humiliating memory, but soon nodded with a face bearing emotions complicated in many ways.
Sasha stared at Isaac’s grave expression, and in the end, unable to hold back, burst into laughter.
“…Why are you laughing?”
Isaac asked, looking dumbfounded.
“Ah, I’m sorry. But your face at times like this is strangely….”
Isaac could predict what she would say next. She intended to humiliate him with some strange remark, saying he was cute, just like that time.
Without a word, Isaac pressed firmly on the hollow of her lower back. Sasha’s eyes went round, and she flinched, trembling as she buried her face against his shoulder and curled inward.
“Good heavens. You’ve learned only strange things. Let me go.”
It had been a clumsy night of failure that made him embarrassed just to recall, but in its own way, there had been small results.
Feeling Sasha squirm in his arms, Isaac smiled faintly, playfully.
“No.”