Episode 22: The Cemetery
"Today is Children's Day, a world for us."
When I woke up in the morning and turned on the TV, a children's song was playing.
'So today is Children's Day.'
When I used to work at a company, I had liked holidays. Come to think of it, there probably isn't a single office worker who dislikes holidays.
May was especially nice because there were many holidays, and on the TV, children were shown happily receiving gifts at toy stores.
'I used to be like that too when I was young.'
My parents always bought me gifts on special days like birthdays and Children's Day; perhaps they took extra care of me because I was an only child.
When I was young, I sometimes thought it would be nice to have a younger sibling or an older brother, but I realized that the idea of siblings getting along well was a story that only came out of fairy tales, and I came to think that being alone wasn't so bad either.
They say that even in our village, there are many siblings who fought over land and became estranged after their parents passed away.
Of course, now that both my parents had passed away and I was completely alone, it felt a bit lonely sometimes.
'Now there's no one to give me gifts either.'
I was no longer a child, but I still envied the families shown on TV, when I heard a voice calling me.
"Excuse me, are you there?"
I went outside and saw a stranger; he was someone who had come to deliver my car.
"Hello."
"Are you Lee Min-woo, sir?"
"Yes, that's me."
After confirming the owner, he unloaded the car into the yard, but when I saw it in person, it felt bigger than when I'd seen it at the dealership.
I checked if there was anything wrong with the car, and since no particular issues were found, I decided to take delivery of the vehicle right away.
"Thank you."
After the delivery company left, I started properly looking over the car. The smell of a new car wafted strongly from inside, but somehow it wasn't a bad feeling.
"I should tear off the plastic."
I got a knife and started tearing off the plastic wrapping the car.
Once all the plastic was removed, it finally felt completely real that this was my car.
When I first bought a car, it had felt like purchasing a necessity to get around, but maybe because I'd bought a nice one, my heart fluttered a little.
"Tomorrow I need to register the car and install a dashcam too."
I'd planned to do it right away after receiving the car, but today the county office was closed, so it couldn't be helped.
'But I have a temporary license plate, so it should be fine to drive, right?'
Maybe because of its pretty exterior? I somehow felt eager to take it for a drive quickly.
****
I started the engine and set off.
The car had many features I'd never seen in the truck.
'It'll take some time to get used to this...'
Vroom.
Even though I pressed the accelerator lightly, I could feel the car surge forward. The ride quality was incomparably better than the truck I'd had before.
'So this is what stable comfort feels like?'
When driving the truck, it had rattled at the slightest movement, and it was normal for it to vibrate even when sitting still.
But now I couldn't feel anything like that at all.
I had never really understood people who drove as a hobby, but now I thought I had an idea of how it felt.
A country road with no one around.
Driving there alone quietly gave me a feeling of comfort. And as the surrounding scenery passed by at high speed, it felt like my chest was opening up.
"A drive like this wouldn't be complete without music."
I stopped the car for a moment and tried to listen to some pop songs I liked, but on the music site's charts, I saw a song by Gang Su-jin, the Queen of Trot.
Since my friends had mentioned her not long ago, I felt like listening to her.
'Should I give it a listen?'
I pressed the play button right away.
Boom-chak, boom-chak.
A slightly upbeat semi-trot melody began to flow out. It broke the quiet silence, but it wasn't bad.
The lyrics were a bit childish, but it had a dance-music feel to it, so it seemed okay. And perhaps because she was a winner from an audition program, her refreshing, open voice was charming too.
I hadn't really liked trot, but if it was this kind of song, I thought I could listen to it fine.
'I ended up buying a car after all.'
When I was in Gwangju, I didn't drive. The bus was enough for commuting.
I'd thought I'd buy a car when I got a girlfriend later, but unfortunately, I'd been single all my life, so there'd been no occasion to buy one.
I'd never had a relationship, but I didn't really feel sad or pathetic about it.
As I'd mentioned before, my looks weren't bad, so I'd been asked for my number plenty of times and had had quite a few ambiguous relationships.
But none of them had progressed well into an actual romantic relationship.
My friends said it was because I had a wall around my heart, and thinking about it, after my mother passed away, I think I had unconsciously built walls against other people.
Explaining the long, complicated story was difficult with anyone except truly close friends.
Enjoying the passing scenery like that and reveling in the joy of driving, I thought it would be nice to drive around like this often from now on.
'Yeah, this is the vibe.'
****
As I was finishing my drive and heading home, something caught my eye.
Several trucks were parked on the roadside leading into the village, and they were doing grave weeding.
I slowed down and passed by slowly; the cemetery was impressive.
The grass had a blue-green hue, and the burial mounds were round and prettily shaped. The saplings around them were also growing neatly—it was clear that a lot of care had been put into the cemetery.
'Come to think of it, Parents' Day is coming soon...'
As I passed by, I saw "Grave Weeding Service" written on the trucks; it seemed the children had hired a company to do the weeding in preparation for Parents' Day.
Come to think of it, I'd heard that these days, people called it "filial piety weeding" and often did it this way without coming down in person. It wasn't a small amount—about 100,000 to 150,000 won per grave.
"Anyway... they've made the grave site well."
These days the trend is to keep things simple without building graves, but perhaps because Confucian ideals still remain, people who were somewhat successful in society paid a lot of attention to their graves.
In the countryside especially, everyone knows whose grave is where, so it was considered a great disgrace if a child known to be successful maintained their father's grave poorly.
I suddenly thought of my parents' grave.
I'd been checking on it whenever I had time, but I felt like a lot of weeds must have grown.
'I should go home and do some weeding.'
****
Whiiiir!
I went home, changed into work clothes, and started up the newly purchased weed whacker.
With a refreshing sound, the blade began to spin round and round, and I took it to my parents' grave.
On the way, I saw many weeds growing along the field ridges, so I started cutting those first.
'The tractor is coming to till the field, so I might as well cut them while I'm at it.'
Moving the weed whacker's blade from left to right, I began cutting the grass.
Tink.
I was working hard when suddenly sparks flew and something shot up. I instinctively turned my head to avoid it; it was a small stone.
"That was close."
You always have to be careful of stones when using a weed whacker, but because of the slope, I must have hit one without realizing.
I focused again and worked, and soon I was able to reach my parents' grave.
"As expected, the grass has grown a lot."
Looking at my parents' grave, a lot of weeds had grown.
I hurriedly started cutting the weeds, but for some reason, the grass didn't look as lush and green as the grave I'd seen on my way home earlier.
'Is it because I used cheap ones...'
When I first made the grave, I hadn't been well-off, so I couldn't spend that much money. I'd added some grass to the spots where a lot had died, but it seemed it still wasn't enough.
As I worked, I looked around the grave site, and I felt strongly that there wasn't enough of anything—the gravestone, the saplings.
When I first made the grave, I had intended to keep it simple, but as time passed, I seemed to regret it a little. And today, that feeling was stronger than usual.
****
"Hello."
"Yes, boss. Hello."
After worrying about it for a whole day, I contacted the proprietor who had made my father's grave.
"You're saying you want to decorate the grave more?"
"Yes, looking at it now, it seems too empty, and I don't feel good about it."
He was a man named Sim Il-seok from Haeseong Cemetery Management, introduced by the funeral hall, and he had helped me greatly as it was my first time handling a funeral.
"I see. Didn't I tell you before that it was a bit lacking..."
"Yes..."
In fact, I'd heard similar words even back then, but at the time I hadn't known I would come to live here, nor that I would win the lottery.
"Uh... let me see. I think I mentioned the entrance here, raising the gravestone a bit, and adding more saplings..."
"That's right."
Because the grave was made at the edge of the field, the entrance wasn't very good. You had to climb over the field ridge, so your shoes got dirty quickly.
And the gravestone was so close to the ground that weeding had been very difficult, so I also wanted to raise it a bit higher.
And the most important thing was the saplings.
Seeing other graves, there were many splendid saplings that made the grave sites much more lively, but my parents' grave lacked that.
"I saw at other places that there were pretty trees around the graves. Is that possible too?"
"Yes, if you have a desired type of sapling, we can procure and plant it for you."
"Would a camellia tree be possible?"
"A camellia tree?"
I didn't remember, but according to my father, my mother had liked camellia trees. So if possible, I wanted to plant those.
"Yes, my mother liked them."
"I see. In the old days, they said you shouldn't plant trees with red flowers at graves, but these days people plant them a lot regardless."
"Ah, is that so?"
"Yes, let me show you some sample photos."
Sim Il-seok showed me photos of graves they had worked on, and I liked them very much.
Above all, I could feel that the graves were being managed and cared for, and I thought that if I made it like this, my parents in heaven would like it too.
If I didn't have money, I wouldn't even be able to consider this, but I probably had more money than those children down there who were said to be successful.
"How much would the price be?"
"For the basics—grave landscaping, stone monument installation, and sapling planting—we charge about seven million won, but depending on the tree prices, it can go up a bit more."
It was certainly quite expensive. I hesitated for a moment, but decided to just go ahead.
I'd heard that this kind of thing was partly done to honor one's parents, but also often so that the children themselves could feel at ease.
I too had fallen ill from guilt toward my father, and come here because of it.
Although they had already passed away, I thought it would be nice to have them rest in a prettier, more comfortable place.
"Please draw up a new estimate. I'll review it and sign the contract."
"You've made a good decision."
I headed home together with Sim Il-seok, and when he saw the large tree at our house, he spoke to me.
"I noticed this the last time I saw it too, but this is an enormous tree."
"Yes, I understand it's been there since before I was born."
"It appears to be a Chinese arborvitae, is that right?"
"Yes, that's what I know it to be as well."
Sim Il-seok approached the tree, touched it, and exclaimed in admiration.
"Wow, it looks even bigger up close. You could probably get quite a bit of money if you sold this?"
Come to think of it, when I was young, people had come by to try to buy this tree. They had offered quite a bit of money back then, but Father refused to sell.
It was a tree with our family's memories, and I felt the same way.
"I have no intention of selling, so I'm not sure."
"Ahem... then I'll prepare the estimate and contract and stop by again. Would any date work for you?"
"The sooner the better... but would it be possible by Parents' Day?"
Since I was doing it anyway, I wanted to prepare a new home for them on Parents' Day. At my words, he seemed slightly flustered, but he still gave me a positive answer.
"I'll do my best."