Episode 18: Gimbap
“How have you been feeling lately?”
At the doctor’s words, a laugh escaped me before I knew it.
When I had first come to the hospital, my mood had been very bad. I had been in a state of extreme sensitivity due to anxiety, but now I was at ease.
After moving down to the countryside, I had eaten a lot of delicious food and slept deeply, so my condition seemed to have improved tremendously.
Since I had put everything aside to go down there, I had been worried about the financial aspect, but that too was resolved when I won the lottery.
The abundance of mind and material.
It was giving me an endlessly relaxed state of mind.
Seeing me smile, the doctor spoke quietly.
“It seems you’re getting better.”
“Yes, as you said, I went down to my hometown to rest, and I’m definitely better than before.”
“That’s a relief. How are the palpitations?”
Not long ago, my heart had suddenly pounded, and I had been startled.
My anxiety had improved a lot as well, but it seemed the symptoms hadn’t completely disappeared yet.
“They’re better than before, but I still have palpitations occasionally. Still, after taking the medicine you gave me, they subsided.”
“That’s likely because there are still elements of anxiety remaining in your mind. As I told you before, if you rest well and fill yourself with good memories, you’ll be able to escape the anxiety.”
My mother’s death.
I had been sad then, but I thought I had overcome it well.
But the sorrow had been stored much more strongly in my heart than I thought.
When my father passed away, it came rushing out like a flood, and anxiety found me to the extent that it interfered with daily life.
The doctor had said that if I gradually forgot the sad memories by filling them with other good ones, I would be all right.
“Yes, I’m trying to do that.”
“Are you still taking your medicine every day?”
“You told me then that if it seemed okay, I could gradually reduce the dosage, so I’m taking a bit less now. But I’m almost out of medicine, so I think I need to get some today.”
“Yes, I’ll write you a prescription. Instead, since you seem to have improved a lot, take it only when you have symptoms from now on.”
****
“I’ve been running around since morning, so I’m hungry…”
I had prepared and come out early in the morning to catch the bus. I had bought and eaten some simple bread at the bus terminal, but after finishing my hospital appointment, I was hungry.
I looked around to see if there was a restaurant worth eating at.
Then, one shop caught my eye.
It was a common gimbap place you could see anywhere, but thinking about it, I had no memory of eating gimbap since coming down to Haenam.
“Two rows of gimbap and one ramyeon, please.”
I went inside, found a seat, and ordered, and the lady quickly rolled the gimbap and brought it to me.
Seeing the two rows of gimbap lined up side by side, I thought of the past.
My father was good at handling machinery and farming, but he had no talent for cooking.
When my mother was alive, my father hardly ever had to cook, and back then, I never had to hold a knife in the kitchen either.
The problem arose after my mother passed away. From then on, my father started cooking, and he went through a lot of trial and error.
While living day by day like that, a great difficulty approached my father.
It was that I was going on a field trip.
When my mother was alive, she packed gimbap on the morning of field trip days.
And the leftover gimbap was put in the refrigerator and eaten together with warm egg soup. It was a happy memory, but since she had passed away, I didn’t expect that.
Then my father said,
“I’ll pack you gimbap.”
Had it been to keep his son from feeling his mother’s absence?
Father woke up early on the morning of the field trip day and packed gimbap. I took the gimbap my father had packed and went on the field trip, but when I opened the lunchbox to eat, it was a bit of a shock.
The gimbap couldn’t endure the filling and had burst at the sides. Without thinking, I quickly covered it with the lunchbox lid, but my friends who saw it started teasing me.
Then Areum’s mother, who had been my homeroom teacher, came and said,
“Kids, gimbap is supposed to be full of ingredients, so when it bursts like this, it tastes even better. Minu, could you give me one, teacher?”
I gave gimbap to that teacher.
The teacher ate it deliciously, and I gained the confidence to take out my gimbap in front of my friends.
Although the shape was a bit off, fortunately, it tasted good.
And thinking of my father who had struggled to roll the gimbap, I too wanted to cook something delicious for him.
So I started with simple dishes, and while living alone in Gwangju, my skills improved greatly.
Now I had the skill to make gimbap easily, but the regret was that there were no parents left to show this skill to.
I picked up a piece of gimbap and put it in my mouth, and it tasted exactly like the gimbap with seasoned salt my mother used to make when I was young.
At the taste of the memory, a smile came to my face before I knew it, and the lady brought over a steaming ramyeon as well.
“I’ll enjoy it.”
****
“I’ll go with this.”
“Yes, please come this way and we’ll help you with the contract.”
After lunch, I spent the afternoon looking at cars.
I had gone around looking for a place that sold pickup trucks on Mandeoki’s recommendation, but it wasn’t only because of the merits he had talked about.
Upon looking into it, pickup trucks were also good for other uses, and what caught my interest was camping.
Occasionally when I came down from Gwangju, I would light a charcoal fire and grill meat with my father.
It was nice because we could eat simply without needing to cook other dishes, but my father liked having a glass of soju with the meat like that.
Watching TV, I often saw celebrities going on trips in camper vans, and for some reason, I felt like I wanted to try that too.
So I went around car dealerships that sold pickup trucks, and among several brands, one was holding a decent event.
It was a pickup truck from Company J, and they were doing a pre-release limited to one hundred units so that customers could receive the vehicle right away.
Other places said you had to wait at least four months for delivery due to the shortage of automotive semiconductors, but here they said you could get the car in about a week because they were keeping the vehicles in a warehouse in Busan.
“Could you sign here, please?”
As I picked up the electronic pen to sign, the car’s name and price were visible.
Gladiator 70.7 million won
If I added options and later installed things needed for camping, it would be even more expensive.
I wondered if buying a Benz like Gu Sang-ho hyung wouldn’t be better with this kind of money, but this car’s exterior wasn’t bad either.
‘Yeah, camping is all about the vibe.’
It was expensive to drive around the countryside, but since it was an off-road vehicle, it seemed like it would fit.
Moreover, the road leading down to the house was a downhill slope, so when it snowed in winter, it had been hard to drive up; but with this car, I probably wouldn’t have to worry about that.
I bought a tractor and got a new car.
I did the math, and it seemed I had spent nearly two hundred million won this month.
I had thought I should spend some money, but I also felt like I had suddenly spent too much more than expected.
I had spent quite a bit of money, but I decided to think of it as an investment for rural life. The tractor was one thing, but the car was also absolutely necessary for farming.
After signing the contract and leaving the dealership, I opened my phone to check the time, and it was already nearly six o’clock.
I was supposed to meet someone in the evening, and it seemed I had to hurry to get to the appointment.
“It feels like I haven’t seen them in a while. I wonder if everyone’s doing well?”
****
“Hello, boss.”
“Oh, long time no see. Is today the day you guys meet?”
When I opened the door and went in, the boss welcomed me gladly.
I was meeting college friends today, and this was the grilled meat restaurant where we always gathered to eat.
“Yes, the guys will be here soon.”
“Got it. I’ll get the charcoal ready right away.”
I sat down and drank water, feeling a little excited at the thought of seeing my friends after so long.
Gim Su-hyeon, whose hometown is Wando.
Mun Seong-il, whose hometown is Gangjin.
Bak Geon-hyeong, whose hometown is Mokpo.
And me, whose hometown is Haenam.
The four of us were friends from the same department. Since everyone’s hometowns were in the provinces, we lived together in the dormitory, and perhaps because we ate together and took classes together every day, we were able to get close quickly.
We had been close for ten years like that, and when my father passed away and I was out of it, the very first ones to run over and help were these guys.
When I said I was going down to Haenam, they had all been very worried, but since I was in Gwangju, I thought I’d meet them and see their faces after a long time.
I was blankly waiting while looking at the charcoal the owner had prepared when I heard someone call me.
“Minu!”
I looked toward the entrance, and Geon-hyeong was smiling and approaching me.
“What, you’re early?”
“I just got here too.”
Geon-hyeong sat in front of me and asked,
“Is country life manageable?”
He seemed very curious about how I had been, and of course, I was satisfied.
But I didn’t answer. Once everyone gathered, they were obviously going to ask the same thing.
“Let’s save the status talk for later when everyone’s here. We’re eating the usual, right?”
“Of course.”
Thinking of placing the order first, I called the boss.
“Pork neck with skin here, please.”
Nadeuri’s samgyeopsal was delicious too, but we usually ordered whole pork neck with skin.
Cutting the thick pork neck into bite-sized pieces and dipping them together with the skin in sweet chili sauce was incredibly delicious.
Not long after we ordered, the rest of the friends arrived.
“Hey, Minu. Long time no see. Is country life manageable?”
Su-hyeon asked me, and as expected, I had known he would ask the same thing.
“Yeah, I was a bit worried at first, but I think it’s fine.”
“That’s good to hear. So are you farming now?”
“For now I’m just tending a small vegetable garden, but I’m planning to start sweet potato farming in May…”
It was a sorry thing to say, but I didn’t bring up the lottery with my friends.
Judging by the friends I had known all this time, I didn’t think money would cause problems, but I figured you never know with people.
Because in life, there are many times when situations push you that way even if you don’t want them to.
“How about you guys? Is work bearable?”
I had quit my job and come down to the countryside, but my friends were still working hard at their companies.
“Corporate life is all the same. We’re forcing ourselves to go to make money.”
My friends’ expressions soured at my words, but then again, I hadn’t gone to work because I liked the company either.
“Yeah, everyone has it rough. I’ll treat you guys tonight, so eat a lot.”
My friends put on puzzled expressions at my offer to buy dinner.
“Seriously?”
“Yeah, it’s on me.”
“Minu, what’s gotten into you?”
I wasn’t a cheapskate, but I had always insisted on going Dutch among my friends.
I had said we should split what we ate fairly among friends because I was worried that if someone treated and someone didn’t, it might cause hard feelings between us.
So when someone like me suddenly said I would buy a meal, my friends looked intrigued.
“I feel like I just got by with words of thanks after Dad passed away, so I wanted to buy you guys a meal.”
Come to think of it, they were the ones who had helped faster than anyone, but at the time I had been too busy pulling myself together to pay much attention.
Looking back now, I felt a little sorry, and I wanted to repay them even a little with this.
At my words, Seong-il suddenly loosened his belt and started talking big.
“Really? Well, we did suffer back then. You know how much I eat, right?”
“Yeah, eat a lot.”