Soon, James spoke again.
“First, I’m sorry.”
“Pardon?”
“I’m sorry for pushing you. I wanted to hear what was in your heart at least once.”
“Ah.”
Only then did Taesu understand why the conversation had flowed this way.
Looking back on the situation?
From the moment Taesu had first tried to act glib—no, from the moment he had been summoned—James must have already had a plan in mind.
Unaware of that, Taesu alone had been tossed up and down by all sorts of emotions.
He was exactly like a monkey performing tricks in the palm of Buddha’s hand.
Scratch.
Feeling awkward, Taesu needlessly rubbed his cheek with his fingertips.
James spoke to him in an even calmer voice.
“You showed me what was inside you, so I should give you an answer as well.”
“……”
“If that’s how you feel, I don’t think it would be bad to entrust myself to you.”
At that answer, Taesu’s eyes flew wide open.
“R-really?”
“Of course, not now. I’m not so experimental that I’d entrust myself to a doctor who’s still unfamiliar with spinal implants.”
“That’s true.”
Taesu looked sheepish, but James remained serious.
“You won’t be able to escape my eyes until I’m convinced it’s all right to entrust myself to you, Dr. Choi.”
“You mean?”
“Don’t misunderstand. I have no intention of taking you around with me.”
“……”
“Meeting in the operating room from time to time, like this morning, will be enough.”
James stated the line he had drawn.
Taesu found it a little bitter.
Perhaps because he had just revealed his true feelings, he spoke everything he wanted to say without holding back.
“I thought you might at least say you’d keep me by your side.”
“Do you want to go around with me?”
“Of course. Any doctor would feel the same.”
Taesu answered with his eyes wide.
But James shook his head coldly, almost decisively.
“With your skill, you’re nowhere close.”
“Yes… My skill. You’re right.”
“No need to take it to heart like that. I was quite satisfied with this morning’s surgery.”
“What part, exactly?”
Taesu’s eyes drooped as he asked sincerely.
James, on the other hand, smiled faintly as he answered.
“Find that out for yourself.”
“Couldn’t you tell me?”
“If you’re looking for such an easy path, I’ll find you a flight back to Korea right away.”
At those words, Taesu flinched.
“That’s not what I meant.”
“Look at you getting tense. I have no intention of doing that, and who doesn’t know you’re not the type to leave quietly? Relax.”
“Ahem.”
Embarrassed, Taesu forced out a cough.
Then James spoke again and asked.
“Dr. Choi, did you just call yourself a coward?”
“Yes.”
“Then break that fear first.”
“……”
“Become a doctor patients have no choice but to trust. Then I’ll gladly entrust myself to you, Dr. Choi.”
James offered his advice with an unwavering gaze.
It was advice so deep it seemed to reach far down.
Before he knew it, Taesu’s eyes had grown just as firm.
“Finding what you just mentioned is the beginning, isn’t it?”
“Of course.”
“I won’t disappoint you.”
“You’d better not.”
“Thank you.”
Bow.
Taesu bowed his head while seated.
It was precious advice that would not have been repaid even if he had prostrated himself.
But there was a reason he made do with this simplified gesture.
It was because he had resolved to save that day for when James acknowledged his skill.
For the first time in a long while, Taesu’s heart stirred.
And he was certain.
That would be the day he returned to Korea.
‘Two years from now.’
It was the deadline he set inwardly.
A device to drive himself even harder.
He would do it, no matter what.
His eyes filled with fierce resolve.
Even that was not enough.
Clench.
Under the table, he clenched his fist as if to crush it.
That was when Taesu was filling himself with that resolve.
Tap.
At the sound of the table being struck, Taesu came out of his thoughts.
The person responsible was, of course, James.
As if he had seen right through Taesu’s state of mind, one corner of his mouth was lifted slightly.
Before Taesu could even wonder about it, James spoke.
“This isn’t something you can accomplish just by filling yourself with venom.”
“Ahem. Yes.”
“Anyway, you should think that matter over carefully, Dr. Choi. For now, I need to tell you the business at hand.”
“There’s something else?”
As soon as Taesu asked, James’s hand moved.
Slide.
He pushed the bundle of papers lying on the table toward Taesu and began speaking.
“Listen carefully from here on. So…”
James’s explanation continued at length.
Taesu’s reaction as he listened changed in real time.
“Ah, yes… Huh? … Eeh.”
“Don’t say strange things. I told you to listen carefully.”
“Ah, yes.”
“After that…”
James continued speaking with a serious expression from beginning to end.
Taesu, listening, kept his mouth shut and paid close attention.
But the more he listened, the more varied his expression became.
After the conversation with James ended.
Taesu went straight to find Ohamed.
No, he was on his way there.
Ohamed’s wife had been hospitalized in the ward inside the NGO headquarters building.
So Taesu approached the entrance, but Ohamed came rushing out in a panic.
He had been an impressive patient at first glance, so Taesu recognized him immediately.
But it seemed Taesu was not the only one who did.
Pat-pat.
As soon as Ohamed saw Taesu, he hurried over and grabbed both of his hands.
“Oh, oh, oh.”
With an overwhelmed face, he kept uttering exclamations.
His expression and actions clearly showed that he remembered Taesu.
Taesu found that surprising.
But there was no one there to interpret.
As he looked around, Ohamed spoke in halting English.
“I, you, remember.”
“Me too. I remember you too.”
“Thank you. You, saved my life.”
His words carried his distinct, rough accent, but they were understandable.
Avoiding difficult words, Taesu answered as simply as possible.
“How do you remember me?”
“What?”
“Me, remember, how?”
When Taesu similarly broke his words into pieces, Ohamed understood and opened his eyes wide.
“Not remember, impossible.”
“So how?”
“You me, like this, like this. I saw then.”
He moved his body this way and that to act it out.
He had recovered to that degree—no, he had become healthy.
Because the memory was still vivid, Taesu immediately understood his movements.
“Ah, when I hugged you and fell over.”
“Yes. Then, saw your face.”
“It must have hurt.”
“It hurt. Chest hurt, back hurt too.”
At that, Taesu gave an awkward smile.
“Ahem. I was a little rough.”
“No. Then your eyes, very urgent. That I remember.”
“Mm.”
“And Dr. James, Dr. Isakson, I heard everything.”
At the same time as those words—
Squeeze.
Ohamed gripped Taesu’s hands tightly and spoke with tear-filled eyes.
“I woke up, could see wife. Wife, gained strength from my voice. You saved both of us.”
“This is an NGO. It was only natural.”
Shake, shake.
“I remember you. Until I die, even after death, I will not forget you.”
“Thank you.”
“%$@$.@#$.”
Ohamed held tightly to Taesu’s hands and murmured in the local language.
A few of the words were familiar even to Taesu’s ears.
He guessed it was something invoking God and giving a blessing.
Taesu accepted his heartfelt prayer with his own heart.
Meetings with patients, no matter when or at what moment, always brought joy and reward like this.
This was the very magic that medicine possessed.
Once you fell into it, it was like a swamp you could never escape.
No, he did not want to escape.
The fierce resolve Taesu had hardened during his meeting with James slowly melted away.
‘Maybe two years isn’t short enough?’
If he kept feeling rewards like this, he might even regret how quickly time passed.
It was completely different from what he had thought earlier.
It did not matter.
A person’s heart was originally something that could flip this way and that, like turning over one’s hand.
What mattered more was what kind of standard one held inside it.
I have to improve further.
The desire to improve his skill more, for himself and for his patients.
That was Taesu’s standard.
Evening had fallen, darkness settling in.
Creak.
The lodging door opened, and Taesu entered holding an envelope of documents.
Inside were Jeong Minsu, Brad Kim, and Kim Hyeokgwon.
Each of them had been resting in a comfortable posture, but the moment they saw Taesu, they sprang to their feet.
Among them, Jeong Minsu, with a haggard face, pressed Taesu with questions.
“Why did the doctor call you? What did he say? Why did he ask for you?”
“Hey, you’re making my head spin.”
“Your head might just be spinning. I’m one step away from labile hypertension right now. My heart’s pounding like it’s going to burst.”
Jeong Minsu shouted hysterically.
It seemed every minute and every second he had spent waiting for Taesu had been a succession of tension.
He must have been so anxious on his own that even his plump cheeks looked hollow.
As if he had completely forgotten his fatigue, his eyes were opened so wide they seemed about to pop out.
It was not only Jeong Minsu who had been worried.
Looking around, Brad Kim’s complexion was no better.
“Brad, are you all right?”
“I think whether I’m all right or not will be decided after I hear what the doctor said. So hurry up and let me breathe. Quickly.”
Even the composed Brad Kim was urging him on.
That was how much he must have been on edge.
Taesu smiled bitterly.
Jeong Minsu was one thing, but he had not expected even Brad Kim to be like this.
Still, fortunately, before parting with James, he had spoken briefly about them.
He could just relay that exactly.
That was when—
“Taesu, I’m dying. Save me, please.”
Jeong Minsu came right up under his chin and pleaded.
It made one wonder just how bad it had been for him to act this way.
Even so, Taesu first observed the spirit of respecting one’s elders.
“Minsu, you’re next.”
“Urk.”
“If you feel wronged, you should’ve been born earlier.”
“I should have. Then I’d have been your senior. No, wait, that guy under me? Ugh.”
Jeong Minsu muttered to himself, reaching a strange conclusion.
Whether he did or not, Taesu looked for Brad Kim.
“Brad, the doctor said…”
“Huh? The doctor. R-right. Tell me. I, I’m ready to hear… Whew, whew. I’m ready.”
“He said you made a good decision.”
At Taesu’s answer, Brad Kim frowned.
“What does that mean?”
“I told him you’d be traveling with us from now on.”
“No, not that. I mean in the operating room.”
As if he could not bear the frustration, Brad Kim abandoned his usual quiet self and shouted.
Still, Taesu answered calmly.
“He said he’d see you at the next surgery.”
“The next one? He’s going to operate with me again?”
Even when Brad Kim asked in surprise, Taesu responded evenly.
“I asked him something similar, and he said if the opportunity arises, why wouldn’t he?”
“And, and? Was there anything else? Is that it?”
“He told you not to think about making up for your mistake, and that he’ll look forward to an even more improved Brad.”
Taesu relayed exactly what he had heard.
Strangely, however, there was no reaction from Brad Kim.
“……”
Just as Taesu was wondering about it—
Slide.
Brad Kim, who was seated at the table, turned his body toward the wall. Then he lightly leaned his head against it and did not move at all.
The moment Taesu saw that, he gave up on calling out to him.
It seemed Brad had a great deal to think about on his own.