"……As I said before, I'm content with just mourning."
"It's not me, but Lady Anelli."
Zenon, who denied my words with a firm voice, furrowed his brows.
"That peace you speak of, Lady Anelli will also obtain it. That means...."
Zenon bit his lip hard. His face seen up close looked somewhat tormented.
"It means you'll also disappear before my eyes, just like them."
The words he muttered quickly were essentially a monologue. Perhaps he was gritting his teeth, for Zenon's jaw was clenched tight.
Zenon, who had been clenching his jaw as if enduring something, forced a smile.
"Of course, even assuming I'll follow right after, having to see that first is a bit..."
Scratching the back of his head, he soon sat down on the spot. After settling his bottom fully on the ground and casting his gaze at the floor, he finished speaking in a voice mixed with a sigh.
"I need to prepare myself mentally."
I stood and gazed down at Zenon. From above, I could clearly see the top of his head, messily disheveled.
Though he wasn't the type to groom himself neatly even normally, looking at the state of it, he seemed to have run his hands roughly through his hair several times before I arrived.
I almost reached out to touch that hair, but hesitated and withdrew my hand.
Instead, I crouched down beside Zenon. Ignoring the puzzled gaze I felt from beside me, I raised both knees, rested my chin on them, and stared blankly into empty space.
"My Durahans who cherish me are disappearing. When this end is reached, I will be left alone."
When will Morri's peace come? It wouldn't be strange at all if he regained his head right above those stairs this very moment.
"Everyone will disappear."
Just like the dream Rusalka showed me.
To shake off the depression creeping up to my throat, I squeezed my eyes shut then opened them. Then I reached out one hand to the side.
"……Will you hold my hand?"
I still didn't look at him. But I could feel him persistently watching me.
Soon, thick, firm fingers intertwined between mine. The grip of his fingers laced tightly with mine was strong.
Zenon didn't say anything in particular, but just from holding hands, I could guess what he wanted to convey to me, and it made me smile.
"Zenon, do you think there's a place for me somewhere in this land?"
"Of course."
It was a somewhat vague question from my perspective, but Zenon nodded immediately as if stating an obvious answer.
"Where?"
"Beside me."
I turned to look at him with an incredulous face without realizing it. I thought he might be joking, but Zenon wore a more serious expression than ever.
Of course, the grip of our intertwined hands remained just as firm.
Perhaps... maybe I really had been underestimating Zenon's feelings.
He seemed to have no intention of leaving me alone. Whatever my ending may be.
Is that why? The inner thoughts I had never properly voiced before flowed out naturally.
"The reason I've continued this journey without hesitation until now is because it didn't matter what awaited at the end."
Because I had no expectations for life whatsoever. Because meeting anyone, anywhere, held no meaning for me.
I swallowed dryly and slowly lowered my eyes. After gazing quietly at Zenon's hand tightly holding mine, I raised my head again to look at his face.
The persistent fear I had been deliberately ignoring was gradually surfacing. I know this emotion.
Because I've already experienced it.
"But now I'm afraid. Afraid that I might die."
When I received a terminal sentence, I desperately searched for a way to live.
I pushed away those who scolded me, saying resting would be more helpful, and struggled to gain certainty that I wouldn't die.
I back then... was truly terrified.
My death suddenly declared, the love I would lose because of it, everything I cherished.
Chased by the shadow of death strangling me from close range, I couldn't think rationally.
Right now I'm feeling the same emotion as back then.
I don't know when it started, but this revived life has become somewhat precious to me.
Clenching my molars tight, I grasped Zenon's hand in return. Gripping his hand tightly, I declared while looking into Zenon's eyes.
"But I won't die."
I will obtain the peace I desire. Just as the knights did, so shall I.
"So Zenon, you must wait. Even if I disappear before your eyes."
Anxiety settled in his golden eyes that had widened in surprise. I gripped his hand even tighter.
"When I open my eyes again, you must be there."
"……You're not lying, are you?"
"No."
Zenon, who had been gazing at our clasped hands, let out a long sigh.
Then he leaned his head toward me, placed a light kiss, and whispered in a soft voice.
"Please return soon."
Zenon's lips were right before me, so his warm breath touched me whenever he spoke.
"I will prepare this castle well."
At those words, I burst into laughter without thinking. The magic he had wrought in the imperial garden to commemorate our kiss crossed my mind.
If it's Zenon, he could probably transform even this ruined castle quite beautifully.
"Yes, you've always shown me wonderful scenery. This time will be no different."
"I'm glad you believe it. I'm good at things like that."
"When we had our first kiss, you commemorated it with a magic garden. How about commemorating our reunion this time?"
"Reunion? We're not parting in the first place, so why commemorate a reunion?"
Zenon retorted lightly, then after pondering for a moment, shrugged his shoulders.
"First, I'll decorate this castle as much as possible, and when Lady Anelli returns, let me commit some memorable deed."
"Ha!"
This time the laughter burst out a bit louder. Zenon laughed along with me. After the laughter came a playful kiss.
It was a sweet moment of rest that made me forget everything for a brief while.
* * *
After chatting with Zenon for a while and returning, Samuel also came down alone.
He said he had checked for any potential danger upstairs. But I thought perhaps he had gone to reminisce about the past.
Recently, Samuel had become noticeably more taciturn and spent more time lost in thought alone.
There was no need to express my speculation outwardly, so I just nodded and moved on.
We started moving again with Samuel in the lead. The stone stairs spiraled upward in a long curve, and the distance between floors was greater than expected, so we had quite a climb ahead.
[A, am I not too heavy?]
Morri suddenly asked. Perhaps he misunderstood since I was breathing heavily from climbing the steeper-than-expected stairs.
I looked down at the pocket containing Morri with an absurd expression.
"You?"
Perhaps realizing his question was a bit strange even to himself, Morri subtly averted his gaze.
Then, as if suddenly thinking of a plausible excuse, he raised his head abruptly.
[If, if I suddenly regain my head, just in case....]
"If that happens, the pocket will tear first. Before I can even feel your weight."
Morri, who had been momentarily triumphant, lowered his head again as if embarrassed.
His words, spoken as if out of concern for me, were absurd and ridiculous, but seeing him show even this strange enthusiasm was much better. I gently patted Morri's head with my fingertips.
"If you were heavy, I wouldn't be carrying you around."
At my words, relief settled in Morri's large eyes.
Left alone, Morri was holding up more composedly than expected.
Whether it was because of Nadav's parting words just before he disappeared, or because he felt responsibility as the last remaining knight, I don't know.
Either way, it was unexpected to me.
Morri was clearly the weakest among the knights, he couldn't hide his depression whenever parting from the knights, and he had even cried alone in the pocket.
Now that he was actually alone, Morri neither cried nor became depressed.
He just observed me more carefully and tried his best to look after my comfort.
"But Morri, you've had all your memories from the beginning."
[Y, yes.]
"Then you should already know where you'll regain your head, so why are you worried about suddenly regaining it?"
[Ah....]
Morri, who had been hesitating, carefully began to speak.
[Actually, not all knights regained their heads where they d, died....]
"...Is that so?"
[Yes, yes. For example, Minte didn't die at the watchtower but beneath it, and the older brother also... precisely speaking, died while blocking the entrance to the stairs with his body....]
I nodded.
In other words, if what Morri said was true, it meant that the knights' heads existed where they died, or where their lingering thoughts remained strongly.
"Then where did you think your head would be?"
[Umm....]
Perhaps his words were stuck, for Morri couldn't readily open his mouth.
Even though he remembered everything, asking him to say where he died might be too cruel?
I was about to tell him to forget it when Morri answered in a cautious tone.
[In f, front of the main tower entrance.]
"...In front of the main tower entrance?"
Was he in charge of the main tower entrance?
But Zigor was with Nadav, so it didn't seem like they would have left Morri outside alone.
I tilted my head with a puzzled expression, and Morri added hesitantly.
[My breath... ended there.]
My steps, which had been climbing slowly but steadily, came to an abrupt halt.
Zenon, following behind, asked what was wrong, but I had no mind to answer.
I could hear Samuel's footsteps also stopping, several stairs ahead.
As the footsteps echoing through the stairway vanished all at once, Morri's voice was heard even more clearly.
[I fell from the top of the main tower and died from the fall.]
His voice, speaking of the moment of his own death, was terribly calm.