Tristan, who had been standing blankly, managed an awkward smile.
What exactly should he call this feeling? In this moment, he felt somewhat self-conscious and embarrassed.
It felt a bit uncomfortable that Aneli seemed to know about his own death, when he himself couldn't even remember it.
"Anyway, it's my turn now to seek rest."
So Tristan hastily changed the subject.
"Haha. Look at this, Zigor. Sure enough, I stood at the vanguard more than you did!"
At the same time, he casually spoke to Zigor in a cheerful voice. However, Zigor did not answer his foolish provocation. The other Dullahans were the same.
Tristan looked at his comrades with vague eyes, then rubbed his face with his hand. The smile he had been forcing disappeared as if washed away with a single wipe.
"Tristan."
At Aneli's quiet call, Tristan's lips twitched.
"I... rest...."
Tristan, who had been stumbling over his words, couldn't bring himself to finish and tightly sealed his lips.
Unable to hide his complicated feelings, Tristan dropped his gaze downward. Fixing his eyes at his feet, he barely managed to open his mouth again.
"......I don't know if I deserve rest."
He failed to protect the residents of the outer city, and failed to properly defend the position assigned to him—did such a person truly deserve rest?
Having learned that his blood had been scattered on the roadside in vain, what exactly could someone like him ask for?
"Why would you not deserve it?"
"I did not properly carry out the Commander's orders."
No matter how much he searched his memories, he couldn't recall facing the traitor with his sword. Even the memory of leaving his post and returning was close to a blurry afterimage.
"When I couldn't protect anything, how could I dare...."
Tristan, who had been standing blankly, quietly looked down at both his hands.
In truth, he knew. That saving everyone was impossible. He had known this in the past as well.
Knowing this, he had left his post. Knowing he couldn't save them, he had still run to them. Knowing his body was already a wreck, he had returned, determined to at least watch over the crossroads.
It was because of his greed. The greed to accomplish everything had created a result that was neither here nor there.
"You carried out your mission."
Tristan, who had been rambling, suddenly lifted his head.
"Though you may not have been whole, you certainly stood in my way."
Samuel, the first knight of the Round Table.
Tristan recognized him. He was the knight who had served the Commander with all his heart, and the first strong knight the Commander had taken in.
Because everyone had trusted Samuel, his betrayal had been even more shocking and had carried greater repercussions.
Tristan gazed at Samuel intently.
"You merely lost to me."
Samuel spoke of the defeat that Tristan could not remember.
Surprisingly, those words gave Tristan a small measure of comfort. Hearing testimony from the traitor who had cut him down, he thought perhaps his death hadn't been entirely meaningless.
But that was merely a momentary relief. Tristan's gaze gradually sank into darkness.
Even if his death hadn't been meaningless, the appearance of the outer city residents he remembered did not change. The fact that Tristan had failed to protect them remained clear.
That the last scene he properly remembered was the suffering of the outer city residents. For Tristan, this could only be gloomy.
As if sensing his heart, Aneli spoke in a firm voice.
"No one can discuss your right to rest. I will not allow it."
Aneli's words seemed both like a scolding and like consolation to Tristan.
Either way, to Tristan, they were kind words.
"Tristan, I will give you rest. The rest you need."
Aneli extended her hand glowing green. Warm light rippled, beckoning to Tristan.
Right now, he could escape the painful memories troubling his mind. If he took this hand before his eyes, the goddess's power would lead him to peaceful rest.
But Tristan couldn't readily do so.
What he had tried to protect was now gone. Everything had become the past.
So he too should close his eyes without lingering attachment, yet he couldn't bring himself to do so. Even though his Commander had personally declared that he deserved rest.
"If not me, I don't know who will remember them."
Tristan quietly began to speak.
"If I say I want to keep these imperfect memories even though they are painful, is that refusing rest?"
It wasn't a question particularly expecting an answer. Originally, it was a question he was asking himself.
Tristan rummaged through his aching head to trace his memories. He still didn't understand anything like a fight with the traitor.
Scenes more important than the scene of losing to the traitor were scattered throughout his memories.
The memories of the outer city residents he had barely regained. Tristan didn't want to lose this.
"Commander, I don't really know what rest I desire."
Tristan murmured with a confused face and cautiously raised his eyes.
Aneli was looking at him with an ambiguous gaze. Her eyes were still full of moisture, but she didn't look emotional at all.
He couldn't refuse rest. Perhaps that would be impossible. Tristan submitted to the calm gaze of his Commander watching him.
"But since you said you would give me the rest I need, I humbly ask you to guide me."
Tristan decided to trust his Commander. She knew about his death that he couldn't remember.
Since she had declared he deserved rest, she would guide him rightly. As she had in the past, so too this time.
"I am the eleventh knight saved by you. Though foolish, I strove to engrave and practice your words. Yet being still insufficient, I shamefully show you my wandering."
He didn't know where the warm green light would lead him. He couldn't believe the goddess's power would push him into hell, but he couldn't simply wait joyfully for a future he couldn't even fathom.
In truth, though he couldn't say it aloud, Tristan was afraid right now. Of the rest he himself didn't know.
He was confused and frightened because he didn't know where that power would lead him. But what could he do?
"Please teach your lost knight."
Tristan knelt on one knee before Aneli. Trembling at the rest that had come right before him, he bowed his head, trying to hide his fear.
A warm touch reached his forehead.
His jumbled mind gradually calmed down. The power gently enveloped the memories regarding the outer city residents.
The memories of residents bleeding and screaming disappeared, and their healthy faces greeting him brightly became clear.
Only then did Tristan realize what he wanted. And he had a premonition.
"Commander...."
Perhaps this warm power would bring about the rest he desired.
* * *
The tears had stopped, but my eyes stung.
It was because I had wiped them too hard. Even without looking in a mirror, I could guess the skin had swollen red.
"Please press this against your eye area. I've applied magic to make it cold."
As I was pressing my stinging eyelids firmly with my fingers, a cold sensation touched my eyes. It was a handkerchief with magic applied.
When I glanced sideways, I saw Xenon looking at me with worried eyes.
"Your tears have stopped."
Xenon, who had examined my complexion, breathed a sigh of relief.
"You cried so much, I was startled."
"They weren't my tears."
"Pardon?"
Pressing my eye area with the handkerchief Xenon had given me, I turned my head.
"Those were traces from my past life."
The gate leading to the inner city was wide open.
After gazing beyond that opened gate, I tilted my head back and saw the top of the distant fortress wall.
My past life's Commander probably looked down at Tristan from up there. Since she directly watched Tristan die, she must have been overcome with such intense emotion.
A young man with blonde curly hair and blue eyes, falling while covered in blood—that sight.
Since the aftermath of that time reached even me now, I could guess how great that despair must have been.
Her feelings, having to watch the death of a knight she had personally taken in right before her eyes....
"Xenon."
"Yes?"
"What do you think I'm doing right now?"
"......Pardon?"
Xenon didn't seem to properly understand my question. I glanced at him briefly, then quietly moved my feet.
The moment I passed through the gate, cool air brushed past my neck. It was probably the cold seeped into the stone walls.
"I don't want rest, Commander...."
"I don't really know what rest I desire."
The appearance of Palides whispering while crying and the confused Tristan passed through my mind in turn.
Finding their heads and granting them rest.
I had guessed that was the moment Dullahans had longed for. Since I heard I should find heads for incomplete Dullahans, I did so.
But what if Dullahans don't want that?
The more I found Dullahans' heads and granted them rest, the greater the confusion grew.
What exactly am I doing here right now?
'Is this also just the behavior of a puppet?'
With only the difference of which god it is, how is this different from Lilia acting as a puppet of genesis?
'Is what I'm giving the Dullahans truly the rest they desire?'
Suddenly looking up at the main tower that had drawn closer, I looked back at the Dullahans shuffling about a bit behind.
The Dullahans who had watched Tristan receive rest were noticeably subdued.
They no longer made noise artificially. Even seeing the path to the inner city opened, no one stepped forward first.
Among the Dullahans hesitating like that, Minte was the first to move.
[Finally, the inner city.]
At Minte's appearance striding into the inner city, Bark groaned.
[Minte....]
Bark's voice calling Minte's name was trembling slightly.
It wasn't hard to guess the reason.
"Minte from the fortress wall will soon come out to support. If it's Minte, alone would be sufficient to hold this place."
Since Tristan had told them who the next knight to receive rest would be.