Damn Idol - Chapter 93

Damn Idol Episode 93

* * *

He had never once shown it in front of the members, but Choi Jaeseong often regretted choosing Sedalbaegil instead of Ryan.

Especially last week.

When they had gone around performing at countless indie shows, yet not a single article came out.

When it felt as though the world would not look at “Sedalbaegil from Coming Up Next,” but only at “just Sedalbaegil.”

The feeling of regret grew stronger.

Choi Jaeseong wanted to become famous.

He wanted to become popular, and he wanted to show them.

That the person you all looked down on was being loved by the public.

That I was someone who could have been loved plenty, too.

So the moment he felt the pressure from Ryan Entertainment, he became afraid.

What if he never became famous until the very end?

If he had stayed with Ryan Entertainment, wouldn’t he have been able to debut in a year or two?

Had his decision to choose Sedalbaegil been a mistake?

But when a few more days passed.

As he watched through the performance videos Han Sion had filmed by hiring part-timers, Choi Jaeseong was able to realize his true feelings.

He did not regret choosing Sedalbaegil.

He had been terrified and wanted to run away.

And what was he so afraid of…?

Of falling behind.

He was afraid he would become someone unnecessary in Sedalbaegil.

After running away because he did not want to become someone useless, he was afraid he would become useless again in Sedalbaegil.

Choi Jaeseong did not think his fear was groundless.

Couldn’t anyone tell just by watching the performance footage?

Han Sion, Gu Taehwan, Lee Ion, On Saemiro—they all stood out.

But not him.

That was what made Choi Jaeseong afraid.

Han Sion, needless to say, was a genius.

Among every musician he had ever seen since he was born, he was the most outstanding.

Not an idol—a musician.

Thanks to his family environment, Choi Jaeseong had met countless musicians, and had frequently witnessed their talents.

But he could state with certainty that none of them surpassed Han Sion.

If he said that, those who looked down on idols might scoff.

That it was nonsense.

That there was no way Han Sion possessed greater ability than classical performers, traditional Korean musicians, pure-music composers, or orchestra conductors.

But in Choi Jaeseong’s eyes, that was how it was.

He could not be sure how deep Han Sion’s musical knowledge went.

Han Sion was not the type to boast about what he knew.

But in the end, music was the act of combining notes to create sound.

If you wanted that sound to become perfect, it was pure music; if you wanted it to become beautiful, it was classical; if you wanted people to like it, it was popular music.

Han Sion could do all of it.

At times, he pursued a direction with mass appeal; at times, he chose a way to make it beautiful.

Choi Jaeseong had never seen him pursue perfection, but he had seen him do something similar when producing Lee Ion.

So to Choi Jaeseong, Han Sion was not someone to compare himself against.

He was someone to admire.

The problem was the other members.

Gu Taehwan, On Saemiro, Lee Ion.

When the program first began, they had been people whose strengths and weaknesses were clearly divided.

Gu Taehwan had a powerful opening, but could not properly carry an entire song, and On Saemiro had issues with his mentality.

As for Lee Ion, aside from his looks, he did not have any particular strength that stood out.

So at that time, Choi Jaeseong had still held a relative advantage over the members.

Because he had no weaknesses.

He did not have a distinct strength, but compared to members with distinct weaknesses, he was stable.

But as time passed, the situation changed.

The members began eliminating their weaknesses and maximizing their strengths.

Gu Taehwan worked to display a sense of rhythm throughout an entire song, and On Saemiro held on to his mentality.

Lee Ion’s transformation was especially dazzling.

Once he began studying how to make sound like an instrument, he became a completely different person.

Of course, according to Han Sion, Lee Ion’s weakness in terms of vocal tone still remained.

He said that was not something that could be corrected.

But he also said that if Lee Ion could produce perfect notes whenever he wanted, vocal tone was not that important.

After all, vocal tone was ultimately determined by one’s innate scale, intervals, and sound pressure, and he was controlling those.

In other words, all the members were moving forward.

Slowly, perhaps, but in the right direction.

All except Choi Jaeseong.

Of course, Han Sion had told him that he was needed.

“If you were a solo singer, it would be a weakness, but in a group, you need someone who holds the balance. In our team, that’s you.”

Since he was someone who never gave empty compliments when it came to music, it had to be the truth.

But Choi Jaeseong could not feel relieved.

He did not need to be the main character at every moment, but shouldn’t he be able to become the main character at least once?

If not, was he really needed on this team? It did not have to be Choi Jaeseong who was “the person who held the balance.”

He was afraid.

Choi Jaeseong was someone who could not endure being useless.

So he had to confirm it.

That he, too, could become the main character.

That it was all right for him to remain on this team.

And so, Choi Jaeseong went up on stage.

* * *

The stage where Sedalbaegil would appear as special guests today was the solo concert of the indie band “Baengmanwon.”

Until now, the indie performances Sedalbaegil had taken part in had all been small-scale shows with few audience members.

Even at most, there had been fewer than three hundred people, and sometimes there had been fewer than twenty.

But today was different.

The band Baengmanwon was currently the hottest band in the indie scene.

That was why nearly a thousand audience members had filled today’s venue.

This was also the reason Sedalbaegil was opening.

Because of ’s confidence that even if stars from a variety program that had surpassed ten percent in viewer ratings appeared, they were still the main act of today’s performance.

Under those circumstances, the first person to step onto the stage was Choi Jaeseong, standing alone beneath the lights.

“Choi Jaeseong! That’s Choi Jaeseong!”

“Holy shit!”

The Sedalbaegil fans who had fortunately come to the venue recognized Choi Jaeseong at once.

But Baengmanwon’s fans did not.

“Who is he?”

“You don’t know?”

Just because they did not recognize Choi Jaeseong did not mean they did not know Sedalbaegil.

But Sedalbaegil’s recognition and Choi Jaeseong’s recognition could not be the same.

When people thought of the group Sedalbaegil, the first person who came to mind was Han Sion, and the next was Lee Ion.

Perhaps Choi Jaeseong might even be fifth.

Amid a little interest and overwhelming indifference, the music began to flow.