Damn Idol, Chapter 74
As the NT representative left the filming set, Weppeul, who had been adjusting the stage blocking, came running over in alarm.
Judging by how late they noticed the representative, it didn’t seem like this had been a scheduled visit.
Or maybe he had been trying to visit without Kang Seokwoo, who was looking this way, noticing.
“We’ll go again with the rehearsal!”
After three rehearsals, the real shoot began.
—To the beat of my pounding heart
Weppeul’s stage was pretty good, and thanks to that, I was able to hum along while singing.
Ah, the reason I was singing along to Weppeul’s song was because the production team had ordered me to.
They said they’d release that footage as a cookie video and neatly reconcile me with Weppeul’s fandom.
At last, my turn arrived.
Bloom!
Bloom!
When the refreshing high note burst out, I could see the staff on Guseul Live’s side smiling in relief.
It seemed they’d been worried about what they would do if my skill had been staged…
As if that would be the case.
* * *
After filming for Guseul Live ended, I headed with PD Kang Seokwoo to a nearby Chinese restaurant with private rooms.
It was probably time for him to bring up the main point.
“This place is good.”
“Right? Whenever I have a shoot in Hapjeong, I always come here.”
Around the time the course meal was almost over, PD Kang Seokwoo broached the subject.
“You know I rate your intelligence highly, Han Sion, don’t you?”
“I know. Thankfully, you’ve treated me as an equal in our conversations.”
“That’s why I’m asking. How much have you figured out? And how do you feel right now?”
“How I feel?”
It was an out-of-the-blue question.
What would be different from how I usually felt?
It wasn’t as though I was experiencing mood swings like regression depression.
“You don’t seem to know yourself. Your attitude has been different from usual since earlier.”
“In what way?”
“Well… frustration? Resentment? You looked like you were feeling something like that.”
Me?
“You’re mistaken. What reason would I have to feel frustrated or wronged?”
“It was after you heard the judges’ comments on Three Months Hundred Days… Are you really at peace?”
“I believe I am.”
“Good. How much have you figured out?”
“I think M Show and Lion Entertainment have joined hands and are setting up a board to debut me with Take Scene.”
“…!”
PD Kang Seokwoo’s eyes widened.
It seemed my answer had been too correct.
After remaining silent for a long while, Kang Seokwoo drank some water.
“Hah, honestly. I can say I saw it because I know the whole board… But how did you know?”
“Because otherwise, there didn’t seem to be any reason to push me into the center of the program.”
“Couldn’t you have thought it was because you’re good?”
“For that, the money riding on Take Scene’s debut is too big. It was enough to produce an entire program.”
“Fine. Since you’ve already caught on, I’ll ask directly. Do you remember the conversation we had in the hallway after the B Team selection round?”
Of course I remembered.
“Hm. You know what Coming Up Next is too, don’t you, Han Sion?”
“I do. A program made to boost Take Scene.”
“Then why did you appear on it?”
“Because I wanted to choose.”
“Choose?”
“A situation where I don’t just wait blindly for someone to debut me, but can choose the hand that says it will.”
“Haha, interesting. I guess you really want to debut.”
“I think it’s something I have to do.”
Kang Seokwoo, who had been studying my eyes carefully, opened his mouth.
“The chance to choose that hand has arrived. NT must have made you a similar offer.”
“That’s right.”
“From what I heard, your goal was the fastest possible debut, Han Sion.”
“Yes.”
“Take Scene debuts in August. That’s fixed, so even if you suddenly join, it won’t change.”
August was right around the corner.
“In my opinion, no matter which agency you go to, you won’t be able to debut within this year. Even if it’s really fast, it’ll be the end of next year.”
If that was the case, then I had perfectly achieved my goal for appearing on Coming Up Next.
The two hands reaching out, saying they would debut me, were Lion and NT.
If I took Lion’s hand, I could debut the fastest, and if I took NT’s hand, I could debut with the best resources.
Even to my eyes, the guys at LMC were good.
But…
Strangely, I wasn’t very happy.
Maybe PD Kang Seokwoo was right when he said my emotional state was different from usual.
Enough that I asked a completely useless question.
“Then what happens to Three Months Hundred Days?”
“You mean their debut?”
“No. I’m talking about their share of the program.”
“It’ll keep going like this. To create the justification that Han Sion is the best, but as a team, Take Scene has no choice but to debut.”
He was saying they would disparage Three Months Hundred Days’ achievements until the program ended.
Through PD Kang Seokwoo’s hands, and through the judges’ mouths.
“Sorry, I think I got too immersed and overdid it. I thought I did well… Maybe I was too emotional.”
“Did I do well? I don’t remember how I did it. I couldn’t see anything on stage.”
Until that became public opinion.
When I hesitated, PD Kang Seokwoo let out a hearty laugh.
“Now you finally look a little like a twenty-year-old. Yes. Friendship is precious. I often felt good watching Three Months Hundred Days too.”
“But… it’s meaningless. If they can’t debut.”
“That’s right. Whether Three Months Hundred Days is criticized or praised to the skies, nothing changes. In the end, they’ll become trainees at Lion Entertainment, and when Coming Up Next has been completely forgotten, they’ll appear in the world.”
I agreed.
But why did I feel this frustration?
Had I developed special feelings for Three Months Hundred Days?
There was no way.
If I had to pick, the team most precious to me was GOTM.
We had been together through multiple rounds, and we had shared all kinds of emotions and experiences.
We sold the most albums, and had the most fans.
Even so, I abandoned GOTM in order to achieve my goal.
Three Months Hundred Days was no different.
If they weren’t useful in achieving my goal, I could abandon them.
But why did I feel this way?
At that moment, I realized the source of the emotion.
Lightness.
All this time, I had lived while carrying too many responsibilities.
Just because I regressed didn’t mean that world disappeared.
So even after I, the one who had accepted them as “my team,” vanished, everyone’s lives still continued on.
The responsibility for their lives lay with me.
The moment I brought Dave Logan, whom I met at a drug rehabilitation center in Chicago, into GOTM, I had to take responsibility for his life.
When Dave Logan got into a car accident because of a stalker, that was my responsibility too, and when he turned to drugs because of panic disorder, that was my responsibility as well.
It wasn’t only Dave.
When Andrew Gunn’s wrist ligament was completely ruined, and when Chris Edward quit music.
I couldn’t breathe under the indescribable weight of responsibility.
I wasn’t even a god, yet I feared just how many people’s lives I had been altering to suit my own tastes.
But…
Three Months Hundred Days was different.
Their choices were entirely their own responsibility.
I had neither interfered in their lives nor manipulated them.
We were merely people who happened to meet on a program called Coming Up Next.
That lightness had addicted me.
That was why I had wanted their stage to be evaluated properly.
If their efforts began to be disparaged because of my existence, then that would become my responsibility again.
“……”
At last, everything became clear.
I understood why I had hesitated, and why I had felt frustrated.
So now, I could make a decision.
“Have you decided?”
“Yes.”
“What will you do?”
For a regressor, at countless moments of choice, the standard for making a decision was simple.
The side harder to recreate was the right answer.
Entering NT as a trainee was something I could do in the next life too.
Receiving nationwide attention through Coming Up Next was something that required luck.
There was no guarantee that even if I went on Coming Up Next one more time, Eddie would react the way he had this time.
I had to ride the attention created by Coming Up Next and debut at once.
If I wasted years as a trainee with Three Months Hundred Days amid uncertainty, I would end up regressing.
So…
“I’ll debut with Take Scene.”
This was not Han Sion’s choice.
It was the choice of a regressor moving toward a nearly impossible goal.
Because to a regressor, for whom every relationship returned to zero with a single regression, emotions had no meaning.
Even if the taste in my mouth was a little bitter.
* * *
“Seokwoo.”
“Yes, sir.”
“Let’s proceed.”
“Thank you.”
“What choice do I have when the three syllables of Han Sion’s name are ringing through the broadcasting station?”
The bureau director chuckled, then spoke casually.
“But so many issues popped off at the same time that I couldn’t tell exactly what you were trying to do.”
“To be honest, I was trying to get the remake of Under the Streetlamp to No. 1 on the music charts.”
“That’s it?”
“Yes.”
“Then what were the other issues?”
“They were buildup for the song’s performance on the charts… but they didn’t end as just buildup.”
The most popular content right now was the impromptu performance Han Sion and Chris Edward had shown.
Its views had already surpassed eight million, and it looked like it would soon reach the ten-million mark.
Guseul Live had also created a big issue.
The public applauded Way From Flower’s guts in inviting Han Sion as a guest, and clips of Han Sion humming along to their hit song gained great popularity.
Thanks to that, Weppeul’s fandom seemed to have softened somewhat too.
With a giant like Chris Edward involved, it was embarrassing to keep baring their teeth.
“Right. Tomorrow’s broadcast is episode four, isn’t it? What ratings percentage are you aiming for?”
“Five percent.”
“Seriously?”
“Yes.”
“At this rate, you’ll become bureau director.”
“If that happens, you’ll have to move up to the executive suite.”
“Seokwoo, want some Korean beef?”
* * *
When episode four of Coming Up Next ended, Synth’s “I’ve Never Joked Around” and “Under the Streetlamp Remix” became hot topics.
PD Kang Seokwoo even included the impromptu jam Han Sion, Jo Gijeong, and Lee Hyeonseok had performed at LB Studio in the broadcast in full.
Even though it had already been uploaded to YouTube once.
The result was good.
When the impromptu jam clip hit No. 1 on trending, famous singers began appearing on various YouTube channels and praising Han Sion’s talent.
Most of them had been recruited through CEO Choi Daeho’s connections, but the public didn’t know that.
Even if they did, it might not have mattered.
The song itself was just that good.
Of course, that didn’t mean there were only positive reactions.
—At this point, isn’t it Coming Up Han Sion?
—No matter how well Han Sion works, this is a bit much;
—Take Scene’s fandom freaking hates Han Sion lol
—Three Months Hundred Days’ side is complicated too. He’s not a drain, but whenever he gets any screen time, he sucks it all up.
—If you’re mad, then do as well as Han Sion lol
—Fine, okay, I get pushing Han Sion in music. But why won’t they show our Ion’s face even once? Is one close-up that hard?
—♡♡Sion absolutely debut♡♡
But there was no way the production team didn’t know reactions like this could come out.
They couldn’t do anything about the responses from core fans, but the negative response from the public began to change once episode five aired.
That was because the broadcast showed Han Sion struggling hard the entire time while preparing Seoul Town Funk.
—Choi Jaeseong seriously can’t understand a word anyone says.
—He’s pointlessly bright, which makes it even more annoying.
—Why is On Saemiro so sullen? He barely listens to Han Sion’s direction.
—Doesn’t it feel like everyone’s jealous of Han Sion?
—Sion must be the most frustrated… but he never lets it show and keeps working hard. I’m proud of him.
Meanwhile.
“This mission is the final mission.”
Coming Up Next was about to face its final mission stage.