Damn Idol Episode 41
* * *
Once the stage ended, I could feel quite a few people’s emotions in real time.
The members of Sedalbaegil seemed to feel reassured, and Producer Kang Seokwoo seemed to be thinking, That’s exactly what I expected.
And for some reason, it seemed like a commotion had broken out among the broadcast writers as well.
But as expected, the ones who reacted the most were Take Scene.
I had crushed Fade with a merciless score, but I figured Take Scene themselves still wouldn’t have rated me all that highly.
That was just the kind of song With’s “At the End of Dawn” was.
Hadn’t one of the audience members written as much in their review?
Skill: He sang a kind of easy old song, so his skill didn’t really show, but it was really nice to listen to. Ah, this is hard to score. 8 to 8.5?
It seemed to have been written by the Drop Out fan I’d given an autograph to, and that was probably exactly how the average public would react.
And in terms of “listening ability,” Take Scene was also close to the average public.
Developing “listening ability” is far harder than developing “singing ability.” Some people never develop it in their entire lives.
Anyway, I digressed a little. What I wanted to say was that Take Scene had only now realized how skilled I was.
Sure enough, Fade looked rather flustered.
“Thank you.”
After me, Gu Taehwan, who was last in the order, sang, and it was quite interesting.
“You sing the opening.”
“The opening?”
“The opening has to hook people right away. With your sense of rhythm, it’ll be more than enough.”
Perhaps influenced by what I’d said, he tried to sing every part as if it were the opening.
Of course, there was no way he could pull that off right away.
Sure enough, Gu Taehwan ruined the stage from the middle onward, but I felt rather pleased.
Because Gu Taehwan’s attempt was precisely the right approach for truly making it big.
Once all of Take Scene and Sedalbaegil’s stages ended, the next mission was revealed.
A position battle, where the same positions from both teams would face off.
Main Vocal
-On Saemiro VS Juyeon
Lead Vocal
-CU VS Lee Ion
Lead Vocal
-Fade VS Gu Taehwan
Main Dancer
-Choi Jaeseong VS Eye Level
Sub Vocal
-Han Sion VS Ready
Ready is Take Scene’s main rapper, but here he’s being treated as a sub vocal?
Or is it that I sing, and Ready raps?
After listening to Blue’s explanation that followed, it was the latter.
They said we could perform whatever we wanted, regardless of genre.
Hmm. If I were Ready, I’d choose rap and meet an honorable death.
Around the time the explanation of the next mission was coming to an end, CEO Choi Daeho took the microphone.
“What I want to tell all of you is this: have the awareness that you are professionals.”
Out of nowhere?
“To be honest, every single stage just now was below expectations. Even taking into account that they were sudden, unannounced performances.”
Having created a tense atmosphere, Choi Daeho continued.
“The first broadcast is two weeks away, and starting tonight, advertisements for the program will go out. Not only on the MShow channel, but also in subways, buses, taxis, outdoor advertisements, and so on.”
“……”
“And that is not all. From now on, every stage will not be judged by us alone. We will recruit a public audience and expose you to the strict evaluation of the masses.”
Now that was good news.
I enjoy performing in front of people more than performing in front of industry insiders.
Insiders assess performances through all sorts of political standards.
But the public is honest.
And that honesty still excites me.
“I look forward to seeing your growth from here on out.”
With that, CEO Choi Daeho’s long speech came to an end, and a short break arrived.
But then On Saemiro came over and suddenly said something out of the blue.
“Is it really okay for me to be the main vocal?”
“Of course it is. You sing well.”
“Not as well as you.”
I feel like we had a similar conversation during the B Team selection.
It was probably when I declared I’d take the rap part.
Humans are complex creatures, but sometimes they’re simple animals.
If someone tries to have a similar conversation in a different situation, there’s a very high chance that it’s their true feelings.
What is On Saemiro trying to say?
Is he jealous of me?
Or is he trying to keep me in check?
Or perhaps he hates me.
These were emotions I had received to a sickening degree from “my teammates.”
No matter how kindly I treated them, those who would be jealous of me ended up being jealous in the end.
Jealousy was usually expressed as restraint, and when that failed, it spread into hatred.
Right, there’s no reason On Saemiro would be special.
Even the people I’d carefully chosen after dozens of rounds were like that, so it was laughable to expect noble ambition from a teammate I happened to meet on a broadcast program.
Fine, then. Let’s see how On Saemiro comes at me.
“What are you trying to say?”
“Exactly what I said. I’m curious why you didn’t want the main vocal position when you’re better.”
“What if I had wanted it?”
“We would have competed. The two of us.”
“How do you think it would’ve turned out?”
“I would’ve lost to you.”
“Then isn’t that a good thing? You kept the main vocal position.”
“Instead, I lost without even getting to compete.”
I was a little confused.
Did On Saemiro want to compete with me properly?
And was he disappointed that he hadn’t been able to?
For a moment, I felt anticipation.
Maybe On Saemiro possessed a high-level competitive spirit and desire to improve.
But…
There was no way.
No, at this very moment, that might be true.
Lee Ion might want to have a fair competition with me, and Gu Taehwan or Choi Jaeseong might as well.
But that was because I had never truly shown them anything.
Everything I’d shown on Coming Up Next so far had only been suitable songs sung at suitable moments.
“Beneath the Streetlamp”?
The timing had simply fit.
While thinking of a song suited to the preliminary mission’s rule of singing only the first verse, I remembered the song I’d heard in the taxi.
Flowers Bloom? Boy Scout?
Same thing.
They were merely appropriate songs that could draw attention on an idol program.
So On Saemiro doesn’t know what I’m capable of.
That’s why he’s under the illusion that I’m only exactly one step above him.
It’s not as if I’ve only seen one or two people like that.
“Hey, Sion. Haven’t we done enough? Stop pushing so hard.”
“Yeah. You know how much is sitting in our bank accounts too. Let’s take it easy.”
“Life is Fuckin’ Good.”
“Stop making it suffocating. Enjoy it a little.”
I no longer place expectations on people.
I place expectations on talent.
The bastards who, even with a hundred million dollars in their bank accounts, still can’t stand it unless they put something out into the world.
Those whose every cell is filled with talent, who cannot choose a life where they don’t show it.
Only people like that can become my teammates.
At the very least, On Saemiro is not one of them.
“……”
I forced myself to swallow the sharp words that were about to leak out.
This isn’t On Saemiro’s fault.
What would a twenty-year-old kid know?
It’s not wrong to want moderate success and moderate happiness.
What’s wrong is my shitty situation and my twisted insides.
So I ended the conversation with the nicest words I could manage.
“It’s only for three months anyway. Let’s do our best. If we do well here, we’ll each find our own place somewhere.”
“……
Yeah.”
On Saemiro, who had been staring quietly at me as if wondering something, nodded.
After On Saemiro left, I was alone, lost in thought.
Maybe I’d been a little too complacent until now.
Originally, once I went to America, I would be busy.
I’d have to prepare a demo tape, find a way to hire a star-level agent, and bring in a producer.
At the same time, I’d have to get media exposure through the right channels and start building recognition through YouTube or social media.
But in this life, while remaining in Korea and challenging this damn idol thing, I’d been too passive under the excuse that I didn’t know anything.
Especially after appearing on Coming Up Next.
Of course, I still don’t know much about the idol industry.
Depending on the situation, memories of For The Youth occasionally come back to me, but I don’t know the shortest route to the top of the industry.
Even so, if there is one thing I know with certainty…
It is that I am truly good.
The song I’ll sing for this mission has already been decided.
I’ve already finished discussing with Producer Kang Seokwoo that I’ll sing the fully arranged version of “Beneath the Streetlamp.”
So I’ll show them just how far I can go.
And I’ll overturn the board.
I’ll make Lion Entertainment and Channel MShow debut me instead of Take Scene.
Even if business logic makes that impossible, I’ll make it possible.
* * *
A week passed.
After moving into the Coming Up Next dorm, Gu Taehwan began getting close to Choi Jaeseong and talking with him about this and that.
Gu Taehwan’s strength was that he was quick-witted, and Choi Jaeseong’s strength was that he was good at reading the social atmosphere.
As a result, whenever Choi Jaeseong did something to match the mood, Gu Taehwan praised it as if he’d seen right through him.
It’s because you acted that way that everyone is able to get along like this.
That thing you did last time, you did it with this in mind, right?
Even things Choi Jaeseong had done instinctively became quite convincing once explained through Gu Taehwan’s eyes.
It wasn’t difficult for the two of them to become close.
The two topics they had been discussing most often lately were these.
First, training.
“Wow… I feel like I’m going to throw up, hyung.”
“Do all major agencies train people like this?”
“That’s probably why they’re all so good.”
After moving into Coming Up Next, endless training had been repeating.
They woke up, learned Pilates, learned individual choreography, learned singing, learned team choreography, did physical training, meditated, learned singing again…
“I’d be happy if we just didn’t have to learn foreign languages.”
They even learned foreign languages.
In truth, Sedalbaegil had no need to learn foreign languages, but Lion Entertainment was deliberately providing them with exactly the same training as Take Scene.
If they treated the two teams differently, they could be swept up in controversy that they had already decided which team would win.
On top of that, it could conveniently serve as an advertisement saying, “Our Lion Entertainment provides training this systematic and advanced.”
Perhaps because of that, CEO Choi Daeho often visited to give direction on the members’ growth.
To Gu Taehwan…
“He said I showed qualities as a lead vocal, so I should focus on expanding my range and developing various forms of expression.”
It felt somewhat different in direction from the advice he’d heard after asking Han Sion.
Han Sion had told him to work on singing comfortably and creating a narrow sense of immersion in order to maximize his sense of rhythm.
Of course, judging only by the results so far, Choi Daeho’s direction was right.
Because Gu Taehwan, who had completely ruined his “self-introduction stage,” was gradually coming back to life.
But apart from improving his skills, he had a feeling he should listen to Han Sion’s advice.
Because while his skills were clearly improving, it felt as if he was becoming a somewhat common vocalist.
Like he was shaving down his individuality to fill in his weaknesses?
He couldn’t explain it exactly.
One might think he could just ask Han Sion, then.
“Isn’t Sion hyung really scary these days?”
The second topic they discussed the most was Han Sion.