Damn Idol Episode 162
* * *
Choe Jaeseong’s departure was rescinded.
SBI, Sedalbaegil’s corporate entity, formally signed a production sponsorship contract with SBN.
“The names are similar, and somehow it feels promising.”
The producer was delighted, saying something pointless, but…
Honestly, it was only a sponsorship in name. Looking at the conditions alone, they were nothing short of gangster behavior.
Even so, there was a high chance our terms were more generous than those offered by other companies.
Because we weren’t trying to buy a contestant’s fame.
Usually, when an entertainment company shares profits with an audition program, it’s because they acknowledge that the program helped the contestant rise to stardom.
But Choe Jaeseong’s case was different.
Even without getting into all the petty details, it was absurd to claim that Sedalbaegil became famous thanks to Snumje.
If limited to Choe Jaeseong personally, there might have been some degree of influence, but in the end, Choe Jaeseong was a member of Sedalbaegil.
So the broadcasting station adjusted the terms within reasonable limits as well.
While signing the contract, we also heard something interesting: quite a few of the Top 10 contestants were interested in our company.
They said that if we signed a profit-sharing contract rather than a sponsorship contract, it would be possible to connect with the contestants.
But the idea of us, not even a year into our debut, raising other singers was absurd.
Of course, the very fact that they were making such an offer was proof that Sedalbaegil was something different, so it wasn’t something to feel bad about.
In any case, it seemed Choe Jaeseong’s Snumje situation would be wrapped up around here.
Snumje wasn’t a program with dorm life, so there was nothing more to worry about.
Now there were exactly three things we needed to focus on.
First, filming Self Made.
Second, the concert.
Third, the fan signing event.
The first and second would proceed slowly, and the third was about to begin.
* * *
Choe Sehui, who had changed her bias from Drop Out to Sedalbaegil, had been so busy with real life lately that she had no idea how time was passing.
Normally, when real life got busy, fan activities were bound to be pushed back.
Of course, that didn’t mean she had stopped being a fan altogether. She still visited the official account and official website regularly.
She had listened to the radio show Sedalbaegil appeared on two days ago, and she had kept up with various pieces of content.
But unlike other fans, she hadn’t been anxiously waiting for the fan signing event, and she had even forgotten about the survey she had participated in.
No, rather than saying she had forgotten, it seemed more accurate to say she had shoved it into a corner of her mind.
So the moment her hectic real life settled down, a question immediately came to her.
‘But when are they holding the fan signing event?’
It was at that moment.
[Would it be all right if we invited you, Choe Sehui?]
If it had been a notification from some sloppy app, she would have dismissed it as an ad one hundred percent of the time.
Or she might even have deleted the app.
But it wasn’t.
As if reflecting the fact that Sedalbaegil was sincere about their official color, if nothing else, the notification shone brilliantly in deep blue.
This was a notification from the official website app.
Choe Sehui hurriedly tapped the notification, and soon she saw three options.
They weren’t grand choices.
There were only times written down.
October 21
– Saturday, 5:00
October 22
– Sunday, 2:00
October 28
– Saturday, 4:00
The location seemed to have already been decided as a convention center somewhere in Seoul, so it wasn’t an option.
Since she lived in Seoul anyway, there was no reason to change it.
The first thought that popped into Choe Sehui’s head was purely fan-minded.
‘Can’t I go to all three?’
But it seemed that wasn’t allowed.
In the end, after checking her own schedule, Choe Sehui decided on October 21.
The 22nd was possible too, but if she had the choice, even one day earlier was better!
Besides, Saturday was more fun than Sunday.
But even while choosing the 21st, Choe Sehui never thought for a second that this would be the final confirmation.
A fan signing event wasn’t something you could attend that easily.
She would probably have to do something, verify something, or spend money.
No matter how much Sedalbaegil walked its own path in many ways, this was the foundation of the idol industry…
“Huh?”
But soon, Choe Sehui was staring at a bewildering screen.
From what to prepare, to directions, to various instructions.
Was she really confirmed to participate?
“I didn’t do anything, though?”
The exact same reaction as Choe Sehui’s began to spread in bewilderment throughout Sedalbaegil’s fandom.
Naturally, everyone exchanged information, and as they cross-checked it, a few guesses about the fan signing event emerged.
First, the most certain thing was that the first-generation fan club had priority.
It wasn’t that there were no second-generation members confirmed for the fan signing, but the dates on which notifications were sent were different.
It seemed the first generation had picked their dates first, and the second generation was placed into the remaining spots.
Another thing was that the fan signing event really seemed unrelated to album purchase quantity.
TT’s first and second generations had slightly different tendencies.
To explain in detail, the first generation was at the stage of transcendence, while the second generation was at the stage of denial.
What this meant was that the first generation had accepted that Sedalbaegil was completely different from the existing idol path.
There were many things they didn’t like.
But conversely, there were also many things they absolutely loved.
So the first generation no longer tried to change Sedalbaegil to fit their own standards. Instead, they came to look at them as they were.
And it was understandable, because the first generation had witnessed far too much ever since Coming Up Next ended.
They couldn’t appear on music shows and instead went around the indie scene, and rather than random play dance, they held random-place busking.
When fans wanted them to go on variety shows, they went on Color Show, and they split their teaser into six parts before releasing it.
Not a single thing went as expected.
However, Sedalbaegil moved forward with clear standards.
That was why they had transcended.
‘As long as our boys are happy, that’s enough.’
That was their general stance, and this time, some even began looking forward to what out-of-nowhere thing Sedalbaegil would show them next.
In contrast, the second generation still tended to view Sedalbaegil according to the standards of a “regular idol.”
Recruitment for the second generation began around the time of their first music show appearance and ended when they won first place on a music show for the first time.
So to the second generation, Sedalbaegil was closer to an idol group that made a grand show of self-producing.
Of course, they knew in their heads that Sedalbaegil’s color was completely different, but it hadn’t truly sunk in.
Under these circumstances, among TT’s second generation were people who bought dozens of albums, saying, “They say that, but in the end, they’ll choose fan signing attendees by purchase quantity.”
But among those people, some failed to make it into the fan signing.
The fact that some who bought three or four copies got in while some who bought forty or fifty copies were rejected clearly meant it had nothing to do with album purchase quantity.
Around this point, Sedalbaegil posted an announcement on their official website stating that the first generation had been selected first, and that there would be an additional schedule for the second generation.
-Doesn’t Sedalbaegil seem kind of desperate for attention?
-A little? I have no idea what they’re trying to do, haha. It looked like they were calling in almost all of the first generation.
-What can they even do with that many people?
-They’ll probably just let them take pictures and end it there.
Fans of other groups who looked down on Sedalbaegil reacted like this, but deep down, they knew too.
When Sedalbaegil did something, they weren’t a team that did it with sloppy planning.
And so time quickly passed, and October 21 arrived.
While even people who weren’t part of Sedalbaegil’s fandom loitered around social media, curious about what on earth they were doing at the fan signing event…
Choe Sehui, who had arrived at the fan signing venue, was bewildered.
The building, which looked several times larger than an ordinary convention center, was imposing.
At the entrance, it said MICE Center, and though she didn’t know what it meant, it seemed like a building one tier above a convention center.
But what truly bewildered her was that Sedalbaegil seemed to have rented out the entire enormous building.
Because…
“Choe Sehui, please go to CASE Hall at the far left on the second floor.”
The fan managers, after checking fan club ID cards, had begun dividing people up.
* * *
The feelings I had toward fans were definitely different from those of ordinary singers.
To be honest, in the early days after my regression, I had been angry at the fans.
I was putting out music that was as good as ever, so why on earth were my sales dropping?
The people who had screamed as if they would love me forever—why did they leave me after five years, after ten?
You were the only ones who could save me, and that was why I wanted you so desperately.
So why wouldn’t you answer my desperation?
In a way, rather than being angry, I was hurt.
So there were times when I acted petulantly toward the fans.
Because it made me sad that they shouted about forever when they would leave someday anyway.
Thinking about it now, it was truly embarrassing, but I had simply been sulking.
Well, that was in the early days after my regression.
It was before I had matured mentally.
But after spending countless stretches of time since then, I realized something.
The demon was right.
To support someone with all your fervor and devotion was, in itself, worship and offering.
Fans burned through their own lives to worship me.
Getting angry because that worship wasn’t eternal was the same selfishness as feeling hurt because they wouldn’t sacrifice themselves for me forever.
Besides…
I would disappear someday.
What would the fans be like in a world where I had vanished?
Would they grieve over my death?
Or would they treat my disappearance like an interesting mystery?
I didn’t know.
There wasn’t much one could know about a situation one hadn’t experienced.
There were two things I knew for certain.
As long as I existed, I had to become a being that could be worshipped forever.
I must not show weakness, and I must not stumble musically.
I didn’t mean I would live under a mysterious concept.
Even if I revealed as much of my private life as I wanted, if my music was worthy of worship, the fans would worship it.
I had learned that.
No matter how enormous the issue with my parents became, in the end, if the music was good, the fans talked about the music.
The other thing was that I had to acknowledge that my feelings were unrequited love.
Fans could abandon me and turn away from me.
They could like me, then leave me to like another singer.
Or they could spit on me before leaving.
But I couldn’t do that.
Because the only ones who could save me were the fans who worshipped my music and bought my albums.
I had no choice but to convey my feelings forever.
That was why today’s event had been prepared.
I didn’t know how the members felt about agreeing to a fan signing event plan that wouldn’t earn us a single penny.
Perhaps when we released our second album, they might say they would prefer a more efficient method.
But at least not today.
As I was thinking that, a staff member gave me the signal.
The intro began flowing through my in-ear.
There had been no need to agonize over what to sing as the first song.
Because through the survey, we had already seen which fans wanted to meet whom, and what songs they wanted to hear.
Yes, we would meet our own fans in our own halls.
And then we would all gather together.
I couldn’t deny that I had the most fans, so the largest hall, which could admit 350 people, was assigned to me.
The song they most wanted to hear from me was “Summer Cream,” and the second was “Résumé.”
But the third was a little interesting.
SINCE’s “I Was Never Joking.”
Had I sung it when positions were being decided on Coming Up Next?
Maybe because I had never sung such a playful song before, it had taken third place.
Even surpassing solo songs like “Under the Streetlight” and “Falling Blossoms.”
It wasn’t my song, and it wasn’t Sedalbaegil’s song either, but it didn’t matter.
When I suddenly appeared onstage, the 350 people screamed as if they were 3,500.
And so the fan signing event, closer to a fan meeting, began.