My life was like a long, endless cave.
No light ever reached it, so I could not see even an inch ahead.
I had come too far to turn back, so I could not even consider doing so.
And yet, there was not even the hope that an end awaited me if I continued forward.
I walked endlessly, then walked some more.
When my foot caught on something and I fell, I rose and walked again.
When fear of the darkness made me tremble, I endured it and walked again.
That was how I lived.
No—was it right to say that I had lived?
I asked myself, and answered myself as well.
When I posed a question, I answered.
It was something someone had to do, and I had merely been the one to do it.
Then I asked myself again in response to that answer.
Could I truly call it an excuse—that it was something I had dared to do because it had to be done?
Was there any greater cause or conviction within that act?
‘...’
I did not answer.
The truth was that I could not.
I knew it.
I knew that nothing of the sort existed within me.
Since when had I dreamed of a greater cause?
I never had.
I had never possessed one to begin with, nor had I ever desired one.
Then what was my greater cause?
For what sake had I lived that life?
I had been swept away by the surging current and could not endure it.
First, I tried making that excuse.
There was nothing I could do.
It was the best I could manage.
Otherwise, I would die.
That was why I had no choice but to do it.
I had lived while thinking that way, but.
‘Really?’
If I asked myself again, the answer was already decided.
‘No.’
It was all self-justification.
I simply should not have entered the cave in the first place.
I had known that, yet I had walked in of my own accord.
Why? Because it was the only place left to run.
After entering that way, I searched endlessly.
For the one who had pushed me from behind.
Someone had pushed me into the cave, and since I was living like this, there had to be someone to blame.
Even when I trembled in the darkness.
Even when I walked endlessly, unable to find hope.
Even when I eventually collapsed from exhaustion and cried out.
I searched for someone to blame.
I knew.
I already knew that no one could be blamed.
It was simply that.
Unable to accept it, I needed someone to blame.
That was the kind of life it had been.
A life that had entered the cave as though fleeing, only to wither away in the darkness without ever reaching its end.
A verminous life that died while running away without seeing a single ray of light.
I lived that way, died, and regressed.
I never once thought of it as a miracle.
It was something I had never wished for, so I was afraid even to call it welcome.
I had obtained this life, so I would live it. This time, I would live a slightly different life.
I would hide away in some remote mountain village, living so quietly that no one would ever know I was there.
That was what I thought as I lived.
‘It didn’t go as planned, did it?’
Things really never went the way I wanted.
The gale I had failed to stop swept me away once more.
When I opened my eyes, I had somehow become the eye of the typhoon.
‘Was it something I could never avoid?’
Was fate something no mere human could stop?
Was I destined to be swept up in the turmoil in the end?
Then what was I supposed to do?
I—
What should I do?
‘What are you worrying about?’
‘ I’ said.
‘Just make sure it doesn’t happen.’
If I had no choice but to be swept away.
Then I would make the wind that was about to rage a little weaker.
Or make sure the wind never blew at all.
Wouldn’t that be enough?
Sssssss—!
Heat rose.
The emotions that had been boiling over affected my eyes.
Energy seeped into my body.
There was an omen ahead.
An omen that, if left as it was, would become a wind and sweep me away.
It would become a typhoon that shook not only me, but the entire world.
Therefore, I had to bite it apart and swallow it before it could blow.
I had to deal with it now, before it became an even greater calamity.
For what sake?
To take the place of the Divine Sword.
‘To save the world in the end….’
...
...
Save the world?
‘Me?’
Krrrrr—!!
Boom—!
The Greed flying toward the Heavenly Demon changed course and slammed into a nearby tree.
Saaaa….
Since the Greed that struck the tree could inflict no direct damage aside from its authority, it dispersed into mist.
I had changed the Greed’s trajectory, and now I had to stare at the Heavenly Demon with my body stiffened.
“Whoo… huff… whoo.”
My breath, imbued with heat, came out harshly.
My body was burning from the emotions that had filled even my head.
“Haa… huff….”
I repeatedly exhaled deep breaths and covered my forehead with my palm.
Something was wrong.
I had stiffened at the thought that came to me.
“Whoof… whoo…!”
Beyond my ragged breaths, I cooled my hardened head.
‘Am I going to save the world?’
As a reason for what I had set out to do, it was far too narrow-minded.
‘Who the hell am I saving, and what am I saving?’
I was killing the Heavenly Demon to save the world.
I was taking the place of the Divine Sword to save the world.
That was the justification behind my actions.
And yet.
‘Do I even have the right to do that?’
Slip.
As the thought occurred to me, the strength left my hand.
“…Haa…. Ha….”
I had forgotten what my first objective after regressing had been.
‘Run away and live a suitable life.’
That had been my goal.
I would flee from what I had done, escape what was to come, and live quietly with my head down.
That had definitely been my goal.
But as things became tangled and more matters became intertwined, had I not changed my mind?
I had acquired things I needed to protect, so I would try to prevent the Blood Calamity.
That was why I had begun this.
I had to act for the sake of the things I needed to protect, without regard for means or methods.
That was how I had rationalized it.
I did not hesitate to kill someone.
In this life, I seized those who deserved to die in my previous life and turned them into Demonic Humans.
Most of them were people I would eventually use and then kill.
There were those I would use and discard, and those I would use as shields.
I had chosen them because they deserved to die, but I had known from the beginning that it was not the right thing to do.
But I did not care.
I had no regrets, and I had thrown my guilt into the dirt long ago.
This was what I was preparing.
But was this truly something I was doing to save the world?
‘Perhaps it is.’
The goal I was heading toward could be called that.
But.
‘Do you really think you’re doing this for that sake?’
An act performed to save the world.
Had I truly thought of it that way?
A chill ran through me.
‘Where did it begin to go wrong?’
The thought I had formed myself left me almost unable to breathe.
I already knew, didn’t I?
I had no interest whatsoever in saving the world.
That was merely an extra benefit.
‘It doesn’t matter to me whether this wretched world collapses or not.’
Since when had I begun thinking as though I were some kind of hero?
Something about this feeling was wrong.
The head that had been burning with heat slowly began to cool.
My pupils started to return to normal.
Only then did I see it.
Drip—.
The Heavenly Demon, bleeding as she looked toward me.
Blood flowed from the corner of her mouth, and there was something sorrowful in her gaze.
Those eyes irritated me.
Perhaps because that gaze was so damn similar to mine? It irritated me all the more.
And yet, something within me asked.
‘That woman shedding blood—’
Was she truly the calamity I believed her to be?
‘If she isn’t a calamity, then what is she?’
I held firmly to my thoughts.
I was merely hesitating because she looked exactly like Wi Seol-ah.
That was surely all it was.
I had gained a way to kill the Heavenly Demon.
No—I had gained hope that it might be possible to kill her.
My Greed could even gnaw away at the Heavenly Demon’s power. I was certain of it.
Then I only had to rush forward and bite her apart right now.
“Why didn’t you dodge?”
My mouth was asking the Heavenly Demon a question.
“...”
“You could have dodged that easily. Why didn’t you?”
The barrier had shattered.
As a result, the Heavenly Demon had been struck by the Flame Prison, but in truth, it was an attack she could have avoided.
Yet the Heavenly Demon had not dodged.
It had been the same earlier. She had been dragged along despite having no need to be, and she had taken all my attacks without counterattacking.
“You did the same thing just now. You intended to take this one too, didn’t you?”
The Greed charged toward the Heavenly Demon’s barrier.
If she had eyes, she would know.
She would know that the Greed could bite through and swallow the barrier.
Swoosh.
I watched as the Heavenly Demon’s shattered barrier regenerated.
It seemed that I could break it, but completely destroying it was impossible.
Even so, that did not change the fact that I could create an opening.
Then, when she should have been doing everything she could to avoid the Greed, she simply watched it charge at her.
“Why didn’t you dodge? Did you think you could win even without it?”
“...”
“Answer me. What the hell were you thinking—”
“You looked like you wanted to do it.”
“What?”
The Heavenly Demon answered my harsh question calmly.
“You looked uncomfortable. You looked like you wanted to do it. So I stayed still.”
“What are you talking about? Answer me properly….”
“No?”
At her words, accompanied by a slight tilt of her head, the words I was about to spit out caught in my throat for a moment.
But it lasted only an instant.
“So what? Were you planning to let me kill you?”
If she had taken my blows because I wanted to beat her.
If she had let herself be dragged along because I wanted to drag her here.
Then did she mean to let herself die in the end because I was now trying to kill her?
The Heavenly Demon answered immediately.
“You wouldn’t have killed me.”
I ground my teeth at her vague certainty.
“What the fuck are you talking about? Then what did I just do—some kind of children’s game?”
Hadn’t I looked as though I was struggling desperately to kill her?
How could she have such a fucked-up certainty?
“You wouldn’t have done it.”
“That’s what I’m asking. Why are you so certain?”
“I don’t know. But it feels like you wouldn’t. Besides.”
The Heavenly Demon wiped away the last traces of blood with her sleeve.
“Big Sister told me not to fight recklessly.”
“…Hah.”
Whoosh—!
Flames gathered at my fingertips.
Repeating compression and rotation, I cast the Seonchang.
Far more energy seeped into it than when I had first used it.
It was the limit of what I could contain and control.
Thirty percent of the internal energy I possessed.
If the Sacred Spear I had used earlier contained ten percent, this held three times as much.
“You think I can’t kill you?”
What a laughable thing to say. It was the Heavenly Demon standing before me, of all people.
No matter how different her appearance and presence were from my memories.
She was still the one who had caused the Blood Calamity in my previous life.
And yet, standing before someone like that, I was supposed to think I could not kill her?
“Cut the bullshit.”
I aimed the completed Sacred Spear at the Heavenly Demon.
“If you’re not going to resist, then just stay where you are. It’ll be easier that way.”
Do not be deceived by that appearance.
“I’ll kill you here.”
“...”
The Heavenly Demon showed no reaction to my warning.
She merely looked at me with her purple eyes.
So she was going to keep responding that way, was she?
“Fine. Let’s see if you’ll keep refusing to dodge until the end….”
“No.”
I froze for a moment at the words the Heavenly Demon spoke just as I was about to change my stance.
No?
“What are you suddenly saying no to?”
“I am not ‘you.’”
What the hell was that supposed to mean?
I deeply furrowed my brow and frowned.
“My name is…. It isn’t something like ‘you’….”
The Heavenly Demon was about to continue, but suddenly closed her mouth.
Frustration spread across her expressionless face.
‘Her name?’
The Heavenly Demon’s name.
Earlier, Gu Hee-bi had called her something like Yeon… or whatever. Was that what she meant?
No, to begin with, had she ever had a name?
She called herself the Heavenly Demon. She had never said anything else.
“What’s your name?”
“...”
I asked her, but the Heavenly Demon remained silent.
If she had said it wasn’t “you,” then surely there had to be a name she could speak.
Then.
“I don’t know. I can’t remember.”
The Heavenly Demon bit her lip in apparent frustration and said.
“…What was my name?”