〈 Episode 616 〉 Dragon (龍).
[The youngest of the Blue Clan was cursed.]
It was a rumor that spread throughout the North Sea.
A cursed child.
Those who had seen the child, who had just turned ten, all spat out such words.
—The way he stares as if he knows everything gives me chills.
—I couldn't tell what he was thinking at all.
—There must be a reason why even the Blue Wolf treats his own bloodline with such fear.
—Indeed….
A child who had fallen from his father's grace.
The youngest there was in such a position.
Where had it all gone wrong?
The boy sometimes thought about it.
If something had gone wrong, just when had that moment been?
Was it around the time he heard of his mother's infidelity?
Or was it when he realized his older brother's secret?
If not that.
Was it when he discovered his father's ambition?
It didn't matter.
To the boy, such things were no longer important.
"..."
He stared at the sky with hollow eyes.
Snow was falling.
The boy's cheeks, watching the snow, were stained red.
Because he had been slapped by his father just moments before.
[Don't look at me with those disgusting eyes!]
It was simply for having looked.
Swoosh.
The boy touched his own cheek.
Unlike the cold weather, his cheek was still hot.
Yet unlike the heat in his cheek, the boy's eyes gradually grew cold.
He heard things others couldn't.
Just that alone twisted the boy's life.
When he spoke of his mother's infidelity, things erupted because of his enraged father.
When he realized the eldest brother's secret.
His brother had to leave as if abandoned to a remote area.
Because of these two incidents, the boy ultimately kept his mouth shut about the things he heard.
But his father must have thought, upon seeing such a boy:
Perhaps.
Perhaps he might discover his secret too.
Was that what he feared?
The boy became an unpleasant existence to his father.
And that became an awl, turning the boy's life into a mess.
Cursed child.
The boy did not deny the words that reached his ears.
How could he deny it?
[Th...at...yes...th...at...]
[S...secret...]
[Grrrr...rrrlllll...]
Because even to himself, it seemed a curse.
The boy covered his ears.
He tried desperately to block it, but still, noise rang loudly in his ears.
Sounds of weeping.
Sounds of anger.
Sounds of screaming.
A storm of violent, tearing emotions.
Even closing his eyes and covering his ears, he couldn't block the sounds.
Emotions made sound.
Noisily accumulating, the piled sounds became noise.
And to the boy, life became hell.
Being able to perceive the emotions others wanted to hide, his relationship with his family crumbled.
His mother resented him.
His brothers feared him.
His father scorned him.
There was no one to comfort the boy even if he cried; no shade to shield the falling snow from him.
The boy who heard the emotions of all things was growing cold toward his own emotions.
Such was his life.
And such was the life he would have to live going forward.
If this wasn't hell, what was?
The boy thought so, watching the falling snow.
They say there are four seasons in the world.
Among them, spring.
The season when snow all melts and flowers bloom magnificently.
He had heard that such a thing certainly existed in the Central Plains.
But here, snow fell endlessly, so spring did not come to the North Sea.
It was much like his own life.
A life buried in snow, slowly dying.
The North Sea and his life were no different.
Which meant:
'If I die... could I find peace?'
Rather than waiting for the spring of life.
If it ended before winter grew colder.
Might that not be a slightly better way?
With that sudden thought, the boy looked ahead.
There was a half-frozen lake.
What had he thought when he saw it?
It was a hazy memory now.
If he barely recalled.
It was merely that the young boy was exhaustedly tired.
And because of such exhaustion, along with the unusually loud noise, he couldn't distinguish right from wrong.
So.
There was no hesitation in his steps.
It was an age where it was fine to be immature, so he was bewitched by his own choice.
Surely, that was why he did it.
Splash—!
With the sound of falling in, his breathing stopped.
Cold water enough to hurt wrapped around his whole body.
He opened his eyes but could see nothing.
So he closed them.
Do you know what was funny in the midst of that?
Between the suffocating pressure of rising breath.
What came to mind first was not pain or fear, but comfort.
'...It's quiet.'
The sounds that had driven him mad until just now disappeared in an instant.
How long had it been since such silence?
The boy felt a sense of liberation in that moment.
But.
That liberation did not last long.
"Krrrk...!"
His breath was cut off.
At the point when all breath escaped and only pain remained.
In the cold water, his whole body began to gradually freeze.
He moved his body as if floundering.
Though it was something he had chosen himself.
The boy had to show an unsightly act at the end.
Had he yearned for life? That probably wasn't it.
He didn't know.
He couldn't remember that far.
What he could remember was:
"Krrrrrk...nngh...."
At the point when, after floundering for a while, he was gradually losing consciousness.
Splash—!
At the same time as the sound heard from afar.
Swish—!
Something had grabbed and pulled him.
Thin, slender arms wrapped around his body and moved.
After a short while.
"Puhah!"
The boy was able to get out of the water.
"Kulk...keoheok...."
Shivering, he fell to the ground and vomited water.
As he had been vomiting like that for a while.
Something wrapped around his body trembling from the cold.
It was a dry fur coat.
Wondering who it was, he looked at the one who had covered him with the clothes.
"Hooah! It's cold...!"
What he saw first was snow-white hair resembling snow itself.
Like him, it was soaking wet from the water.
Their ages didn't seem very different either.
She was a girl exactly his age.
As the boy looked at the girl with a bewildered expression.
The girl spoke to him, holding back a smile.
"It seems the weather has gotten much colder lately, hasn't it?"
"..."
"The water is too cold. It feels much too early to go swimming."
A truly bright smile.
Between the falling snow, the boy looked at the clothes wrapped around him.
"So. If you're going to swim, let's do it together next time when it's less cold."
"I was...."
"It's too cold right now!"
Though the boy tried to say something.
The girl cut him off.
He would learn later.
The girl had said she already knew full well what the boy had been trying to do.
With her small head at the time, she couldn't think of words to change the boy's mind.
Or so she had said.
What should he say?
It was a story that only drew a hollow laugh.
Unable to understand the situation, the boy couldn't open his mouth.
This was a space no one could enter freely.
It was a place the boy's father had blocked so no one could enter.
How on earth had this girl gotten in?
When such questions swirled in his head.
"Nice to meet you."
The girl extended her hand to the boy.
"You're the youngest son of the Blue Wolf?"
"..."
How many in the North Sea could address his father in that manner?
Though young, the boy was sharp, so he knew the number was absolutely not large.
At most, countable on two hands.
And if among them there was a young girl like her, the answer was obvious even without looking.
Even knowing that, the boy didn't react.
He merely stared at the girl.
Then.
Swoosh.
The girl extended her hand to the boy.
"I'm called Yuri."
Looking at her blue eyes, he thought:
Truly bright and beautiful.
"What's your name?"
Surely, the boy at that time did not know.
That this girl.
Would become his faith and his spring.
******************
Drip.
Drip.
Blood flowed down the sword.
The blood that flowed thus pattered onto the ground, staining the snow red.
How deep had the tip of the sword penetrated?
Pain welled up.
He had controlled it to some extent, but it seemed he had made a slight mistake.
"Yikes... hurts like hell."
He had aimed to avoid the vitals, but it still hurt.
'How long has it been?'
How long since he'd been stabbed?
He had been cut quite a few times, but it had been a long time since he'd taken one directly like this.
Probably the first time since my regression.
Trickle.
Blood flowed from the corner of my mouth.
I didn't bother wiping it.
Clack.
I felt sensation from the sword lodged in my stomach.
The moment I felt it, I gripped the blade tightly.
"Don't move. If you jerk around, my hand will get hurt."
"...You...!"
Having spat out the warning, the owner of the sword.
Uhyeok widened his eyes and spoke.
"Just what are you doing right now...!"
"Can't you tell by looking?"
Every time I opened my mouth to speak, blood bubbled in it.
It really tasted disgusting and foul.
Ignoring it with effort, I spoke.
"I'm trying to snap you back to your senses."
"Earlier you said you wouldn't let me pass unless I killed you. What's the rush now?"
"...!"
Upon hearing the conversation from just before, Uhyeok furrowed his brow.
And I could see him biting his lips tightly.
That sight was unusually amusing.
The bastard, acting all indifferent. His ruined expression looked delightful.
It was worth getting stabbed to see that much.
Holding the blood in my mouth, I spoke toward Uhyeok.
"I thought about it a bit."
I tried to speak, but Uhyeok was still only staring at his own sword lodged in my stomach.
"You were trying to die just now, weren't you?"
"...!"
Upon hearing the words, Uhyeok flinched.
"You were trying to die by my hand."
No answer came.
But I already knew the answer.
Uhyeok had been trying to die just now.
He had been trying to die by my hand.
That's why he must have let up on the sword's power at the end.
"What are you talking about."
Uhyeok seemed to be playing dumb.
"You understood everything and now you're pretending not to know. You're smart."
That wouldn't work on me.
"Since when. Since when were you planning to do this?"
"..."
"Speak up, damn it."
Cursing, I put strength into the blade I was holding.
To push it in deeper.
"Crazy...!"
Realizing that, Uhyeok put strength into the hilt.
A bizarre situation where the one who stabbed tried to pull out, and the one stabbed tried to push it in further.
"Are you really trying to die!? Are you crazy?"
"Of course I'm crazy, what do you think? Why, you can do it but I can't?"
As Uhyeok shouted, I furrowed my brow and spoke.
"Do you know how fucked-up an act that is?"
You probably don't know.
Just how massive a curse the choice you were trying to make now would be on the other person.
Unlike that, I knew all too clearly.
In such a situation.
"You bastard. You were going to do that to me?"
You were going to make me go through that again.
I grabbed Uhyeok's collar with my empty hand.
"If we met after so long, you should say you missed me or at least greet me. Why create this shitty situation!"
In the midst of it, I could feel Uhyeok putting strength into it, perhaps fearing the sword would rattle.
I kept thinking.
What intention did Uhyeok have, doing this to me?
Knowing he couldn't win, how could he act so irrationally?
Moreover, why, when he saw me, did he have eyes that said 'thank god.'
Rather saying it's a good thing.
Saying it's fortunate it turned out like this.
Smiling bitterly in relief.
Why had he done so?
Why did he have to do so?
To that question, I could find the answer by looking into Uhyeok's eyes just now.
The fact that he acted that way with eyes the same as mine.
The meaning contained at the end of that was a reason I knew all too well.
Only:
'The fact that you tried to make me do that to you makes me somewhat resent you.'
I resented Uhyeok.
It was probably the first time I felt such an emotion.
That's how I knew.
Looking at Uhyeok, who had begun to tremble, I spoke.
"Idiot. That's really cowardly, you know? It's just running away."
Only now could I belatedly realize why my father had done that to me back then.
But by now, it was far too late a realization.
To the words spat out with such feeling.
"What do you know...!!"
The sword lodged in my stomach was pulled out and fell to the ground.
Trickle.
I could feel blood flowing from my stomach.
Ah, fuck... it was pulled out too suddenly.
Ignoring the pain with effort, I approached Uhyeok.
"Krr...."
"You don't know, you bastard. How would I know when you never told me."
I don't know anything.
About Uhyeok, including both my past life and this one, I didn't know all that much.
Part of it was because I hadn't been particularly curious.
Part of it was because Uhyeok hadn't told me.
But that didn't mean he could act like this.
"Then you should have said something."
Approaching again, I grabbed Uhyeok's collar as he had fallen.
"Instead of acting like this, you should have asked for help."
"..."
"Why are you acting crazy without saying a word?"
It was Uhyeok who had rushed at me demanding a fight the moment he saw me.
"What is it. Just why are you doing this?"
"..."
"Speak up. So I can either help you or beat you until you come to your senses."
To the words mixed with irritation, a question arose in Uhyeok's pupils.
"...Why...?"
"What."
"Just what reason do you have to go this far for me...?"
Not just his gaze, but his words were also full of questions.
Why was I doing this?
"...It's only been a few years at most. You don't have a reason to do this for me."
At most four years since we met.
I called Uhyeok a close friend. But that was because I had memories of my past life.
Because he had died for me.
Because I had memories of him supporting me by my side when I was crumbling, I remembered that and called Uhyeok a close friend.
But.
"Why are you going this far for me?"
The present Uhyeok wouldn't know that.
And this was:
"Damned if I know, you bastard—ask yourself, because I don't really know either."
It was the same as what Uhyeok in my past life had done to me.
"What...?"
"We weren't close and there was nothing suggesting we would be. Yet you were the one who approached me first."
The generation of falling stars.
The one at its center extended his hand to me, who was full of nothing but discontent with the world.
Even when I poured out all sorts of curses saying I hated it, he didn't leave my side.
Why had he done so?
When I asked why the hell he did so.
What had Uhyeok said to me.
"Because we're similar? I think that was probably the reason."
Because we're similar.
Because it was comfortable.
Uhyeok had certainly said that to me.
"You know that? Back then, hearing that really pissed me off."
A genius among geniuses.
A guy who was sure to become the representative martial artist of the next generation of the Martial Alliance.
Such a guy approached me, a disgrace to my clan, saying he was similar to me.
Was he mocking me?
At first I thought so and hated his guts, but:
"Looking back now, I kind of understand."
Now I felt like I knew.
That Uhyeok's words had been the truth.
You and I were similar.
That's why you approached me.
I somewhat understood the sleeping dragon who had spoken to me back then.
We both lacked attachments to life.
We wanted to gain something, but knowing we couldn't, we were hollow.
That was what we were.
"You told me to live."
Live.
Life is precious, so you must live.
It was a habit for Uhyeok to spit out those words when looking at me.
"But was that really something you were saying to me? No."
This too was a late realization.
"You were saying it to yourself, weren't you?"
It was a question to which I would never hear the answer again.
It meant there was no point asking the present Uhyeok.
"Surely it was so. You saw yourself in me."
"...What are you talking about now?"
"Shut up and listen. It's my turn now."
Supporting me as I crumbled.
Had been to keep himself from crumbling.
Trying to fix the broken me.
Had probably been because he himself was broken too.
Was that a sense of kinship, or was it sympathy?
Now, that too was meaningless.
What I had to think about now wasn't such a thing.
What I had to spit out wasn't such a thing.
"Live. Just fucking live, you bastard."
I had to say to the present Uhyeok what Uhyeok had said to me in my past life.
Though the words came out somewhat differently.
"If you have problems, I'll help you out moderately and all that. Just try living a little. Stop this crazy shit... ah, my stomach hurts, dammit."
I had to grab my stomach mid-sentence due to the tearing pain.
I had managed to stop the bleeding somewhat, but the condition really wasn't good.
My regenerative ability was monstrous, so my stomach would probably heal within three days or so.
"...Ha...."
Watching me doing so, Uhyeok suddenly let out a hollow breath.
"This is absurd...."
"That's my line. We met after so long and you stab me in the stomach out of nowhere—you think I'm happy?"
"That's because you...!"
"Forget it, now speak. Why you're doing this."
I had put a hole in my stomach just to hear that one thing.
Now it seemed he could finally tell me.
No, now he truly had to.
"If you don't talk, I'll poke another hole?"
I said this while grabbing Uhyeok's sword that had fallen to the ground.
If he didn't speak, I'd put another hole in my stomach.
It was that kind of threat.
The problem was:
"...What kind of threat is that, using your own body? Do you think that'll work?"
"It won't? Try me? I'll do it? I'm doing it right now. Watch closely."
I tried to raise the sword and stab it into my stomach.
"Stop...! Stop, I said!"
Uhyeok raised his hand to stop my action.
Despite saying it wouldn't work, the threat was working well.
"You crazy bastard...! You're really insane."
"I hear that often."
Hearing it from the guy I said it to second-most made me feel quite strange.
I set the sword down obediently and looked at Uhyeok.
Even crossing my arms as if telling him to speak quickly.
Then.
"Haha...."
Uhyeok let out a low laugh.
"...How did I end up becoming friends with a guy like this."
He seemed slightly regretful.
But it was already too late.
'Blame the Uhyeok from your past life for that.'
No matter what I said to Uhyeok back then, nothing would change.
"Alright, first, let's stop the bleeding...."
"Speak first. I'll take care of that myself."
For my part, energy was already moving quickly inside my body.
It was a method to raise regenerative power along with stopping the bleeding.
Actually, the blood had already stopped.
Though I had spilled quite a bit of blood, so dizziness remained....
Uhyeok raised his upper body unsteadily at my words.
The hostility from earlier seemed to have subsided somewhat.
Watching that, I asked.
"You want me to talk?"
"Don't rush me...."
"If you won't, I'll—"
"I will, I'll do it! I will, but... you need to take care of other things first."
At Uhyeok's words, I turned my head.
He was right.
The situation had gotten twisted, but Uhyeok wasn't the reason I had come here.
Recalling that, I approached Uhyeok and extended my hand.
It meant to grab it and get up first.
"If you don't do it later, you're really dead."
"...Me? Or you?"
"That depends on the situation."
For this part, I would check what was convenient at the time and choose.
"Hahaha...."
Hearing this, Uhyeok put on the same hollow smile as before.
And as he reached out his hand to grab mine.
At that moment.
"Is it over?"
An unfamiliar voice rang out.
"Then that's no fun."
And from right beside us, no less.