Chapter 524 - Let Me Hold It Just Once.
[What are you?]
At the moment when Gwiseon and Baekryeongeom, who had been in the quarters, as well as Namgung Bia, went outside.
It was what Shin Noya asked while looking at Noea.
Half out of my mind at the words that Namgung Bia was going to the North Sea, I had asked Namgung Myeong, but.
He gave no answer.
As the silence continued, I was gradually growing angry.
By then I was already half out of my senses.
Should I say boiling blood and heat had risen to the top of my head?
It was a state where uncontrollable anger was surging.
Thinking back now, it is nothing but strange. Even though it was an unexpected situation, it was not something to get so angry about.
Emotions that I struggle to control are always bound to get in the way.
The problem is that even knowing that, I cannot control them.
'What?'
Before I could shout in a voice burning with heat, Shin Noya cut in, allowing me to cool down a little.
What are you.
I recall the words Shin Noya spoke to Namgung Myeong.
Was it the day before or the day before that? Noya had said this to Namgung Myeong as well.
-You are not Myeong-i.
Shin Noya, who had been quietly watching Namgung Myeong raise his voice at him, drew his conclusion in a resolute voice at the end.
That he was not Namgung Myeong.
'Then just who is he?'
If that is not the lingering spirit of Namgung Myeong, then what on earth is it?
[...Tsk tsk....]
After Shin Noya's question, a faint laugh was heard from Noea.
[...What am I, Shin Cheol? How absurd of you to jest.]
[Does it look like a jest?]
*Uung.*
Heat could be felt in my heart. It was not mine.
The faint scent of plum blossoms began flowing along the blood points.
Light, yet deep. Deep, yet somehow transparent qi.
This was undoubtedly Shin Noya's energy.
[You are not Myeong-i. Is that not so?]
[...Ha....]
At the resolute words, Namgung Myeong laughed.
[Then who am I supposed to be? I am Namgung Myeong.]
Namgung Myeong spoke coldly, as if telling him not to speak such nonsense, but Shin Noya's reaction was the same.
[Your descendant may have deceived us, but do you think it makes sense to try to deceive us?]
[Shin Cheol...!]
[You are not Myeong-i.]
*Wooooong—!*
At Shin Noya's words, Noea in his hand began to tremble violently.
[Stop your nonsense. I am Namgung Myeong. If I am not Namgung Myeong, then who am I?]
*Vrrrt—!* A vibration strong enough to make one's hand tremble.
*Fzzt!* Sparks flew in the air. It was due to the faint thunder energy spreading from Noea.
[After such a long time you appear, and now you seek to humiliate me? You?]
[Yes, it must have been a very long time.]
Noya's memory is empty.
For some reason it was full of a sense of disconnect. The memories gaping emptily through the cracks were said to be split as if shattered.
What did he say again?
Did he say he woke up sealed inside a spectral object?
It was a story somewhat different from history.
In the recorded history of Hwasan, the Hwasan Sword Immortal was said to have passed away immediately after fulfilling all his duties as the sect leader.
Yet, in the actual conversation with the lingering spirit he had met.
He could tell that history was somehow wrong.
It had been twisted from some point.
Whether those related to Yeonilcheon in the past had done something, or whether the Blood Demon side had done something, he did not know.
There was definitely a problem.
Perhaps Noya was the one most concerned about that.
[Yes. It was exceedingly long. And you, who have not gone through such a long time. What do you know to speak so?]
Namgung Myeong's voice was full of anger.
It was the same last time.
Namgung Myeong had been angry at Shin Noya like this for not having gone through the same years.
[You still know nothing.]
The anger was justified.
Even I, if I had remained as a lingering spirit for that long, waiting for someone who knows when they would come, might have gone half mad.
However.
[You are right. I do not know.]
Shin Noya seemed to think differently.
[However, I do know at least that you are not Myeong-i.]
[This fellow truly...!]
[It must have been a very long time. Enough for Mount Tai to crumble. Enough for nameless streets and countless people to arise upon it.]
Shaolin's Hwang A-bulyeong was barely holding onto his mind in a state so exhausted by the weight of the years that it was pitiful.
Dang Jemun had endured his entire life with the single-minded resolve of acting only for Noya, but.
The Tang Sect he had wanted to protect had rotted away.
It was too long a time.
To endure that time, it was a change mixed with degeneration and corruption.
In the eyes of those who had harbored the will to save the world, was this world truly right?
It would be impressive enough simply that they hadn't gone mad long ago.
Yet.
'There is no way Noya wouldn't know that.'
Why did Noya insist that he was not Namgung Myeong?
I still could not know.
Then, Noya began to continue speaking.
[That is the very nature of time, so even if you have lost your original form, it cannot be helped.]
[Is the one who knows that now insulting me?]
[Since even that stubborn Cheolyeong has lost hope, it cannot be helped.]
[Then at least....]
[But.]
What.
'...This.'
The two were conversing. Somehow, cold sweat seemed to trickle down my back.
The air is heavy. It is not Namgung Myeong's doing. This is.
'Shin Noya's senses?'
The atmosphere was changing according to Noya's emotions.
'Huh.'
Realizing that, I felt anew how amazing this old man was.
For a gentleman who remains as only a lingering spirit without a physical body to exert such presence merely by controlling his emotions.
He was like a foul-tempered old man, yet at times like this he showed a different side.
In the heavily pressing air, Shin Noya spoke to Namgung Myeong.
[At least that fellow did not lose his faith.]
[...!]
[Such faith cannot be felt from you. And yet you say you are truly Namgung Myeong?]
In his voice speaking so casually, something was clearly contained.
A belief too profound for me to dare comprehend.
Something distant that allowed him to speak the word "faith" so resolutely.
[...]
Was Noya's words the problem?
Namgung Myeong fell silent for a moment, and before long he spoke in a dry voice.
[...Knowing how many years have passed, you speak such words now?]
Even if there had been faith, it was a time that would have long since crumbled.
Such years had passed.
Thinking that faith still remained was a strange thing to say.
[What is strange?]
[What gives you the right to say anything, you who have gone through nothing? At least... at least you should not have said that.]
Unlike those who remained, Shin Noya, who had not gone through that long time, should not have said that.
I could understand Namgung Myeong's claim as well.
He had been suffering and remaining behind desperately, yet a fellow who woke up after hundreds of years came and asked why he had changed; it was enough to make one angry.
The problem is....
'That something seems off.'
From Namgung Myeong's voice as he spoke thus, something felt ominous.
Shin Noya seemed to have felt that as well.
[...Faith, yes. It can be lost. I do not have the right to berate that.]
[...]
[However, if you were going to do it, you should have done it thoroughly.]
[What do you mean....]
For some reason, Noya's voice felt gradually lowering.
[If you were going to lose your faith, that alone should have been it. Yet desire has taken the place where faith was lost.]
[...!]
[Do you intend to deny this as well?]
At the heavy words, the air dropped once more.
Desire has filled the place where faith was lost. What did those words mean?
I could not know. But Namgung Myeong seemed to have some guess.
[From you, nothing but desire can be felt. The greed to set the family right. The impatience to fix the broken swordsmanship. Nothing but that.]
[What... is wrong with that? Even in this state, are you saying I should have sought only peace and cast Namgung aside? Where is there such a selfish word!]
It was a world that had rotted long ago.
Rather than foolishly waiting while crying for peace even here, I would save at least my own bloodline.
In a way, it could be called the most rational thought.
It was what he had said before.
Because Hwasan, which had lost nothing, existed, Shin Noya could not understand Namgung Myeong, or so he had said.
It was true, but upon hearing those words, Shin Noya's voice only grew clearer.
[Correct. It is a selfish thing to say, to be honest. It would not have been strange for anyone to do likewise.]
[But how...!]
[If only he were not Namgung Myeong.]
His tone carried a force that cut short any reply.
[There is a phrase he used to say like a habit. If you are Namgung Myeong, you would know it.]
[...]
[Do you know it? Even when his entire body was painted with blood, he said this.]
Namgung Myeong fell silent.
Was it because he did not know? Or because he could not say it?
I could not know this time either.
[Namgung, left alone in a crumbling world, is unnecessary.]
[...!]
[The sword of the Namgung family becomes a supreme king to protect someone, he used to say. But of what use is a sword with none left to protect? That is what he said every day.]
A sovereign without subjects is meaningless.
It was an arrogant and unpleasant word, but because heart was contained in those words, a feeling that resonated somewhere brushed past.
[If that fellow Myeong had lost his faith, he is one who would have cut his own throat on the spot. Filling an emptied space with desire? An absurd thing to say.]
Only now could I know.
The reason Noya's voice was gradually darkening and chilling was not because his emotions were drying up.
Rather.
'He's angry.'
He was so angry that, rather, he was becoming calm.
[Therefore, do not insult my friend any further than this.]
Perhaps because the meaning permeating his voice was so mighty, for an instant my breath seemed to stop.
I wanted to cut into the conversation, but pressed down by Noya's atmosphere, I couldn't utter a single word.
I couldn't help but find that belief wondrous.
'How is that possible?'
A conviction that even if his friend had fallen, he would not have become like this.
The belief built up to be able to gain such conviction.
Just what kind of life had he lived, and what kind of relationship had he forged to be able to believe so transparently?
To me, who had not lived such a life, it was an incomprehensible relationship.
[I ask again. Who are you?]
[...Shin Cheol.]
Namgung Myeong's voice calling Shin Noya seemed to tremble somewhere. Or perhaps it seemed resigned.
After remaining silent for a long while, Namgung Myeong began to speak again.
[I... I... am Namgung Myeong.]
This time was the same as before.
[This fact will not change no matter what happens.]
[This fellow truly....]
[However...]
[I am merely not the main body.]
At the last words Namgung Myeong spat out, Shin Noya, who had been about to finally burst into a roar, stopped.
[...What? What did you just say?]
Main body? What was this now?
At the sudden nonsensical words, my eyes widened as well.
As I rolled my eyes wondering what this was, Namgung Myeong continued.
[The lingering attachment left behind by the main body for the sake of Namgung. That is what I am.]
[...What? A lingering attachment? Then where has the real Myeong gone?]
Setting aside talk of main bodies and such.
If what is speaking now is something like a remnant, then where on earth is the real Namgung Myeong?
Even Shin Noya asked in confusion.
Namgung Myeong answered.
[...The North Sea. He is in the North Sea.]
Of all things, that damned land's name popped out again.
******************
I opened my eyes.
My eyelids felt somehow heavy and irritating.
"...Ugh...."
I raised my body as if staggering. I felt a strange muscle pain when I moved my arms.
'What?'
I got up and grabbed my head, thinking.
When did I lose consciousness? Was the memory up until just now a dream?
A dream of Namgung Myeong and Noya conversing. No, I don't think it was a dream.
I think we talked like that, and upon hearing the name North Sea, I had immediately picked up Noea and gone out.
Then I immediately tried to spar with Namgung Bia.
I used Noea... Ah.
'Right, I used Noea.'
I remembered that while trying out energies here and there, Noea had suddenly worked.
And sparring with it... I lost.
Yeah, I lost. I lost to Namgung Bia.
I acted cocky with a sword I knew nothing about and lost after falling for a feint.
And then....
'...'
*Smack—!*
The memory of something touching my lips suddenly came to mind, and I slapped my cheek.
Because I felt heat rising to my face.
I remember up to there. Damn clearly, at that.
Then, what is this situation now?
Why did I open my eyes after having lost consciousness?
'...No way.'
Did I faint from just a mere kiss?
Wow, that's a bit problematic.
'That's so embarrassing....'
Fainting from just a little kiss, that couldn't be.
If that were really the case, I was ready to bite my tongue and die right then.
'Stop just thinking. Should I die now? Yeah, that would be better.'
Just as I was about to put it into practice rather than engaging in useless brooding out of embarrassment.
[Stop this foolishness. That is not the reason.]
Noya spoke to me in a voice full of pity.
[Doing such things the moment you wake.... What in the world am I to do with this one.]
'It's not? Then what is it? Why was I lying here?'
[Why do you ask? It is the backlash from using Noea.]
'Huh?'
Backlash?
Thanks to Noya's words, a belated memory surfaced.
Immediately after being ambushed with a kiss by Namgung Bia, I had been frozen like a stone for a few seconds. The moment I hastily tried to move.
Then.
-Ugh...!
I had to grab my heart at once.
Because tremendous pain suddenly visited my heart.
And before long, I had lost consciousness.
'...That was the backlash from using Noea?'
[Why did you insist on using something that doesn't even suit you!]
There was clearly no big problem when I touched it, and even when I used it?
'Other than it consuming a lot of energy, it seemed fine.... Is the backlash really that severe?'
[To begin with, using such a spectral item. Would it not be stranger to think there would be no backlash whatsoever?]
'But.... Gwijeong was....'
[Did you not say so with your own mouth? That Gwijeong is less efficient than Noea.]
'...'
I felt some thorns in his words.
This old man is now holding a grudge over me comparing Gwijeong and Noea.
'...I'm sorry about that.'
[Tch.]
I tried apologizing, but Shin Noya didn't seem to be placated by that.
Leaving that aside for now. By Noya's logic, it wasn't a strange thing to say.
Even just the energy I felt when using Noea, it was strange that there was no backlash while it strengthened my body that much.
'So it means it wasn't just consuming my energy.'
The problem is, in my previous life, after the Demonic Sword Queen used Noea. I had never seen her feel this level of pain.
'I saw her looking exhausted from using all her energy, but I never saw her feeling that level of pain.'
This means there is a high possibility it is a problem unique to me.
To find the cause.
'For trying to use something that doesn't suit me....'
As Noya said.
It must be the side effect of using a spectral object that doesn't suit me from the beginning.
Come to think of it, covering an object meant to be used with thunder energy entirely with fire energy and using it—so the fact that I could use it at all was strange in itself.
'If I had known this would happen, I wouldn't have used it.'
Apart from the spectral object's own performance, it was an item that wouldn't be efficient even if I used it.
To think I almost died because I used it out of pointless curiosity.
'...Anyway. How did I really use it?'
Backlash aside, I had to figure out how I had been able to use Noea in the first place.
Just as I was trying to think of the reason for this.
[Young one. Now is not the time for that, is it?]
Noya spoke to me.
'Huh?'
[Can you not see what is beside you?]
What is he talking about?
I looked to the side according to Noya's words.
There.
"...Huh...?"
My father, sitting and drinking tea.
And across from him, Moyong Hui-a, Wi Seol-a, and Namgung Bia were sitting with their heads deeply bowed.
'...'
Seeing that, I nodded slightly and lay my body back down on the bed.
I guess it's still a dream.
I closed my eyes thinking that, but.
It didn't take ten seconds to realize it was not a dream.