Chapter 522 - Just This Once
Should I send her away.
My mind grows tangled at the words of Namgung Bia, who had said she wanted to go.
If I must send her away.
Why must I send her away.
The North Sea.
I wanted to block Namgung Bia, who insisted on going even to that distant land.
Yet I couldn't easily stop her.
The reason was none other than this.
'It was her eyes.'
The eyes of Namgung Bia looking at me were clearer than ever.
The eyes that had seemed dim were gone, and her blue eyes shone like jewels.
Like someone who had found their path.
Looking into those exceptionally bright eyes, it was truly difficult to tell her not to go.
But.
Even so, I spoke.
I asked her not to go.
To that faraway place, I told her not to go and leave me behind.
I wanted to say those words.
Even if it was dirty and lowly. I wanted to hold onto Namgung Bia, even like that.
It was truly a shameful emotion.
Having disliked feeling this, I had repeatedly pushed it away so many times, yet now that worry had taken root, tangled up in my emotions.
This was a sordid possessiveness, separate from affection.
Because I had placed Namgung Bia in my heart, that spot had grown endlessly, making it impossible to let her go.
However.
"I must go."
Even to my request not to go, Namgung Bia looked at me with clear eyes.
Unbearably pure and clear.
That she would show me eyes she never usually revealed, now of all times, was nothing but cowardly.
Then should I let her go? Just stay still like this?
I couldn't do that.
Gathering strength to protect me? Saying she must go to the North Sea for that?
What a ridiculous notion.
'Who's protecting whom.'
Do you know how hard I've been struggling.
Moreover, what am I struggling for, that she would say she'll protect me even in this life?
Preposterous.
I wanted to pour those words out right in front of her.
'It's not you protecting me. I'm the one protecting you.'
So just stay quietly by my side.
I wanted to spout such worthless words, but I had to bite my lip and hold them back.
This damned thing called love fanned my possessiveness, yet forced me to endure it.
So I couldn't speak.
But just because I couldn't speak didn't mean my actions were restrained.
I stood facing Namgung Bia.
"..."
As I looked at her quietly, our gazes met.
She didn't avoid it.
I stared straight into her blue pupils.
'...'
Looking at that gaze, I found myself wanting to avert my eyes without realizing it.
When was it.
That I had looked at her so slowly like this.
I try hard to recall, but.
'I don't think there ever was such a time.'
As far as I knew, there wasn't.
I had no memory of having looked at Namgung Bia's features in such detail.
Perhaps that was why I ended up looking so deeply.
White hair tinged with a faint blue light, snow-white skin. As if powdered, a subtle atmosphere lingered around her eyes.
Beautiful.
She was still beautiful.
While looking at her so calmly.
"..."
I saw the accessory pinned in Namgung Bia's hair.
It was the moon-shaped ornament I had gifted her.
She was still wearing it.
I had bought it so cheaply that it now looked rather worn.
Next time, I would have to buy her something a little better.
'Ha.'
Thinking that, I let out a short, hollow breath.
Have I gone mad, thinking of such things now?
All sorts of thoughts entered my mind.
Countless stray thoughts flickered through.
I knew.
That the final destination of all these thoughts was an attempt to turn away from myself, who didn't want to send her off.
Perhaps because I knew that.
It didn't work.
There was no way I could turn away.
If I could have done that, I wouldn't have kept Namgung Bia by my side in the first place.
She probably doesn't know how significant a choice it was to keep her by my side.
Moreover, I hoped she wouldn't know.
Srrng.
A chilling sound rang by my ear.
It was the sound of Namgung Bia drawing her sword.
Looking at that, I asked.
"You're really going to do this?"
"Yeah...."
To my question, Namgung Bia nodded resolutely.
Her posture was upright. Honest.
A sparring match.
Despite my absurd request, Namgung Bia accepted without hesitation.
There was no way.
No matter how much of a genius Namgung Bia was, this was beyond that domain.
She must surely know that as well.
Yet the reason she accepted this was.
'...Because of my petty trick, no doubt.'
The conditions attached to this sparring match were likely the reason.
We would spar using swords.
Since the sparring itself made no sense as it was, I had attached this condition.
Moreover, I had also mixed in a play on words: rather than winning against me, she would receive acknowledgment.
This was also my petty scheme to make Namgung Bia accept the sparring match.
I had to produce something that Namgung Bia could somehow accept as well.
And so.
I would defeat her and make her give up.
That was my goal now.
Cowardly?
'I know. That much....'
I know full well.
But that was just how much I didn't want to send Namgung Bia away.
Leaving behind the time when I had begged her to go.
Now, I was in a state where it would be troublesome if she weren't by my side. All the more so in my current state.
'...My mind is not whole.'
I hadn't told anyone, but my current mental state was not normal.
Combined with gathering my energy, I also needed time to grasp my changed emotional state and mind.
Because of that situation, I hoped Namgung Bia wouldn't leave now.
Whether I was reviled for sordid possessiveness or condemned for selfishness, whatever anyone called it, that was simply how my heart felt.
Facing Namgung Bia's sword, I too picked up a sword.
It was an iron sword I had grabbed roughly from nearby.
I wanted to use Gwijeong with all my heart, but that seemed too much.
As I picked up the sword, I felt gazes around me.
They were the gazes of Baekryeongeom and Gwaeseon.
The gazes I felt were full of curiosity; likely because I had said I would spar with Namgung Bia using a sword.
They must be quite curious how I intended to fight with this.
It probably looked like a very strange situation to them.
The gap in realm was clear.
For a hand-to-hand specialist, me taking up a sword ultimately meant I would be abandoning my main martial art to fight; looked at more broadly, it was on the level of throwing away both arms to fight.
I knew next to nothing about swords, after all.
Even if I used internal energy, without enlightenment it would be a half-baked sword qi.
Since I didn't even know the sword forms to utilize it, it would amount to nothing more than swinging wildly.
If I fought Namgung Bia, who was at the perfected peak. Unless something unusual happened, I would lose.
At least, that's how it would look to them.
Namgung Bia knows me, so I couldn't be sure, but.
Since she had accepted the match, she likely thought the same.
But.
'...Noya. I'm counting on you.'
I had none other than Shin Cheol, the Hwasan Divine Sword.
With a sword, he was a man who wouldn't lose anywhere.
A figure who had risen to the seat of hero with but a single blade.
I had even seen him toy with Namgung Jin as if teaching a child.
This time too, he would surely beat her black and blue with a sword.
It was with such thoughts that I had spoken to Noya, but.
[...Huh...? Me...?]
Noya, who had been quiet, spoke to me in a bewildered voice.
For some reason, that reaction felt bitter.
'What is that reaction...?'
[No way.... Don't tell me you're asking me to fight?]
'Then who will fight?'
[You insane bastard? It's your body, so of course you should fight!]
Noya spat out words as if dumbfounded.
Hearing that, I was dumbfounded too.
'What! How am I supposed to fight! I don't even know how to use a sword!'
[How can you say something so shameless! If you don't know how to use it, you shouldn't have done this, brat!]
'Of course if I said I'd use a blade, it's obvious that Noya would step in.'
It had always been like that until now.
So I had naturally thought the same would happen this time.
[Heh... Heheh... What am I to do with this madman. He tries to mooch off me for everything.]
Noya continuously let out sighs as if facing an unexpected situation.
[I thought since you said you'd use a sword, you'd throw the match and was watching.... Truly, you are the most shameless man under heaven...! Doing this to your betrothed, does that make sense?]
'...Hey, save the scolding for later. Can't you help me just this once...?'
I know you're looking at me pitifully. But I had to get this done even if I threw a tantrum.
Having judged so, as I tried to beg Noya.
[No.]
Noya refused resolutely.
'Noya...!'
[No matter how you ask, what cannot be done cannot be done.]
'Why. You always stole it and used it just fine...! Why of all times are you pretending to be awake now.'
[This brat...? When did I ever steal it...! And. It's not that I won't, it's that I can't.]
'Huh?'
...Can't? What does that mean?
I widened my eyes at the unexpected words, and Noya continued as if explaining.
[Right after your body changed. I became unable to borrow your body.]
'...What did you say? What nonsense is that?'
It was the first time I had heard this.
It had only been a few days since the shedding, but this was a problem I had never heard from Noya before.
Just as I was wondering what this was about, Noya added.
[...Because you've been so busy running around. I had forgotten too, hadn't I?]
'Damn...!'
At Noya's words, my mind finally went blank.
Noya said he could no longer enter my body?
Then.
'Then what am I supposed to do...?'
[Why ask me. You're the one who caused this mess.]
I'm screwed. I think I'm really screwed?
'...Isn't this a lie? Please just say it's a lie. I'll let it slide just this once.'
[What, shall I swear on the former sect leader? That my words are true...?]
'That wouldn't make me believe you.... Because if it's you, Noya, I feel like you'd swear by him without a care.'
[Hehe, you little whelp, if I could steal your body right now, I would have long since done so and stripped your pants or bitten your tongue.... It is my great regret that I cannot.]
Shit.
Hearing those words, it really seemed like he couldn't.
Facing an unforeseen situation, my mind grew frantic.
'What do I do?'
What do I really do.
My pupils shook like mad.
Namgung Bia seemed to have noticed this as she tilted her head.
"...Why... are you like that?"
Namgung Bia spoke to me as if worried.
The desire to suggest we fight with fists even now welled up.
[That would be.... A bit too pathetic, wouldn't it.]
'...'
Noya spoke as if that was truly not it.
I knew too.
If I really said that, I would likely despise myself.
'...Then what am I supposed to do. The answer's gone.'
[Just grab the sword properly and fight. What's so hard.]
As if someone had ever sliced the sky with a blade, he spoke so easily.
If it wasn't hard, would I have done hand-to-hand instead of becoming a swordsman?
'Should I just use Gwijeong.'
Gwijeong bound to my left arm.
If I used this, things might be different.
At least it would be better than this iron sword.
'No... Gwijeong just doesn't break, so it might be meaningless,'
If so, rather than Gwijeong....
Srrk.
I looked at Noea held in my other hand.
It was right after I had finished speaking with Namgung Myeong in my quarters.
We hadn't spoken much. But important words had been exchanged.
Perhaps that was the problem.
Namgung Myeong had kept his mouth shut.
'...In terms of efficiency, this is better than Gwijeong.'
As a Ghost Artifact that maximizes the user's power. This would be more suitable than Gwijeong in the current situation.
'But I can't use it.'
Leaving aside why I can hold Gwijeong.
This was an item that couldn't be used without the choice of the Noegi and Noea.
"..."
Looking at Noea quietly, I secretly channeled energy.
Taking advantage of the fact that I could touch it, I tried channeling a bit.
[What are you putting your filthy energy into...!]
Namgung Myeong, who had been quiet, shouted in anger.
Caught.
I smiled awkwardly and said.
'I was just trying in case.'
[Hah...! You who can barely touch it, how dare you...! Do not dare hope. This is something that cannot be used without my permission.]
So it needed not only Noea's choice, but Namgung Myeong's choice as well.
Having to cater to the temper of a foul-natured old man.
It couldn't be anything but a damned item.
'Gwijeong is better after all.'
In that regard, Gwijeong was better.
At least that one didn't require catering to Noya's moods.
However.
Was it an illusion in the midst?
The thought I had while channeling energy into Noea just now.
'I felt like something would work.'
It felt like it accepted energy better than I thought.
Just in case, I pushed more energy in.
Perhaps sensing this, Namgung Myeong spoke to me with annoyance.
[Didn't I say it was useless. I clearly said....]
Hwak—!
"Huh?"
[...Huh...?]
After channeling a considerable amount of energy for a while.
Suddenly, light appeared from the gem of Noea.
Chwaaak—!
Beginning with the light, tremendous heat erupted.
"..."
[...]
Namgung Myeong, who had been loud amid the sudden situation, fell silent.
I looked at Noea in my hand and quietly whispered.
"So this works...?"