Chapter 460 - Change(變).
A white martial arts uniform.
A plum blossom pattern emblazoned across the chest. A scar running vertically across his neck to the tip of his jaw.
Sharply slitted eyes and deeply furrowed brows. At a glance, he looked like someone whose temper was anything but ordinary.
It wasn't my place to say, but no matter who looked, he was definitely not someone you'd take for an orthodox martial artist or a daoist.
He was the fiercest-looking human being I had ever laid eyes on.
Looking at him, he was a person I was seeing for the very first time.
Yet I knew who he was.
How could I not?
He was the very one who had made such a deafening racket in my head all this time.
Looking at the old man glaring at me as if he found me displeasing, I cautiously called out to him.
"Noya?"
"Hmph."
At my call, the old man snorted loudly.
I rubbed the back of my head, which was still tingling.
"Are you really Shin Noya?"
"Tsk, tsk... How many times have I cleaned up and wiped away the mess you've made? And yet you ask me this."
The old man took a step closer.
He was considerably taller than I'd expected. Perhaps just shy of seven cheok?
Was he really Shin Noya? If so, then why was he here....
No, should I first figure out why I was seeing Noya here?
"You're thinking stupid thoughts again."
"Huh?"
"Shall I hit your head once more? Come to your senses, quick!"
My body flinched at Shin Noya’s roar.
I couldn’t understand what he was saying. What was I supposed to come to my senses about?
Yet, at the same time, things that had been hazy felt relatively clearer.
A feeling that something was happening. Just as I was gradually sensing that—
Noya curled his lips, still looking displeased.
"Sigh. You lacking wretch."
"...Why are you like this the moment you see me? At least tell me the reason properly."
"That's right. You've always been one who needs to be spoon-fed to eat."
"..."
"Take a good look at your chest."
At Noya’s words, I tilted my head and looked down. Why was he telling me to look at my chest all of a sudden....?
"...!"
The moment I saw it, my eyes widened and I reached out.
I frantically stroked my own chest, thoroughly bewildered.
I had no choice.
Because there was a sizable hole in the place where my heart should have been.
"What the hell, this is insane."
What is this? Why is there a hole in my chest?
I was rolling my eyes every which way, wondering what on earth this was.
"Keh keh."
"That's quite the impressive wind hole."
Shin Noya burst out laughing, seemingly finding my actions amusing. It was laughter closer to mockery.
"Wh... what is this?"
When I asked why my body was in this state, Shin Noya pointed behind me with his finger.
I turned around to see the spot where the giant egg I had been looking at earlier was.
It was now surrounded by plum blossoms, its form hidden.
"What is that...?"
"That is what was inside your hole."
"...What?"
I let out a hollow breath at Noya’s words.
That was what had been in my chest?
That...
"Wasn't that my vessel...?"
Was he saying my vessel hadn't been materialized?
"A vessel and a heart are not so different. In the end, it is the same thing."
"...But a vessel is supposed to reside in the dantian. How can they be the same?"
"If both break, you die either way. How can they be so different?"
"..."
Well, if you put it that way, I suppose...
I was at a loss for words. Shin Noya looked at me and let out a deep sigh.
"Someone was busting their gut to hold it back for you, and you've gone and caused a massive accident."
"You were holding it back?"
I perked up my ears at Noya’s words. He was holding it back? What?
The moment I harbored that question, Shin Noya abruptly approached me.
Kuhng—!
"Kuhk!"
He struck the top of my head hard with his fist.
My body swayed from the impact.
The pain was so intense that I had to sink down and cradle my head.
"Krrrrgh...."
As I groaned and moaned, Noya spoke to me.
"The qi in your body keeps increasing, yet your vessel cannot endure it. Wouldn't you need something to support it in its place?"
"...What do you mean...?"
I recalled the words Shin-ui had said to me, that my vessel was on the verge of breaking.
Did Shin Noya’s words just now mean that he had been preventing the vessel from breaking?
"S-since when?"
"Your face says you already know. Why bother asking?"
"..."
Around the time Shin Noya stopped talking to me—
—to be exact, since the time I finished my seclusion.
'Even then?'
Right after I achieved rapid growth.
The silence I had expected to last a few months had stretched into years since that point.
Could this mean...?
"...Have you been holding it back since then?"
"Things improved somewhat when your realm reached the Hwagyeong, but it couldn't last long."
"Then, what about when you saved me at Biego?"
Noya looked at me as if I were absurd.
"So I should have just let you die then?"
"..."
"Hah, truly. I went out of my way to help, and you ask 'what was that?' You're still a madman."
I didn't really have anything to say to that.
When I averted my gaze slightly, Noya let out a small sigh and continued.
"Brat. Your vessel is absolutely not small. Rather, it is on the larger side."
Noya was speaking again while looking at the egg behind him.
"For such a vessel to have reached this state, you must have poured in a tremendous amount of qi."
The meaning that the vessel was on the verge of breaking because there was too much energy was different from the amount of inner qi inside.
If the vessel broke because there was too much inner qi, recalling my previous life, it wouldn't have been strange no matter how many times it broke.
This was not a problem of the amount of qi, but the number of qi types, I thought.
The qi of the Gugyeomhwaryun Gong.
The Dao Qi of Huashan.
Demonic qi.
Blood qi.
And finally the qi of the Tuapacheonmu.
A total of five energies had been contained within the vessel. Thus, it was right to say that the vessel had finally reached its limit.
...Now that I checked, that was quite a lot.
For an ordinary person, simply possessing two types of energy would have been impossible.
It was only natural that the vessel was precarious.
"That is not the only problem at the moment, but...."
"Yes?"
"That is not what is important now. I must speak of something else first."
Swish.
Shin Noya reached out. Toward the plum blossoms enveloping the egg. The moment Shin Noya’s fingertips touched them—
Hwaaraaak—!
The plum blossoms reacted.
The tightly wrapped plum blossoms lost their color and became translucent.
So that the egg inside could be seen entirely.
"..."
The egg I examined once more was utterly wretched.
It was covered in dense cracks, looking as though it would shatter with a single tap.
Unknown liquid was still flowing from the gaps.
It was a relief, one might say, that the plum blossoms were wrapped around the exterior, barely holding it together.
Or in other words.
It meant that it had remained in this state all along, and I hadn't known.
"Wrong."
I turned my head in surprise at Shin Noya’s words.
"...Are you using a mind-reading technique?"
I definitely hadn't said anything. How did he know?
"As I always say, brat, your face shows everything."
Noya looked at me like that, staring as if I were pathetic, and spoke.
"It was no different from a rag to begin with, but."
Coming from a daoist's mouth, a rag...? His eloquence was still indescribable.
"It would be right to see that this incident has accelerated that process."
"This incident?"
What did he mean? This incident?
Had something happened to me?
When I made an expression full of questions, Noya was looking at me with sunken eyes for some reason.
"Recall it before it's too late. You do not have much time."
"So what—"
"Or would you rather forget?"
"You appear after so long, only to keep saying nonsensical things...."
"I am telling you to recall why you are here."
Why am I here?
Indeed.
Why am I here?
Why was my chest in this state, and what did he mean by accelerated?
Shin Noya was telling me to recall it, which meant he knew.
I didn't know.
Nothing came to mind.
It felt like fog was rising again in my mind, which had cleared up a little.
Watching me stammer as if I knew nothing, Shin Noya added a word.
"If you are going to linger in thought only to regret after losing, I will respect your choice."
"Lose?"
Losing.
At that word, I felt a sharp pang in an empty corner of my chest.
What was I losing?
The reason I came here....
"Kuk...."
I clutched my temples at the sudden onslaught of headache. I felt as though something was about to surface along with the pain.
And not long after.
"Heo...!"
I had to let out a hollow breath and fumble at my chest. Because the sensation of my heart being pierced by a sharp sword tip had surfaced.
Only then did things surface one by one.
The moment Tianzun had ambushed me, myself who had helplessly greeted death unable to do anything.
And the back of Tianzun who had been emitting killing intent toward the Demon Sword Empress.
A vibration rang out.
Woo-woong—!
It was a trembling from the giant egg before my eyes.
Looking at it, I asked Shin Noya.
"...Am I dead?"
"Not yet dead. But you will be soon."
"..."
My heart had been pierced.
The vessel had reached that state, and due to the influence of what had just happened, it had accelerated.
That meant it wouldn't be long before it shattered.
Having recalled that much, I shifted my gaze to Shin Noya.
"What must I do?"
It was a question about the method. Upon hearing my question, Shin Noya’s expression showed absurdity.
"You are on the verge of death this very moment, and you ask me how to find a method?"
"Isn't that precisely why you're appearing to me—because you know the method?"
"Hah."
I didn't know what this space was.
Whether it was a space embodying my interior, or some other space, I had no way of knowing.
What was important was that Shin Noya had appeared here and was speaking to me.
"To think I'd see such a brazen wretch—now you've gone so far as to demand I clean up your shit for you."
"Yes. Since you're cleaning up anyway, please do it one more time."
"Hah."
I spoke as brazenly as possible. Because I now knew I didn't even have the time to beg.
Kugugung.
An even more violent movement was felt from the egg.
It truly seemed as though it would break at any moment; one might say Noya’s qi was blocking it.
"What must I do?"
"...Why do you think I know the method?"
"Isn't it because you know, that you're making that expression?"
"..."
Noya’s expression crinkled even more upon hearing those words.
"There is a method. But it doesn't seem particularly usable. Yet there is no other method. That is roughly the expression you are making."
"...It seems you are the one using the mind-reading technique, not I."
"Your face shows a lot too, Noya."
Tsk, tsk....
Shin Noya let out a bitter smile at my words.
It was definitely the first time I'd seen his face, yet it felt familiar, perhaps because he'd always been attached to me.
Setting aside such longing, there were things I needed to know now.
"...The method to overcome this situation. Please tell me, Noya."
If it was true that my heart had been pierced and I died, how on earth was I supposed to survive this situation?
Noya, who had been looking into my eyes, burst into a short laugh and spat out words.
"The fellow who was muddle-headed just moments ago. The mention of a woman brings light back to your eyes. Tsk, tsk."
"..."
"The method... Yes, there is a method."
I perked up my ears at Noya’s answer.
What could it be? Since the vessel was on the verge of breaking, could it be a method to expand the vessel?
If not that, was he going to grant me some kind of miracle?
I recalled him saying that eating anything more here would be uncontrollable, so I felt somewhat uneasy, but....
"I don't know what you're thinking, but expanding the vessel is impossible."
As if reading my expression yet again, Shin Noya immediately gave the answer.
"Even if I settled your unstable realm. It means you cannot become a vessel large enough to endure that."
"Then what am I supposed to do?"
At my words full of questions, Noya pointed to the egg behind him once again.
I wondered why he was pointing at that.
"If it has stagnated to the point it can endure no longer, then rather, let it flow."
"Yes...?"
Let it flow? Does that mean, just leave it be even if the vessel breaks?
"If the vessel breaks while doing that, won't I die?"
"You will die."
"Then in the end...."
"You, as a human."
"...!"
I had to widen my eyes at Noya’s cold words.
That I would die as a human. What on earth...
"You already know. That it is growing difficult to call yourself human."
"..."
"That is the final frame maintaining you as a human."
The final frame.
"...That vessel is the final frame that keeps me alive as a human?"
"Moreover, the reason it has endured so stubbornly without breaking is your obsession, brat."
"Obsession...?"
"Yes, your final obsession of wanting to live as a human."
Clench.
My fist balled up on its own.
Obsession.
That thing was my obsession of wanting to remain human no matter what?
Rippling water was flowing, wetting the floor.
That thing was barely holding on to contain that water—all of it was my obsession.
"...I cannot understand."
"It does not matter if you don't understand. What is important... is the choice you must make now."
"...Noya."
"The reason I have been blocking that until now was purely due to my own greed."
"Greed, you say."
"If your desire to remain human yourself is an obsession, then my desire to keep you human was greed."
"..."
"Because I wished for you to remain human."
A faint bitterness lingered in Noya’s voice.
"Now, even that is too late, and the time has come for you to choose."
What was I to choose? I faced Noya without hiding my trembling pupils.
"If you wish. You can die eternally as a human, right here."
"...!"
Plum blossoms fluttering in the air gathered at Noya’s fingertips as he spoke.
Gathered in a handful like that, they took form—none other than a sword.
The tip of the purplish-red sword in Noya’s hand pointed toward me.
"So choose. Whether to end it here and now, or to live on having abandoned your humanity."
"..."
Life and death.
Being told to choose between them was actually words where the scales were tipped to one side.
How could it not be? That is what living means.
Even knowing all that, I could not easily give an answer.
To become inhuman.
The pressure from those words kept my mouth shut tight.
"...If I am not human... what do I become?"
"I do not know. What I do know is that if you choose it, you will certainly regret it."
"If I choose this. I come back to life?"
"That too, I do not know."
"Then what is the—"
"Your flesh may revive, but whether what is inside that shell is truly you, brat, is something I do not know."
It was an unspeakably terrifying statement.
'I might not be me?'
If not me, then what would be contained in my body?
Additionally, the warning that I would definitely regret this choice was also frightening.
I had thought that for the peace I desired, I could abandon anything.
But looking at it now, it seemed that was not the case.
'I see.'
I thought as I looked at the crumbling egg.
'It seems I wanted to live as a human.'
Because in my previous life, I lived a life unbefitting a human as a demonic being.
In this life, I wanted to live as an ordinary human.
This seemed to be a wish I didn't know I had.
Was he saying that if I gave this up, I would regret it in the end?
Yes, surely that would be the case.
And yet.
I moved my steps with an unconcerned expression.
"..."
Noya, watching that, also didn't utter a word. He simply watched me in silence.
My destination was where the egg was.
The egg, seen up close, was still a wreck. It was on the verge of collapsing at any moment.
It resembled my life.
A life crumpled and ruined, covered in various colors.
The shape of the egg seemed to express my life as a human.
Slowly, I reached out toward it.
Tap.
The texture was rough, with not a single soft spot.
It seemed to take after its owner's temperament.
Ignoring that, I pushed deeper.
Crack—!
The surface broke and my hand easily dug inside.
The feeling inside... was somehow warm.
"...Brat."
In that situation, Noya called out to me in a powerless voice.
"Yes."
"Do you have no regrets about that choice?"
I let out a laugh at Noya’s question.
No regrets?
"No. I want to stop right this instant."
"Then do so."
"However. There are far too many things more important than my petty pride."
Rather than the obsession and pride of wanting to live and die as a human.
The people I wanted to find peace with my damned life were more important.
"Rather, if it were my death and the world on the scales, it would have been much easier."
I am a human for whom my pride is more important than saving the world. If it had been that, I would have chosen in an instant.
Unfortunately, my opponent was too strong.
"...Ha."
Noya laughed hollowly at my answer.
"Even seeing you after so long, you haven't changed."
"You haven't changed either, Noya."
"What about me."
"Your temper is still fearsome."
"...You brat?"
Grit—
The moment Noya twisted his face and tried to approach.
Jjeojeojeojeok—!
Starting from where my hand had dug in, massive cracks spread in every direction.
Water gradually began to flow out from the long, deep cracks.
"..."
A situation where it felt like something tremendous would soon rage through.
I swallowed the small fear rising from within.
"Ah, right. Noya."
I spoke to Noya.
"What."
"When we meet again later."
"Hm?"
In the middle of continuing my words, the egg's shell shattered into pieces, and the water inside gushed out.
Kwaaaaah—!
Just as my body was about to be swept away by the tremendous torrent, I grinned broadly and spoke to Noya.
"I think we'll have much to talk about regarding Lady Dangjemun."
"..."
At the mention of Dangjemun, Noya's facial expression became quite a sight to behold.
That was enough.
I would endure and tease that old man.
For now, this feeling was enough.