〈 Chapter 449 〉 Ah, This Isn't Right.
When was it?
No, how much time had passed since then?
I can't quite remember.
It was from far too long ago, and more than anything, it was a memory I didn't care to keep.
Something I wanted to bury deep in my heart, or erase entirely from my mind.
Yet there were things that refused to fade, even against such feelings.
No, rather, it was those memories that remained most vividly.
This memory was like that for me.
Around the time the stench unique to the Demonic Realm had grown familiar.
When the risen red moon now felt no different from an ordinary lantern.
It was when I had risen late into the night to stand watch, as always.
By that point, the survivors had dwindled with the passage of time, and the shifts had been twisted into an utter mess.
*Fwoosh.*
As the darkness deepened and obscured my vision, I lit a flame.
My internal energy was pathetically meager, so at best it brightened the space right before my eyes, and it didn't do much to warm my body either.
Still, I kept it lit thinking it was better than nothing, but—
*Fwick—!*
A wind blew from somewhere and with a tap! snuffed out the flame.
[...]
I looked at the pitifully extinguished flame, then frowned and glanced to the left.
[What the hell are you doing, you wanna die?]
My irritation was at its peak.
Because the wind just now was artificial energy created with internal energy.
The one who had put out my flame was looking at me with those characteristically cold eyes.
[You're the one who—I clearly warned you not to carelessly light a fire.]
At the woman's cold voice, I clicked my tongue briefly.
[I can't see a damn thing, so what do you want me to do? I need to see something to stand guard, don't I?]
[If you can't see anything, then don't look. If you can't even see this much, you wouldn't have been able to see anything anyway.]
At her resolute words, my brow furrowed on its own.
[You sure talk like a real asshole.]
[Because it's the truth. This is better than demonic creatures swarming your flame.]
She spat out an icy remark as if it were nothing, then grabbed her long blonde hair and tied it back tightly.
The brief glimpse of her pale neckline would have made any man unable to look away.
But I was the one who averted my gaze instead.
Because her words cut deeper than the woman's beauty.
[So since I'm weak, I should know my place and crawl. Is that more or less what you're saying?]
At my words, I saw the woman's shoulders tremble slightly.
[...That's not what I meant, but...]
[The hell it isn't. Forget it, it's not like this is my first time.]
By now, I had no pride left to be wounded by such words.
A crushed and shattered ego had nothing left to break.
No... had a tiny fragment still remained?
[...I suppose talented bastards like you wouldn't understand.]
Was that why I had blurted out such things without realizing it?
[How someone like me, crawling on the ground, feels. You wouldn't know.]
[...]
Golden eyes turned this way.
A subtle irritation seeped into those pupils.
I couldn't even understand that irritation.
A late-generation prodigy who had begun to stand tall in place of the Five Dragons Three Peaks, acclaimed for her unprecedented talent.
That was her current sobriquet.
Why would words praising her talent be so irritating?
It was something I could not comprehend.
[What is it that you think you know, to speak like that...?]
Perhaps she had grown displeased, for she spoke to me so.
But I simply took it indifferently.
[Do you know me so well that you can say something like that?]
[...]
At my words, the woman—So Geomseong—bit her lip.
Seeing that, a sigh escaped me.
This was an unnecessary argument.
Especially arguments with talented bastards—I hated them.
No matter what was said, it was obvious we would never understand each other.
Why the hell would I bother with such an annoying conversation?
As I shook my head at that thought, this time she posed a question to me.
[You... why are you always so discontented?]
[What?]
[Does acting like that about everything make you feel any better?]
[This bitch. Now you're trying to lecture me? My own parents never did that, so why the hell are you?]
That's right.
If my parents had, I wouldn't have turned out like this.
I swallowed those words.
[No matter how great you are, this is—]
[I'm not great.]
[Who are you trying to fool?]
She was the one bearing all sorts of grand sobriquets, yet she claimed she wasn't great. What kind of bullshit was that?
But...
[...I really wasn't great.]
So Geomseong said so to me in a weary voice.
I still could not understand those words.
[Fine, you're not great.]
I decided to let it go since it was annoying.
If she insisted she wasn't great, what more could I do?
I just wanted this time to pass quickly.
Not only was standing guard irritating, but standing together with So Geomseong was especially uncomfortable.
The shifts had ended up like this because the guy on duty before me had become food for demonic creatures.
We were already at each other's throats whenever we met.
To stick the two of us together like this...
Seolbong, that rotten bitch, must have done it on purpose.
That damnable wench was the one who arranged the guard shifts.
She knew I was uncomfortable around So Geomseong, so she must have done this deliberately.
Anyway, she was someone I couldn't stand.
Regardless, about seven days and nights had passed since the two of us were paired up like this.
And today, there had been unusually more conversation than most.
Ah, though of course, the conversation wasn't peaceful and had been sharp, as before.
After growling at each other a few more times, silence fell.
I was comfortable with such silence, so I was just quietly counting the pebbles on the ground when So Geomseong suddenly asked something strange.
[What is your goal?]
[...Huh?]
At those words, I frowned without realizing it.
What was she saying...?
It was far too unexpected a question. A goal?
[Where'd that bullshit come from all of a sudden?]
[I wondered if even someone like you had a goal.]
[Why are you picking a fight out of nowhere? Have you lost your mind?]
It was absurd.
Like being struck while quietly looking at stones.
A goal, of all things. A goal?
[...]
I thought it over carefully, but nothing particularly came to mind.
I wasn't someone who went looking for goals.
I had no affection for life itself, so how could I have a goal?
As if such a thing could exist—I was just breathing, that was all.
The more I thought about it, the more my mood soured for no reason.
With a bitter expression, I looked at So Geomseong and asked.
[What about you? Do you have one?]
[...]
At my question, So Geomseong turned her head and averted her eyes.
[What. You don't have one either? We're the same then.]
I snickered and said so, and So Geomseong's eyes flared as she whipped her head toward me.
Saying she was the same as me seemed to be incredibly offensive to her.
[...I... do...]
Contrary to her fierce expression, her voice was incomparably gentle.
Perhaps with a hint of embarrassment mixed in.
[You do? What is it?]
Truthfully, I wasn't curious in the slightest. I just asked.
I had no need to know what someone else's goal was.
[...]
To that question of mine, So Geomseong remained silent for quite some time.
I wondered how great a goal it must be for her to hesitate so much.
Leader of the Martial Alliance, or perhaps the greatest under heaven, something like that?
If that were it, it would indeed be difficult.
Well, being so great, she could have such a goal.
As I waited with a bitter taste in my mouth, So Geomseong spat out words in a very small voice.
[...Mom.]
[What?]
It was too quiet to hear well. As I perked up my ears and asked again.
[...My mom...]
So Geomseong said so to me, her ears slightly flushed.
Mom?
[...?]
Hearing those words, I made a strange expression and put some distance between us.
[...The hell.]
Mom, out of nowhere—what was that supposed to mean?
Did I mishear?
[...Mom?]
[...]
I asked again just in case, but judging by her reaction, it seemed I hadn't misheard after all.
Seeing my reaction, So Geomseong seemed embarrassed by what she'd said and instead began to get angry.
[...Why...? Is it strange?]
[Of course it's strange. Your goal being your mom out of nowhere.]
[...A mother is a great goal. Why don't you understand that?]
[Maybe it's because I don't have a mom. I don't really get it.]
[...]
At the blunt self-deprecation, So Geomseong clamped her mouth shut for a moment.
I hadn't meant to make it turn out like that.
[No, so why of all things is that your goal?]
Leaving aside all sorts of grand ambitions, why 'mom' of all things?
It was the most incomprehensible thing I had ever heard.
[...It's not necessarily that my goal is exactly that.]
[You just said it was your goal.]
[I just meant that I dream of an ordinary life.]
[Hmm?]
An ordinary life?
[Meeting someone. Loving them. Getting married and having children... Fighting and making up as we live. Growing old together... That kind of life.]
The more I listened, the drier my mouth felt.
[Then do it. What's the problem?]
It didn't seem like something grand enough to set as a goal.
It wasn't like she wanted to become a mighty expert.
It wasn't like she wanted to become the head of a great family.
So Geomseong's words, wanting to live like a truly ordinary woman, felt difficult to me in a different sense.
Something she could do even now—I couldn't understand why she insisted on calling it a goal.
As if she had sensed my thoughts.
[You're right. It's truly an easy thing.]
Though she said that, I could clearly hear the words she quietly added after.
—That easy thing is truly difficult...
...is what she said.
After those words, she didn't utter another word.
I didn't ask anything more either.
With the illusion that the night had somehow grown darker, as if in silent collusion, I followed her lead and closed my mouth.
And so, that day's time came to an end, but.
Strangely, the memory of that day never faded from my mind.
Was it because it was some grand conversation that I couldn't forget it?
If I were to find the reason.
I suppose it was because it was the starting point where I began to take her into my eyes without realizing it.
Was the reason I came to pursue So Geomseong because it was fascinating that such a great woman's goal was mere ordinariness?
Or was it the wretchedness contained in the woman's face as she spoke those words?
Even now, I don't know for sure.
By the time I realized it myself, it had already happened before I knew it.
Perhaps it was around then that the goal she had asked about took root in my heart.
I never told anyone about it.
A goal that even I myself didn't know until the moment I died.
The funny thing is...
Whether it was her goal or mine.
In our previous life, until the very moment we died, neither of us ever achieved them.
******************
Was it an illusion?
No.
No matter how I looked at it, it wasn't an illusion.
So Geomseong's gaze was definitely fixed on me.
Among these countless demonic figures, why was she looking at me?
I kept checking, thinking it might be a coincidence, but So Geomseong's gaze remained pinned on me without moving.
As I looked into her golden pupils, bewilderment filling me.
*Thump.*
"...!"
An unknown vibration was felt from within my body.
I touched my chest.
'What is it?'
*Thump... thump...*
The vibration didn't stop and was felt continuously inside my chest.
I swallowed a groan at the sensation that seemed to grow stronger.
'...This.'
The vibration felt from within my body.
I thought I knew its true nature.
I immediately sent my gaze toward So Geomseong.
She was still looking at me with surprised eyes.
This time, I likely wore a similar expression.
It seemed she, too, was feeling something, just like me.
Recalling that, I clenched my hand.
'Damn it.'
*Thump. Thump.*
The continuously ringing vibration.
No.
This wasn't a vibration.
It was resonance.
This was the same energy resonating with one another.
The moment I became certain of that, my eyes spun rapidly.
Why hadn't I anticipated this?
'...Bullshit, how could I have anticipated this?'
It was an energy I couldn't even feel myself.
Whether it was properly contained in my body or if it had disappeared.
I had been agonizing over the fact that I couldn't even check it properly.
The energy currently resonating with So Geomseong.
'Divine Sword...'
It was definitely her energy from when I had faced her in this life.
The energy of hers that I harbored in my body according to my mother's words.
That was resonating with So Geomseong up there right now.
She must be making that expression because she felt it too.
This was a mistake.
'I didn't know it would be like this.'
The fact that energies would resonate with each other was something I hadn't anticipated.
The Nine-Flame Wheel Art was my fundamental power, so I was certain the Demon Lord would feel it, but.
'...Even something like this?'
I really hadn't known that So Geomseong would feel this.
The problem was.
'I can't even hide this.'
Because I didn't know how to handle this Divine Sword energy, I couldn't conceal it.
Thanks to that...
*Thump thump thump—!*
The resonance with her was growing stronger by the moment.
To the point where my head was ringing and I was starting to feel nauseous.
"...To call even that wench. You must truly intend to wage war."
I heard the Demon Lord speak, looking at So Geomseong.
"The one who wants to see blood isn't me, but brats like you. Isn't that right?"
The voice spat out with a twisted smirk felt far more murderous than before.
It felt like he might kill everyone right then and there.
In response, the Celestial Lord simply spoke to the Demon Lord with his hands clasped behind his back.
"I say again, we have come to negotiate."
"If you keep spouting such bullshit, I will rip out your tongue right here and now."
*Rrrr-crack.*
The ground where the Demon Lord stood split apart with a loud noise.
Shallow flames could be seen rising from the cracked earth.
"This is perfect. That incompetent wench has come as well, so I can kill you both right here."
Bullshit.
As if he had any intention of killing them.
He was obviously racking his brains on how to send them back.
*Thump...*
'Ngh.'
The resonance felt near my dantian was growing increasingly severe.
Then, I felt someone approach and place a hand on my back.
The internal energy in my body began to circulate.
The resonance persisted, but it felt somewhat better?
I looked toward the sudden sensation and saw that the Demonic Sword Empress had approached me at some point and was touching my back.
The Demonic Sword Empress looked at me and asked.
"...Are you okay...?"
"...Th... thank you."
I was startled.
I had to look at the Demonic Sword Empress with eyes of surprise without realizing it.
Why would someone who loathed touching others do such a thing?
Thanks to her, I felt like I'd survive, which was a relief, but I couldn't help being bewildered.
While I was barely managing to clear my head with the Demonic Sword Empress's help.
*Shiii—!*
So Geomseong, who had been floating in the sky, gradually descended toward the ground.
"..."
Seeing her up close, it was even more apparent.
That the person before me was the same her from back then.
With a beauty that didn't pale even when compared to the Demonic Sword Empress.
She was a woman who radiated dazzling blonde hair and an exotic atmosphere.
Far more mature than Wi Seol-ah, whom I had met after my regression, including her fully bloomed appearance.
An endlessly settled aura emanated from her.
"...Demon Lord."
Having lightly descended to the ground, So Geomseong opened her mouth, looking at the Demon Lord.
Upon confirming that, the Demon Lord raised his fighting spirit with a growl.
"You must not value your life. To appear here of your own accord."
"...We do not wish to fight."
"Dragging this much force behind you, yet you don't wish to fight? I don't suppose you're saying that expecting me to believe it."
"..."
"Rather, be honest and say you want war. Then I shall oblige you with all my heart."
"...As the Celestial Lord said, we wish to negotiate with you—"
*Kugugugu—!*
Before So Geomseong could finish her words, a massive flame shot forth from the Demon Lord.
So Geomseong's sword, floating in the air, plunged toward the flames.
Afterward, just as before, the flames were extinguished.
As it was black flame mixed with demonic energy, her demon-expelling power must have erased it.
In the gap where So Geomseong frowned at the sudden attack.
The Demon Lord spoke toward her.
"You are still deluded."
The flames did not cease and burned brilliantly along the Demon Lord's body.
"Do you brats still believe this can be resolved through dialogue?"
At the Demon Lord's action, the demonic figures immediately unleashed their demonic energy.
"I thought I had burned down all the flower gardens growing in your heads long ago. It seems some still remain."
"...Demon Lord."
So Geomseong bit her lip.
Even amidst this, I felt her gaze shifting toward me occasionally.
"If you desire something, try taking—"
"...We will return Noea."
The Demon Lord's body, which had been about to leap into action, froze at So Geomseong's words.
I, too, faltered at this.
Of course, I faltered for a different reason.
'Noea...?'
Hearing those words, I looked at the Demonic Sword Empress.
The Demonic Sword Empress was openly displaying displeasure at So Geomseong's words.
Looking at that expression, it seemed Noea really was with them.
'What... what does that mean?'
I felt my heart begin to race at this fact.
And rightfully so.
Because in my memories, the Demonic Sword Empress's Noea had never once left her hand.