What is this hand.
Is it truly Father's hand?
Then why is it above my head?
Had something broken? My head wasn't working properly.
The unexpected situation played a part, but more because I knew what my hands had just done.
The more I thought of it, the more my breathing grew ragged and my head began to spin.
Just as I gradually grasped the reality and my heart began to sink with a cold chill.
—I recalled the answer.
Father spoke to me.
-‘I have thought on it continuously, yet no words truly resonate.’
-‘What do you mean, all of a sudden...’
-‘A son.’
My eyes widened at Father's words.
-‘What are you to me? The answer to that is solely this.’
A question asking what I had been to him.
And he was giving me the answer to it now...?
-‘Please stay still. For now...’
-‘I forgive you.’
I flinched at his words. Forgive me—for what...?
-‘That you sought to make a father's hand harm his own child. I forgive you for this.’
-...
I bit my lip tightly at the sound of his voice.
Just how long had he known my intent?
Where had he noticed it? Just as I failed to steady my trembling eyes.
Father continued speaking.
-‘I forgive you. But you—do not forgive me.’
-‘Now... of all times, is that what you should say?’
A coarse hand stroked my hair. It was a rough, awkward touch.
I wanted to brush it off that very instant.
Yet, pathetically, I could not.
-‘You did well. Not bad.’
A voice as coarse as his touch pierced my ears.
-‘Third.’
-‘...Yes...?’
-‘I ask you. Did the First leave with a smile?’
-...
At the question concerning Guhuibi, words failed me.
-‘...I don't... I don't know.’
I wasn't avoiding the answer. I truly couldn't remember.
The expression Guhuibi had worn at the end. What was Guhuibi doing...?
-‘I see.’
At my answer, Father nodded quietly.
-‘Then. Remember these words.’
Father's crimson pupils gradually began to return to black.
His hair, rather than turning black from its red, was instead turning white.
This was evidence that his vitality was dispersing.
Seeing that, I wanted to say something, anything, but I already knew. That it was too late.
-‘Live.’
-...!
Hearing those words, my heart dropped with a thud.
-‘Fath...’
I called out to him urgently, but.
-...
Father had already breathed his last.
Without bending his knees in the slightest. Standing on both legs just as he had from the start.
Thus did Father meet his death.
Seeing that, it was I who fell to my knees instead.
-‘Ah...’
Something had gone wrong.
This wasn't how it was meant to be.
I felt like tearing out my own heart and dying on the spot.
Yet I could not.
-‘Live.’
Because the words Father had left behind already bound me like shackles.
Why had he said such words? Was it so that I might live and atone?
If not... then just why had he said such words to me?
I crouched, covering my face with both hands.
I neither shouted nor wailed.
I merely breathed heavily in silence.
How long had I remained there like that?
Tap-
A presence was felt from behind.
-‘...What is this...’
Someone who checked the situation let out words in surprise.
It was Mageomhu.
As if she had run here, she approached me with ragged breath and asked.
-‘Are... you okay?’
I was not okay.
Not one bit.
-‘Why... the Cult Leader clearly told you... not to go...’
She was right.
Cheonma had specifically told me not to head to Guga.
Yet I had come here alone.
And in the end, it had come to this.
When I said nothing, Mageomhu looked around and spoke in an urgent voice.
-‘First... we have to get away... soon... people will come.’
Mageomhu grabbed my shoulder and pulled.
I wanted to stay collapsed like this.
My internal energy was completely depleted, and my body, exhausted from battle, would not obey my will.
-‘Let go... just leave me like this...’
Hearing my words spat out in exhaustion, Mageomhu sealed my acupoints and bound me.
-‘...!’
-‘Sorry... but this won't do.’
My weakened body could not undo Mageomhu's acupoint seal.
And so I had to be carried by her to escape the area.
Even as we moved swiftly.
My eyes held onto the image of Father.
Until he grew distant and could no longer be seen.
******************
I killed Father.
Even now, the memory of that time was still vivid.
‘...Damn it all.’
This was the reason I hadn't been able to easily resent my father in this life.
And the reason why, every time I looked into his eyes, I was consumed by guilt alongside fear.
How could I forget?
The sensation I had felt in my hands then was still so clear.
Perhaps because the memory from that time had surfaced, my breathing began to grow rough.
To calm myself, I tried to circulate my internal energy, but even that was not easy.
Seeing that, Father looked at me with a peculiar expression.
They overlapped.
Father's hair, which had turned a snowy white.
His appearance from that time, when his eyes were returning to black instead of their current crimson.
“Why do you look so?”
“No... it's nothing.”
Perhaps because of the memory that had just surfaced, it was somewhat difficult to meet Father's eyes.
I shook my head, trying to erase it.
“...I understand what you are saying, but even so, I must know.”
These circumstances, and Father's sudden apology as well.
They were stories I had never known, so I was endlessly confused, but.
That was not the main issue now.
“Please... can't you just tell me?”
“...”
As if deliberating over what to do in this situation.
He stopped still and fell into thought.
And before long, he gave me an answer.
“Very well. I shall tell you.”
“...!”
Just as my face began to brighten.
“However, there is a condition.”
“A condition?”
Condition. I faltered at the word Father spoke.
But it was fine. In any case, he had said he would tell me.
“No matter what the condition is, I will...”
“Fight me and win.”
“Excuse me?”
I must have heard wrong...?
Wondering if it might be a joke, I carefully studied Father's face.
But as always, his gaze was serious.
“You mean... you want me to fight the Patriarch and win?”
“Yes.”
“Me?”
“Yes.”
I asked once more, but Father's gaze remained the same.
Having confirmed that far, I immediately had to make a hollow expression.
“Why don't you just say you don't want to tell me?”
“I said as much from the start.”
“...”
He had a point.
No, I had nearly been swept along by Father's words without realizing it.
“Still, you should set a condition I can actually do. What kind of...”
“Are you anticipating defeat from the outset? Rather disappointing...”
“Yes. You said that even though it's obvious I can't win. That's low.”
“...”
“...”
Perhaps because my temper had flared, without realizing it, I ended up speaking comfortably to Father just as I did with others.
Am I fucked?
It was a manner of speaking I had never shown Father before.
Thanks to that, one of Father's eyebrows twitched.
He seemed greatly displeased.
At this rate, it felt like my request would truly go up in smoke.
“I'm sorry. I didn't mean to...”
“Since you find it so disagreeable. I shall change the condition slightly.”
Just as I hurriedly tried to apologize, remarkably, Father indicated he would change his words.
Why...? I was glad I wasn't scolded and that he let it slide, but...
“Just once.”
“...!”
“If your attack reaches me even once. I shall tell you.”
“Once... you say?”
“Yes, a single strike. If you cannot manage even that, I will not tell you where your mother is. And even if you find out on your own, I will stop you by whatever means.”
“Not telling me is one thing. But blocking me even if I find out on my own—isn't that too much?”
I frowned at the incomprehensible words, but Father cut me off decisively.
“If you cannot do even this. You will die there.”
“...”
“There will be no further negotiation. If you do not like it, turn back.”
I didn't know what place it was that Father blocked me from so adamantly.
But what lay within those words was ‘worry.’
Perhaps because of the conversation I had just had with Father.
For some reason, I felt that was the case.
I felt a somewhat cringeworthy sensation without quite knowing why.
But I didn't hate it enough to die over it.
Suppressing my emotions with effort, I asked Father.
“Then does that mean you wish to spar here, now?”
At the question, Father nodded. Seeing that, I had to add follow-up words in bewilderment.
“I just had a duel with the Baekcheongeomju earlier. I don't have much strength left.”
“I know.”
“And you still want to do this?”
“Do you not wish to?”
“...Of course I don't.”
Just as I was about to say of course I didn't want to.
I recalled the words Father had spoken just now.
-‘There will be no further negotiation. If you do not like it, turn back.’
“...”
So in simple terms. If you've got a problem with it, don't do it. I don't have to.
Isn't that what this means?
Ha.
Absurd.
‘Our father... is a more shameless man than I thought.’
I didn't like a single one of the conditions.
Since it seemed I wouldn't back down easily, he had set some condition at least.
Yet even that condition was not easy to fulfill.
I couldn't gauge how strong Father was right now.
What mattered was that I couldn't see it at all.
Meaning he was so strong I couldn't comprehend it. Even now, having reached the Transcendent Realm.
The fact that I couldn't see Father's power.
Just what level could he be at?
‘You want me to land a blow on such a Father?’
Ridiculous.
Truly absurd words.
As I looked at Father with a blank expression.
Father spoke to me.
“Will you not do it? Then go back.”
He was even provoking me now.
At this point, honestly, I wondered if he just wanted to spar with me.
Besides.
I clearly knew there was no chance of winning.
“...No.”
Since he was going that far.
I didn't want to run away either.
“I will do it. Right now.”