As she continued eating under the stinging gazes, she began to worry that she might have made him wait too long. The moment she turned to tell him he could go first, a small yogurt drink was placed on her tray.
“You weren't stealing glances to ask for that, were you?”
“I wasn't.”
“Even if you weren't, drink it. You have to eat a lot to grow tall and strong.”
*I'm already all grown up.* That was what Ugyeong wanted to say at that moment. She hadn't grown a single centimeter since the first year of middle school, so what was he talking about? Who was he teasing? You drink it.
“You can go around selling my name.”
Ugyeong, her face sullen and lips pursed, shot her eyes upward. He unfolded the arm that had been propping his chin, cracked his stiff neck from side to side, and looked down at her languidly.
“If anyone bullies you, sell my name.”
“If I do?”
“You won't get hurt.”
“What do you get out of it if I sell your name, oppa?”
“Eating with you?”
“Is that... a good thing?”
“I like it. Don't you?”
He smirked and added that they should go if she was done eating, then picked up both trays and stood. Ugyeong hurriedly clutched the yogurt placed in front of her.
“So it is a good thing.”
Taeheon turned around with a bright smile. *That's not what I meant.* Ugyeong muttered a feeble excuse and quickly stowed the yogurt he had given her into her pocket.
In the meantime, Taeheon, having finished clearing the trays, gestured with his eyes for them to go.
“Yes,” Ugyeong answered in a cowering voice, then sighed deeply beside him. It wasn't indigestion, but something felt lodged, and the area around her chest throbbed with pain. When she raised her hand and placed it on her chest, *thump-thump*, her palm reverberated at a rapid pace.
“Why.”
His face, turned to ask what was wrong, was quite close. She naturally stepped back, yet the shadow cast on the ground quickly drew near. Whether he had approached or she had unconsciously stepped closer.
* * *
Contrary to his words to come find him if she was bored, he instead began to linger around her more often. There were times he wandered the corridor as if patrolling, and times he spent the entire break in front of her classroom before returning.
During lunch, he would openly come find her and ask to eat together. And they always ate at the same spot. It was as if word had spread that it was his designated seat; not a single person tried to sit there. Thanks to that, she could eat comfortably without the hassle of looking for an empty seat.
The direction they sat was always the same, too. If she ever tried to sit across from him, Taeheon would frown and show his displeasure. Ugyeong had no choice but to sit pressed right up beside him. Since they sat side by side, their arms often brushed, and each time, she was the one who tensed up and shrank away.
“What are you doing? Not going home?”
Ugyeong, who had stayed behind alone to pack her bag, turned her eyes toward the sound of footsteps. Taeheon, whom she had run into who knew how many times just today, was approaching.
“I'm about to leave now.”
“I'll take you home. Let's go by car.”
“It's fine. I can take the bus.”
“Get in.”
“Uh, no...”
Before she could finish her sentence, Taeheon snatched her bag from her, slung it over one shoulder, and gestured toward the classroom door to hurry up and go. Ugyeong watched him walking away and let out a quiet sigh.
It was true that school life had become easier since getting to know him, but correspondingly, she was on edge at his every action and word. Just like right now. When he acted willfully under the pretext of providing kindness and convenience, she didn't know how to react.
She knew he was treating her well because she was an outcast, because she was a bit pitiful. Yet she had hoped it was a different feeling. So the discomfort was with her own heart. Her own heart that failed to know its place and harbored greater expectations.
“Ah.”
Her mind, which had been walking absentmindedly, snapped back after she bumped her face into his broad back.
Before she could touch her hurting nose and stepped back, Taeheon, who had been approaching to ask if she was okay, paused. He quickly withdrew the hand he had stretched into the air and motioned toward the car parked beside them.
“It's your first time riding my car, right? But I'm a good driver, so don't worry.”
What entered her vision was a black luxury sedan parked in the lot. She was ignorant about cars except for the objective information that they were four-wheeled means of transportation, but she could instinctively tell that this car was special in many ways. Above all, it suited his image well.
Even so, he was at an age too young to own an expensive car. Unless he had parents who spared no financial support.
“Not getting in?”
He was a well-meaning person. Whatever their first meeting had been like, everything she had seen of him so far had been consistently kind and affectionate. Was it goodwill born from a wealthy family environment? Was that the reason he was always so composed, no matter when or what the situation?
A thought crossed her mind that perhaps she had been drawn to him because he lived in a different world than hers. That she envied the material abundance and relaxed mindset she couldn't have, and that was why she had admired him.
“I'll get in.”
She got into the car readily.
After closing the door for her and returning to the driver's seat, he loosened his school uniform jacket and tie and threw them into the back seat. Next, he undid two buttons of his shirt that were tight around his neck. As her gaze followed those movements, routine and familiar, her eyes met his.
“What. Is it weird?”
“No. You just seem like an adult.”
“I am an adult, of course.”
“Yes. You're right.”
“How dull. Aren't you an adult too?”
“Ah, I suppose so.”
Ugyeong let out a hollow laugh. And she thought. *I wonder what it feels like to have lived a little more.* She wanted to ask if the world looked different, too.
Whether the time he had experienced was hopeful, or despairing.
“Will you take me home?”
“Probably.”
“Then could we go around here and there? I want to go in very slowly.”
Having finished speaking, she turned her head and gazed into the distance. Suffocating scenes flickered before her slowly closing and opening eyes. They were nothing but afterimages, yet she had the illusion of smelling a sewer stench. Feeling as though her body was being dirtied even while riding in a nice car, she squeezed her eyes shut.
It was then that the headrest was pressed down.
“...”
She snapped her eyelids open, flinched upon discovering his arm in her field of vision, and tried to tilt her head back to gauge the situation when a face suddenly loomed close. Having easily imagined what came next, she hastily held her breath. A sharp shriek rang in her head.
“Wh-what is this? Did you ask me to get in the car for this? Did you treat me well all this time for this? Coming to ask me to eat, pretending I was an outcast to win my favor—it was all for this purpose, wasn't it? For this!”
Her breath was suddenly cut off. Her body stiffened and goosebumps rose all over her skin. She urgently reached out to find the door handle.
“Uh, how do you do it? I want to get out. Please open the door first. Quickly...”
“The belt.”
“...”
She, who had been searching for the door handle with blurred eyes, paused and froze. What had obliquely brushed past her vision was unmistakably a seatbelt.
*Click*—the sound of it fastening rang clearly in her ears.
“We can't leave until you fasten your seatbelt.”
Her trembling heart plummeted with a thud. Her body, which had been trembling from terror and betrayal, cooled as if ice water had been poured over it. Then, an unpleasant burning sensation rapidly surged up from her toes. Overcome with embarrassment spreading all the way to the crown of her head, she couldn't move. She wanted to just turn into a handful of ash and disappear.
“I won't talk to you because I know you're embarrassed. Talk to me when you feel better.”
“...”
“As you said, I'll take you home slowly. We'll take a spin around the nearby area first, and if you think of anywhere you want to go, you can tell me.”
As if it were no big deal, as if it didn't matter either way. Having spoken indifferently, he gazed at her, who was shrinking endlessly, for a few seconds before withdrawing his gaze.
* * *
The sky, which had grown dim after sunset, was now beginning to turn black. It was the moment when the streetlights lined at regular intervals shone even brighter.
“Sorry.”
Ugyeong, who had been gazing vacantly at the gently flowing river water, quickly tilted her head up. Taeheon naturally shifted his gaze to look at her.
“Since I was the one who caused it, I thought it was right for me to apologize.”
“No. I'm sorry, I misunderstood. Because I've only taken buses all this time, because I haven't ridden in cars much, because that situation was unfamiliar... I was sensitive. I'm really sorry.”
With a flushed red face, she rattled off disjointed words.
Admitting fault and apologizing was natural yet difficult. Unlike her, whose heart grew heavier and hesitated as time passed, Taeheon was quick to acknowledge it. When you thought about it, he had simply been trying to fasten her seatbelt and received a misunderstanding.
“Yeah, you're sensitive.”
When he affirmed it without a moment's hesitation, she became even more sulky. She found it ridiculous that she acted like someone who had been deeply hurt after arbitrarily doubting and misunderstanding him.
“You have a lot of doubts and high vigilance. I can't even guess what you're thinking. That's why you caught my attention. I wanted to treat you well. I can't say for sure that I'm a good guy, but I didn't want to be a bad person to you.”
“I'm sorry for making you worry. But honestly, I still don't really understand. Why you're treating me well, whether it was just because you felt sorry for me.”
“Why would you be pitiful?”
He shot back in a cold voice. Ugyeong slowly raised her head and stared at his expressionless face.
“Haven't you heard the rumors about me?”
“Yeah. I haven't, and I have no interest in baseless rumors. Don't listen to what others say, and don't be swayed by pointless words. Why pour your emotions into such rumors? You don't have to explain them one by one; as long as you have a clear conscience, that's enough.”
His cold and firm tone rebuked her heart, which had been swaying in disarray. In that moment, a thrilling shiver enveloped her entire body.
“Yes, you're right. I have a clear conscience. Those people are the bad ones; I've never done anything bad.”
“I believe you. I'll believe in you.”
“You believe me?”
Tears instantly welled up in her eyes.
“Yeah. I believe you.”
“...It's the first time.”
An emotion surged up so intensely that her throat tightened, making it hard to speak.
He was truly a strange person. He had suddenly appeared one day, talked to her, looked at her, and now he had even given her trust.
There were times when he seemed like such an outstanding person that she felt small and shabby standing beside him, but right now it felt as if they had become equals. Because there was someone who believed in her, someone who looked at her with an upright gaze. Of course, he was “that” person, but.
“Want to get chicken before we go?”
“Here?”
“This place is famous for it.”
At his words as he gestured with his eyes toward somewhere outside the window, she quickly nodded. Thanks to that, the tears were drawn back in.