Gim Jaehui explained that if you walked down the elevator along the promenade, you would reach the beach immediately. Thinking that there might be people who had escaped from the underwater base, we headed that way, but the downhill path was harder than the uphill. With no strength in my legs, trying to walk downward made me feel as though I would trip or collapse if I let my attention wander for even a moment.
Should I just go limp and roll down instead? Then I’d arrive in tatters, wouldn’t I?
Unlike me, who had lost half my will to survive due to sheer lack of stamina, Gim Jaehui poured out an endless stream of questions, seemingly full of curiosity. Even though I wanted to avoid them, we were walking with our arms around each other’s shoulders, supporting one another, so I couldn’t escape. The person who had claimed they crawled up the stairs with difficulty was apparently all talk, chattering incessantly without a moment’s rest.
“Among the people you met at the underwater base, who did you like the most?”
“Someone I liked… *Huff. Huff.* There were too many.”
Come to think of it, there had been surprisingly many. I wanted to pack every single one of them into my backpack and take them back to Korea.
…Who would have thought Daehando was this big? It had looked quite small when I joined and came up by helicopter.
“Then among the people you met at the underwater base, who did you dislike the most?”
“Someone… I disliked. *Huff.* There are… far too many of those too. First of all… the people who joined the Muhan Church.”
Can’t you tell by looking at the state I’m in right now? Leave the church. As I said this while looking at Gim Jaehui, they answered with a brazen face.
“That’s too much. You’re criticizing a religion your friend joined without any understanding or respect.”
“I believe I have the right to do so.”
The reason I’m suffering like this right now is because of the Muhan Church. Give me back my fingers. I’ll appear in your dreams for the rest of your life and torment you.
Gim Jaehui was bombarding me with all sorts of strange questions, starting with my blood type and birthday, to family relations, favorite plants and fruits, and zodiac signs, and I only answered intermittently to keep from passing out while walking. Sensing that my answers were growing increasingly half-hearted, Gim Jaehui let out a sigh and shook my arm draped over their shoulder.
“Muhyeon-ssi. You look like you’re struggling terribly. It’s quite pitiful to see a friend so physically weak and having such a hard time.”
I must look very depressed and physically exhausted. The worry of making a living with only my right hand felt as heavy as Mount Tai, and as I wondered what to do, my mind went blank. Nothing came to mind.
Even when I was a dentist, I had been useless outside the dental clinic, but what if I became a useless human even inside the dental clinic now? That’s the problem with specialized professions—it’s hard to switch to another field easily. To think that the life I had set in stone since I was nineteen would be shaken this much right after getting a job at the North Pacific Underwater Base.
…Am I going to starve to death just because I’m missing a few fingers on my left hand? It’s fine. I can do it. Even if I can’t earn money right away, my family won’t starve. If you have no teeth, you live on your gums… no, you can’t, you have to get implants.
Even if I switched to a completely different field, I would be fine. Because I live diligently. People much younger than me live boldly without fear. I won’t collapse because of something like today. I patted myself on the back mentally a few times. I’ll probably have to keep patting myself on the back as I go on living.
“…To think that you would say that, Jaehui-ssi. My condition must be quite serious. It’s because I have many worries. I’ll be fine soon.”
“If you’re truly having a hard time, there is one good way to break through this situation.”
“What is it?”
I asked with brightened eyes, wondering if some finger regeneration technology I didn’t know about had been developed, or if Gim Jaehui secretly owned several hospitals.
“If you die, your body returns to its original state. If you haven’t experienced too many miracles, it’s not a bad method either.”
Gim Jaehui, who had been grinning, looked at my soul-leaving-my-body expression for about three seconds, then spoke with the smile still lingering at the corners of their mouth.
“I’m not joking. I know several ways to die without pain, that’s all. I can help you.”
“…You shouldn’t say such reckless things to a friend.”
“It’s not a method only I have used. It’s a verified method that other Savior candidates have also used when desperate or in emergencies. And the effect is quite good.”
“Let’s not recommend a pseudo-religion’s methods to a friend.”
Dylan, whom I had met in the auditorium, came to mind. Dylan hadn’t suggested anything; he had threatened me as though it were only natural. His voice brimming with confidence and conviction, his attitude of not caring what or how much had to be sacrificed to achieve what one wanted—it had been impressive. The last thing I had seen before losing consciousness was the Muhan Church members, who had been tied up, rising in unison and rushing the people around them. If the leader had attended the prayer ceremony, could that person have been him?
“Jaehui-ssi. How much do you know about the Muhan Church’s leader?”
At my question, Gim Jaehui pondered briefly and spoke.
“Hmm. I don’t know much. I’ve never even seen the leader directly. I’m the lowest of the low. They say he shows up at the large branch in London from time to time. I suppose his house is in England. According to rumors, the leader’s personal assets alone are either 1,000 trillion won or 2,000 trillion won? I only know that he’s a very, very wealthy man. They say he owns several gemstone mines too. I don’t know the details. It’s not like I’ve seen his real estate contracts. I just picked up things here and there and read the magazines they publish.”
Hadn’t they said the nations included in this North Pacific Underwater Base had to pay a mandatory annual fee of 1 trillion won? Is it okay for a single individual to have that much money?
“They say the leader used to distribute gemstones to believers every year as a modest gesture. He gave opals from Australian opal mines as gifts to believers, and I’ve heard he also gave Zambian emeralds as presents. Last year, he handed out rubies mined from Myanmar ruby mines, one for every believer. I received one by parcel too.”
Gim Jaehui flicked one of the piercings dangling from their ear with a fingertip. The piercing struck by the nail made a small ticking sound.
“They say you can use the gems when making wishes, or sell them if you need money. There were probably quite a few people who sold them for living expenses. But these colored stones don’t fetch a good price. It’s common for believers to wear precious metals with stories behind them. Now that I think about it, I understand why he gave them every year. Among those who joined the Muhan Church, there must be people who couldn’t even afford raw gemstones.”
A pseudo-religious leader who gives gems to his believers. It wouldn’t have been hard to gather terrorists.
“Also… according to people who have seen the leader directly, he’s an extremely handsome man, but Westerners are the type to carry ‘handsome,’ ‘beautiful,’ and ‘perfect’ on their tongues and shout them even if someone is only slightly good-looking, so I’m not sure if that’s true.”
Gim Jaehui, who had stopped speaking mid-sentence, looked at me walking with difficulty and asked.
“Why are you suddenly curious about the leader?”
“Because I need to know the details in order to curse him specifically.”
Gim Jaehui nodded slightly, then continued after some thought.
“…He doesn’t reveal himself much at official events. Rather, the Savior candidates traveled around branches in various countries. Now that I think about it, he probably used the Savior candidates as his public face instead of revealing himself. When someone like Elizabeth appears, everyone’s gaze goes to her. Visually, she’s almost overwhelming. Most people probably haven’t seen the leader. I’ve heard he almost never voices opinions either. They say he wears a large family ring. I did meet some believers while taking the elevator today, but I don’t think I saw it among them.”
Gim Jaehui told me the absurd rumors spreading within the Muhan Church—that the leader ate gemstones for all three meals and defecated gold, or that he had already gone to the past hundreds of times and was a white-haired old man. Listening to Gim Jaehui’s tone and the occasional personal opinions mixed in, there wasn’t a single positive evaluation of the leader.
Don’t people usually try to explain their own organization in at least a somewhat decent light when talking to outsiders? When I was held hostage by Sin Haeryang, Joseph had tried so hard to explain the Muhan Church positively to me.
“It seems Jaehui-ssi didn’t like the Muhan Church’s leader.”
“Yes. I know my situation well. I’m a wage laborer who picks up and eats the scraps left behind by capitalist pigs. I clung like a bedbug to a religion that the leader probably thinks of as a trivial toy, trying to pack even a little salvation into my own pocket.”
“I see. You don’t have any thoughts of leaving the church?”
“Like Muhyeon-ssi’s future plans, I need to think deeply about it too.”
“It’s a pseudo-religion that carried out terrorism on the underwater base, though.”
“Muhyeon-ssi, you seem like you don’t have a religion. Am I right?”
I don’t know what part of me looks like an atheist. Yes. I hope I keep looking that way.
“Yes!”
Hearing my voice full of conviction, Gim Jaehui looked at my face briefly and spoke.
“Religion isn’t something you can throw away easily and simply. Do you know how holy and sublime my faith is? I believed for several years in the Muhan Church that I would be saved, so it’s hard to discard that all at once. My faith is as strong as duralumin and as vast as a spaceship. I can offer all of that to the Savior.”
“If a scientist with no ties to the Muhan Church put you in a time machine and sent you to whatever past you desired, on the condition that you abandon the Muhan Church?”
“…Pseudo-religions are one of the brainwashing methods that delude people with lies. Why do you think the word ‘conversion’ exists in this world?”
Good. If I force Gim Jaehui to study physics, they might cut ties with the illusory Muhan Church and learn to compromise with the somewhat miserable reality of life.
The ground, which had been well compacted with dirt, gradually became mixed with sand, and trees blocked our path ahead like walls. In the distance, Daehando Beach was visible. The seawater surged as it flowed in toward Daehando Island and then receded again. As if everything that had happened underwater and on land had nothing to do with it, the seawater moved indifferently. I understood why people recommended going to Daehando Beach on weekends. Daehando Beach was dazzlingly beautiful. I wanted to forget all my worries and just stare at the beach. Without knowing how time passed. Forever, right there.
However, from far off on the beach, black smoke occasionally rose as if boats and yachts were burning, and depending on the wind direction, the smell of burning drifted this way before heading elsewhere. Beyond the beach, at the distant shore, escape boats were deployed, and people could be seen sitting in them.
Around the beach, several private parasols and tents had been set up, but near them, people had collapsed, bleeding. I wanted to run, but lacking stamina, I slowly walked across the sandy shore and approached.