Listening absentmindedly to Kim Jaehee's explanation, it sounded less like an altar for a pseudo-religious cult and more like preparations for a Christmas party.
"We'll wrap the surroundings and cover the walls with dark, heavy fabric to create a weighty, solemn visual effect. And we'll mainly place fresh, clean food and fruits on the altar, and separately prepare blood and raw offerings, neatly and prettily arranged—I think it would be better to use wooden vessels rather than earthenware bowls like those. We'll play soft music that won't get tiresome even after a long time, and we must burn incense without pause, and it might be good to install lighting so that everyone's gaze is drawn inevitably toward the altar. And rather than holding it in a warm, humid garden like this, how about a dry, slightly cool place where one naturally feels tension just by standing still?"
I nodded mechanically in response to Kim Jaehee's question and answered.
"...I think it would be fine if the blood and offerings were left out of your plan, Jaehee ssi. It would be better if we prepared a few bottles of drinks, some games to play together, or a video to watch. People relax in warm places, so a warm spot is better than a cool one."
"I thought you wouldn't care for that altar either, Savior. I suppose such a clean, refined, and rather plain, unremarkable altar must be to Jamal's taste. If it were to Ronald's taste, it might have been rustic, but certainly more extravagant."
We were speaking the same language, yet we couldn't communicate at all. No matter how much I thought about it, I just wasn't compatible with talking to a cultist. Why on earth do they even build altars like this?
"What is an altar like that used for?"
"The purpose of an altar is to offer sacrifice upon it with offerings to see how much joy you can bring the Absolute. You must present something that the god will receive and find satisfying. But it must be something valuable and precious to the believers. Because that means so much devotion and sacrifice has been put into it. In the old days, they offered many livestock as sacrifices on altars. In an era when livestock was precious, offering livestock as sacrifice meant a very great sacrifice. They were important property, and since people grew up alongside their animals, livestock were like family. By offering something of that much value, you show gratitude and devotion to the other party. You demonstrate, through external worth, that we worship and revere you this much."
As befitting a believer who had personally joined and traveled among various existing cults, he explained in great detail. I don't get why they like offering living things so much. Wouldn't money be better?
"Is it enough to just offer livestock?"
"Livestock is popular. With gods, and with believers alike. In the past, many unblemished male animals were sacrificed on altars. But in this modern society, what is valuable and precious to believers while also pleasing the Absolute? Should I just offer cattle, sheep, or goats like in the old days? If I buy a sheep for less than three hundred thousand won and roast it whole as an offering, would I be making the same kind of devotion as the ancients? Hmm. The ranch owner would be pleased, and my bank account would take a hit. But would I truly grieve and feel sorrow over that one sheep's death? Would it be an enormously precious and valuable sacrifice? Muhyeon ssi, what would you think if you were that Absolute?"
Having asked one wrong question only to have it turned back on me by Kim Jaehee, I hesitated for a moment. Black fluids dripped down from the ceiling in circles. Drip-drip-drip-drip-drip. I heard the small sound of water falling.
"Well. If it were me, I don't think I'd be very happy to suddenly receive a whole roasted sheep."
"Then what about the most expensive jewels in the world and rare, hard-to-find flowers? Just as in the past, even now gems are made from labor power, like money—squeezed and poured out from believers' time and lives."
"...I used to think having a lot of money was important, but not anymore."
My values had shifted slightly after dying a few times in this undersea base. I wanted to say I'd rather just pay money to get out of here.
Jewels? I wouldn't mind receiving them after getting out of the ocean, but I didn't want to take anything from Infinite Church believers. When I thought back to walking on flowers while forced to wear jewels dangling from my head, neck, arms, and fingers, I'd rather have had nothing at all.
"What about foods so delicious they seem to melt on your tongue, that make you happy just by eating them?"
"No matter how much food there is, the amount I can eat is limited. If I couldn't eat it all, I'd feel like I should share it with others. I have no desire to be greedier than that."
Could I even eat anything here with peace of mind in the first place? I felt more at ease eating sugar-free candy I'd brought from Korea or sharing meager amounts of food with people in a difficult environment. Kim Jaehee asked another question.
"There are quite a few beauties among the believers. There might be someone to your taste."
Since jewels and food weren't working, he was resorting to all sorts of strange questions. I was so dumbfounded by Kim Jaehee's question that I could only laugh.
"If there's someone I like, would you introduce me?"
"Even without my introduction, if you but speak, Savior, anyone would throw themselves at your feet."
Ha. Disgusting. These cult bastards. I shook my head rapidly from side to side.
"I just want to get out of this undersea base safely. You can consider my other desires to be nonexistent."
"Wouldn't that be a bit of a shame? You're going to die many more times in the future, Savior—if there isn't a single interesting thing left in your remaining life."
It seemed even Kim Jaehee thought escaping without dying in this cycle was impossible. I let out a deep sigh. Anxiety swept through my body with the desire to live. The simple instinct to be safe boiled up in my mind. The urge to evacuate anywhere right now, the anxiety of not knowing where to evacuate to, and the resigned, fatalistic mindset of "let whatever happens happen" due to the little time remaining shook my mind together with fear. What more could I even do anymore? I tried not to look at the ceiling or floor, which could collapse at any moment.
On the other side of the altar, a large orange tree was visible. From afar, the fruit truly looked like it was made of gold. Kim Jaehee approached the orange tree, so I looked around and slowly followed.
The lower branches of the orange tree were almost bare, perhaps because many people had already picked the oranges. Below, a wooden sign read [Please Do Not Pick the Oranges], but Kim Jaehee climbed about three meters up the tree with both arms and his prosthetic leg, plucked an orange, and landed. Then, pressing the fruit into my hand, he spoke.
"This orange is today's prize, Savior. ......Tell me. Is it possible for me to return to the past?"
I held Kim Jaehee's hand along with the orange and shook my head as I spoke.
"I think it's impossible."
"Countless people joined this Infinite Church believing only in that."
"Even if all the water in the North Pacific were to dry up, I would still think it impossible. Jaehee ssi. Get out to Daehan Island even now. You must escape this terrible loop, even now."
Kim Jaehee placed the orange on my palm and looked at me as he spoke.
"Honestly, Muhyeon ssi, your kind acts were a bit... tedious to me inside. Trying to take responsibility when you don't even have the ability, spouting lines from a morality textbook. Someone as broken as me would probably laugh at your actions, or hope that you become thoroughly broken too."
"...Huh?"
"But on the other hand, I'm curious how far you can go. Today, you helped countless people escape outside the undersea base, didn't you? I would have just excitedly watched my coworkers flounder and die."
"......"
"This is a secret I'm telling only to you, Muhyeon ssi. The Kim Jaehee who is an Infinite Church believer in other cycles would never tell you this. ......The Infinite Church needs a flawless offering."
His voice was so low that I asked again.
"...Huh?"
The orange was so golden it could have been called a golden apple, clean and perfectly round without a single blemish. I didn't know what to say. It was because of the look in Kim Jaehee's eyes as he gazed at me—eyes that told me he wasn't talking about cattle, sheep, or goats. He looked like a butcher looking at a cow that had entered the slaughterhouse, or like a Roman spectator watching someone thrown into the Colosseum.
"This religion called the Infinite Church requires a special sacrifice for the immortal serpent. We laid flowers on the altar, but its contents are empty, as you already know from having seen it with me."
"So. Jaehee ssi... you're staring at me like that, but surely you don't mean I'm suitable as a sacrifice?"
"No matter how much I think about it, there's no one but you, Muhyeon ssi. That's how it looks to me today."
A cultist was telling me I was the sacrifice—what else could I do but deny it?
"I don't know how a sacrifice is chosen, but then I think I'd be disqualified. I don't really want to talk about it, but I was in a major accident and have quite a few surgical scars. If you look at my back and waist, you won't think I'm a flawless offering at all. My eyes aren't even in perfect shape."
I never would have thought that the shortcomings I usually lamented could become advantages at a time like this. Kim Jaehee looked at me, smiled, and spoke.
"I'm not talking about physical flaws. In my opinion, existing religions only cared about the physical aspects of sacrifices—if they were pretty, beautiful, and intact on the outside, they were used. Honestly, even if a sheep offered as a sacrifice looks handsome and splendid on the outside, how would you know if it's a crazed serial-killing sheep? So existing religions added the word 'young' before 'unblemished sacrifice.' They said they needed a young, unblemished male offering."
I could roughly understand why the ancients used males as sacrifices. Even if there were fewer males, it wasn't a big problem for forming a herd. Young and unblemished? Look at me. Do I look young?
"Jaehee ssi. I'm not young. My insides are a mess too. I'm not that good a person either. ......There are probably plenty of human males in this undersea base who are healthier than me mentally and physically."
Kim Jaehee only laughed at my words without answering. I'm old enough. The young, unblemished male offering I'd seen inside the undersea base so far was......
Damn it. Now that I think about it, there was a seven-year-old kid. Wouldn't Jeong Sanghyeon also count as a young, unblemished male by age?