Episode 54. Chuseok Holiday (1)
What is a holiday long weekend to a salaryman?
It is an oasis in the desert and a lighthouse upon the sea.
It was like a box of zero cola brought into an empty break room.
Absolute authority that grants the strength to endure once in the first half and once in the second half of the year, while forging the shackles that prevent you from ever quitting.
There had been a time when the long weekend meant exactly that to me, too.
Days when, at the start of each year, I would count how many public holidays there were, desperate to somehow attach my vacation days to the holidays.
A time when even working overtime until the day before a holiday made me happy, thinking, *I get to rest for several days while still getting paid.*
*Just a short while ago, I was working my eyes out making those seventh-anniversary banners, trying to attach vacation days to the Chuseok holiday.*
Suddenly, I felt dizzy.
To think that eight months had already passed since I started this damn trainee life. I could have cried.
“Come to think of it… are you guys going home for the holiday?”
“We each go back to our hometowns for Seollal and Chuseok! We’ll be gone for two nights!”
Lee Cheonghyeon made a V with his fingers.
Hometown. Now that’s festive.
……Wait.
Then would the dorm be empty?
An unexpected crisis.
If I tried to book a room for the holiday now, there wouldn’t be any, or they’d be outrageously expensive.
The 15 million won my sister left me… no.
I couldn’t spend the remaining 14.2 million won, after using 800,000, so futilely.
Oblivious to my flustered state, Lee Cheonghyeon stuck right by my side and asked,
“Where is your hometown, hyung? Mine’s Seoul!”
“Me?”
I don’t know. All the adults in my family ran away in the dead of the night.
“I… want to stay at the dorm.”
“If you get permission from the manager, you can probably stay. But why? Surely not to practice?”
“No, just… I want to rest.”
It was a relief that I could stay at the dorm. Otherwise, I had almost searched all night on lodging apps for an empty room.
Then Lee Cheonghyeon looked around and spoke in a low voice.
“Maybe Juwoo-hyung will stay here, too. He didn’t go home for Seollal, either.”
“Juwoo?”
“Yes. Juwoo-hyung has his own circumstances, so please don’t ask him about it first…!”
Having carefully added that explanation, Lee Cheonghyeon looked around again, as if checking that Park Juwoo wasn’t there.
“Got it. I won’t bring it up first.”
“Thank you. Hah, if you hyungs are staying, should I stay this time too?”
“You said you get vacation twice a year. You want to practice even then?”
“I’ll be back safe and sound, hyungnim.”
With that, Lee Cheonghyeon dashed away.
I had no interest in Park Juwoo’s personal affairs. Even less so if it was about his family.
So I thought I would never end up having a conversation with Park Juwoo about this topic.
Little did I know that in the near future, I would be frying skewer jeon on good terms with Park Juwoo.
* * *
When holidays approached, young employees used to talk about what they would do during their time off.
Employees who were older or married talked more about jesa or charye.
*Setting up the charye table on holidays is torture. I’m already stressed.*
*Does your household observe charye, Team Leader?*
*We do both charye and jesa. It’s utterly exhausting.*
When asked, *What are you doing for the holiday, Deputy Kim?* I tended to answer, *Meeting my sister briefly, then resting at home for the rest.*
Until my sister died.
On the eve of my first Chuseok after my sister’s death, I lay quietly in bed and searched *how to set a charye table.*
Even after turning off my phone and lying down, sleep wouldn’t come.
So I stayed awake until the supermarket opening time and went right when it opened. And I bought plenty of the ingredients I had seen in the search results.
I hadn’t known that memorial food or charye food required so much work.
It was partly because I hadn’t cooked much, but also because my sister’s first death anniversary hadn’t even come yet.
For someone like me, seasoning namul and making skewer jeon were high-difficulty tasks.
The namul wouldn’t keep its color, and the skewer jeon spread wide open so that no matter how much I coated them in egg, the egg would only spread to the sides.
By the time I was frying the donggeurangttaeng, the whole house reeked of oil.
After struggling with heaps of ingredients all day like that, I was able to set a late charye table after the sun had completely set.
Without ritual cups, I took out as many plates as I had at home to set the table, opened a 1.8-liter bottle of cheongju, and poured the alcohol.
“Noona, it’s your first time seeing a charye table set up at our house, right?”
Laughter came naturally. Looking at the misshapen jeon made me laugh twice as hard.
The sight of a charye table without a spirit tablet, piled high with macarons and financiers. How could I not laugh?
“A lot of dessert shops in our neighborhood are closed on holidays. Next time, I should buy macarons in advance.”
So I spent quite a while tearing open individually wrapped dessert plastic.
“I thought you’d be disappointed if you came to eat something tasty and there wasn’t any, so I bought them. If there’s no flavor you like, blame the lineup of macaron shops in this neighborhood. I’m innocent because I bought every kind they sold.”
Even though I was muttering to myself, why did it feel so much like I was talking to my sister?
That day, I built a tower of macarons on our family’s low dining table. The colorful sight was quite a sight to behold.
And after emptying the entire bottle of cheongju, I lay down beside the charye table and fell asleep just like that.
* * *
After setting jesa tables and charye tables three times a year, there was one memorial dish I became incredibly good at making.
On holidays and on the mornings of my sister’s death anniversary, I would wake up at the crack of dawn, go grocery shopping without a list, and cook without looking at recipes.
*Right. Getting used to it is fine.*
Feeling the weight of the bag in my hand, I thought,
*But why am I still doing this…!*
That’s right.
I had traveled back nine years in time. Yet upon waking early on Chuseok and confirming it was the holiday, I had habitually gone to the nearby supermarket and swept ingredients into my cart.
To set a charye table for my sister, who was still alive at this point in time. What kind of unfilial absurdity was this?
By the time I had come to my senses, all the items had already been paid for.
I debated whether to return them, but there were refrigerated goods among the ingredients, and just as Lee Cheonghyeon had said, Park Juwoo was staying at the dorm too, so I decided to use them to get into the holiday spirit and returned with everything.
Noona, sorry.
Think of it as traditional learning to preserve our national identity, rather than a charye table.
“……What is all this?”
“……Supplies for a holiday cooking content video?”
“Cooking content……?”
At my words, Park Juwoo stealthily opened one plastic bag. It contained donggeurangttaeng, frozen pollock, and a bag of flour.
Park Juwoo looked back and forth between the bag and me with a strange expression.
I had no intention of making another verbal slip like last time, about not being able to go to college because I had no money.
Play it cool.
“It’s a holiday, so I thought I’d get into the spirit. I’ll do the cooking, so you rest, Juwoo.”
“No, let’s do it together.”
“Then I’m all for it. Ah, if you hate the smell of oil, I won’t fry any jeon.”
“If we ventilate well, shouldn’t it be fine……?”
“You have a point.”
Thanks to Park Juwoo’s consideration, I could fry dongtae jeon as well. It was off to a smooth start.
While Park Juwoo was beating a carton of eggs, I stir-fried and sautéed the ingredients.
I was wondering if I could quit being an idol and get a side job at a banchan shop with this level of skill, when Park Juwoo finished preparing the flour nicely and called for me.
“I’ll fry the jeon, so can you coat them in flour and egg wash? Wear gloves, and definitely wear a mask. KF94.”
“Why gloves and a mask……?”
“Someone who sings shouldn’t inhale smoke.”
“……You’re a vocalist too, hyung.”
I’m a temporary vocalist, and you’re the main vocalist.
I held out the masks I had bought just in case to Park Juwoo.
Park Juwoo even tore open a mask for me, and so the two of us ended up frying jeon indoors, dutifully wearing masks.
Once I got the hang of it, the skewer jeon came out so beautifully. Good enough to sell.
Watching me place one red chili pepper and one green chili pepper on each donggeurangttaeng, Park Juwoo spoke.
“Hyung, you’re…… really good at cooking.”
“Not really. You can have one if you want. It’s low-sodium.”
“Is it okay to eat before it’s finished?”
“It’s made to be eaten, so who cares. The peppers are only red for color; they’re not spicy.”
I explained the harmlessness of my donggeurangttaeng to Park Juwoo, who liked bland food.
Even though I had bought a pile of jeon ingredients in a daze this morning, I praised myself for not forgetting an idol’s duty and choosing healthy ingredients.
When I took out a small plate and served him one donggeurangttaeng, Park Juwoo waited until the steam stopped rising from it, then carefully took a bite. His eyes widened slightly.
“Is it edible?”
“Hyung, this is delicious……!”
“Have two. It’s made with tofu, so it shouldn’t make you gain as much weight as ones made with meat.”
At my words, Park Juwoo’s expression brightened. I thought he only made that face when talking about rock bands.
Having tasted the donggeurangttaeng, Park Juwoo moved on to sampling the skewer jeon and dongtae jeon.
The dongtae jeon, savory without any salting, and the mini-sized skewer jeon with finely chopped ingredients, both passed the test.
“Do you usually like cooking, hyung?”
Park Juwoo asked while watching me blanch spinach.
“Not at all. I can’t cook anything except memorial food. I do make…… instant noodles well.”
If the former was a dish mastered through focus, the latter was a dish ingrained from eating it too often.
“How did you end up only making these kinds of things……”
Park Juwoo spoke cautiously. He seemed curious, but since the topic happened to be food that goes on memorial tables, he chose his words carefully.
“I just like it. I made some today since I heard you’d be at the dorm, too.”
“I…… see. Thank you.”
“No need. I’m eating it too, so what.”
As I took the blanched spinach out to rinse it in cold water, Park Juwoo called out to me.
“Hyung.”
“What?”
“Hyung…… why didn’t you go home?”