| Episode 33. Pursuit (3)
I Cheonghyeon shot up from his seat in alarm.
‘How did he find me?’
I Cheonghyeon had thought that if he didn’t return home on time, they might come looking for him. That was all he had thought.
But he had never imagined they would actually come to catch him. How did someone track him down in the middle of Seoul without a single call?
What was even scarier was Gim Iwol’s utterly indifferent reaction upon finding him.
‘So you really were here?’
Those words meant that Gim Iwol finding him was no accident. That fact was all the more terrifying.
He desperately wanted to lighten the mood by asking, “Hyung, did you happen to work part-time at a detective agency before becoming a trainee?” at any moment.
But he couldn’t. Because Gim Iwol’s expression as he looked at him was, quite literally, menacing.
The colleague who had come looking for him had possessed an extraordinary aura from the very first time they met.
Whether to call it bleak or coldly aloof, or perhaps a combination of both—looking at that face, from which coldness seemed to stream steadily, one couldn’t help but think, Ah, this hyung is no ordinary man.
When Gim Iwol stood still with a blank expression, he exuded such an oppressive air that no one could easily approach him—save for Choe Jeho.
The fact that Gim Iwol had a bizarre personality so unlike his exterior had only made him somewhat more approachable; facing him one-on-one was no easy feat.
It was to the point that his friend, Gang Giyeong, was admirable for doing voluntary practice with this hyung every day.
For such an I Cheonghyeon, coming face-to-face with Gim Iwol—who had come all the way here, an hour away by bus, because of him—was nearly terrifying.
Himself, who had run away without a word to the company that had even placed him in the debut team.
And the situation awaiting him when he returned, where his pathetic first original composition was being discussed as the debut track.
Everything felt unbearably heavy to I Cheonghyeon. It was like taking an exam that would never end.
So I Cheonghyeon chose to run away just like that, with terrifying thoughts that if caught he would die—thoughts so extreme he would later wonder why he had thought that way when looking back rationally.
“I Cheonghyeon!”
He heard his name called from behind him.
I Cheonghyeon inwardly cried out, I’m sorry, Hyung!
It was an uncharacteristic act, taken without thought for the consequences.
He had forgotten that Gim Iwol, who had the best stamina among the trainees, catching him would be no trouble at all.
I Cheonghyeon, who had recklessly run up the hiking trail, was caught by the forearm at a mountain spring on the mid-slope, just twenty minutes later.
The grip strength twisting his arm was so intense that I Cheonghyeon barely managed to hold back an involuntary yelp.
“Cheonghyeon-ah.”
At the same time, Gim Iwol’s voice sounded from much closer than before.
If there had been urgency in it moments ago, this call was a voice that clearly conveyed only anger—nothing but anger.
It was just as I Cheonghyeon was about to think something like, I’m completely out of breath, yet is he completely fine?
As if the grip from moments ago hadn’t even been at full strength, Gim Iwol tightened his hand on I Cheonghyeon’s arm and asked,
“Do you think being an idol is a joke?”
Those words from Gim Iwol’s mouth were something I Cheonghyeon had not expected in the slightest.
* * *
‘What’s with this kid’s expression?’
I looked at the face of I Cheonghyeon, whom I had finally succeeded in catching before my eyes, and thought.
Here I was being dead serious, yet the kid was making a face as if he had no idea what was going on.
‘Does he not know how dangerous the situation just now could have been?’
He doesn’t, which is why he’s just standing there with that blank look.
My chest felt tight. I probably needed to take some gastric medicine again.
Calmly, I recalled the “Top 30 sceneries to think of when peace of mind is needed” and asked I Cheonghyeon,
“What if you got hurt on that face like a lump of gold, running around the mountain? Get a grip. Don’t you think about the fans who’ll smile and cry over a single high-resolution photo of you, who won’t need to eat because they’ll be full just looking at you?”
With a face like that, I Cheonghyeon needed to be aware of the impact his face had.
I wasn’t a looks-supremacist, but the world was.
‘There were so many comments saying they’d put up with Spark causing trouble just because of I Cheonghyeon’s face.’
Not everyone in the world would endure the controversy that blew up over Spark just for I Cheonghyeon’s face.
But at least in the sense that it could grab a fan by the ankle even once, preserving I Cheonghyeon’s face was something that had to be seen as being for the team.
I had to take three deep breaths to hold back my bursting anger. My head throbbed.
Here I was, racking my brain from morning till night just to debut without incident.
It had been a long time since I’d felt so uncooperative surroundings—since Manager Nam suddenly moved only my desk in front of the restroom.
So I tried to remind myself that the I Cheonghyeon before me was still a minor and in a situation where he could be sufficiently distressed, in the eye of the typhoon.
Then my boiling anger subsided somewhat.
“You’re not angry because I ran away... right?”
“Why would I be angry that you ran away when I’ve already caught you?”
To someone like me who had survived at Hanpyeong Industries for years, this didn’t even count as getting jerked around.
“I’m not saying I’m not angry. It’s about the level of having my meal snatched away while I was eating, at most?”
“That’s a relief it’s rice and not jjolmyeon....”
“What pisses me off is that you were running around the mountain without any safety gear. If you had just come along quietly, we could have sat down at a horizontal negotiation table.”
Just as I was about to regret rambling on in excitement, I Cheonghyeon muttered,
“I’m sorry.”
It was a thoroughly deflated apology.
I hadn’t observed him up close for long, but he didn’t seem like the type to be like this. He must have been driven into a real corner mentally.
‘I should... talk to him rationally.’
Having learned about Jeong Seongbin being cornered by a physically imposing adult, I felt very uncomfortable becoming someone who pressured a kid.
No matter how good my intentions were, in Korean society, it was difficult for a younger person not to be conscious of an age gap.
In the end, I held it in and decided to change the atmosphere first.
“No. I knew you’d want to be alone, so I’m sorry I came looking for you unilaterally. But I came because I was worried about you, so I hope you won’t feel too uncomfortable.”
At my words, I Cheonghyeon gave an awkward smile.
It didn’t look like he was trying not to feel uncomfortable; rather, he seemed to be forcing an act of nonchalance because he disliked the scolding atmosphere.
“I was going to stay just thirty minutes more. Since I’ve been caught, it can’t be helped. Too bad, too bad!”
With that, I Cheonghyeon stood up from the bench and dusted off his pants.
“Then stay the full thirty minutes.”
“Huh?”
“Just do more voluntary practice here and go. Since you’re already late, play hooky as much as you’d planned and then go.”
I checked if there was anyone nearby I needed to give my seat to, then sat down in the spot next to where I Cheonghyeon had been sitting.
I Cheonghyeon also glanced at me and awkwardly sat back down.
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
“If I got caught skipping practice, of course I have to watch your reaction.”
“If you’re going to watch my reaction that much, why skip practice? That’s an added charge of insolence.”
When I looked at I Cheonghyeon, he swallowed.
I kept my gaze fixed somewhere on the downtown spread out below the mid-mountain slope and asked,
“You wrote such a good song, and you’re still worried?”
Then I Cheonghyeon fired back,
“How did you know?”
I didn’t bother answering that.
I didn’t feel the need to explain the process I had gone through to reach that conclusion, nor did I think it was something important to I Cheonghyeon.
Instead, I decided to address the part that seemed to be weighing on him the most.
“I understand that you’re worried about what’ll happen if the results don’t come out, but that’s not something for you to worry about.”
“Huh?”
“There’s a difference between the digital music and album markets, group recognition is important, and it changes depending on promotion and music show exposure... There are dozens of factors that affect results. That responsibility can’t fall solely on the composer.”
This was something I Cheonghyeon could agree with rationally. His heart was another matter.
Because it had been proven through countless examples that no matter how outstanding the members or how good the concept, if the song wasn’t appealing, they couldn’t even make an appeal.
Moreover, I Cheonghyeon himself was someone who had never neglected music or studies since he was young.
Among people who had been good at everything, there were quite a few who felt pressure about results.
Having never failed before, they feared failure.
Usually they’d be in high spirits, but at some point they’d start watching others’ moods carefully, showing no hesitation with things they’d already been acknowledged as good at, yet becoming excessively intimidated in areas they themselves were challenging.
Just by looking at that behavior, one could fully grasp I Cheonghyeon’s disposition.
“Of course it’ll bother you. But even if the results aren’t good, we won’t pin it on any one person. I can’t stand someone taking all the blame.”
Even as I spoke, my face scrunched up in disgust.
But thinking that wrinkles would only mean appointments at aesthetic shops and more deductions from my settlement, I quickly smoothed my brow.
“This is hard. Until recently, I only had to worry about answering how much progress I’d made to you, Hyung.”
“Well, if you’re really worried, I can hold persistent feedback meetings like I do when checking your progress.”
“Wow. I only imagined it and I already feel completely drained....”
I Cheonghyeon ran his hands down both arms.
‘I’ve felt this before, but he must be really weak against negative evaluations.’
Even when he took his work to the A&R team, he had seemed to have no aversion to that kind of thing.
But I guess as a creator, he couldn’t help but care about evaluation.
No one goes through life receiving only praise.
Naturally, humans grow by receiving pointing out or criticism at least once.
However, for I Cheonghyeon, this “criticism” seemed to have a considerable effect.
Others might quite literally ask if he was too afraid of maggots to make soybean paste, but what each person considered important varied wildly.
Just as there are people who find maggots disgustingly repulsive, negative evaluations might simply be that kind of existence for I Cheonghyeon.
That much wasn’t an emotion I couldn’t understand at all.
“In the first place, neither I nor the kids are experts. We’re just giving our impressions at best, so?”
“That’s... true. Mm.”
An indescribable expression flashed across I Cheonghyeon’s face. However, he immediately hid such signs.
I kept my eyes on the tallest building peak below and said,
“What do you have to feel drained about? You’ve always done well.”