Episode 189. Office Opening: Part 2 (2)
Long waits are an idol’s everyday reality.
It’s common for recordings to run late, and there are plenty of times they’re called in with the expectation that they’ll be waiting around indefinitely in the first place.
Spark had done all sorts of things during those spare hours.
Studying, coloring, exercising, learning the choreography to other singers’ new songs, competing to see who could clean the waiting room better……
And eventually, they had come all the way to this.
『Joo-woo: Wine, whiskey, vodka—nothing can quench my thirst』
『Joo-woo: My throat is parched, pour your soul into my lips…….』
1. Park Joo-woo sings a famous rock band’s song with all his heart and soul.
『Cheonghyeon: Ah, I’m too short. Jeho hyung! Bring me the pad on my bed!』
『Jeho: What pad?』
『Cheonghyeon: The gray one with a Pikachu sticker on the back!』
2. Lee Cheonghyeon opens a piano app on a spare phone or tablet and plays the accompaniment.
『Giyeon: (Doing his utmost to keep time)』
3. Kang Giyeon provides the beat by tapping on whatever he can get his hands on—on that particular day, it was the handle of a feather duster—beating against the legs of chairs or the dining table.
And then there was me……
『Iwol: Boom boom boom boom, ba-boom, boom.』
I played the bass with my mouth. Playing an air bass with my hands was just an added bonus.
I hadn’t realized how insane we looked because I’d been in the middle of the chaos, but seeing it on-screen, there was no mistaking who the lunatic was.
As if mocking me, a flashy caption appeared.
『☆ Limited-Time Band Live Now in Progress ☆』
“I’m so ashamed right now.”
“You must be having a rough time, hyung.”
“You don’t need to be that…….”
I started to say that he should be ashamed too, but stopped. Right, what did Lee Cheonghyeon have to be ashamed of? He hadn’t played an instrument with his mouth like I had. He’d only done a little headbanging.
I even learned while watching the broadcast that this punk, Jeong Seongbin, had been recording us from the side.
『Seongbin (19 years old / Leader who loves his members)』
How was that a leader who loved his members? He was a leader brimming with plans to get his hands on his members’ weaknesses and use them against them.
『Joo-woo: ……Can we do one more song?』
『Cheonghyeon: Of course! Our band exists for you!』
Lee Cheonghyeon was even doing a skit with Park Joo-woo in the middle of all this.
『Giyeon: What are you doing? Hurry up and pick a song.』
None of them were in their right minds. They really had to be possessed by something.
『Iwol: All right, let’s go!』
And neither was I……
* * *
Even after the band’s frenzied live performance, Spark continued to show plenty of unprecedented behavior.
Kang Giyeon went into the shower and, out of habit, brought only his bottoms with him, then confidently emerged with his upper body exposed. On another occasion, steam fogged up the lenses of Choi Jeho’s glasses when he tried to drink gomtang, making the team’s center look rather comical.
Eventually, even my Pororo spoon set was caught on camera. As I watched the caption 『Lovely……♡』, I gave up on thinking.
After dinner, the black comedy exploded.
『Cheonghyeon: Could someone take my exam for me?』
『Iwol: Should I do it for you? But you won’t be able to go to college.』
『Cheonghyeon: I’m sorry, hyung.』
『Iwol: No, I only said you wouldn’t be able to go because proxy test-taking isn’t allowed;;;』
『Jeho: Why is this making that clacking sound?』
『Iwol: Me? I didn’t do anything.』
『Jeho: Not you. The power strip.』
『Iwol: Ohhh, I thought you meant me.』
It was practically my own stand-up comedy show, but still. I had no idea why we’d been like that that day.
Maybe it was because the fans had seen an overly realistic side of the idols they supported. The fandom was reduced to a sea of tears.
≫ At least now we know for sure that these kids don’t care about their image at all.
└ Idols with sexy faces and innocent brains? I like it even better.
≫ Our Iwol’s spoon is cute. Don’t tell me he bought it with his own money?
└ He’s seriously so damn cuteㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
└ Babies really do use spoons like that, yep, absolutely.
≫ I need a five-thousand-character explanation for how only the oldest is using such an adorable spoon set.
≫ I somehow managed to endure Lee Cheonghyeon’s double piano, but I lost it at Kim Iwol’s mouth bass.
Do you guys really act like this when you’re alone together?ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ
└ At first, I was like, “Our oldest is working so hard to entertain the younger onesㅠㅠㅠ!” But by the end, Iwol was wiping his sweat and looking refreshed…… I have no idea who was entertaining whom.
≫ I changed my icon to this.
(Photo of Choi Jeho’s glasses with fogged-up lenses)
I just couldn’t resist.
└ I said I liked Jeho in glasses, but I never expected him to show us the entire A to Z of glassesㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ큐ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ
≫ F×ck, Kim Iwol, don’t let it get you down.
You’re the greatest klutz ever.
└ You’re the worst one of all.
Would this be what it felt like to burn white-hot and turn to ash? It felt as though everything had burned away, leaving only the ruins behind. My body was fine, but my heart was exhausted.
After the shocking and horrifying broadcast ended, we were chatting for a few minutes when Jeong Seongbin asked a question.
“Hyung, filming will be over soon, right? Shouldn’t we start……”
“Yeah, because of comeback preparations, right?”
We’d been checking the necessary preparations bit by bit throughout filming. And now it was time to begin preparing for the comeback in earnest.
It meant that Kim Iwol, the ultimate klutz according to the Sparklers, would have to dance again for the first time in a while.
Since appearing in *In My Office* was what counted toward receiving proficiency, as long as the release date wasn’t delayed, I could continue raising my dance proficiency even during the comeback period. That was enough.
‘It was lucky that dramas these days were released all at once.’
Otherwise, I might have been left anxiously waiting for my proficiency to creep up by 0.nn points at a time. Hmm, thank goodness for pre-production.
“How’s the choreography this time? Is it really difficult?”
At my question, Kang Giyeon hesitated.
“It’s difficult…… if you think of it as difficult, and easy if you think of it as easy.”
“Who taught you to say things like, ‘Bring me a drink that’s sweet but doesn’t have too much sugar because I need to watch my blood sugar’?”
Seeing my stern expression, Kang Giyeon desperately tried to explain himself.
“No, it’s a concept we’ve never tried before. We won’t know whether it suits you until you dance it.”
“What about you and Choi Jeho?”
“I’m not sure about myself, and Jeho hyung is, well…….”
Kang Giyeon shrugged. It meant there was no need to say more.
He had a point. It would be a problem if Choi Jeho didn’t soar in this concept.
It might have the word ‘restraint’ in front of it, but this was Spark’s very first ‘adult concept,’ after all.
* * *
Conceptual genres were always a gamble. If you went too far, you could get a small number of fans wildly excited, but the general public would turn away. If you watered it down too much out of fear of that happening, nothing would remain.
Until now, Spark had promoted itself by putting the refreshing feeling of a winter night front and center. We had also monitored the fandom’s demand through Awangsil and fan meetings.
The conclusion my dedicated team and I reached was this:
‘A change in style is necessary at least once.’
We would preserve our signature wholesome, liberating sensibility. But everyone agreed that there needed to be a change in style.
‘I know the fans want a sexy concept. But I don’t think we should take it too far.’
‘Hmm?’
‘Giyeon and Cheonghyeon are still in their second year of high school. Seongbin and Joo-woo are minors too. I don’t want to make them do anything too extreme at such a young age.’
And so, the concept we came up with was ‘adult sexiness in suits.’
It wasn’t that Spark was good at giving off a boyish image, but making them look a few years older than their actual age was a piece of cake.
As long as we bundled the kids up from head to toe and handled Choi Jeho well, the balance would work out. I believed in you, my athletic friend.
The Sparklers would have been happy if we simply put everyone in suits, but since this was our first comeback in a while, we decided to put some effort into the concept.
They would be secret agents. The kind who hacked into buildings, picked locks, and infiltrated them by riding wires.
Everyone’s bodies were already in shape, so all the dedicated team had to do was assign the roles properly.
The moment Lee Cheonghyeon heard the concept, he devoted himself to his work like a madman for days on end. He listened to hundreds of samples because he wanted to add virtual instruments, and composed the bass line while banging his head against the wall like a woodpecker.
‘I’m putting all the sessions I couldn’t fit into the OST in here.’
Lee Cheonghyeon had muttered that with bloodshot eyes. He looked like a vengeful spirit who had developed a grudge while making ballads. I was too frightened to approach him.
After receiving the first completed version of the song from Lee Cheonghyeon, Choi Jeho and Kang Giyeon devoted themselves to meetings in the practice room day and night.
Their voices seemed to get raised occasionally, but they appeared to work things out on their own before returning to the dorm. Seeing Jeong Seongbin wearing a faint, touched smile made my heart ache.
While the dance line quarreled and debated the question, ‘Where does sexiness come from?’, Lee Cheonghyeon held frantic meetings with the A&R team and produced the finished version.
Park Joo-woo handled the guide vocals. He’d been bored lately because he had less to do than the other members, so he excitedly recorded double-tracked vocals and even backing vocals. As a result, every member ended up with more lines.
Jeong Seongbin handled the part distribution. I’d been fired from the position after the ‘Kim Iwol Line Deletion Incident,’ and Lee Cheonghyeon had entrusted full authority to Jeong Seongbin, saying he needed to write the B-sides. Although I’d been dismissed, I still answered kindly whenever Jeong Seongbin asked for my opinion.
All of this was happening while I filmed *In My Office*. Everyone had already made several comebacks, so the process moved along at lightning speed.
All that remained now was the title track’s final_final arrangement, choreography practice, vocal practice and recording, music video filming, album photo shoots, B-side recording…… Whew, that was a lot.
“Hyung, you should start managing your dark circles now.”
“Managing my dark circles has always been an ongoing process.”
Lee Cheonghyeon didn’t believe me. Instead, he scooped some of his own workload aside and held out a jar of moisturizing cream.
I slathered the cream over my face and thought,
‘What will they upload as the concept photos? I think a close-up of everyone’s face would be good for the photocards. If they all had something in their mouths, it could make for a pretty good picture…… Oh, this cream is nice. It’s moisturizing without feeling greasy.’
Just as I was considering what we could put in the members’ mouths to make them look good while replenishing moisture in my dry skin, the mattress lurched.
Lee Cheonghyeon was approaching me as though he were about to pounce on someone.
“What the hell?!”
“I was thinking about it, and it’s really strange.”
“What is? I told you not to make surprise appearances like that. Especially with your face—you could strain someone’s heart if you suddenly thrust it in front of them. Did I or did I not tell you that?”
“Sorry about that, but I’m talking about your dark circles, hyung.”
Lee Cheonghyeon pressed his thumb firmly against my dark circles. His face was serious, but his manner was anything but.
“Why don’t they show any sign of fading?”
“That’s just how I was born. Why?”
“You know how much the cream they apply at the salon costs, hyung. More accurately, they show almost no sign of improving.”
“What?”
“Think back to when you first became a trainee. You barely slept back then. And when you were hospitalized. Your condition was bad then, so it was natural for your dark circles to get worse. But now that you’re resting a lot more than before, they still don’t seem to improve beyond a certain level.”
“……”
“You don’t even have rhinitis, so why does the tone stay the same regardless of your condition? That’s what I mean.”
Now that he mentioned it, it was strange. It wasn’t as though I’d lived with dark circles every single day.
When I exercised often and worked relatively little overtime, there had definitely been times when I didn’t have dark circles.
‘Could this be the system’s influence too?’
It wasn’t something I’d paid attention to, aside from the fact that they were lighter than they had been when I was twenty-nine. But after everything I’d been through, it felt uncomfortable to simply let even something like this slide.
There had been quite a bit of explanation related to accumulated fatigue, so I should reread the manual soon.
Still, if the system was going to force me into becoming an idol, it could at least correct things like this. Didn’t it know that an idol’s basic requirement was flawless, jade-like skin?
Having failed to get a meaningful answer from me, Lee Cheonghyeon climbed back into his own bed.
Then he poked his head over the top and spoke to me.
“Don’t drink a lot of alcohol at company dinners or anything just to test it out. At that rate, you’ll really end up dead before you can even check your dark circles.”
“I’ll handle it within reason, so minors shouldn’t even mention alcohol.”
“Yes. Good night!”
Lee Cheonghyeon waved one last time and disappeared beyond the ceiling.
For no particular reason, my hand went to the area around my eyes. I fidgeted with the skin beneath those innocent eyes until I eventually fell asleep.
Manager Kim Hates Idols