Episode 168. Field Work (2)
Octopus catching was an item the youngest writer had brought in.
It wasn’t the peak season, but mudflats had been a treasure trove for variety shows since long ago. The location scouting costs were low, so there was the added advantage of being able to cast higher-tier celebrities than usual.
The fact that you had to shovel dozens of times to catch a single octopus also perfectly matched the hardcore image the program pursued. And so, octopus catching was proudly selected as a candidate item.
The problem was deciding who would go catch the octopuses. It was because of the intensity of the work.
Even a veteran with many years under their belt would be winded after working intensely for a few hours. The camera director who had gone on the preliminary survey returned with feedback that even just walking while pulling out sunken legs was overwhelming.
For clams, you could rest against a sled, but for octopus catching, all you could bring was a specialized octopus-catching shovel. If you even tried to put strength into the handle, the shovel would get stuck in the mud.
So celebrities lacking strength weren’t even put on the candidate list. On top of being an already poor environment where it was hard to get footage, if the cast collapsed early, they’d have to go all the way to the Mokpo auction house just to fill airtime.
The cast members couldn’t be too taciturn, either. They at least had to deliver some lines while catching octopuses. They couldn’t expect scenes of leading conversations with working professionals or talking with guests while working alongside other experts.
And above all… they needed the sense to actually catch octopuses. Even if they had to dig fifty times, even if they had to stick their arms into a hole when they spotted an octopus while digging, they had to catch at least one and create a usable broadcast scene.
“So we need to find someone strong, with good stamina, good at shoveling, talkative, and good at catching octopuses?”
“Will it be hard to find?”
“No, it just seems like they don’t exist.”
The meeting nearly broke down.
The atmosphere was revived when Spark came to mind—strong, with good stamina, seeming like they’d be good at digging, chatty among themselves, and maybe even able to catch octopuses.
“But will Spark agree to come on?”
“Why? Did they skyrocket to A-list or something?”
Even if they’d become a hot topic thanks to one program, it shouldn’t be enough to jump up a tier.
The writer spoke to the puzzled PD.
“You haven’t been watching the broadcasts, have you, PD? Iwol collapsed during the live show due to aftereffects. It seems like he won’t be doing many external schedules for a while.”
“Really?”
The PD’s expression turned desperate. He knew well that Spark’s work capacity was centered around Kim Iwol.
The production staff sent a casting offer with the mindset of grasping at straws once again. And once again, they succeeded in getting approval.
To match Spark’s passion, they would prepare even more thoroughly this time. They wouldn’t tell them the location in advance; they wouldn’t let them get a hint of it. They’d make sure to capture the flustered looks of the unsuspecting idols.
But the production staff had momentarily forgotten. The reason they had liked Spark was because Spark was a group that exceeded their imagination.
“Ugh…”
“Jihyeok, what’s wrong?”
“They’ve been talking for three hours straight?”
They didn’t stop talking for the entire three hours of the car ride, exhausting the audio director.
“It’s a mudflat.”
Even though they only saw the dark highway, they accurately inferred the destination.
“Hup.”
“How did you know…? The driver didn’t turn on the GPS, right?”
“That’s right.”
The production staff was thrown into a panic. If the members had cell phones, they would have already leaked all the items for what they were doing today.
Fortunately, according to their manager, Spark was an idol group that, unlike kids these days, still hadn’t been permitted to use cell phones. That was somewhat comforting.
His heart had nearly stopped about three times, but the camera director safely captured Spark’s surprised expressions. He felt catharsis.
The members followed the expert around and seriously learned the techniques. From Lee Cheonghyeon, one could even feel a peculiar passion for learning.
“To think I’m actually seeing a wild mudflat octopus in its habitat… Its legs are truly thin and long…!”
Lee Cheonghyeon covered his mouth, moved with emotion. They would have to ask the youngest writer to find out if this member’s interest lay in seafood.
“Then from now on, we’ll split up and start catching octopuses. Don’t forget there’s a penalty for those who don’t meet the quota!”
At the word “penalty,” the members turned pale and scattered in all directions.
The main PD attached himself to Kim Iwol along with one cameraman. Somehow, he felt like interesting shots would come from this side.
Kim Iwol stared at the mudflat for a while. Then he firmly gripped the shovel handle.
Up to that point, he was just “an idol attempting octopus catching with grim determination.”
“Iwol, you served in the military, right?”
At least, that was the case until Kim Iwol started digging like a madman.
There wasn’t a single wasted movement in his action of clenching his teeth and excavating mud. The dirt Kim Iwol dug out piled up around him in a circle like a mountain. Even compared to the other member digging in the distance, his speed was markedly different.
The accuracy of persistently digging deep into one hole. Speed sufficient to chase an octopus running around inside the mud. Stamina that didn’t tire.
The three elements matched together perfectly. When Kim Iwol scooped out a large chunk of dirt, the octopus revealed itself.
“Is this how I catch it, PD?”
“Uh… Yes! Very impressive!”
Faced with a mudflat octopus in perfect condition, they couldn’t help but praise him.
Perhaps Spark would fill their quota today and return gracefully as well?
The PD became a little frightened. So he contacted the youngest writer, who was on the boat, and told them to find out what time the Mokpo Suhyup auction house closed.
* * *
“Is it seven now?”
He put the octopus in the basket he was carrying and estimated how many he’d caught so far. His arm muscles felt like they were going to burst.
And the ground—every time he took a step, his knees sank deep, so regardless of his own will, he nearly got planted in the Mokpo coastal waters for good.
“Hyung, how many did you catch?”
Lee Cheonghyeon came walking over, dragging his shovel.
“Six or seven?”
“Really? How did you catch so many? I couldn’t catch a single one.”
“You just have to dig like hell when you see a breathing hole. What about the others? Did they catch any?”
“For starters, Juu-hyung is done for. He was practically being swallowed by the mudflat.”
Just from Lee Cheonghyeon’s words, he could imagine how much their main vocalist was floundering.
“Well, as long as he eats mud and doesn’t hurt his throat.”
“Sometimes I can’t tell if you care about Juu-hyung or not.”
“I’m a total philanthropist when it comes to Park Juu.”
As he was confessing his true feelings to Lee Cheonghyeon, a loud scream was heard from somewhere.
That temperamental one—it was definitely Choi Jeho.
Sure enough, far away, Choi Jeho was stabbing his shovel into the innocent mud. If there hadn’t been a camera rolling, it felt like he would have gone on a rampage. Good thing he’d given him a thorough character education.
“What’s going on?”
“Man, the octopus legs keep getting cut off!”
At the feet of the indignant Choi Jeho lay an octopus missing two legs.
“Didn’t you position it wrong?”
“How am I supposed to gauge something inside the mud?”
“You have to follow the traces well.”
“If I keep watching that, I’ll miss it.”
“That’s why you have to dig faster.”
“You guys are really like Dumb and Dumber.”
Lee Cheonghyeon muttered, looking at the two of them staring into the hole.
“The conclusion is, you can’t just mindlessly muscle your way through.”
“Are you saying I’m mindless right now?”
“I mean your strength defies common sense.”
“You think I wouldn’t understand just because you changed the wording?”
“Have you gotten more perceptive?”
Still, he provided one-on-one coaching from the side so Choi Jeho could catch intact octopuses.
He also rescued Park Juu, who was struggling to move step by step, and wiped the face of Gang Giyeon, who had gotten mud splattered all over his face while doing his best.
They also had a time for a mid-way tally all together.
He had caught nine, Choi Jeho had caught eight (not intact), Jeong Seongbin had six, Park Juu had five—he said he luckily got them while lying sprawled out—and Gang Giyeon had caught one.
And…
“Lee Cheonghyeon, what happened to you?”
…Lee Cheonghyeon showed off his empty basket. He was so shameless that he was at a loss for words for a moment.
“Hey, if they hear even a little footstep, they run away immediately!”
“And you think they’d just sit still and let themselves get caught?”
He put two octopuses each into the youngest members’ baskets.
Considering there was one hour left, he thought he could sufficiently fill his quota, and he didn’t want Gang Giyeon, whose knees and ankles weren’t good, to wander around the mud for long.
“We’ll be late if we wait until the tide comes in to start rowing today, so let’s get energized early. Got it?”
“Yes!”
With an energetic cry of “Fighting!” they headed back out to the vast mudflat.
As if the shoveling techniques engraved in his nerves hadn’t rusted, in part two of the octopus catching, he became one with the shovel and caught octopuses.
Park Juu found his stride from the middle and uncannily targeted where the octopuses were, and Jeong Seongbin also quietly and diligently filled his basket.
Ah, Choi Jeho also succeeded in catching a perfect octopus.
He hadn’t found the knack; he was just overturning the dirt like he was plowing it up or something. He looked like an excavator. I guess when your body is good, your head doesn’t have to suffer.
Lee Cheonghyeon had caught a baby octopus at best, but released it as-is for the virtuous cycle of nature. It was regrettable, but a natural course of action.
“We’ll have incoming tide soon. We’ll do the final tally on the boat!”
With the PD’s final comment, all the members assembled on the boat. Not a single person was in decent shape.
It was a visual that sufficiently conveyed how hard they had worked to catch octopuses.
“At the mid-way tally, our Cheonghyeon’s score was the lowest, right?”
“Yes, and probably still is now.”
Lee Cheonghyeon dumped out his basket shamelessly. Two octopuses that were presumed to be the ones he’d been given crawled out.
“You didn’t catch a single one?”
“A person can’t be perfect.”
Lee Cheonghyeon was even brazen about it. Gang Giyeon made an expression of disbelief.
“Then how many did you catch?”
“No matter what, I caught more than you.”
Gang Giyeon revealed his haul, putting Lee Cheonghyeon down as much as possible.
“Three? Didn’t Iwol-hyung give you two as well?”
“Anyway, I caught more than you.”
They checked two people’s baskets and already two penalty performers had emerged. The broadcast wouldn’t be boring. He didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.
—
Profile
Name: Choi Jeho
Birthday: November 3
Birthplace: Gwangju Metropolitan City
Height: 187cm
MBTI: ISTP
Nicknames: Center Emperor, Emperor-ho, Major Troublemaker, Meeting-the-Parents Destroyer
Likes: Physical activity
Dislikes: Annoying things, accessories
Motto: (None)
Favorite food: Meat
Preferred scent: Lavender
Favorite music genre: Punk
Favorite sport: Basketball
Body part he’s confident in: Thighs (later added “back” upon someone’s fervent insistence)
Unique habit: Frequently touching the hinge when wearing glasses