| Episode 140. Fourth Contest: Emergency Measures Meeting (1)
I was fucked.
I was the one who’d said we should go on Awangsil, and now because of me, it looked like we wouldn’t be able to perform. I had no idea what the hell had happened to my head.
‘An injury that takes eight weeks to heal, and accumulated fatigue at 95%... Does that mean I really almost died?’
All at once, I remembered the system messages that had been grating on my nerves until recently.
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[SYSTEM] A work instruction has arrived from the “Supervisor.”
▶ Assistant Manager Kim, why are you doing things no one told you to do? Have you got no work? Should I give you more?
[SYSTEM] A work instruction has arrived from the “Supervisor.”
▶ Assistant Manager Kim, you really do make things difficult. Why do you keep doing what I told you not to?
[SYSTEM] A work instruction has arrived from the “Supervisor.”
▶ Assistant Manager Kim, standing out isn’t always a virtue in society.
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Back then, I had definitely thought...
‘Is someone going to die just because Spark goes on Awangsil? Is the flow of heavenly fate going to change?’
...that.
But I really had almost died. The countdown had been a warning to be careful, too.
Looking at this alone, I could tell the system did have some goodwill toward me. At the very least, it hadn’t completely left me alone when a crisis was coming. It had even prepared follow-up measures in the form of the four major insurances.
In addition, judging from the system message that had just appeared, it seemed the penalty imposed during Awangsil had been intended to prevent this incident.
Only then did it feel like all the pieces of the puzzle were fitting together.
The budget that had been cut down abnormally, the negative reactions that had increased to an oddly excessive degree even considering malicious editing, and even the character controversy that had led to demands for us to leave just recently.
It hadn’t notified me directly, but through the penalties and the countdown, it had been continuously steering me toward dropping out.
Then did that mean I shouldn’t do anything the system didn’t tell me to do?
Not necessarily. When I appeared on “Do.Life,” there had been neither work nor sanctions. That meant not everything was neatly divided into “things I could do” and “things I couldn’t do.”
‘And... if I only do the tasks I’m told to do, when am I ever going to get first place?’
I didn’t even know how many KPIs were left, so I couldn’t hesitate.
The only thing that was certain was that it was better for my personal safety not to do things the system told me not to. Finding loopholes was a new assignment.
Why did it have to go this far to make me an idol?
My head was a mess. My thoughts were so tangled they felt like they were going to burst.
‘Fuck.’
I hated thinking about problems that had no answer. I simply closed my eyes.
If only the switch to my thoughts would click off just like that.
The unresolved thoughts drifted through my head like grease floating on cold beef bone soup.
I didn’t know. For now, I should be grateful I hadn’t died.
There would be plenty of time to think later, but the Awangsil finals were right around the corner. On top of that, if I missed this matter now, the opportunity would never come again.
‘Wasn’t there something else written below when the industrial accident insurance explanation popped up?’
When the industrial accident insurance explanation first appeared, I had been in a panic, so I’d only read the words that caught my eye, but looking back, it seemed like something else had been written below.
I pulled up the industrial accident insurance explanation once more.
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[SYSTEM] “Party B” is hereby notified of “Four Major Insurances—Industrial Accident Insurance.”
.
.
.
▷ During the period in which “Industrial Accident Insurance” is applied, “Party B” may choose one of the following: ① relief from pain caused by an occupational injury, or ② rapid recovery from injuries caused by an occupational injury (may vary depending on the severity of the injury).
▷ Insurance benefits may be changed only once.
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The system had clearly said that the injuries I’d sustained then could be healed in two weeks.
If it was two weeks when my head was split open, then now that the surgery was over, I should be able to recover in an even shorter time.
‘The finals have been postponed anyway. I can say it’s a miraculous recovery and go onstage.’
Since I was recovering anyway, I turned off the Labor Support Service in hopes of gaining muscle as well.
When I kept that on, I didn’t build muscle. I was planning to lower my fatigue completely and be reborn in a new body.
As I stared at the part that said it could be changed, a new line of text appeared.
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[SYSTEM] A work instruction has arrived from the “Supervisor.”
▶ You can’t receive overlapping benefits, okay? Just because something looks fine on the outside doesn’t mean everything’s fine, so pay attention to what’s inside too. Good luck!
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And then, three seconds later.
I felt the headache I had experienced just a few hours ago come back again.
‘Fuck, it’s because my body’s in this damn state that those bastards are worrying, fuck, you son of a...!’
All that came to mind were curses. I hadn’t had an experience like this since CBRN training.
* * *
The next day, Jeong Seongbin came to my hospital room with Choe Jeho.
I greeted them looking utterly haggard.
“What’s wrong with your face?”
This bastard was picking a fight with my face. What, he thinks he’s good-looking?
“Are you in a lot of pain, hyung? Your complexion looks terrible.”
Look at Jeong Seongbin. Even when saying the same thing, he was this gentle and kind.
“I’m fine. Thanks for coming, both of you.”
I wasn’t fine at all, but if they found out, it was obvious they would gather around me and nag me to death again. I desperately put on the performance of my life.
“The reason I asked you here today was to discuss...”
“Sorry for interrupting, hyung. But there’s something I need to tell you.”
Jeong Seongbin, unusually, cut me off. When I told him to go ahead, he hesitated a little, then spoke firmly.
“Hyung, we’ll try doing the final contest by ourselves.”
It was something I hadn’t expected at all. These guys were autonomously taking one step toward the five-member group Spark!
To prevent Spark from withdrawing midway through Awangsil, I had thought I needed to somehow appeal that I was all healed and get up onstage.
But these guys were commendably telling me that they would handle the stage themselves, so I should rest.
I almost shed tears of joy, but I held them back. My head already hurt so much that I was on the verge of tears. If I let my guard down, both my tear ducts and my wounds would burst.
“Are you sure that’s all right?”
“Are you in any shape to worry about that? If we tell you to rest, just rest.”
Even Choe Jeho was kindly trying to stop me.
A monumental occasion. I’ll make today my second birthday.
“Thanks for being considerate. If it’s just you guys, I’m sure it’ll be even cooler.”
“...What?”
Their planning had been bad, but even in the past, the Spark guys had been insanely good at doing their own parts. This time, I had spoon-fed them the concept, so they would handle it well on their own.
‘Will this be the first time we show the stage of five-member Spark?’
If the guys did well on this stage, the aftermath when I withdrew would lessen a little.
When that time came, there would be reactions like, “Last time, it looked like they were fine without Kim Iwol.”
“It’s an important stage, so you have to do well. Maybe this worked out for the better. If you need help with anything else, tell me.”
Instead of wasting a ton of time memorizing that damned choreography, for a stiff-as-a-board guy like me, it might be much better to work on a laptop from here.
The kids wouldn’t have to take my dancing level into account either. If they excluded my share of the costume and prop budget, they’d have more money to use too.
I was about to ask Jeong Seongbin if he could bring me one of the shared laptops when I noticed his expression was serious.
“What do you mean, it worked out for the better, hyung?”
“If you guys do it on your own, the quality will be higher. It was a good thing I let you and Juu rest during the last position battle. Otherwise, I could give Giyeon a bit more of the part...”
“Wait. I don’t understand why you think that, hyung. Why do you think it would be better without you?”
“I told you last time. Do I have to say it twice?”
At that, Jeong Seongbin’s expression hardened.
“So if there’s a spare laptop, could you bring me one? And my planner too. I probably left it next to my pillow.”
“...No. While you’re hospitalized, please just rest properly.”
“Huh?”
“I’ll think of a way for you to participate, even briefly. Hyung, until the final contest, just focus on recovering quickly.”
I didn’t know why he had suddenly changed his stance, but Jeong Seongbin was firm. It was clear to the eye that his mood had sunk.
“They said he needs eight weeks to heal. He won’t be discharged before then.”
Choe Jeho joined the conversation. However, Jeong Seongbin didn’t budge.
“There’ll be a way for all six of us to stand onstage. So let’s say there’s no talk of hyung being left out.”
With those words, Jeong Seongbin bowed and left the hospital room. I gestured to Choe Jeho to hurry up and follow him.
‘System, can’t you give me something like a video of a five-member Spark performance?’
If I showed him that just once, Jeong Seongbin wouldn’t say something like that.
But the system was merciless.
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[SYSTEM] A work instruction has arrived from the “Supervisor.”
▶ Say something that makes sense. Assistant Manager Kim, really, you have a tendency to try and pull cheap tricks, don’t you?
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The dizziness I had been desperately holding back in front of them washed over me.
I was in this much pain, but there was no unpaid leave, and Jeong Seongbin was scolding me. How miserable. So miserable.
* * *
“You want to put Iwol-hyung’s part in the second half?”
At Jeong Seongbin’s notice, I Cheonghyeon was shocked. Park Juu and Gang Giyeon’s expressions were not much different.
“What’s wrong? Did the talk with hyung not go well...?”
“It’s not that.”
To Park Juu’s question, that was the only answer Jeong Seongbin could give.
After waiting for a long time in front of the operating room doors, the members had barely been able to see Kim Iwol. But no one could open their mouths when they saw him.
His face, covered in blood and hard to recognize; his lips, caked with blood because he had bitten them to pieces; even the IV needles stuck all over the backs of his hands.
The very word “weapon” sounded so powerful that all of them, with Kim Iwol in front of them, had ended up thinking of death.
Park Juu, who had been holding back well, cried nonstop until he heard that Kim Iwol was recovering steadily. I Cheonghyeon, who had repeatedly cried and stopped, burst into sobs as soon as Kim Iwol opened his eyes.
Fortunately, Kim Iwol had passed the crisis, and as the members returned to the dorm, each of them had many thoughts.
And the next day, Jeong Seongbin gathered the members.
‘Yesterday, the manager-hyung said so. If it’s too hard, we can withdraw from Awangsil.’
‘Yeah...’
‘I’m curious what everyone thinks. I’d like each of you to speak comfortably.’
Jeong Seongbin had a direction he wanted to take. Even if the members offered opinions opposite to his, he had spent the entire night thinking about how to persuade them.
But that worry became meaningless.
‘Awangsil is the program Iwol-hyung tried to go on while persuading us like that. He’s not the kind of person who’d like giving up halfway, either. I think we should see it through to the end.’
Because everyone agreed with Gang Giyeon’s words. Unanimously.
‘They said eight weeks, but even after he’s discharged, hyung will probably have to keep receiving treatment. The five of us will have to do the stage. You’re okay with that too, right?’
Jeong Seongbin confirmed it again. The members, who had spent the previous night agonizing just as much as Jeong Seongbin, agreed to that as well.
So now, he had been trying his best to lessen his hyung’s burden a little and let him focus only on recovering without worrying.
‘It’s an important stage, so you have to do well. Maybe this worked out for the better.’
Why had those words made him so angry?
At that moment, Jeong Seongbin had seen, overlapping with Kim Iwol, the Kim Iwol who had been caught practicing alone late at night.
‘I’m doing this because I’m far more lacking compared to you guys.’
Jeong Seongbin remembered exactly what Kim Iwol had said.
Those words, so absurd that anyone in UA would say they were ridiculous.
It had also felt dubious when Kim Iwol said he was grateful that Gang Giyeon had thought that much of him during their argument.
Wasn’t that much obvious? They were members of the same group, they had gone through thick and thin together, and he was the hyung they relied on more than anyone.
“About Iwol-hyung.”
Jeong Seongbin put into words what he had been agonizing over alone for a long time.
“Don’t you think his self-esteem is strangely low?”