A New Public Official’s Press Release
“One.”
“Two.”
“Three.”
Each time he counted out the confiscated license plates, they scraped against the table and let out a metallic clank.
“Twelve.”
The moment the record of eleven set by Confiscation Team 3 was broken, the eyes of every confiscation team staff member, including the Finance Department Section Chief, wavered in unison.
“Thirteen.”
Clank.
Sin Jong-ho, leader of Confiscation Team 10, had been deliberately setting the plates down loudly starting from the twelfth.
“Fourteen.”
Clank.
“Fifteen.”
Clank.
Now only one license plate remained.
“Sixteen.”
Clunk.
“Sixteen. Confiscation Team 10 has confiscated sixteen, taking first place in today’s confiscation tally.”
Deputy Chief Sin Jong-ho’s voice was elated.
“Oh my god, this is unbelievable. A new employee on his first day, and without a partner at that, confiscated sixteen by himself?”
The leaders of the ten confiscation teams shook their heads with expressions of disbelief.
“Wow, our Yi Gang-han is something else. He’s the real deal. No, seriously, how did he confiscate sixteen alone?”
The Finance Department Section Chief folded his arms and let a faint smile cross his face.
“Yes. I was wondering the same thing the Chief asked. How on earth did the newest of the new employees manage to bring back sixteen license plates? What kind of mindset does it take to pull something like this off? What, passion? Something like that?”
The Tax Delinquency Team 1 Leader pressed, as if interrogating him.
“There wasn’t any special mindset. It’s just, when you go to a valley stream in summer to catch freshwater snails, you get so caught up in the fun of collecting that you lose track of time. Every time I removed a license plate, I felt that same feeling.”
“Heh heh.”
“Hahaha.”
The Section Chief and several employees laughed heartily, looking pleased.
“Now, now. There’s still plenty of time left until the unified license plate confiscation period ends. I understand that this time you’re also grading work performance based on confiscation results, and that Team Leaders 1 and 2 have a dinner bet going as well. Everyone, do your best. Today is the first day of confiscation, you’ve all worked hard, and we also need to welcome our new employee, so I, as the Section Chief, will treat you all to dinner.”
“Wow—”
At the Section Chief’s offer to buy dinner, cheers erupted here and there.
It was Gwak Seung-u, Section Chief of the Finance Department, infamously known as the biggest cheapskate among the administrators at Haedong City Hall.
***
A samgyeopsal restaurant with a cauldron-lid grill in front of Haedong City Hall.
The office dinner culture for public officials hadn’t changed much from the past.
Samgyeopsal and soju. Or soju-beer bomb shots.
Sizzle, sizzle.
As the samgyeopsal began to grill golden-brown on the cauldron-lid plate, Finance Department Section Chief Gwak Seung-u stood up.
“Now, today is the first day of the unified confiscation period, and everyone has worked hard, so let us all toast together. The toast will be ‘Igija.’”
Office toasts—especially those from people in their forties or older—were obvious.
Bakkaseu. (Be robust, full of charisma, and speedy.)
Jaegeonchuk. (Let’s live fun, healthy, and blessed.)
Most toasts followed this three-line acrostic style.
The toast “Igija” proposed by Section Chief Gwak Seung-u meant, “Let’s create opportunities like this often.”
Starting with Section Chief Gwak Seung-u’s toast, the glasses began to circulate.
After a few rounds of soju-beer bomb shots, the Section Chief called my name.
“Yi Gang-han.”
“Yes, Chief.”
“You give a toast too.”
As expected, Chief Gwak had me make a toast.
At year-end parties or group dinners, office workers felt considerable psychological burden because they were obliged to take turns shouting toasts.
Especially young newcomers felt the psychological pressure to come up with “a toast with some wit” in front of their superiors.
“Then I will offer a toast.”
When I stood up, the senior employees began to clap.
“Wow, Yi Gang-han is handsome.”
Some female employees slurred their words halfway, gossiping about my looks.
“Today, as the Chief said, is the first day of the unified confiscation period. Starting tomorrow, complainants will pour in, screaming at the top of their lungs that we took their license plates. Nevertheless, in the spirit of making the Finance Department one that is always full of smiles, I propose ‘U-haha’ as our toast.”
“U-haha? I’ve never heard that as a toast before.”
“There’s a toast like that? What does it mean?”
The employees murmured here and there.
“U-haha means that even when complainants make a fuss, let’s be joyful among ourselves, and at the same time, it carries the meaning of ‘We are one under heaven.’”
“Wow. That’s ingenious.”
“It’s refreshing. As expected, a newcomer is different.”
Until 2002, the toast “U-haha” had not yet become known among office workers.
“I will lead the cheer with ‘U-haha,’ and everyone please shout ‘hana-da’ in response.”
I shouted “U-haha” in a robust voice.
At that, all the employees, including the Finance Department Section Chief, shouted “Hana-da.”
The dinner atmosphere was not bad.
Some employees talked about me, saying it was like seeing themselves when they were young, and launched into old war stories. Another female employee complained about her husband while knocking back her glass.
When the dinner had ripened considerably,
Section Chief Gwak Seung-u’s cell phone rang loudly.
Beep-beep—beep-beep—
“Who is it at this hour?”
Chief Gwak took out his phone and looked at the screen.
“Huh? It’s the PR Team leader.”
The Public Relations Team was the department in charge of media and publicity work.
Since it was past 8:30 p.m. and the PR Team leader was calling, Gwak quickly answered his phone.
“Yes, this is Gwak Seung-u.”
[Chief, this is the PR Team leader.]
“Yes. What is it at this hour?”
[The thing is, it seems news about our Haedong City Hall Finance Department will be published in tomorrow’s Haedong Daily.]
“What? News about Haedong City Hall Finance Department? We never issued a press release like that.”
Chief Gwak’s face began to flush red.
In public service circles, this saying was openly circulated:
“Civil servants are the reporters’ meal ticket.”
That was why public officials were innately ill-disposed toward reporters and the media.
Gwak Seung-u was no different.
[The press release seems to have come not from our side but from Haedong Police Station.]
“Haedong Police Station?”
[Yes.]
“What would we have to do with the police station…”
[I managed to obtain a draft of the press release with some difficulty, and I think you should take a look too, Chief. Where are you right now?]
“I’m at the samgyeopsal restaurant with the cauldron-lid grill in front of City Hall…”
[Then I’ll have a team member send you a copy.]
“Yes, I’d appreciate that.”
[Understood, Chief.]
Gwak Seung-u ended the call.
After speaking with the PR Team leader, Chief Gwak’s expression darkened.
“Does anyone here have dealings with Haedong Police Station? They say Haedong Police Station issued a press release related to our Haedong City Hall Finance Department. I need to know what this is about.”
I had a suspicion, but I didn’t step forward to speak.
I would be able to check the press release shortly anyway, and there was no need to speak up based on something uncertain.
***
Not long after,
a PR Team employee handed the press release to Chief Gwak Seung-u.
At first his expression was dubious, but as he read down the press release, his face brightened, and finally he burst into a hearty guffaw.
“Euhahaha, what in the world is all this? Look at this, Yi Gang-han.”
Chief Gwak called my name.
“Yes, Chief.”
“Yi Gang-han, just where does your ability end?”
Gwak Seung-u, reading the press release, began to speak out of nowhere.
“Pardon? What do you mean by that?”
“Now, now. Everyone, listen closely.”
Chief Gwak focused the attention of the staff.
“Today during the license plate confiscation operation, a Haedong City Hall employee rendered distinguished service in apprehending a wanted criminal with thirteen prior convictions. The Haedong City Hall Finance Department employee noticed that the front and rear license plates attached to the vehicle were different and, judging that it was highly likely a criminal’s vehicle, called the police. When the wanted criminal became frightened and tried to flee, the employee calmly introduced himself as a staff member of the Haedong City Hall Tax Delinquency Section, reassured the suspect, and together with the detective on the scene, apprehended the fugitive. However, surprisingly, the employee who rendered such distinguished service is a new public official who just joined Haedong City Hall. This is the press release from Haedong Police Station… This is a story about you, Yi Gang-han.”
“Wow…”
“……”
Some employees let out exclamations of admiration as Chief Gwak read the press release, while others were so speechless they clamped their mouths shut.
“As for new employees in our Haedong City Hall Finance Department, do we have anyone other than Yi Gang-han? Is this all a story about Yi Gang-han?”
Chief Gwak asked again for confirmation.
“It seems so.”
Most likely, the detective squad leader at Haedong Police Station and Detective Ma Seok-do had debated heatedly before deciding to issue the press release exactly as it was.
“What happened?”
Everyone looked at me with wide eyes.
I explained the whole story.
“So that’s what happened.”
Having heard my explanation, Chief Gwak Seung-u nodded.
“Team Leader Choe.”
Chief Gwak called Choe Yeong-pyo, Tax Delinquency Team 2 Leader.
“Yes, Chief.”
“Since it’s coming out in the morning papers tomorrow, the moment you get to work, take Yi Gang-han with you and go to the Mayor’s office.”
“Understood, Chief.”
Team Leader Choe answered tersely and firmly.
“A lucky charm has come to our Haedong City Hall Finance Department. A real blessing has arrived.”
Gwak Seung-u chuckled and looked around at the employees.
“Why is the atmosphere like this? Now, now. This is good news, so let’s drink. Drink!”
Once again, the glasses began to circulate.
***
After 10:20 p.m., the dinner gathering ended.
Some staggered out calling for a second round, and some of the female employees bid farewell to the Chief and took taxis home first.
Team Leader Choe had gone home early because of tomorrow morning’s report to the Mayor, and once he left, the Tax Delinquency Team 2 staff scattered as well.
Chief Gwak Seung-u, now in his mid-fifties, seemed to lack stamina and took a taxi home first. The remaining employees moved to go to a second round.
Gang Hyo-sang approached me.
“Yi Gang-han. You need to have one more beer.”
“I’m sorry, Senior. There’s somewhere I absolutely must go today.”
“At this hour? What, are you going to meet your girlfriend?”
“It’s not that. I had a really good time tonight. I’ll get going now.”
I greeted my seniors and boarded the bus.
“Hoo… Yi Gang-han, that guy is incredible.”
“Right? I bet since Haedong City Hall was founded, he’s the only one to make the morning papers on his first day of work.”
“He tore off sixteen license plates too.”
“But isn’t it strange?”
“What is?”
“They say cops were with him. Given the nature of the police, they would’ve tried to spin it all as their own credit in the press release…”
“I guess the reporters caught wind of it.”
“Heh heh. Anyway, that Yi Gang-han is a total grinder. You guys better really step it up.”
Someone teased the Grade 8 employees.
Leaving those seniors behind, I returned home.
10:40 p.m.
The moment I got off the bus, I headed to the study room in front of my house.
The study room owner showed his teeth in a grin when he saw me.
“You’re a bit late today?”
“Yes, sir.”
“What, have you been drinking?”
“Hehe, we had a City Hall dinner today.”
“Oh, you. What kind of studying are you going to do after drinking? Why don’t you just go in early, wash up, and sleep?”
“I can’t. The Grade 7 National Tax Service civil servant exam is only a few months away.”
“Gang-han, you. Sometimes you really seem like a grinder. Any normal friend would’ve quit studying the moment they passed the City Hall exam.”
“I have a goal.”
“You mean the National Tax Service Commissioner?”
“Well then, I’ll go to my seat and read a bit before heading in.”
I greeted the study room owner, went to my seat, and opened my constitutional law textbook.
“If any other kid said it, I’d tell them to stop talking nonsense, but that grinder Gang-han might really become the National Tax Service Commissioner…”
The study room owner looked at Yi Gang-han and nodded his head.