3#
Ganghyeon had no sooner answered than the questions kept coming. Perhaps flustered by my continuous barrage of questions, his expression stiffened. He bit his handsome lower lip lightly, making it look as though the answers were difficult. At that, a vein throbbed on Yun Doyeong’s forehead.
Not seeing that, Ganghyeon hesitated before opening his mouth.
“The café.”
“You’ve only been working there for a month.”
“……Yeah.”
“What’s he like?”
“……Nice.”
His terse answers made me feel like I was going to burst. I forced a gentle smile and asked.
“Can’t you tell me in more detail? Do you have a picture? Can you show me?”
“I’ll introduce you later.”
Ganghyeon smiled awkwardly and looked around the hospital room. When he seemed to avoid my gaze, I reached out. Grabbing his arm, I asked.
“You said it’s been a month, so why didn’t you tell me?”
Hurt seeped into my words. Ganghyeon, looking bewildered, stared at my face before pulling his arm free from my grip. He bit his lower lip lightly, then met my eyes and opened his mouth.
“You seemed busy. We became lovers slowly and naturally, so I wasn’t certain either. You’re the first person I’ve told. No one knows yet.”
Speaking calmly, he let out a shallow breath and continued.
“More importantly, how is your condition? Why did you get into that accident?”
At his seemingly indifferent, cold question, Yun Doyeong closed his mouth. Ganghyeon’s tone had always been somewhat stiff. But the voice I felt from him now sounded cold, as if asking what business it was of his.
“I-……I’m fine. They said I can go about daily life.”
At my words, Ganghyeon smiled faintly as if relieved.
“Rest. I’ll go.”
“Already?”
At the word that he was leaving, Yun Doyeong raised his upper body. When he let out a pained groan, Ganghyeon approached and laid him back down.
“Does it hurt a lot? Should I call a nurse?”
At the question filled with worry, Yun Doyeong grabbed his sleeve.
“Can’t you look after me a little?”
“…….”
“As you know, you can’t just let anyone in as a caregiver. Please, help me.”
Yun Doyeong’s voice came out trembling. As if emphasizing the pain, he clutched his chest and let out a groan. Ganghyeon was someone who had always granted my requests. Expecting the obvious answer, a smile touched my lips, but
“Sorry. I have to go to my part-time job. And you said daily life is possible. Be careful moving until you recover, and ask them to assign you a reliable assistant.”
At his calm words, a crack formed in Yun Doyeong’s smooth brow.
“Doyeong, I’m late even if I leave now. Take care of yourself. When you’re discharged…….”
I grabbed his hand as he couldn’t continue. A trembling yet desperate, firm question burst out.
“You’ll come, right?”
“……If I have time. I’m working three part-time jobs these days. Sorry. I’ll contact you. Then, rest.”
Strength drained from Yun Doyeong’s hand. He spoke calmly to Ganghyeon, who hesitated and turned around. It was a soft tone, but a voice with considerable coldness mixed in.
“Wear my coat.”
“No. I’ll take a taxi.”
Yun Doyeong stared intently at Ganghyeon’s retreating back as he refused and turned away. When the door closed, his chest felt as if it had caved in. Though less than when he saw the message saying Ganghyeon was at a hotel with his lover, anger surged and the back of his neck stiffened.
Feeling the heat spreading at the corners of his eyes, he closed them. Pressing his hollow chest with his hand, he stared blankly into space.
He couldn’t even congratulate him, if only out of courtesy, on getting a lover. No, he didn’t.
***
Ganghyeon’s footsteps as he walked down the VIP ward corridor were regular. He stood in front of the elevator and pressed the down button. Taking a breath as he waited for the elevator stopped on the 3rd floor to come up.
Fortunately, Yun Doyeong’s injuries from the accident weren’t severe. They said the cracked rib would heal in about a month, and since daily life was possible, it wasn’t worth worrying about.
His agency would take good care of him, and his parents and grandfather would look after him well. His maternal grandfather, the chairman of a large corporation, his mother, and his father, a National Assembly member. His insanely enviable family would nurse him fondly and dearly. They would. So I just need to do my own work.
Yun Doyeong’s voice asking for nursing care kept echoing in his ears. The image of his lips, clutching his chest and letting pain show, flickered before his eyes. His feet twitched with the desire to return to the hospital room. The moment he anxiously raised and lowered his heel, a hand grabbed his shoulder. He turned around reflexively.
“It’s cold. Put on your coat.”
Yun Doyeong was clutching below his chest and holding out the coat.
“Why did you come out!”
“They said daily life is fine so I tried walking a bit. So you don’t need to be so surprised.”
Yun Doyeong walked around behind Ganghyeon. While Ganghyeon stood there with a troubled expression, not knowing what to do, the coat was draped over his shoulders.
“……I said I’m fine.”
“It’s below zero today.”
At the same time, the elevator doors opened. Then words burst out simultaneously.
“Take the next one.”
“I’ll take you.”
Slightly flustered, Ganghyeon smiled helplessly. Yun Doyeong stared at him like that and smiled deliberately. His observing eyes held a brilliant light, but it was hidden between his prettily curved eyes.
“I’m going.”
“You said you’d take me.”
“Sorry, my part-time job is too late. I’ll contact you.”
Ganghyeon quickly got on, pressing the button for the closing elevator.
“I’ll call you.”
“Go carefully.”
“……Take care of yourself.”
“Thank you for coming.”
Listening to Yun Doyeong’s weak greeting, Ganghyeon pressed the 1st floor button. When he inadvertently raised his head, he saw Yun Doyeong in a hospital gown waving his hand at chest height through the gap of the closing elevator doors. Ganghyeon waved back. Soon the elevator doors closed and Yun Doyeong’s figure disappeared.
“Haah…….”
Ganghyeon covered his face with both hands. Yun Doyeong was the one injured, yet his own chest ached so unbearably, heavily. His emptied mind felt frozen, but the coat draped over his shoulders was warm like its owner.
Yun Doyeong had always been this affectionate. Though he appeared kind to everyone, he was unexpectedly the type to keep his distance. Unless absolutely necessary, he wouldn’t approach others first, and to those approaching with goodwill, he deliberately gave off a cold feeling, drawing a line.
Only to me. Only to me who had known him for a long time, he had been this affectionate as if giving everything.
Exiting the opened elevator doors, Ganghyeon finally slipped his arm into the coat sleeve. Walking through the lobby, he unknowingly stopped in front of a large mirror.
Disheveled hair. A black knit tee with pilling and sweatpants. Over that, a designer coat.
A bitter smile escaped at his unbalanced appearance.
He had left a message saying he was at a hotel with his lover. What kind of person meets their lover at year-end in such a shabby state? Moreover, at a hotel. He moved his powerless steps.
Tightening the coat permeated with Yun Doyeong’s scent and crossing his arms as if embracing himself, his clothes—always worn a size larger than Ganghyeon—felt cozy as always.
“Ah…….”
He had been so distracted fabricating useless talk about a lover that he couldn’t even say congratulations on winning the Grand Prize. Though he could return the coat through the agency, he should still offer congratulations. As fellow actors…….
He cut off the thought and let out a bitter smile.
How could Yun Doyeong and he be the same kind of actor? Though they started as child actors, after his hiatus ended and he returned, Yun Doyeong was a top actor who landed lead roles, while he was merely a working actor barely managing extra-level supporting roles, forgotten by all.
He took out his smartphone and placed his hand on the keypad to send congratulations again. There, a perfunctory congratulatory message he had sent earlier was displayed.
I watched the awards ceremony
Of course I thought it’d be you
Congratulations
Staring at it quietly, he thought there was no point sending another since he’d already sent one, and turned off the screen. He forced his heavy legs to move. Stepping outside the hospital, the chill he hadn’t noticed when arriving enveloped his whole body. Even wearing the coat, his body was cold. Raising his collar to hide his nape, he headed to a nearby bus stop. He stood at the corner of a bus stop that felt farther than the distance he knew.
With his head hanging down, he waited for the bus. While tapping the sidewalk blocks with his toes, a bus passed by, but he didn’t notice at all. As he missed two in a row, his smartphone vibrated.
Missed the bus again. Should’ve taken the one just now.
The moment he checked the message, his head turned. Looking up at the top floor where the VIP room was, it vibrated again.
Another one’s coming behind.
Following that message, he turned his head to see a bus heading home approaching. Hurrying on and sitting down, he replied immediately.
Rest
And congratulations
Really
He typed “You were lovely.” but erased those words and sent. Soon a reply came.
My chest hurts so much every time I move.
Call a nurse
It was read immediately after sending, but there was no reply. At that, he turned off the screen and put it in his pocket. Leaning his relaxed body against the backrest, he closed his eyes. A long sigh naturally flowed out.
***
Yun Doyeong, practically clinging to the large window of the VIP hospital room, let out a shallow sigh at Ganghyeon’s message. Though it was the same terse reply as usual, for some reason it grated on his nerves today.
Since he was in pain, it was natural to tell a nurse, so why it felt so hurtful, he couldn’t understand. Another long sigh flowed out. Sitting on the edge of the bed, he watched the bus Ganghyeon was on grow distant. Even after the bus shrank like a toy and disappeared between buildings, he stared blankly at that spot. In the room where silence flowed, only Yun Doyeong’s sighs and the groans that unknowingly escaped each time he shifted his position could be heard.
At the buzzing message sound, he looked at his smartphone.
What did the nurse say?
His focus returned to Ganghyeon’s message and his eyes sparkled. Only then did he press the call bell above the bed. The moment the nurse entered, he asked urgently.
“My chest hurts.”
The nurse approached and supported him, seeing his face that didn’t look painful at all.
“Please lie down. I’ll tell the doctor.”
“Does it hurt this much normally?”
At Yun Doyeong’s sigh-like question, the nurse’s eyes were filled with question. Because she knew Patient Yun Doyeong was in a minor state where daily life was possible.
“……Pain varies from patient to patient. It does hurt.”
Hearing the nurse’s answer, his fingers moved across the keypad so fast they were a blur.
It hurts even when I breathe. It hurts even when I’m still, and when I move it hurts more, more, more. The nurse says it usually hurts.