1#
On the twenty-seven-inch screen that served as both his computer monitor and TV, the year-end awards ceremony was racing toward its climax. Blinding, brilliant spotlights swept over the lead actors of the dramas nominated for the Grand Prize for Acting, one after another. Among the male actors in typical tuxedos, one actor appeared on the screen.
Fair skin with distinct, clear eyes. Soft brown hair gleamed even brighter under the lights. With looks that instantly reduced the surrounding actors to ordinary people, the man smiled brightly, his eyes curving gently. It even seemed as though the lights had been arranged solely for him—from every angle, his perfect face was radiant. The fans' roars sounded loud enough to burst through the speakers.
The name of a man was called from the mouth of the veteran actress who had come out to present the award. That male actor was shown in a close-up. The cheers from the fans were louder and longer than before, so overwhelming that the host couldn't immediately continue. The called man stood, lightly embracing the actress beside him who offered her congratulations. As he headed toward the stage, he stood a full head taller than the nearby staff member. His broad shoulders and the open V of his chest gave off the air of an athlete, contrasting with his gentle appearance.
The man who had beaten out veteran actors nominated alongside him and seized the Grand Prize was only in his late twenties. The drama he had starred in had been exported worldwide, marking a milestone in K-drama history. Thanks to that, even a secluded rural bus stop where they filmed had become a tourist destination. It was a Grand Prize that couldn't have been denied, even if they'd wanted to withhold it.
Yun Doyeong smiled brightly as he received congratulations from his colleagues, then stepped onto the awards stage as if shy. Standing at the center of the stage beneath a brilliant spotlight, the Grand Prize trophy was placed in his hand. The sharp gaze of Gang Hyeon, who had been staring piercingly at the rectangular screen, fixed upon the especially glimmering golden trophy.
That was my role.
It had been a twelve-episode web drama. But when the role was switched to Yun Doyeong, the production budget jumped twenty-fold and it expanded to twenty-four episodes. Moreover, it was scheduled not as a web drama but in a primetime slot on a major broadcast network. Displaying such enormous power with his casting alone, he delivered his acceptance speech in a pleasant baritone.
"I sincerely thank the staff members who took care of me so that I could act well."
His words entered through Gang Hyeon's ears and embedded themselves sharply in his mind.
The production company officials who had showered him with praise, saying the character suited him perfectly. They probably lavished even greater compliments on Yun Doyeong. They must have cheered at the boldness of undertaking overseas filming amid such rave reviews. Perhaps they had even knelt down in adoration that Yun Doyeong had accepted the role.
"I also sincerely thank my agency's CEO, who actively pushed for me to get this role."
As he said, Gang Hyeon knew in his head that the role had been changed at the investor's request. But contrary to what he consciously understood, the inside of his chest ached so bitterly that it felt heavy. No, it hurt so much it felt as if it were being torn apart. To soothe that pain, he gulped down beer.
"I dedicate this award to my best friend, Gang Hyeon."
In the screen, Yun Doyeong's eyes curved softly. Already possessing a gentle impression, he looked sweet, as if he could melt anyone's heart. Normally, Gang Hyeon would have smiled along with that expression, but his face as he stared at the rectangular monitor showed no change. His eyes appeared even fiercer due to his cold, composed expression.
An award dedicated to me…….
What on earth did that mean? Why, for what reason. Under what pretext was he dedicating the credit for this award to me?
Gang Hyeon's pupils widened as he repeated the words. A hollow laugh escaped his slightly twisted lips.
Did you really believe that?
Did you really believe that excuse about taking a theater role and being unable to do it?
They were words he'd made up to hide his miserable feelings after hearing from the CEO that the role had gone to Yun Doyeong. Of all things, you didn't even know that I had been cast in that role. I had been careful not to tell anyone until filming began, either.
I suppose that could happen.
Because you've never once twisted my words and thought about them differently.
Because you've always believed everything I say.
A deep crease formed between Gang Hyeon's brows as he stared at the monitor. The fiercely upturned corners of his eyes reddened. The beer can in his hand crumpled. The square monitor reflected in his pupils was filled with Yun Doyeong's dazzlingly smiling figure.
He picked up the remote and turned off the screen.
Beer had already overflowed from the crushed can. The bubbling liquid trickled down over the back of his hand. Gang Hyeon, who had been silently staring at the sight, rose from his seat.
The room, barely ten pyeong, felt completely filled just by him standing up. His body, lean for his tall frame, made his legs look especially long. He walked past the gray-toned room, past the single bed and the table that doubled as a desk, to the small sink. He poured the beer down the drain. He turned on the cold water, wiped his hands, and then washed his face.
His head, which had been burning hot, cooled in the ice-cold water. Leaning against the wall beside the sink, Gang Hyeon stared blankly into space. He slowly breathed in, calming his surging chest.
The world is structured so that those who already have everything take it all. From the start, it made no sense for someone like me to snag a lead role. Even a supporting role is something to be grateful for.
If I take whatever role I'm given without being picky, I'll be recognized for my acting skills, and I can shine when I reach middle age. A character actor in supporting roles. Wasn't that the goal?
Gang Hyeon suppressed his emotions and summoned as much reason as he could. He walked to the table and turned on the desk lamp. He sat down and opened the new drama script he had received. His role was the female lead's unruly, troublemaking younger brother. His part was small, but the lively, bouncy lines were charming. It was a role that traded quick banter with the female lead and highlighted her personality. Fluorescent lines were marked on his own lines. He tried reciting them while making expressions fitting for the role. Even though it was only a few lines, he couldn't concentrate.
To come to his senses, he ruthlessly slapped his own cheek. It burned and stung until it felt numb. With a face bearing a clear handprint, he focused on the script.
His eyes scanning down the script were sharp. Reading repeatedly, he began carefully reading the other characters' lines from the first page as well. Gang Hyeon's eyes, which had barely begun to focus, now changed to something earnest. His lips recited lines, and as he immersed himself in another character's role, his expression brightened. He underlined roles he liked in blue. He was getting absorbed, gesturing and nodding, when a smartphone ringtone sounded.
At the elegant classical melody that wasn't the default ringtone, Gang Hyeon's expression instantly hardened. It was the ringtone Yun Doyeong had set immediately after he'd changed smartphones a few years ago, and he was still using it. Gang Hyeon quietly looked at the caller ID.
The three letters Yoon Doyeong shone especially clearly in the darkness. After ringing for a long while, the ringtone stopped, and in the silence that settled over the house, the sound of a message arriving echoed. The smartphone flashed, the message appearing for an instant before disappearing.
Hyeon-ah, I'm in front of your house.
Shortly after, a tacky doorbell chimed. There was also the sound of light knocking on the door. Gang Hyeon's eyes turned toward the front door. He glared at Yun Doyeong beyond the door, then shifted his gaze to the messages that arrived in succession.
I skipped the afterparty to come here. Where are you? I miss you.
At the last line, his sharp pupils trembled. The anger that had felt like it would blow his head off just moments ago had subsided and now pressed heavily on his chest. The emotions pushing away his reason were clouding his judgment once again.
His hand, hesitating briefly, lifted the smartphone.
It was Yun Doyeong, who had been called a prodigy since his days as a child actor. Objectively speaking, his acting was impeccably perfect. He shook the hearts of viewers exactly as the romance genre demanded. If Gang Hyeon had acted that role, he wouldn't have evoked that lovely feeling of having the whole world.
I admit it.
As a fellow actor, I send praise for his performance. You in the drama made my heart race, and made me wait for your calls that came almost every day.
You, who blur the line between reality and drama, are no longer bearable.
Gang Hyeon's fingers descended upon the smartphone keypad.
I watched the awards ceremony
I knew it'd be you of course
Congratulations
With this, he had observed the final courtesy as a long-time friend.
Where are you? I want to see you.
He stared at the immediate reply. Heat surged into his trembling pupils. His lips trembled at his burning eyelids. The subtle emotions exchanged with him were transmitted to his fingertips. Between swirling emotions, he had to sort out his own heart, which he hadn't been able to cut away coldly. Strength entered his fingers on the keypad.
At a hotel with my lover.
There was no reply. In the suffocatingly quiet studio, only the sound of the refrigerator running could be heard. The smartphone screen turned off automatically, and Gang Hyeon's head turned toward the script.
The script spread beneath the desk lamp didn't turn a page even after several hours. Propping his chin with one hand, he repeatedly traced lines with his fingertips and read them aloud. Finally one page turned, and slowly, page by page, he read the entire script. Sensing the faint light slipping through the blackout curtains, he stretched.
Thinking he needed to sleep, he turned on his smartphone and played the sleep music he always listened to. Putting earphones in his ears and heading toward the bed, he heard the urgent notification tone of breaking news.
Gang Hyeon, scanning the entertainment news plastered with these articles, bolted out of the house. As he ran to the main road to catch a taxi, tears poured ceaselessly from his eyes.