NeTube.
The red tag that could rightly be called the undisputed king of videos on Earth.
Would you believe that this wicked red tag, which is sucking the wallets of commoners all over the world dry, was born from lust?
Astonishingly, it’s true.
They say the company’s founder was browsing around internet sites because he wanted to see a certain actress naked, couldn’t find anything in the end, and made it himself.
When I heard that, I couldn’t help but be truly amazed.
Was this why our country’s gold-badge bastards banned Korean adults from watching adult videos?
Could a second NeTube be born in our country because of such a prohibition policy?!?
Or so I thought.
But in the end, all that happened was that the number of VPN users exploded, which once again made me realize those bastards’ heads were packed full of shit.
Still, with the birth of the monster known as a “global video-sharing platform” in this world, humanity came face-to-face with a new world…
Namely, a “dopamine party.”
A voluntary time-deletion assistant!
The algorithm!
An endlessly descending scroll!
Shorts!
The endless lowering of humanity’s average decency, common sense, and intelligence!
Video comments!
Thanks to the collaboration of all three,
people all over the world have become bodies that can no longer be satisfied by ordinary dopamine. How terrifying is that…
And among them, a few wicked individuals voluntarily become minions of the red tag,
sharpening their knives every single day to create new dopamine slaves.
We call them creators.
In the sense that they enslave people to dopamine with new videos every single day,
there was no denying that their nature was wicked.
The absurd part was that they were still hundreds of times better than the opposite occupation: game addiction therapist.
If the damage caused by game addiction is so serious, then why are there no therapists for the far more serious addiction to Shorts?
Is it because they don’t have the confidence to squeeze money out of an American company?
It was an extremely credible line of reasoning.
As you know, I was neither “a doctor who tells you to change your thoughts if you feel wronged,”
nor “a pastor who says games belong to Satan,”
nor “a career politician (hopeful) who launches planned hit pieces on game YouTubers.”
So, with tears in my eyes, I had no choice but to bow my head to this wicked red tag.
That was why I started a kirinuki channel.
===
Kirinuki is basically just “VTuber Shorts.”
It’s a comparison that makes it incredibly easy to understand.
Modern people, already enslaved by dopamine, have no ability to endure long-form live broadcasts.
Even so, the people who do enjoy watching live broadcasts are the ones overflowing with that much love for VTubers,
and they’re the ones who can casually burn through several million won in donations.
Therefore, people who go “VTubers, I love them, I love them, I love them!” began cutting out the funny parts to promote their favorite VTubers
and uploading them to their own channels. Eventually, that became a culture of its own.
However, liking free things makes you go bald,
and just as exchanging a fan’s passion for two burgers can make you pay 6.5 billion won in copyright fees,
some VTuber companies permit kirinuki editors to engage in commercial activity.
The VTuber company “Scarlive,” which Seol Yuna, a “VTubers, I love them, I love them, I love them!” type, enjoyed watching, was one of them.
“Whew… Good.”
I looked at the videos edited with excellent quality.
Five videos, most edited to around three to five minutes.
They were decently made, with readable subtitles and edits that zoomed in on the VTuber’s face.
Of course they were, since I had invested all of my free time into making those five videos.
After several minutes of checking, I uploaded the five videos to my channel…
“…”
Nothing happened.
“…Fuck.”
It was only natural.
What could possibly happen just because I uploaded a few videos to a video channel with 1 subscriber (me)?
A red ocean already dyed bright red, just like the color of the logo.
Nothing would change just because one rookie entered this place.
On top of that, the occupation known as creator was, by nature, a late-bloomer type.
It was the kind of thing where revenue only came in if you kept working steadily.
Didn’t they say that even the world’s greatest creator, MrBeast, lived in obscurity for three years without reaching ten thousand subscribers?
Therefore, my judgment was that I should quit kirinuki editing right now and go work a part-time job instead, but…
How the hell was I supposed to do that!
All of this was the fault of Seol Yuna, who had handed this cursed body down to me.
“Seol Yuna, you fucking bitch…”
When I first possessed this body,
the minds of Seol Yujin, a twenty-five-year-old doctorate holder,
and Seol Yuna, a twenty-one-year-old young woman who had edited VTuber videos, became mixed together as one.
In that process, Seol Yujin did not lose consciousness even amid that tremendous agony and managed to seize control of the body,
but I had to sacrifice many things for that control.
All kinds of hateful expressions, persistent depression,
a personality twisted by anxiety disorder,
and cursed knowledge I neither wanted to be curious about nor wanted to know.
But the most serious of them was anthropophobia.
Even if I tried to talk to someone, my entire body would freeze up in extreme fear and cold sweat would pour down.
Fortunately, I was at least somewhat used to talking with convenience store workers, but…
How was I supposed to work in this situation?
Of course, with Seol Yuna’s superior looks and figure, she could probably perform the miracle of drawing in countless customers just by standing behind a counter,
but considering that the anthropophobia itself had originated from those looks and that figure, even that was impossible.
“Fuck…”
The only alternative that came to mind was kirinuki,
but even that had unclear returns compared to the time invested.
So it was only natural that I became depressed.
Money goes out just from breathing, prices keep rising, and wages don’t.
All I could think was, how the fuck are commoners supposed to make a living?
‘Should I at least do stocks…?’
The thought flashed through my mind, but I immediately smacked myself hard in the head.
Because putting money into a rigged gambling table was total insanity.
How the hell was I supposed to make money against bastards who short-sell and then block the buy button?
“Whew… Calm down… Let’s rest for a bit…”
To calm my heart, which was pounding like it would burst from rage and anxiety,
I lay down under my worn blanket and turned on my phone.
It was also to defile my brain with countless useless bits of knowledge and misinformation,
and to satisfy my twisted desires through illegal means.
I entered an illegal site that treated copyright like shit.
Namely…
An illegal academic paper-sharing site.
“Krrr…! Fresh new papers, hot off the press…! Grrr! I can’t resist!”
I greedily read through the papers I had downloaded through illegal means, raping my own brain.
This was the proper example of academic intercourse.
===
Now that it has been known for hundreds of years that science can become money,
there are countless people who burn through money, time, and passion for the sake of technological advancement.
Overwhelming amounts of money solve most problems,
but most researchers do not have that overwhelming money.
Thus, there are plenty of bastards twisting their entire bodies into knots to solve their problems within a fixed budget.
After all, there were truckloads of bastards willing to sell their souls, lifespans, and health to the devil in order to succeed in experiments and write papers.
(No mean comments saying they can’t sell them because they already don’t have any.)
However, the God of Knowledge took pity on them and sent his apostle down to the Gallery…
The name of that apostle was “Fermi.”
[Ah, fuck… What kind of bullshit is this now?]
[Author: ParticleWave]
My major textbook says something about Phonons and Magnons functioning as new particles or whatever lol
You
sons
of
bitches
Write it so I can understand
- Anon : That’s the first time I’ve heard that lol
- abc : Did you ask AI?
ㄴ ParticleWave : If I knew, would I be raising hell here?
- ede🟦 : What’s your major?
ㄴ ParticleWave : Major in quantum physics, minor in quantum information
ㄴ ede🟦 : Crazy bastard lol Good luck
ㄴ ParticleWave : Explain before you go…
Fermi : They’re not particles, they’re quasiparticles. It’s easier to think of them not as real particles, but as mediators of momentum transfer in many-body systems.
ㄴ Fermi : Phonons are heat, and Magnons are magnetism, just like the name implies.
ㄴ Fermi : For details, refer to this paper. If you’re in quantum information, you should look deeper into this person’s papers. They’re someone who makes computers with magnons. Link1 Link2
ㄴ ParticleWave : Thank you… Thank you… Teacher…
ㄴ Fermi : You’re always working hard for the advancement of science.
[Experiment got fucked again, fuck lol Taking questions lol]
[Author: OpticsGay]
I’m a guy researching optics…
My research on next-generation metamaterials failed again…
I spent over 200 million won of research funds on the experiment, but fuck, not a single thing worked lololol
That professor bastard is openly cursing me out in the lab right now, and he says if I don’t succeed this time too, he’ll hand me over to the disciplinary committee…
I really feel like I’m going to die…
- Anon : Hang in there… There’s nothing I can do for you, so I’ll at least give you an upvote…
ㄴ OpticsGay : Thanks, even if it’s just the thought
- sef : You threw 200 million into the trash and you’re blaming the professor? lol Do you have a conscience?
ㄴ OpticsGay : Fuck, then what more am I supposed to do?
ㄴ OpticsGay : The professor was the one who got the project, the professor was the one who dumped it on me, the professor was the one openly riding my ass without giving me even 1 bit of help, and the professor was the one who skimmed 800 million out of the 1 billion in support funds
ㄴ OpticsGay : From here, what else am I suppsoed to do????
ㄴ OpticsGay : An s w er me, you fucking bitch
ㄴ sef : I’m sorry. I would like to publicly apologize to OpticsGay, who must have been deeply angered by my careless remarks…
- Fermi : DM ㄱㄱ
ㄴ OpticsGay : Thank you… The experiment succeeded… Thank you… Thank you… Truly… I have nothing else to offer but these words…
ㄴ Anon : …What just happened?
The savior who had appeared in the Graduate Student Gallery at some point
and wiped away the worries and concerns of all graduate students in an instant.
How could one not call him an apostle of the God of Knowledge…?
After the many miracles performed by the apostle of God,
even the end point of worldly authority, the orange-badge head admin and his blue-badge minions, were moved by that person’s power,
and allowed only that person’s name to be written in the Gallery.
This was called “becoming a named user.”
[Fermi <<< Upvote if he’s a god]
[Author: Anon]
Starting with me lol
- Anon : Upvoted lol
- ede🟦 : Upvoted lol
- ParticleWave : Hey, you bastard, is Lord Fermi your friend?
ㄴ Anon : Fr lol
ㄴ PaperFucker🟧 : Fr lol
- OpticsGay : OohalmightyLordFermipleaseprotectmewitheternallightOohalmightyLordFermipleaseprotectmewitheternallightOohalmightyLordFermipleaseprotectmewitheternallight…
ㄴ Anon : Ugh, cut the spam, fuck
And while watching all this bullshit as she edited kirinuki, Seol Yuna wrote only one comment about it.
- Fermi : Hm, is it that much?
And with that, all those in the Gallery were once again moved by that person’s humility and bowed their heads, or so it was said.
ㄴ Anon : Fermen…
ㄴ ede🟦 : Fermen…
ㄴ ParticleWave : Fermen…
ㄴ PaperFucker🟧 : Fermen…
ㄴ OpticsGay : Fermen…